Sammy's English Journal

Today is a Monday. Tomorrow I will be nine years old. Tommy Williams is teasing me again, like he does every morning.

Today's Topic Is: The Most Interisting Thing I Learned In School This Year

I don't know what is the most interisting thing I learned in school this year, Miss White. We learned so much its hard to tell.

Write interesting, not interisting , and though, not tho

Yes, Miss White, I understand that I need to write more than two sentences in my journal. Thank you for telling me how to spell hard words, and thank you also for telling me how its easier to think of something that happened this week.

Today is a Monday. It is ate in the morning. We did not learn anything this week. The first thing we do every day is write in our journals.

Eight, not ate. This is too short, Samantha. You will have to finish your journal for homework, and this time make it longer. If you don't know a word you can look it up in the dictionary.

This is my homework. Tonight is also Monday. The most interesting thing I learned in school last week is that lots of people can get amneesha at the same time. Amneesha is when you forget something and can't remember it.

After I went to the bathroom the whole class forgot about how Sarah Bennett's and Emily Smith's and Lizzie Goodman's teeth grew after they teased Hermione Granger. I tried to figure out how it had happened, like Sherlock Holmes, and I think I have a theory.

I mean a theory about how the teeth grew, not how everyone forgot. Everyone forgot because they got amneesha.

Anyway, I think Hermione Granger did it, because Sarah and Emily and Lizzie were teasing her and if I was her and I knew how to make them ugly I would have done it, too. So she has a Motive, like the other criminals in detective stories, except I don't think there is a law against making teeth bigger.

Also, in Show and Tell she told everyone her parents are dentists, and dentists probably know how to grow teeth. My big brother told me that Dr. Beth Morse the dentist would make me get cavities because she wants to pull all my teeth out for her collection, and if dentists can do that they wouldn't have any problem growing a few teeth.

They probably use something like uranium, which makes people mutate and gives fish three eyes and stuff. Hermione Granger's the only one smart enough to do something like that, and like I said, she has a Motive.

I don't think she really knows how to do it properly, though, because Sarah and Emily and Lizzie had normal teeth when I came back from the bathroom. But I know it really did happen even if no one else does, because their eyes were still all red and swollen from when they were crying because they thought they were ugly like Hermione Granger.

I'm not sure if Hermione Granger got amneesha like everyone else, but she looked confused after I came back from the bathroom.

I also know it happened because you sent the Hall Monitor Monitor from class 4B for the nurse when the teeth started growing, and I remember how he was confused because you wouldn't tell him why you needed a nurse. That was when I looked at Sarah and Emily and Lizzie and saw how they already looked like beavers and their teeth were still growing and I felt sick and asked to leave to go to the bathroom.

The nurse came in after I came back, and you said you hadn't sent anybody, and the Hall Monitor from class 4B got in big trouble for telling lies. But really you did tell him to get the nurse.

That wasn't the only thing everyone got amneesha about. You also got amneesha about the class visitor. I can't tell you about that though, because I only saw the principal show him our classroom when I was in the hallway headed to the bathroom.

I really wanted to follow him, because he looked really strange, wearing a purple coat and a yellow tie and even a Scottish kilt! He had this funny-looking, stick, too, and he was waving it around at people. I thought he might be one of those music conductors, because my Mum told me a lot of them are "eccentric", which my brother said is another word for crazy.

So I really wanted to see the crazy music guy, but I still felt sick and I didn't want to throw up on him, because than he might get mad, and I already know you're not supposed to make crazy people mad because then they might attack you.

I still wanted to see him though, because Tommy Williams was annoying me, and I know Tommy wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut about the kilt and I wanted to see him get attacked. Then maybe I could trip the crazy guy and save him and he wouldn't tease me anymore.

So while I was thinking about how grateful Tommy would be when I saved him I went and splashed some water on my face really quick, so I'd feel better and could see the conductor guy without throwing up on him. I must have took too long, though, because by the time I came back he was gone.

And then all the excitement was over, and everything was boring, except when the nurse came in and the Hall Monitor got in trouble, like I said before.

But anyway, last week I learned about amneesha, which is really weird. The End.

See me after class.