A/N: This is my first 70s Show fic, so I'm a little nervous. I actually have a few other started, so if you think this one's decent enough, leave a nice review and I'll post more. P I'm sure the theme of this story has been done before, but I tried to put my own spin on it, so hopefully you'll all like it.

Basically, all you need to know is that this story is set when Hyde is 22. He writes a letter to his mother, five years after she abandoned him.Reviews would be lovely.

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah... I own nothing.

To Edna,

Five years ago today, you left me. Just up and ran off, ran away with some fat trucker and abandoned your only son. Left me behind with a dirty house and a stack of unpaid bills. After five years of silence, I think it's time I finally give you a piece of my mind. I've never been one to talk much, so there's only one thing I can think of to say...

Thank you.

Surprised, right? Yeah, I even shocked myself with that one. But I mean it, Ma. Because in some twisted way, you actually taught me a few things. Important things.

...No, I'm not high. To be honest, I haven't even seen pot in two weeks. I haven't replenished my stash in at least a month.

It's a good thing you left. You remember the Formans? Probably not... but I usually have trouble remembering people when I'm wasted, too. Anyway, I live with them... have since the day you left. And since the day Bud left again, this time to be with you. They took me in as their own as quickly as you tossed me aside. Twice.

Now, it wasn't easy at first. After I got arrested - take a stab at what for - Red almost kicked me out. And then he grounded me. Ya know, that's when a parent takes away his kid's privileges because he's been a dumbass. And Mrs. Forman - she was on my case constantly. Drink more orange juice, do your homework, go to school... it was hell for awhile, man. But I got used to it.

They taught me what a family was, Ma. Compassion, understanding, forgiveness. They're real. You wouldn't get it, though. Hell, sometimes I still don't get it. But you were all wrong about people, because they can care. Even for a lost cause like me. Don't get me wrong, we're not the Partridge family. We don't dance and we don't sing. Well... Forman went through a roller disco phase, but that's another story... Point is, we're not perfect. Not with a whiny son, a skankoid absent daughter, and a burnout living in the basement. But we make it work. Sometimes things actually work out, ya know.

Have you heard that I own a record store? A pretty successful one, too. But don't worry, I didn't work too hard to get here. The store was given to me by my dad. My real dad. The one you didn't tell me about. He's real rich, Ma. I'm surprised you didn't hang onto him, or at least get some child support out of him. Then again, you haven't always been the brightest woman. I should've known, I guess. There's no way I got this hair from you or Bud.

Speaking of good ol' Bud, how's he doing these days? Assuming you haven't moved back to Uncle Fred... or was it Uncle Charlie? I can't really remember who came next in the cycle. But I'm getting distracted. Either way, you have a thing for ex-cons. Any of them ever mention Councilman Burkhart? You remember him, I know you do... you always said he was the only good politician in Point Place. Figures. You were always such an excellent judge of character. Next time you drop by the prison, give him a visit. He'll tell you all about how I'm dating his daughter Jackie. You know, the spoiled little rich one, I took her to prom and I told you it was because she cried. Well Ma, it wasn't just because she cried... but don't tell anyone I told you so. We've been together for practically 4 years now, on and off.

Don't choke on that beer just yet. Want an even bigger surprise? I'm marrying her. Next week. Bet ya didn't see that coming. Steven Hyde, your screw-up son, getting married. Starting a new life with the most amazing chick in Point Place. In fact, Ma, the only reason I picked the pen up tonight was to end my old life, the one you gave me. After next week, I won't be Hyde, the teenage loser, the poor orphan boy with no future, mooching off his best friend's parents. I'll be Steven Hyde, the man, the husband. I think that's worth a day in an uncomfortable suit.

I almost lost her, and I thank you for that. For making me so paranoid, so afraid to feel anything that I tried to sabotage the only woman I've ever really loved. You'd never believe some of the things I did to her, Ma. Cheated on her with a nurse. Never told her I loved her except for when I cheated with the nurse. Refused to marry her when she offered to give up a dream job to be with me. You really can't blame me. I mean, if my own mother couldn't give up a day of her empty life for me, why would Jackie Burkhardt give up a promising career? People don't give things up for guys like me.

Did I tell you that this is my second marriage? And that the first was all a fluke? A stripper that I married drunk off my ass simply because I wanted to spite Jackie for leaving me. That's the Hyde you raised, right Ma?

I stayed married to that stripper for six months. You would've been proud.

I couldn't have done it without you, Ma. I couldn't have singlehandedly tormented that poor girl without you showing me how firsthand. And without you, I couldn't have seen how much I was turning into you. I wish you knew how much that disgusted me.

I caught myself before I hit rock bottom, thanks to you. Laying on the bathroom floor at the Formans, puking up the half of a keg I drank trying to get those all too familiar words out of my head. "Just like your father, Steven." That's what you used to say, right? Only this time, it wasn't you I heard. It was Jackie. And when Fez leaned me over the sink, my sunglasses fell to the floor and I actually had to look at myself in the mirror. And ya know what I saw? You. I saw you in my eyes. Scary, huh?

That night I had one of those epiphanies you hear people talking about. I was throwing my life away for sex and beer. Thank you for following that path, Ma. For showing me, by example, that I was ruining my life. Ruining her life.

Eventually, I divorced the stripper and sent her back to Vegas. She didn't seem to mind too much. I got Jackie to take me back, just ten months ago. You should've seen all the crap I had to do to convince her. Flowers, candy... I ever bought her jewelry. Real gold. It sickened me. But what can I say? I guess I really do love her.

Yeah, I said it. And this time, there was no nurse.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Ma, is thanks. Thank you for being a terrible mother. For valuing sex and booze more then your own son. For abandoning me and making me feel worthless. After all, that is what brought Jackie and me together. Both of us, orphaned at the age of 17. Ironic, huh? Me and my loud-mouthed cheerleader. Funny how things work out.

I don't expect to hear back from you. I'm not even sure I expect you to read this. But if you do, I hope you know that I mean what I said. Every word of it. And by the time you see it, I'll be standing at an alter, vowing to spend the rest of my life with Jackie Burkhardt. Forever surrounded by stuffed animals and unicorns. Only when I say forever, I mean it.

Hope you're doing well, Edna. I know I'm doing alright. In fact, we're all alright.

-Steven

THE END