A/N: This is the first installment in a demented little team 7 universe my brain is creating, but this is not a team 7 fic. Go figure.
Warnings: This fic deals with a sexual relationship (edited to fit TOS) between Kakashi and a 15/16ish Sakura. Don't read if it's not your thing.
Spoilers: through chapter 247
Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, not me. u.u

Shotaiken
Chapter 1: And It All Comes Crashing Down

Her feet moved on their own accord down the dirt road away from Hokage tower. She… hell, she wasn't sure WHAT she felt at that moment. There were too many emotions swirling around inside her. Anger, disillusion, fear even. But mostly, there was disbelief.

Prince Charming on a white horse, the perfect man, the perfect romance. It was all a bunch of crap, nothing more than wild stories to entertain children and shelter them from the harsh reality of life.

Sakura wasn't a child anymore, and she had stopped believing in fairy tales the day she told Sasuke she loved him and he'd left her unconscious on a bench. Love certainly didn't conquer all, and it was ridiculous to think it could live up to such expectations.

Why did they even bother telling fairy tales in a hidden shinobi village in the first place? One could easily argue that shinobi never really were children after all. They certainly didn't stay that way for long. Innocence was an endangered commodity amongst even the young ninja.

All things considered, though, Sakura had still clung to the belief that one particular aspect of her innocence would be exempt from the village's servitude. Sure, she knew eventually…. But they were vague references at best, and she'd assumed that she'd be jounin before ever having to worry about it. Or at least older.

But then again, how often did mission rank suddenly change due to unexpected circumstances?

She eyed the scroll in her hand warily before stuffing it into her rump sack. The mere sight of it was enough to make her stomach churn and her head swim.

Why hadn't someone warned her?

As she brushed her displaced hair out of her eyes, the sign for the pub across the street caught her attention. She considered it briefly before deciding it was just what she needed at that moment, and bartender be damned if he wanted to fuss about her age!

She entered the dimly lit establishment and immediately took a seat at the bar as she tried to ignore the stale air tinged with cigarette smoke. The bartender gave her a questioning look until he noticed the leaf headband holding her hair back and nodded. It was one of the unspoken agreements within the village that shinobi did not follow the usual laws regarding age limits. So long as they appeared adult enough, most places looked the other way.

"What'll you have?"

"I don't care as long as it's strong," she replied, trying to sound like this wasn't her first time ordering a drink as she laid a few bills on the bar. He only raised an eyebrow as he poured her a shot of something transparent. She quickly tossed it back and nearly choked when it felt as if the alcohol were burning completely through her esophagus. After a brief moment or two of fighting the urge to cough with every ounce of strength in her body, she nodded and rasped, "Another please." He shook his head, whether in disbelief or amusement she wasn't sure, but complied before tending to other customers and leaving her alone with her thoughts.

Sakura quickly consumed that one as well, hoping it would take effect soon. She sat there staring at the empty glass in her hand as the effort to keep her worries at bay failed. She really wanted to scream and punch something. Repeatedly.

Why hadn't someone told her?

No one ever told her what it really meant to be a kunoichi. Not before she joined the academy. Not in any of the classes there. Not even after graduating from the academy. Not once had anyone told her the extent to which she might be a tool for the village.

And they all knew. Her parents, her instructors, every little person along the way who helped guide her on her path to becoming a ninja.

Not one of them told her she'd be in this situation, except Hokage-sama. Tsunade never was one to sugar coat things and for that at least she was grateful. While everyone else pretended there wasn't even an issue to deal with, her mentor laid it all out there for her.

This morning she'd told her, "Interrogation is not the only way to get information from someone nor is it always the best method to use. This is part of it. Comes with the territory. You may or may not ever find yourself in a position where you might need to, but it would be in your best interest to be prepared for the possibility. All ninja should know how to use every tool at their disposal, and this is no different. It just happens to be an area where women have an advantage."

Sakura had stood in front of the hokage's desk and just nodded mutely as she tried to not look utterly horrified.

"I'm telling you this now, because as a chuunin you'll be taking C and B rank missions. But you know as well as I do that mission rank is not absolute. The possibility is there, and I don't want you to be caught unprepared."

Sakura had nodded again, remembering team seven's first mission outside Konoha and how ugly it had gotten. The expression on the older woman's face turned to one of concern.

"I also know how sentimental you tend to be." The statement hung in the air, implying so much more. It was as much of an 'I understand' as Sakura was going to get.

And the blond really did understand. She had been through it herself after all, but that didn't change the reality of things. As Hokage, her responsibility first and foremost was the protection of the village by any means necessary as it was for all shinobi of Konoha.

A sad little smile graced Tsunade's lips as she had then dug a scroll out of her desk and handed it to her protégé.

"Contained within this scroll is the absolute minimum you need to know about the subject. I expect you to learn it, know it, and preferably practice it. The key is being comfortable enough with yourself and the subject so that if you ever find yourself in that situation, you can use it to your advantage.

