"No, just get off me! If I have to be subjected to the sadistic mercies of you voodoo witch doctors I'll at least see the head of the tribe. Not some barely competent chanting little underling."

"What is it now Rodney?" asked Carson.

"Ah decided to join us have you? Sacrificed enough chickens this morning already or are you just looking for a human victim now?"

"Who said I needed tae look for them." he smiled. "What is it this time Rodney?"

"You really need to work on your bedside manner you know that?"

"I have an exceptional bedside manner thank you very much…but then you always do tend to make the exception for yourself, don't you Rodney?"

"Ow!" he yelped, snatching his arm back "Will you stop prodding at me you incompetent little monkey-man!"

"Rodney," warned Carson. "It's alright Lee, I'll take care of it."

Lee gave Carson a thankful glance and escaped to the back of the infirmary.

"You need to train your staff better-"

"You know for someone who professes tae hate this place so much, you seem tae spend an inordinate amount of time in it."

"Yeah well its hardly my fault, I mean look at this. It's almost falling off!" he proffered his arm, completely intact with a light cut on his forearm. "I was working on the systems down in one of the ancient labs and suddenly bam! This thing slams down and almost takes my arm off. I was lucky I got away with this -this huge gash halfway up my arm."

Carson quirked an eyebrow and took the proffered arm, lightly but firmly in his hands. Rodney whimpered in protest.

"Flesh wound." he pronounced "Doesn't appear too deep, you won't even need stitches."

"Are you kidding? Look at the thing, it's huge, it was bleeding everywhere! I could have lost my arm today. I mean how am I gonna keep this place running with one arm?"

"It's not gonnae fall off Rodney."

"Fall off? Why is it gonna fall off? What - what if it gets some disease and falls off? What if it was infected with some sort of disease? What if I get gangrene? Oh God, I'm gonna get gangrene aren't I?"

"Rodney," sighed Carson "you only get gangrene due to exposure tae extreme temperatures or if you have very poor circulation - which you do not have."

"Now you mention it I have been getting this tingly feeling in my toes sometimes and -"

"Rodney, your circulation is fine, your arm is fine. You are fine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Oh, ok…can I go now then?"

"No chance."

"But you just said -"

"I'll give you a bandage just tae keep it clean and run a set of blood works just as routine, then you can leave. Happy?"

"Very. Rarely."

"'Course if you really have been feeling that poorly we should probably keep you under supervision for a wee while, just until the tests are back, especially if you think you've lost that much blood."

"What? No. I have to get back to the lab, the thing-"

"Will be there when you get back. You'll stay here 'till I say otherwise lad, won't be long and we certainly don't want to risk you fainting on us now do we?"

Rodney threw a dark look at Carson and started mumbling under his breath.

"Don't pout lad, it doesn't suit you." he said dipping a stick of cotton bud into a capful of iodine.

"I. Hate. You."

"Love you too Rodney," he smiled lowering the stick onto his cut.