The high ceiling of the church was beautifully decorated as streams upon streams of sakura blossoms were strung from every place imaginable. Hours of work had been dedicated to plucking and stringing the delicate blossoms, and the result was picturesque. The warm afternoon sun added to the effect, drifting silently through the high church windows not only illuminating the church, but also highlighting the soft pink color of the blossoms. As guests walked through the grand chapel doors, they were awed into silence as the majestic sight greeted them. Never in their wildest dreams did anyone think that the run-down chapel could be turned into anything remotely resembling a church. The abandoned chapel stood on the outskirts of the city, left to the mercy of the elements, only to be discovered by the bride months prior. And now, everyone could see just what had captured her attention. This is what she saw as she stood staring at the neglected building: the graceful sunlight, the droves of sakura blossoms, and the indescribable air of joy that hung everywhere.

Happiness clung to every inch of the church as more and more guests arrived, most with genuine smiles on their faces. That is, all but one.

She sat on the right side, in the second row, signifying that she was a close as family. And the significance was not lost to any of the guests – how many times in the history of the Hyuuga clan, was an outsider allowed to sit as a clan member? Her years of dedication and her remarkable skill had won her the respect and, at times, even the admiration of more than one clan member, including Hiashi-sama himself.

Her deep brown hair elegantly curled and resting peacefully on her back, was a stark contrast to the soft pink dress that clung on her body. She was slightly hunched, with her head tilted forward and eyes closed. From all appearances, she seemed calm, perfectly at peace with the world; but to anyone who truly knew her, they could spot the tension in her shoulders, the small frown on her lips, and the air of resignation around her. But all this was disregarded by the majority, thinking that she was lost in her own little world, thinking that her happiness would return once she realized where she really was. For how could someone wallow in despair on such a happy occasion? But they were all fools. They did not understand that it was the chapel, the fact that today was his wedding day, and the cold truth that she was not the bride that had her weeping silently in despair. Her world was shattering, and not one saw.

But perhaps the greatest irony of all was that she had blessed this union.

Why did she do this? Why did she subject herself to this torture? Why, when he asked her for her blessing, did she not cry out and protest with everything she had? Why did she reassure her that she was truly happy for her marriage? Why did she do all of this, when each night she returned home and cried anguished tears?

The answer was simple: his happiness always came before her own.

That one simple fact rang true throughout her entire life. How many times had she pushed herself beyond what was physically healthy? How many times had she trained, battled, pushed through blinding pain, fatal wounds, exhausting training sessions so that he could become stronger? Whose constant barrage of weapons allowed him to hone his ultimate defense, the Kai Ten? Who endured the 64 Hands of Hakke so that he could perfect it, so that he could see the true extent of its devastating power?

Who had trained with him, cared for him, bled for him?

'Not her. Me. Always me. Never her,' She thought bitterly. She had sacrificed so much, and now received so little.

How cruel fate was. How cruel destiny is. How ironic.

As he walked through the great wooden doors, he didn't know how to feel. His mouth refused to form a smile, but he heart wouldn't allow him to break the aura of happiness. But even with mind and heart in turmoil, he didn't dare miss this event. Years of blood, sweat, and pain wouldn't allow him to miss hisnew beginning, a second chance that he rightfully deserved. With not only his family broken at an early age, but his lost childhood and the painful isolation, he deserved to finally correct the wrongs of his childhood – he deserved a second chance.

But that didn't make sitting through his wedding any easier.

However, as he walked through the grand chapel doors, he realized that he was not alone – someone else shared his pain. He looked around for his teammate, hoping that she was here, but knowing that she was. If he was despairing her wedding, his sole consolation was that he had tried to cultivate the small bud of romance into a beautiful flower – he used every opportunity to sway her into his arms, to show her that his love burned with the fire of youth! But to no avail – it would not be his loud and ardent proclamations that wooed her heart, but the soft admission of a tortured soul.

He prided himself on the fact that he had no regrets – he could honestly say that he tried.

But he was alone in that proclamation.

He found her, sitting ramrod straight, staring aimlessly at her hands, as though she barely convinced her body to attend the wedding, but refused to bring her mind. He stopped, unable to move on as he watched her. She had regrets, and they weighed her down as if spitefully taunting her with their loaded "what if's."

"Tenten," he whispered unconsciously.

As he looked at her, he almost felt ashamed of himself. Yes, he was suffering; yes, it took Gai-sensei to whip his ass before he came out of his misery-induced depression; and yes, in the deep, dark, little part of his heart that he tried to ignore, he wanted to rip out his eyes and shove them up his ass.

But compared to her suffering, he was like a child crying over a lost lollipop, while his mother was being violently abused. (1)

"Tenten," he said as he approached her.

She didn't respond immediately, indolently raising her head to look up at him. As she recognized him, her façade cracked slightly and her voice shook as she tried to respond.

"Lee."

She looked at him, her eyes piercing through his soul, striking him through his heart and rendering him helpless. Those eyes assailed him with questions: Why am I here? Why did I come? But he couldn't answer her. He stared inert and transfixed by those eyes, those terrible eyes, that simultaneously seemed to desperately beg for answers, while accusing him, blaming him for being unable to answer. Why did I say 'yes'?