"Now obviously, I can't make you do this, but I do recommend it. Just find someone you trust to help you. It may not matter much at the moment, but if they should return, I'd strongly discourage using any of your teammates. Emotions tend to run too high, and I've seen it get ugly a few too many times to condone it. The same thing goes for team leaders. But a boyfriend, a friend… Hell, you can pick up someone from the pub even. That would actually be more like anything you'd run into while on a mission, but if you'd rather ease into it, just find someone you're comfortable with and go from there.

"Also included in the scroll is a jutsu you need to make sure you use beforehand. All the details are in there. Any questions?"

Tsunade watched the blank face in front of her expectantly. "No?" she asked when there was no response. "Okay then. You're dismissed."

Sakura sighed as she absent-mindedly toyed with the empty glass in her hands.

Why hadn't someone warned her of this beforehand? Any childish romantic notions she'd been clinging to had just flown out the window with that one meeting. How could she have been so naïve? And what the hell was she supposed to do now?

Sakura promptly ordered another drink.

A group of men at a nearby table were being overly loud in their appreciation of the newest patron's legs, and it was disturbing the copy-ninja's post-mission wind down. So naturally, Kakashi peeked around his book to see for himself. They were nice legs, he begrudgingly admitted. The problem, though, was to whom they belonged.

'What's she doing here?' he wondered, seeing his underage ex-student sitting at the bar. He'd never seen her in this or any of the other pubs in the village. In fact, he hadn't seen her much at all since team seven had disbanded and the members moved on to new mentors. Since then, he had been spending most of his time on missions. Teaching another team of genin, however unlikely it may be, wasn't something he was quite ready to deal with just yet.

Kakashi, unsure of how many she'd already had before he noticed her, watched as Sakura downed what he had counted as her fourth shot and ordered another one. It wasn't long before she was slumping against the bar.

He sighed. Apparently, she had no plans for stopping anytime soon, and the attention from the neighboring table had yet to cease. Stuffing the latest volume of Icha Icha Violence in his pouch, he wandered over to the bar and took the stool next to hers.

"Funny, I never would've pegged you for a drinker. Is Tsunade-sama rubbing off on you?" he asked, his exposed eye curved in a smile, and laughed when her head snapped toward him in surprise.

"Kakashi-sensei!" She smiled genuinely when she saw him. Even her current mood couldn't sway the happiness at seeing one of the familiar faces she'd been missing over the past two years. It took a moment, but when her inebriated brain finally caught up to his comment, the smile faded a bit. "Uh, I'm not."

"Bad news then?" She nodded but didn't elaborate, and Kakashi appraised her level of sobriety, or lack thereof as it was. Her eyes were glassy, her eyelids were drooping, and her face was slightly flushed. Yes, she was definitely drunk. "Well, I'm sure whatever it is, you'd be better able to deal with it if you could still remember your own name."

She gave him a sad, drunken, and slightly sheepish grin at the reprimand before her thoughts drifted back to the 'what' she'd been trying not to deal with.

"How come no one told me? Why didn't you tell me?" Sakura demanded in a somewhat annoyed tone.

He blinked in confusion. "Tell you what?"

"What is expected of upper level kunoichi." When he continued to just stare at her blankly, she pulled the scroll out of her bag and set it on the bar in front of him. He continued to watch her a moment before he picked it up and opened it.

"Ah," he nodded as understanding hit him. Sakura snorted.

"I understand that we're all just tools of the village. Believe me, I GET it. But when someone advises you to lose your virginity now rather than risk losing it to a mission, I just…. And I see her logic. I do. But damn. It's a lot to swallow, you know?"

Kakashi only nodded, vaguely wishing he'd just stayed at his table. He didn't want to deal with this right now, damn it. He just got back in Konoha and had a lovely day planned none of which included comforting upset teenage girls. Besides, he, Hatake Kakashi, the village pervert, was probably the last person qualified to comfort her on this particular subject. He quickly finished the rest of his drink. He was going to need it.

"She told me to find someone I trust and…. But it shouldn't be a teammate, because it could make things weird. And shit, I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. I must be drunk!" She pinched the bridge of her nose before turning and giving him an apologetic look.

"It's okay. I'm a little drunk myself," he replied with a smile that made her relax just a bit. She wasn't sure if she believed him, but it really didn't matter, she supposed. At least he was there, listening to her whining and not making her feel like a big, dumb baby for being upset over the ordeal.

"I know it's silly, but I had always hoped it would be with Sasuke-kun in some wildly romantic setting, and everything would be perfect."

The expression in his eye was one of concern as he replied in that all-knowing way of his, "Sakura, nothing in life is perfect."

"Yeah, I know," she sighed. "Still, I can't see myself just picking up some random person." She shook her head. "Tsunade-sama said it would be easier if I found someone I trusted, but honestly, the only people I trust enough to even consider are ones I shouldn't do something like that with or ones who probably wouldn't want to anyway."

"Sasuke and Naruto," he nodded knowingly.

"And you," she mumbled almost too quietly for him to hear. She didn't even realize she'd said it out loud until she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and had to do a double take at the openly gawking man next to her. "Shit," she grumbled and beat her head lightly against the bar a couple of times.

