A/N: Okay, so my friends and I were talking about how in the play, without the background context of the book, and also the behind the scenes book called the Grimmerie, the 'Wonderful' scene is kind of, well, random. Elphaba just abruptly goes over to the Wizard's side. So I decided to write a random fanfiction about it. This is chapter 1, I don't know if I'll continue…
Disclaimer: Not mine. The dialogue is, except Elphaba's speech near the end, is not mine either, but from the play.
I'm not going crazy, I tell myself. I'm talking to myself, but that doesn't mean I'm crazy. I have a right to be crazy, anyway.
Three years. I haven't spoken to anyone in three years, until Nessa and Boq an hour ago, and look how well that turned out. Another casualty of these cursed powers…poor, poor Boq. They were the first people I had talked to since I left Glinda here, in the Emerald City. In three years, I haven't felt a human touch.
Silently, I place my broomstick against the great golden Oz-head, trying not to lose myself in memories of the young, naïve, innocent- yes, happy, even- girl I was the last time I was here. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just a girl, still, a bit more naïve than I ought to be, despite everything. I feel like crying- I'm only twenty-one and this is my life. I have barely spoken in three years. My voice would be awful and raspy with disuse if I hadn't kept it alive by singing some stupid song about rainbows that I made up once. I'd die if anyone knew, isn't that silly? I'm a wanted 'criminal,' a 'terrorist,' a wicked freaking witch, and I'm worried about people hearing me sing. Perverse things, people.
Focus, Elphaba, focus. I am going crazy. Shut up, Elphie, the monkeys, the monkeys. Find them. I turn and suddenly-
"I knew you'd be back," the voice booms from the great head, nearly giving me a heart attack. I clutch my ears at the sudden onslaught of sound. The Wizard steps out from the great head, and I find myself wondering what his real name is. I know all too well what it is to lose your name, to become a sort of symbol, an empty caricature, one-dimensional. To most of Oz, I am not Elphaba Thropp, shy, awkward, green girl who reads and talks too much, with her little sarcastic defense mechanism. I am the Wicked Witch of the West, source of all evil in Oz- the scapegoat, I think, remembering Dr. Dillamond's lessons.
"Hear me out, I never meant to harm you," the Wizard says lamely. Oh, that's rich.
"Well, you have, you have harmed me," I tell him. My head is throbbing and I am on the edge of tears. I can't help it. How dare he? How could he stand there having done this to me- taken my friend, my love, my LIFE from me- and tell me he didn't mean it. Too damn bad, it happened whether he meant it or not, and he did it.
"I realize that, and I regret it, Elphaba." Well, I don't care how much he regrets it.
"I'm setting these monkeys free and don't try to interfere, or call the guards," I tell him. At least once they're free I'll have redeemed some small part of that mistake- maybe even have someone to talk to, even if they never learn to talk back…God, I'm pathetic.
"I'm not calling anyone. The truth is, I'm glad you're here. I get pretty lonely, and I know you must get lonely too."
What is he, reading my mind? I shudder involuntarily, and even though he's right, I shoot off my mouth.
"You don't know the first thing about me," I say tightly.
"Oh, but I do. I do know you. I can't explain it exactly, you know what I mean? Elphaba- you've been so strong through all of this. Aren't you tired of being the strong one? Wouldn't you like someone to take care of you?"
Oh, yes, yes, more than anything. I am just so tired, so tired of fighting so hard, of looking over my shoulder every second in case some Gale Force guard catches sight of me…
"Please, help me start again," says the Wizard. But you can't just go back in time.
"Don't you think I wish I could? That I could go back to the time when I really believed you were wonderful? The Wonderful Wizard of Oz," I say sarcastically, bitterly. "Nobody believed in you more than I did, nobody!" I cry, angrily. "I thought you could fix everything…thought you could help me fit in, make everyone in Oz love me, or at least accept me…but you've made it worse! Everyone hates me! Nobody has touched me- no one so much as brushed up against me accidentally- in three years! I'm twenty-one years old! I was in love! I had a best friend! My sister at least didn't hate me! I had school, I had a life- and now look at me!" I am hysterical, crying and screaming, and it feel so good just to be loud, to make noise!
"You told me you loved making people happy!" I yell. "Despite being green, I was happy! For the first time, I was happy, and you destroyed it!" I can't stand up anymore. I collapse to my knees, sobbing.
"I can't fight you anymore," I whisper.