I'm back! Sorry about the long wait, but my laptop stopped working! Stupid piece of crap... hope it burns! Anyway, i made this chapter extra long to make up for the long wait (well... i think it's long!). Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Nine

Tohma hung up the phone. He sighed as he looked up at K. The manager was shaking his head in disappointment as he lowered his gun from his aim on the producer. "We'll never finish the recording on time," K commented as he moved to sit down in the chair across from Tohma, putting his muddy combat boots up on top of the desk as he leaned back in the chair.

Tohma slumped over his desk. His gaze was fixed on the scattered documents in front of him that littered his desk. They were covered with pictures of a certain person with their name and age beside each one. He sighed as he pushed K's feet off of his desk and picked up one of the papers with a gloved hand. "That's the least of my concerns," Tohma muttered as he read the paper, a frown marring his handsome face as he gazed at the picture in front of him. He twirled around in his chair, facing the large window behind him. "This… this is what worries me."

K chuckled as he watched Tohma wave the document around. "Why do you concern yourself with him? It's so unlike you Tohma to worry about unimportant matters. Just let it go. I'm sure everything will turn out fine if you just keep this from getting to the paparazzi."

Tohma shook his head as he turned around and laid the paper down on a stack of files. His expression was mixed with worry and sorrow. "I'm not so sure about him. I just have a feeling that this will leak out."

K let out an exasperated sigh. "You're just paranoid. What do the files say? Has he killed anyone? Is he a child molester?"

Tohma sighed as he shook his head. "No."

K smiled as he rose up his hands in triumph. "You see! Nothing to worry about!"

Tohma looked up at him. He leaned forward and rested his head on the palm of his hand. "It's not that. I'm worried. Yuki… I don't want him to get hurt. Not ever again. And knowing this… I don't have a very good feeling about having those two..." Tohma trailed off, unable to finish.

"Well… what do the documents say?" asked K as he took one of the papers off of Tohma's desk and began reading it. The expression on his face immediately became solemn. "Are you sure you have the right person? It could be a twin… or someone who looks like him."

Tohma shook his head. "It's him. His family is well known in New York. They've been trying to keep it on the down low. I was quite shocked when I found out, as well. You'd never suspect this, but then again I don't know him very well."

K's eyebrows furrowed. "I didn't think… I never knew that… how could someone ever hide something like this? This is just… so horrible. It disgusts me!"

Tohma stood up and grabbed his coat from the hanger. K followed him. "Where are you going?" he asked as he stopped to watch Tohma heading towards the door.

"Out. I need a drink."

"Are you going to do anything about this?"

Tohma turned around, his gaze fierce as he stared at K. "No. Don't let any word of this getting out. Don't confront him, either. He could become violent."

"How is he?" asked Tohma as he entered Yuki's apartment without knocking. He looked around the apartment quickly, his eyes scanning the bland living room and then wandering up the stairs to the bedroom door that was cracked open.

Yuki's eyes narrowed as he stood up from his couch, turning off the TV and throwing the remote carelessly on the cushions behind him. He crossed his arms as he stared at the producer and frowned. "How the hell did you get in? The door was locked."

Tohma slowly turned toward his brother-in-law and sweat dropped, but quickly put on his famous smile. "I'm sure you just thought you locked it. I've done it once before in my time!"

Yuki walked toward Tohma and started searching his brother-in-law, finding a key in his coat pocket. The blonde held up the key in between their view and scowled. "Why do you have a key to my apartment? I thought the deal was I help you get Shuichi and you'll give me my house keys back! Including the copies!"

Tohma shook his head as he waved a finger in front of the blonde mockingly. "Yes, but you didn't get Shuichi to agree by the end of the party. That was the deal. Instead Shuichi came to me on his own the NEXT day. I didn't think you'd mind if I had a key as long as Tatsuha wasn't able to intrude in upon your privacy. And besides, someone needs to check up on you every so often to make sure you're taking care of yourself."

"Whatever," Yuki grumbled as he turned around and stuck the key into his pocket, trying to ignore the fact that his nosey brother-in-law had most likely already made several copies. "The kid is in my room."

Tohma smirked menacingly. "It's only been a few hours since we talked last and you already have him in bed? My, you've been busy, Yuki, but I never would have branded you as the type to sleep with the ill. Pervert…"

Yuki whirled around and glared at the man in the purple coat. "For your information I haven't even touched him!"

Tohma waved him off, dismissing his comment as if it was unimportant. "Say what you want, but I know you've been prying for the boy's address for a while. If you haven't touched him, I'm sure you've tried, right?"

Yuki scowled as he looked away.