Now would be an excellent time to die of an aneurism, she decided. Or be struck by lightning. Or spontaneously combust. All were acceptable choices really.

Kakashi was beyond surprised. Him? She'd really considered him? He had to admit, it was oddly flattering, but the fact that she was almost half his age quickly dispelled that thought. Crap, what was he supposed to say to that? He absently ran his hand through his hair.

"Sakura…" he began, but she waved him off before he could finish.

"It's okay, you don't have to say it. I know. All I meant was that I trust you. I'm comfortable around you. Heh, obviously," she snorted, "since I've just told you more humiliating things in the past five minutes than I think I've told anyone else in my entire life. I know you wouldn't…. Eh, nevermind. Bartender, can I get one more?"

She immediately downed the shot placed in front of her and grimaced. "What would you do if you were me? Because I'm so lost right now. My only choices are so far off limits, and crap! I just… I just don't know."

Her hand trembled slightly as she rolled the empty glass in front of her, and Kakashi was extremely grateful she stopped her rant when she did. He didn't think he could deal with a sobbing, drunk, underage ex-student who apparently found him suitable to deflower her. The rest was clearly enough by itself.

"You don't have to, you know? The chances of it happening on a mission really are slim."

"I know, but slim or not, I refuse to risk having my first time be with some dirty stranger I was sent to squeeze information from!" The look in her eyes told him how serious she was.

"Well, there are plenty of boys in the village. You shouldn't have any trouble finding someone."

"Yeah." Sakura cringed, growing weary of having this particular conversation with him even in her less than sober state. But then an idea hit her that she hadn't considered before, causing her to completely forget any discomfort she felt with the subject matter. The acquisition of information was much more important. "Hey! If the other purpose of this is to learn how to seduce people, would it even be worthwhile to fumble through it with someone just as clueless as I am?"

"Ah, but the fun is in the practice," he replied, earning an embarrassed laugh and a blush from his pink-haired companion. "This scroll is rather detailed anyway. It should give you plenty of ideas," Kakashi added as he closed the scroll and set it back on the bar.

She groaned as she rested her forehead on the cool, wooden surface in front of her. "What am I going to do?" The question was more directed at herself than anything, but Kakashi answered anyway.

"Well, first things first, how about I walk you home? If you don't normally drink, then it won't take too many of these to make you sick." He held up one of her empty shot glasses and shook it faintly. 'And you're going to be humiliated enough once you sober up without the addition of you puking everywhere,' he wanted to add but didn't. She nodded and, grabbing the scroll, slid off the barstool less than gracefully.

Her body was angled weird, and her feet slid out from underneath her as soon as they hit the floor. Luckily, Kakashi caught her elbow and managed to keep her from landing flat on her ass. Reflexively, her hands latched onto anything they could reach which happened to be his green vest.

"Thanks," Sakura groaned in embarrassment as she got her feet back under her.

"Let's just get you home."

She nodded and allowed him to lead her to the door. Kakashi was thankful she did not hear the drunken complaints from the table of men who were clearly misinterpreting the situation.

Once outside, Sakura took a deep breath of smoke-free air and sighed. How people could stand that all the time was beyond her. Kakashi still had one hand on her back and the other holding her elbow as they began their journey down the street.

"I'm not that drunk, you know." She smiled up at him as he relinquished his hold on her arm and slid his hands into his pockets.

"Ah, sorry."

With that, their walk slipped into a comfortable silence with the exception of the slight dragging of her feet. She was too engrossed in her own thoughts to even notice when they finally stopped in front of her house.

"We're here," Kakashi said, startling her out of her introspection.

"Oh. Thanks. I'm sure you have better things to be doing than putting up with me and my fit of drama." She suddenly felt bad for putting him out even though she was extremely grateful to have someone to talk to. He shrugged.

"It's nothing. You should take something now to help with the headache you're probably going to have in a little bit," he replied with a smile. She nodded.

"Okay. Thanks again, sensei." Sakura watched as he pulled out his dirty book and began walking back in the direction they'd come from.

"See you around, Sakura." He waved as he found the page he was looking for.

The pink-haired teen sighed and went in the house. For once she was thankful her parents had taken a vacation for a few days without her. She wasn't really in the mood for answering questions as to what was wrong and why she was drunk. Although Inner Sakura was just itching to tell them in very vivid words how their lack of disclosure was affecting her.

After depositing her sandals at the door, she dragged her lethargic body into the bathroom where she located the aspirin. Cupping faucet water with her hand, she took three of the small pills and splashed her face with water.

"What a shitty day," she mumbled as she shook her head. "I don't even know why I'm surprised. We're paid to weed, protect, and assassinate. Why not whoring as well?" she snorted in disgust as she grabbed the towel off the rack and dried her face.

Sakura glanced through the doorway of her room. Her futon was calling her. The whole ordeal had worn on her nerves so badly. All she wanted to do was curl up and go to sleep. She pulled off her shin guards and collapsed on her bed.

Instead of sleep, though, she did what any girl would do when confronted with the unexpected dissolution of her childhood. She cried.

TBC