sorry guys, the ideas are slowly trickling down the paper for Parenting Skills part deux. It's still in my computer I just need a good reason besides ANOTHER love rectangle to post it up.
Rated M for cussing and words such as sex and boobs. There I got it out of the way.
I don't own Naruto, my brain doesn't have the capacity to think of something so complicated.
I Caught Myself A Ninja
'Ugh' my legs, they're achin'. What the hell was I doing last night? Too much footsies under the table. I can't roll over. Yes, my training was too much last night. I feel heavy. Wait a minute now I remember I went drinking.
Don't tell me...I probably know what happened. I went with a guy, what I usually do when I go drinking, and then take his money after I knocked him out.
Guess this plan backfired or something because there's a hand on my breast and a head on my chest. Forget about the rhyming, no wonder I feel heavy. I finally open my eyes.
The step before panicking is to figure out where the hell you are and how the hell you got there, analyze the situation. I'm in a man's room; I sure as hell don't take them to my place. I wouldn't know where to dump the bodies when I ko'ed them.
I caught a young one, probably around my age, cause I didn't feel no facial hair or any beer belly…Damn, I caught myself a ninja.
I saw his kunai pouch beside my or his pillow. I got up slowly, took his hand off me, and slowly rolled? nope. This one was a clinger, okay, so he was off my chest but now on my stomach. I seriously was naked; I hope I didn't have sex with this guy. Analyze some more I guess. This could take awhile.
Two doors to my left, a closet and window to my right. His room was strangely clean. Maybe he was gay? Or bisexual. I hope I didn't catch anything.
Where are my clothes?
There was my bra on the floor and…this fool broke my bra strap! I soon found the rest of my clothes lying in tatters. He just ripped everything off! What have I gotten myself into?
So far I caught myself a sex-addicted, clothes rippin' ninja. He's probably even an S and M freak. Damn, damn, and double damn!
Okay no time to panic. He's waking up. Be polite, we don't want him turnin' out to be a psycho. I...patted his back and I used the pillow to cover my chest. Couldn't cover my bottom, he was sleeping on me. He slowly pushed himself up and rolled back to sit up.
I pulled the blanket on me and, oh no, he appeared to be naked too! He groaned and combed his hair back now that I noticed was dark blue. He glanced at me and I scooted back from him.
"Who are you? And what did you do to me?" I asked him.
He took another glance at me.
"Uchiha Sasuke, you?"
God, sometimes I hate men. Can they at least pretend something major is happening? His reaction to this situation was getting me a little pissed off.
I didn't know whether to lie to him or not. I could but then again he is a ninja. He would see past the lie. That's one of the reasons why I don't date or try to knock out ninjas.
I had no other options besides acting dumb and I wasn't going to act stupid, "I'm Mitsugi Usagi," I didn't offer him my hand.
He got out of bed; I turned the other way as soon as the blanket stopped covering his waist, and started picking up his clothes. I would take a peek at his back now and then. You could tell he worked out. Strong muscular back...What? I can look when he's not looking at me right? Just taking in the sight before I find the bad thing about it. He tossed my clothes at me.
"Um, I can't wear these anymore. Somehow they got ripped," I held up my shirt that looked to be ripped apart by his kunai and my really good pair of undies that I liked ripped at the seams.
Oh yes, who else could've done it? I'm blaming all of this entirely on him.
He finally put some pants on him. He crossed over to his closet and got out some of his clothes. Looked like he doesn't shop too much. They were all the same. He walked back to me and handed them to me personally. I didn't mind if he threw or tossed them at me. As long as I didn't have to see him shirtless some more.
"Thanks, can you uh leave the room?"
He left without a word and entered the bathroom. I got up quickly and immediately fell with a thump. I used the bed as support and sat down again. My legs seriously weren't working. Like running 10 miles and doing an extra one, over-working legs that you might collapse cause your legs were so tired.
His shirt with the high collar was really large. At least it wasn't small where everyone could see my chest. I looked in his bedside drawer and found what I've been looking for. Wraps to bind my chest. Ah don't look, they're an okay average size for a lady like me. I usually bind them up if I'm going to go and fight but I guess they will serve their purpose as a make shift binding bra. Now I look more like a man, ha. I rolled the short pants up.
There we go, this is as manliest that I could get. The Uchiha guy came out of the bathroom. He looked more serious now. The silence was killing me when he just started staring at me.
"Guess you can't remember last night either," I said casually.
"No."
"I don't know if we did it or not," his brows slightly rose at that part, "but are you some kind of pervert?" now he slightly gaped.
"I'm not a pervert," he crossed his arms. A stubborn one.
"Well how else do my clothes get ripped to shreds? It's not for style and I don't think there was a third person in here either."
"Well then maybe we did do it," he started smirking. Why the hell was he smirking? Was this another point on his sex list or what?
I glared at him, "If we did, you better make sure you find that damn condom then. If not, you're going to be in a world of hurt where you don't have to think about little Uchiha's again," I threatened him.
He took my threat and flipped the blankets off of the bed. Damn it. There was the condom lying at the edge of the bed. It was used. It was…ugh filled. I looked at him. He was looking at me with a pale face. Wonder why he looks shocked.
Why. That. Little. I grabbed the lamp on the drawer and threw it at him.
"You bastard!"
He merely swatted the lamp to the side with it breaking.
"Why are you looking at me like that? Did I take away your virginity or something?" I smirked when he looked away.
Sasuke what shall I ever do with you? Humiliate yourself or try to hone your skills in the Art of Doing 'It'? Thanks R&R!