And that's when Tohma became worried.

Shuichi leaned forward, his finger inside his mouth as he puked out the rest of the soup Yuki had made him eat after his nap. He gasped as he raised his head, sweat rolling down his forehead as he stared at the bile in the toilet. His hands grasped the sink and he pulled himself up, his feet slipping and sliding on the tile floor. He cried out when he stubbed his toe against the shower door, but quickly recovered and stood to his full height.

And then there was the mirror that stared back at him, mocking his weakness and his pain. He stared back at his pitiful reflection, trying to ignore the dark circles underneath his eyes. If he didn't look so sickly he could pass himself off as some porn star; the slight pout on his lips, the blush that stained his cheeks, and his wild hair that just screamed 'Ravish me'. Oh, yeah. He looked absolutely delectable. Shuichi chuckled cruelly as he ran a hand through his hair.

Even my sisters would lust after me, he thought as he stared down at the tiny red marks on his wrists.

He blinked back tears as he smiled.

Hideki… he says I'm beautiful...

Shuichi opened a drawer to the sink, no longer staring at his sickening reflection.

He loves my dark hair, my pale skin and the scars that cover me from inside and out…

He opened another drawer, not finding what he needed and proceeded to open the next drawer down, becoming even more anxious as time ticked by.

He wants me to stay with him… he left his wife just for me…

His eyes softened as he found what he was looking for, winking and twinkling back at him mockingly.

And yet…

He brought the glittering metal to his wrist, feeling the coolness against his flesh.

I want someone else…

Shuichi gazed up at himself in the mirror.

Who will never want me.

He scraped the razor against his wrist, a moan escaping from his parted lips. His face contorted with pain and bliss, as if he were making love for the very first time. He dropped the bloody razor onto the spotless tile floor, his gaze moving to the scarlet liquid that was slowly making its way down the length of his arm.

He sobbed softly as tears rolled down his cheeks and onto the floor.

(Flashback)

Shuichi watched as his lips moved toward him, his breath hitching and his heart beat pounding loudly in his ears. Is this really happening, he wondered as he closed his eyes. A shaky breath escaped his lips as he felt the blonde's warm breath on his chin. He leaned slightly forward, and then blushed scarlet when he felt Yuki's lips just barely touching his own.

Shuichi's eyes opened when he suddenly felt Yuki pull away and the warmth disappear just as quickly. He gasped as he looked around, tears coming to his eyes. His gaze wandered to the walls, to the carpet, the blanket that covered his legs, anywhere to avoid Yuki's gaze. He felt like he had just been smacked. Nobody rejected him, nobody had. Everybody loved him. Everybody wanted to be him, be with him. Except for…

Except for him.

Except for Yuki.

Shuichi looked up as he felt a hand run through his dark locks. "Get some sleep," the older man said before he walked out of the room and gently closed the door behind him.

(End Flashback)

Shuichi came back to reality when he heard voices heading towards him. His eyes dropped to the drips of blood on the floor and the bile in the toilet. He looked up quickly, noticing a red haze of himself through the blood stained mirror. How the hell…? His eyes widened as a flood of memories came rushing back to him and he heard screams of a boy and the crash of glass. He clamped his hands against his ears as he whispered, "Not again…"

"Please… I'm sorry. I can do-"

SMACK

He cried out in pain as he crashed into the mirror. Blood dripped everywhere. And all he could see was red through the glass…

As the voices grew louder, Shuichi quickly shook his head and grabbed a towel on a stand nearby. He started wiping vigorously at the floor and mirror and tried to stop the bleeding on his arm as the footsteps drew near. After throwing the towel in the corner by the door he quickly flushed the toilet and looked around for any other suspecting objects.

The door creaked as it was opened.

The blade lay forgotten underneath the sink on the bathroom floor.

Shuichi whirled around and was faced with a shocked Tohma and Yuki. He hid his arm behind his back and gave a nervous smile. Oh God, what should I say? Nothing too stupid, I hope…

"H-hello…?" Shuichi stuttered. He immediately blushed when Yuki gave him a look as if to say 'Are you alright upstairs'?

Idiot.

What else was I supposed to say?

Preferably nothing.

Tohma immediately smiled, which helped to diminish some of Shuichi's embarrassment. "Hello, Mr. Shindou. We were looking for you. Are you feeling better?"

Shuichi nodded as his smile widened. "Yes. Much better, thank you. I think I'll be able to work tomorrow."

