Crack!fic ahoy, my darlings. Also, slash, incest, sex with demonic beings, angst, stupidity, and really pretentious language. I'm updating the next chapter in a day or so, but after that, I don't know when I'll write more, so please don't bug me about it. kthnxbye.

Part One

There were a lot of things that Sam knew about Dean. Dean knew that if you asked his brother, Sam would say that he knew everything about Dean, that Dean was an open book, that he never kept secrets, not from his family. Like Dean would never be complicated, never have depths and darknesses, never be a real person.

But Sam didn't know everything.

He didn't know about what had happened in the two years that Sam had been away at Stanford. He didn't know about the battle that Dean had waged, almost entirely on his own, for nine bloody months. He didn't know about the deal that Dean had made to end it. He didn't know that Dean enjoyed it.

"So where are we headed next?" Sam wanted to know.

"Why you asking me?" Dean said sharply.

"Well, you've been pouring over that map for the last two hours," Sam pointed out. "I just figured you'd caught us a case."

"Something like that," Dean said, and closed the map book shut with a snap. "But you're right about one thing. I do know where we're going."

"And that is?" Sam asked, with exaggerated patience. Dean favored him with a pointy-toothed smile.

"You'll see when we get there, won't you?"

If Sam hadn't volunteered to summon Bloody Mary, Dean would have. He'd never killed anyone. But it was definitely true that he had a secret, and someone had died.

Sam had never asked why his eyes had bled when she'd crawled from the mirror. Probably assumed that it was just an affect of her manifestation. Dean was grateful for that. It was like Sam said- "You're my brother, and I'd die for you, but there are some things I need to keep for myself."

Ashodeus was one of those things.

"Dean, it's not funny anymore," Sam said sharply from the passenger seat. "Where are we going?"

"It's not supposed to be funny," Dean said. "It's supposed to be private. Unfortunately, we only have one car, so privacy goes out the window, is that it?"

"So it's not a case," Sam said. "If it's not a case, then what is it?"

"None of your business," Dean said. "It's personal."

"You actually have a personal life?" Sam asking, sounding way too dumfounded for Dean's rising temper. "Whoa. Since when?"

"Since September of '04, dickwad. Now lay off and let me drive, would you?"

"What happened in September of '04?" Sam persisted, strengthening Dean's conviction that his brother was a Fucking Moron.

"You'd think that you'd have learned when to leave well enough alone, college boy, but apparently not. So I'll say it clearer. Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

"Fine, whatever," Sam said with a shrug, sinking a little farther into his seat. "You're the one who wants to save the world, anyway."

Dean didn't bother to answer. He had bigger things to worry about.

Ashodeus was the demon of lust and intoxication, named for the fallen angel known for the same qualities. Ashodeus also had a nasty habit of appearing in bridal suites and strangling bridegrooms on their wedding nights, and that was what actually caught Dean's attention.

It was two days after Christmas and Sam hadn't come home from his first semester at Stanford, hadn't even bothered to send a card. So Dean grabbed his car and headed out for the first case he could find, which, unfortunately, turned out to be Ashodeus.

He'd thought it was just a simple haunting. He wouldn't realize his mistake till almost two weeks later, and by then, he'd caught Ashodeus' attention, and it was far, far too late.

"Reno?" Sam said incredulously. "Please tell me you we're just here for gas, or something."

"No, this is it," Dean said. "We won't be here long, don't worry."

"Dude, you dragged me halfway across the country so you could gamble?" Sam said incredulously. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"I'm not here for the slot machines, Sammy."

"It's Sam."

"What-the-fuck-ever. I'm here for a meet, alright? Will you get off my case now?"

"With who?"

"With no one you know or ever will know," Dean said. "I'm gonna drop you off at the motel and I'll be back just after dawn. Don't come looking for you or I will make damn sure you will regret it. Am I clear?"

"Yes massah," Sam said sarcastically. "God forbid I ignore one of your orders."

"Can we not go over that again?" demanded Dean, whose chest still hurt from the shotgun blast three weeks earlier. "Can we just get this over with and get the hell out of this place?"

Sam looked at him with something like real concern for the first time. "Seriously, Dean, what the hell's up? You drove here like you had a firecracker up your ass and now it's like you don't even want to be here."

"I don't," Dean admitted. "And I do."

"Well, that explains a lot," Sam said. "Not."

"It's the best I've got, Sammy," he said, and then pulled into the motel parking lot before Sam could correct him about the name. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Sam stared at him for a minute, then shrugged and said, "Alright." Dean watched him get his duffel out of the trunk and walk into the motel office. As soon as he was sure that Sam was safe, he put the car in gear and drove off.

He had to hurry. The sun was almost past the horizon, and he definitely didn't want to be late.

Ashodeus was a slave to his own sex drive, and unapologetic about the fact. Dean found him and, thinking he was a ghost, tried to chase him off with nothing more than a shotgun filled with rock salt. Ashodeus had laughed in his face and went to rip his throat out. Dean had responded by desperately tossing a bottle of holy water in his face and running like hell.

Ashodeus had gotten interested in him then, had tracked him from town to town for months, leaving a trail of dead bodies behind him while Dean worked desperately to figure out who was doing this to him. When he figured it out he stopped and waited for Ashodeus to come to him.

That fight had not ended well, but at least he hadn't lost. Exactly. It had been the first of hundreds of smaller fights, spanning over six months and thousands of miles, with the balance of the wins spread evenly between them. The longer Ashodeus stayed in the human realm the closer to human he physically became, and without his demonic strength Dean was a fair match for him.

The collateral damage kept climbing, though, because Ashodeus wasn't afraid to kill a bystander in order to score a point, and Dean was so damn exhausted that he couldn't always save them.

He was exhausted, constantly nursing some sort of injury, and heartsick. Ashodeus wasn't much better, because as he turned further human, human emotion started to seep into him, and his killing ways were beginning to get to him almost as much as they did to Dean. It was inevitable that they would both reach a breaking point, and that breaking point happened to occur in Reno.

Ashodeus wanted Dean, and wasn't going to give up till he'd gotten him. And though Dean had had it drummed into him since childhood that demons were evil and could never be trusted and never, ever make a deal with them, he was weak and Ashodeus was, whatever his faults, inhumanly beautiful.

And so a deal was struck.

The sun was just slipping below the horizon when Dean pulled into the parking lot of the Peppermill Resort Hotel Casino. He wove his way through the glittering casino below, completely ignoring the hundreds of slot machines in every direction, and went straight for the elevator.

Sixth floor, sixty-sixth room. Ashodeus was a traditionalist.

He knocked.

The door opened immediately. The first thing Dean's tired eyes saw was the flash of white, white teeth in a bright smile, and then the reflected happiness in his inhumanly green eyes.

"I was almost worried that you would be late, my Eden," Ashodeus said. "I am glad to see that you are not."

"I know," Dean said, and stepped into the room, not bothering to shut the door. Ashodeus immediately wrapped long arms around him, and Dean fell gratefully into the warmth of his embrace, into the press of flesh that had been heated by the fires of hell. Ashodeus was not human, wasn't even close, no matter how human he appeared, and Dean didn't care. This was his comfort, and he would take comfort where comfort was available to be taken. And Ashodeus, well, he was always happy to be taken.

Dean tilted his head back and smiled tiredly. Ashodeus was as tall as Sam, and he'd never noticed that detail before. But Ashodeus was as fair as Sam was dark, and right now, Dean was grateful for that.

"Hello, Ash," he said, and Ash smiled back, and kissed him.

"Hello to you as well, my Eden," Ash whispered against his mouth, and gently closed the door.