-1Sorting

You may not think I'm pretty;

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll give you a slap you scandalous brat,

Or I'll set my hounds a-free.

Oh and I'll even eat myself! If you can find,

A better hat than me!

There is nothing in your head,

The sorting hat cannot see,

That boy you thought was super fit,

Or porn on BBC!

So try me on and I will see,

Where your meant to be.

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the "out of mind"

Their daring suicide and chivalry,

Is in Gryffindor you'll find.

You might belong in hufflepuff,

Who have no real special ways,

Those thick headed Hufflepuffs are true,

And unaware of days!

Or yet in wise old raven claw,

"Boffin" comes to mind.

Where those of wit and learning,

Swot up their massive minds.

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You will make your real friends.

Those twisted turds use any means,

To achieve their ends.

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't you go and cry!

You're in safe hands (though I have none.)

For I'm a bloody rude guy