Yuki frowned while Tohma looked concerned. "Oh, that won't be necessary Mr. Shindou. You just focus on-"

"No," Shuichi interrupted. He looked towards the floor, trying not to shiver as the cold air blew in from the window behind him, brushing against his wound. "I just started and I want to make the deadline. I may not be able to model in my condition… or sing for a day or two. But I need to finish those lyrics for you. We have a deadline and I intend to meet it!" Shuichi looked up at Tohma; his fierce eyes took the president by surprise, reminding him of another singer who was just as stubborn.

Tohma stared at Shuichi, a strange mix of worry and annoyance on his face. And then suddenly it was gone and replaced with a smile that sent eerie shivers down Shuichi's back. "Alright, Shindou. If that's really what you want."

Shuichi nodded brusquely, trembling and suddenly feeling dizzy. "It is."

"I suggest you stay here and get some rest," Yuki interjected as he grabbed Shuichi's arm, steadied the nauseous boy, and led him out of the bathroom. "Get into bed and stay there. If I see you out and about again I'm kicking you out and you can find somewhere else to stay!"

Yuki roughly shoved Shuichi into the master bedroom and slammed the door closed. He walked back to Tohma and crossed his arms. "What the hell are you thinking?" he shouted.

Tohma shrugged and turned his back to the novelist, looking around the seemingly clean bathroom. "If he wants to work, let him work."

"He's sick," Yuki said simply as he grabbed the rumpled towel on the floor and started to fold it.

Tohma turned toward Yuki. "He's just-" he stopped when he noticed the bloodstains on the white towel. "Yuki," he started hesitantly, "has Shuichi been acting… odd?"

Yuki thought for a moment and answered, "No."

"I see."

Shuichi opened his eyes. Tuesday. He had spent the night with Yuki. The very thought made him blush, until he realized that the man hadn't even taken one step into his room since he had so carelessly tossed the poor model inside. Shuichi sighed and turned towards the clock that rested on the night stand next to him. It read 1:30.

Shuichi immediately bolted out of the bed. "Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm late already! Where are my clothes?" he asked to himself as he started searching the dresser and pulling out clothes that didn't belong to him and were obviously meant to be worn to bed. Giving up on finding his other clothes he quickly grabbed a pair pants and a shirt that were hanging up in the closet and got dressed.

He looked at the clock.

1:50

He ran out of the bedroom as fast as lightning. "I can still make it!" he shouted as he ran through crowds of people, dodging traffic and evil bicyclists that he swore, 'were trying to run him over'. Just as he was about to pass out the NG building came into view and he used his last bit of strength to run inside, up the stairs, and into Room 2.

K, Hiro, and Suguru stared at him in shock as he crashed through the door and stopped in front of them. Shuichi slumped forward, hands braced on his knees as he gasped. The black dress pants he had randomly grabbed were down to his knees, exposing plaid boxers and the red shirt was sliding off of his shoulders.

"I'm here," Shuichi panted.

Suguru turned toward the clock that was positioned on the wall beside him. "And you're on time, too," he added.

Shuichi beamed. "Yeah!" he shouted as he regained his posture and gave a thumb up sign.

"So does that mean you have the lyrics finished?" K asked.

Shuichi immediately dropped to the floor and groaned out, "… No."

The three sighed as they stared down at the depressed model. "Well, I guess we better get working," said Hiro as he shrugged and walked toward his guitar. "We need to make that deadline."

Suguru sighed. "If only Shuichi could come up with some decent lyrics we could start recording. I don't even know if he's a decent vocalist."

K chuckled. "No need to worry, Mr. Fujisaki," said K as he loaded his gun and pointed it at Shuichi. "I can always give Shuichi some inspiration."

Shuichi gulped and quickly grabbed a piece of paper and pencil and began working on his unfinished lyrics.

Vanish into the night

These days people have been led astray

Throw off the chains if they are rusted…?

What the hell am I writing? Shuichi asked himself as he stared down at the lyrics he just wrote. Shuichi looked up at the clock and scowled. It took me two hours to write this crap! What the hell! Shuichi groaned as he smacked his forehead. "I'm never going to finish," he whined.

Hiro smiled. "Don't worry. You're just in a slump. You'll get out of it!"

Shuichi shook his head. "No! I've always been awful when it came to writing. I can't even write a simple haiku! If only I had taken more creative writing classes during my short time in college..."

Hiro chuckled. "Well, instead of beating yourself up about it, why don't you go to the club with me and Suguru tonight?"

Hiro turned toward the green haired boy who shrugged in reply. "It'd be good for us to hang out for once," Suguru added. "We barely know one another."

"How 'bout it?" Hiro asked, his eyes staring at the model with a hopeful look.

