Gravitation

Title: Makeikusa (Lost Cause)

Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation no matter how much I want to 3

Chapter 1: Kodoku (Lonely)

Shuuichi's POV

It's already been a year and a half since Yuki has agreed to let me live with him. He doesn't kick me out as often as he use to but when he does, he knows where to find me. He goes to Hiro's place to bring me back if I take longer then usual. I guess it's because he's worried that I might leave him and he doesn't want me to, which shows that he loves me even though he doesn't say it. The past few days he's been unusually nice. Don't get me wrong, I like it and all but it's kind of scary. Yuki's finally opening up to me, yay!

However, it didn't last too long. He was being nice to me and then all of a sudden, he started acting like his old self but worse if possible. He's colder, gets annoyed easily, ignores me more than usual, and he gets home so late. When he gets home, he goes right to bed and if not, he goes into his study to finish his book. Yuki only acts this way when he's stressed out about meeting a deadline but this time it's different. When he gets home he smells like sake and cigarettes. I hardly get to spend anymore time with him and each time I ask him, he says he's busy or too tired and doesn't want to. Even when he's not busy, he says he wants to sleep but then leaves to go somewhere else. I hate when he starts ignoring me like this. I wonder what came over him so suddenly, it's worrying me.

I can't go to Hiro because ever since Ayaka-chan agreed to go out with him, he's been so busy and caught up in his own life. Hiro doesn't realize when I'm sad or that I haven't been as much a cry baby as I used to be. I'm happy for Hiro that he got a girlfriend but it's kind of lonely without having my best friend to talk to. I have no one to talk to other then Hiro. Sure, there's K-san, Sakano-san, and Fujisaki-kun, but there not that close to me as Hiro was. Ever since Yuki decided to let me stay with him, Tohma-san has been much nicer and we've been on friendlier terms. Tohma-san is probably the only one left for me to talk to since he and Yuki knew eachother for a long time and now we're closer as well. But then again, it kind of frightens me to talk to Tohma-san about Yuki because if something happens to Yuki he won't forgive me and then I won't know what to do.

Yuki's POV

That damn brat just won't leave me alone. He complains and cries endlessly no matter what I do. When I try to make him happy he cries more than when I'm being mean to him. I can't stand it. I need a break from him. I've been going out more and staying out later just to try and avoid him. I don't have a deadline, but I'm writing this book that I really want to finish and get published next to see how fast it'll sell out and what my fans will think of it. I don't want Shuuichi to know about it among some other things, but if he doesn't learn to give me the space that I need, he might stumble upon something I don't want him to know. Maybe I'm being meaner than usual but it's not like he will realize it.

Shuuichi's POV Again

I try my best to stay up as late as possible waiting for Yuki to get home so we can at least eat together, but I can't stay up too late because I have work the next morning. I wish Yuki would at least wake me up when he gets home to let me know that he's there, but Yuki isn't like that. The last thing he'd want to do is let me know he's home, worried that I would start annoying him.

Then one day he came home early and probably didn't expect to see me home so early because of the expression on his face. "YUUUUKIIIII!glomps Yuki I got out of work early today because K-san never showed up and Tohma-san let us go home early so I decided to be here in case you got home early too. Isn't it great? We got the whole day to ourselves." "I'm busy so don't bother me." Yuki said to me angrily without even looking at me. Mumbling under his breath, I could hear him say, "I'm going to kill Tohma for this." and walked to the study slamming the door behind him. What's wrong with him? Why is Yuki acting like this to me?

Later that day, I peeped into the study to see if he was still awake. "Yuki? You awake?" I whispered. No answer. So I went in and found him sitting at the desk typing on his laptop. "Yuki! I didn't know you had another deadline to meet." Upon seeing him typing, I felt relieved that he was only pushing me away because he needed to meet a deadline. But I was wrong. "I don't have another deadline. Why are you in here? You know not to bother me when I'm in here." Yuki yelled at me. I tried to pretend like it didn't bother me, but it did. "I just wanted to see if you were awake." "If you want to know if I'm hungry, I'm not. I'm busy, now go away." Yuki told me, getting angrier. "If you don't have a deadline coming up, why are you in here all the time typing away? I just wanted to spend some time with you! We haven't spent any time together for so long." I said, the tears now threatening to come from my eyes. Even though I wasn't crying yet you could tell that Yuki's coldness was bothering me. I think he noticed, he had to. Yuki didn't seem to care though since he hadn't said anything about it or try to cheer me up or even saying sorry.