But how could he answer? How could he tell her what he truly thought? For while he empathized with her pain, while he not only understood that her relationship with him was far from black and white, but also that she was scared shitless of the prospect of losing that relationship, a small, dark part of him whispered, 'You brought this on yourself.' (2)

There he said it.

He finally said what was softly whispering through the back of his mind. She had brought this on herself. He had tried. He refused to give up in the face of repeated failures. He swore to himself that only when he had tried everything, that only when he had no more to give to her and she still refused him, that he would give up. And he kept that promise to himself.

But she didn't do that. The two danced around the subject too long, lived in ambiguity too long, refused to acknowledge their feelings for so long, that the game, the dance, the ambiguity simply grew tiresome.

And he did not like to waste his time.

That's why she succeed. Not because she wormed her way into his heart, not because he found solace in her flighty, moth-like demeanor (3), and certainly not because he believed that he could trust her with his secrets and pain.

No, certainly not. She only succeed because her proclamation of "love" came at a fortuitous moment – she simply plucked the fruit cultivated by his teammate's gentle hands.

It was Tenten he loved, not her – but they had waited too long, and now, they were both about to make the biggest mistake of their lives: they were going to give up, rationalizing their failure as a "sacrifice" for the "sake" of the other.

Ha. What bullshit.

They were both going to live empty, regretful lives if they continued to be so uncharacteristically "self-sacrificing." (4)

"Will you all take you seats? The ceremony is about to begin."

He entered, looking as handsome as she expected – she had put the final touches on his appearance – but refused to fully understand what his entrance really meant. She didn't expect him to turn his head to look for her, assuming he expected her to be where she always was: near enough for comfort, but never any closer. But, unexpectedly, his eyes sought hers out as he walked regally down the aisle. His eyes asked for her smile, the smile that she reserved just for him, the one he said made him feel relaxed and right with the world, the one that would put all of his doubts and (surprisingly) fears to rest.

And like always, she never denied him anything.

And so she smiled like she had never smiled before, trying desperately for something genuine, but knowing in her heart, that with that smile, she was condemning herself – sealing away hope and throwing away the key.

And she hoped that it would be enough. She hoped that it was enough that she was sacrificing her happiness for his, for his second chance. She hoped and prayed that this would be the last thing he asked of her, because she knew that short of her life, she had nothing left to give him.

And so she smiled, and his face relaxed, and the door to her soul closed with a heart-wrenching and ominous click.

TO BE CONTINUED

WELL, that is the end of the first chapter.

Remember this is the first chapter, so there is a long way to go – if you remember the summary, you should know that I will not be leaving the pairing (Neji/Sakura) as it stands. I hate that pairing, but it works for the sake of plot and movement.

This is my baby, so please be nice. I've been working on this for a long time, but if you don't like it, don't just flame me, but tell me what went wrong.

OK, well, now I shall answer the little "what the fuck?" questions you all have on certain aspects of the plot and characterization.

"But compared to her suffering, he was like a child crying over a lost lollipop, while his mother was being violently abused." Ok, I'll admit that this is a little… strong of a comparison, but I was striving for a stark contrast. I am not implying that the grief that Lee goes through is a trivial as a "child crying over a lost lollipop," or that Tenten's predicament is akin to a "mother being violently abused." In my mind, because Lee did everything he could to win Sakura's attention, short of becoming a very emo child, his grief is not the same as Tenten's, because in his mind, he did not fail, she (Sakura) simply chose someone else – he could not control her personal preference or her decisions. Therefore, while he may not fully accept her decision, his mind and psyche does not have the added weight of those terrible "what if's." However, unlike Lee, Tenten does have that extra "weight," and therefore, her grief and suffering seems greater – not more important, just simply greater.

'You brought this on yourself.' Ok, so the way that this is worded, it sounds like it was solely Tenten fault; this is definitely not what I meant. I only meant that, you have to admit, there is a certain frustration associated with the whole Tenten/Neji relationship. I love them and the dynamics of their relationship, but being forever caught in a timeless frame of friendship, gets somewhat frustrating after a while. That is why I like to write about the progression of their relationship – it makes not only them, but their relationship seem more real. That is all that I meant – not that somehow their relationship wasn't supposed to happen.

'That's why she succeed. Not because she wormed her way into his heart, not because he found solace in her flighty, moth-like demeanor' Well, the emphasis is on my description of Sakura's behavior. Now, when I wrote this, I was referring to her behavior before her "transformation," or at least before the Chuunin Exams. I actually do really like a strong Sakura, not to the point that she is like "Rawr! I am kunochi," but just a…stronger one. So, in this story, please think of Sakura as a battle-hardened medic-nin, but not to the point that she has the intensity that I characterize Tenten with. That is, please don't assume that I will make Sakura as strong in character as Tenten. I definitely see a difference in their personalities – while both are hardened, they deal with different aspects of death, one being a shinobi (realize that I use shinobi, and not kunochi), and one being a medic-nin.

Lee's very uncharacteristic bitter tone. Ok, so I really hate a week Lee. I do not see him as a character that that would just simply grieve over Tenten and Neji's relationship, but a person who would be quite angry at their… "progression," or more importantly, lack thereof. Just like me, I see him becoming quite frustrated, and that is the reason for his bitter tone.