Shuichi stared at Suguru and Hiro, both looked sincere. But what would Hideki think? Shuichi looked away. "I shouldn't. I haven't been feeling well… and going to a club wouldn't make me feel any better."

Hiro shrugged. "Alright, but if you change your mind we'll be waiting for you at the entrance of the Code."

Shuichi nodded and quickly returned to his lyrics. You wouldn't have had fun anyway. And Hideki would have been mad. Yes. Hideki would have been mad.

Shuichi looked down at his lyrics and sighed in frustration. He crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it into the trash can behind him, missing it by an inch. As he stared down at the blank sheet in front of him he was suddenly reminded of a golden eyed blonde.

I hide myself from others

Because I know that they won't see me

But I see you

And you see me

And I feel as if I could love you

Forever

Shuichi's eyes widened as he sang the lyrics to himself, liking the tune and enjoying the rhythm of it. "K will like this one," he muttered to himself as he stood up, lyrics still in hand. "I just need to finish it…"

Shuichi looked up at the clock. His eyes bugged out at the time.

9:00

It's 9:00 already! It took me five hours... well I was daydreaming about... I need to get back!

Shuichi quickly rushed out of the room and ran down the stairs. He stopped when he noticed Hiro and Suguru heading his way and hid behind a wall. I feel too embarrassed about rejecting their invitation.

"So what do you think about him?" asked Suguru.

"I don't know," Hiro answered, sounding bored. "Honestly, I hate him. I wish Mr. Seguchi hadn't hired him on. I hate his friends, too."

Shuichi's eyes watered. Are they talking about me? Does Hiro really hate me? He seemed so nice before… Didn't Hideki warn you? Yes, but- You really are an idiot. Of course they hate you! You can't even come up with decent lyrics!

"I feel the same," Suguru commented. "What was my cousin thinking?"

Shuichi couldn't hear anymore and quickly rushed out of the wall he had been hiding behind and out of the building into the rain. He ran down the street, pushing past people and ignoring the honks of cars as he ran through traffic. I need to get back to Yuki's. He'll be mad at me for ignoring him.

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he remembered Hiro's comment. He couldn't be talk about me. Hiro is so nice to me. He wouldn't do that… What are you talking about? You barely know each other!

Shuichi came to the apartment building and ran inside and up the stairs. He ran down the hallway, his shoes squeaking loudly and his drenched body dripping onto the carpet and stopped at what, he suspected, was Yuki's room.

The door opened before he could knock.

And he met fierce golden eyes that darkened at Shuichi's dripping form.

"How did-"

"Get in!" Yuki barked before Shuichi could finish asking his question and grabbed the boy's arm and dragged him inside.

Shuichi quickly kicked off his shoes and followed Yuki toward the living room, stopping when the novelist whirled around to face him.

"Where the hell have you been?" he shouted.

Shuichi couldn't look into the blonde's eyes and focused instead on the floor. "Work."

"I thought I told you to get some rest!"

Shuichi nodded. "You did."

"Why didn't you leave a note? And are those my clothes that you're wearing?"

Shuichi nodded. "I didn't leave a note, because I was running late… and I couldn't find my clothes."

"Then why the hell didn't you stay home?" shouted the novelist. "That's my good shirt!"

Shuichi sniffed. "I'm sorry."

Yuki sighed as tears streamed down Shuichi's face, dripping onto the floor and mixing with the rain water. "Take off those clothes and get a shirt out of my dresser. I want you in bed. Have you had anything to eat?"

Shuichi shook his head, unable to lie to him.

"Get into bed and I'll be in with some soup."

Shuichi nodded.

Shuichi flushed the toilet, trying to ignore the bile that he had forced himself to throw up. His body ached everywhere and the dizziness didn't help. He fell into the cozy bed and cuddled close to the pillows, not bothering to put the blanket on his warm body. I feel so hot, he thought as rested his hand on his forehead. His eyes closed.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are, Shuichi?" he asked as he stroked the boy's face. "You're like an angel."

The boy moved away, crying out when he was slammed against the brick wall. "Please, don't," he whispered as tears fell from his violet eyes and onto the glass that cut his hands.

"Shuichi, why do you run from me?" he asked, looking hurt. "I love you."

The boy sobbed as his shirt was unbuttoned. He struggled against him, but was smacked for his disobedience.

"You will obey me!" he shouted.

Shuichi opened his eyes, the screams of the last three years playing over in his mind's eye. He stared up at the ceiling, not able to sleep.

"You're so beautiful, Shuichi. Like an angel."

Did you like it? Please review and tell me! I'm starting on chapter ten right now and i'll have it out by the end of July at the latest (hopefully sooner). Ja!