Yuki's coldness is nothing new to me. It's just that he's colder now. Is he hiding something from me?If he is, what is it? Now, I'm just standing behind him, quietly thinking to myself, waiting for an answer. He's probbly okay with me staying in here since he still hasn't kicked me out yet. If he doesn't answer me, I can probably risk asking Tohma-san. After all, he might know something and if not, he's the only one who's able to get something out of anyone especially Yuki. "Why are you still here?" Yuki's icy cold voice startled me out of my thoughts. If he's going to refuse to answer me, it probably does mean he's hiding something and has a reason why he doesn't want me know. "Yuki, I'm worried about you. Please! Tell me why you're acting this way towards ME all of a sudden." I asked again another question I know I won't receive an answer to, as I put my hands on Yuki's shoulders. He must be pissed at me for something because of the expression on his face. He unexpectedly and probably not purposely, elbowed me in the stomach. I fell back and coughed up blood. Knowing him and his cold personality, it could've possibly been done on purpose more than an accident. I looked up at him, tears stinging the edge of my eyes, threatening to roll down my cheeks. This time I couldn't hold them back and I began to cry. I clenched my heart since it was in more pain due to mental pain. The physical pain from my stomach didn't hurt me as much. I cried a painful cry, not my usual cry baby cry. No, it was serious this time. It was clearly visible how much he had hurt me this time.

"Shuuichi, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you." Yuki said, offering a hand to help me up. I sat there and stared at him with a frightened look in my eyes. "Don't give me that crap! You don't give a damn about me. You never did and probably never will. You always say you're sorry, but you never mean it. You're probably thinking ' I finally gave that damn annoying brat what he deserved.' If I'm that annoying, you should've told me and kicked me out instead of waiting until I got serious. Why don't you just tell me you that you hate me!" I couldn't look at him. I turned my face away from him. "I know you're hiding something from me. You don't...Tell me anything... Anymore. What did... I do to deserve... This?" I whispered in chocked sobs. Yuki got on the floor and moved closer to try and put his arms around me in an attempt to comfort me. I slapped his hands away without hesitation. "Leave me alone! I don't want to take this from you anymore. One minute you're nice, the next you're so cold. It's all phony." I knew that this was just an act. I'm not going to let him take advantage of me any longer. If I leave, he'll be happier and I'll probably be happier if I find someone who can treat me better.

With that being the last thing said, I ran to my room and locked the door. Over night I tried to be as quiet as possible. I packed all of my belongings into as little bags as possible so that I wont have to carry that much. For most of the night, Yuki has been banging on the door telling me to open it. But I was too afraid to open the door and let him in, so I didn't. The next morning, I left early so that Yuki wouldn't be awake and I could get out without having to face him. After I got out of the house avoiding Yuki, I went to Hiro's place. "Hiro, could you let me stay for a few days? Just until I find my own place. Please?" "Sure. But why are you looking for you're own place? If Yuki kicked you out again, he's going to come for you eventually." Hiro asked. "This time is different. I left him. If he does come here to find me, could you tell him I'm not here and you don't know where I live?" I asked him merely above a whisper. In a shocked voice, Hiro told me, "I can't believe you're finally going to give up on him. I guess you finally realize you deserve better. You can count on me anytime."

Yuki's POV

The morning after the brat locked himself in his room, I went to check on him to see if he was feeling better and if we could talk. But when I went to his room, the door was opened, revealing an empty room. Shuuichi and all of his things were gone. The first thing I tried to do was call his cell phone. No answer, it just kept ringing. It was clear that he didn't want to speak to me. I thought it was better this way. I wouldn't have to put up with the crying and screaming anymore. Eventually he would come home on his own. But I was wrong. days, no weeks went by, and he hasn't called or come to stop by even once. So, I decided to call Tohma to see if Shuuichi was there. Tohma told me that Shuuichi nor Hiro hasn't been to work for the past two weeks. From that, I knew that Shuuichi was staying at Hiro's. I went to his house and demanded to see that damn brat. He told me he wasn't there but I didn't believe him. So, I went in his house but Shuuichi really wasn't at his place. "Where is he?" I demanded. "I don't know. I haven't spoken to him for awhile ever since he stopped showing up to work for the past two weeks."

A few days after that, Tohma called me and asked me if I knew what happened to Shuuichi or if I knew where he was. Of course I don't know where he is. No one does. That damn brat, making everyone worry. I can't believe he just left without a word to anyone. The last thing he said was to me. He also left a note for me saying not to follow him. He's starting to worry me. Later on in the day, Tohma stopped by to tell me that Shuuichi quit the band and he wanted to know why he was doing this all of a sudden. Tohma wanted to know exactly what happened between us. I told him it wasn't that big a deal and that I was happy now that he's gone and out of my life. But then Tohma said it is a big deal if he disappeared and quit the band. It didn't matter to me so I tried to avoid the topic.