A/N: Away from the somber stuff, and back to some funny business... For some reason, Microsoft word wants to correct Kagome into Jamie, I don't really see a connection...But...I'm sure there is one.

Kagome looked from the sidelines; her instincts told her that the alcohol was probably there just for Grandpa to drink, of course, the old man wouldn't admit it, insisting it was "necessary material".

Sota stood beside the pot, stirring mindless, trying not to let the toxic appearing fumes disturb him. At least he didn't react to it as much as Shippou.

Shippou sat at the side, not sure how many percent of last days meals were still in his stomach, and how many percent was down the drain...And not the normal way, either.

Grandpa flipped through his book, he was sure that he had saw the page on how to do this... It wouldn't be long before the youngsters figured out that the pot of boiling goo and alcohol were just decoys... But then again, he could possibly remember by then...Hopefully.

Kaede sneered on the side, she knew the old geezer couldn't do it, that bottle of liquor that came with the guide (remember the Christmas gift?) had no use in magic whatsoever. It wasn't even real liquor, just motor oil made to look like liquor. (Yeah... ;;; They don't like each other... AT ALL.)

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(Meanwhile... Just kilometers away...)

"So, Inuyasha. What have you been up to? Killed anyone lately? Gotten drunk? Stalked anyone? Any gang activity at all?" Kikyo asked, apparently just to annoy Inuyasha.

"Not in this lifetime, witch. How did you get here anyhow? I heard you left for Cuba on a permanent vacation... Sesshomaru normally arranges it so people don't come from those."

"I have my ways... Let's just say the guy who escorted me won't be seeing anyone for a long...long...long...long...lo-"

"Yeah, yeah! I get the point! God, I thought obsessive compulsive disorder was covered by medical insurance."

Inuyasha was actually shocked by this.(Not the obsessive compulsive disorder, the thing about Kikyo being back) People who retire from his brother's gang almost never come back. Almost never... She might have been that slight possibility.

"Well, I couldn't resist coming back to see you... And giving you a surprise." Kikyo smiled.

Inuyasha was surprised all right, and not in a good way.

This would mean he'd have to live up to his promise.

Is she ever wanted it.

He could still remember that day. So fateful.

Back when he was still a member of his brother's gang, before it had gone bad.

He was out doing a deal, when suddenly...

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" You can't be serious about this!"

"I'm more than serious."

"How the hell I'm I going to arrange this?"

"I don't know,do something with someone and it may be arr--

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Inuyasha felt a sharp cracking pain as his face hit the ground, breaking the flashback.

Kikyo looked to her right. Where Inuyasha stood seconds before there was now a hole in the ground. She looked down the hole.

"Inuyasha?"

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Kagome really...really...really...really...really...rea—(sorry about the obsessive compulsive. ) didn't believe that grandpa's spell would work.

She was absolutely right.

After the smoke cleared, it was obvious that Inuyasha was not back, and other than the fact that several members of the household were unconscious, nothing really changed.

It was only on her way to the hospital that she found a much easier way to call Inuyasha back.

"So Grandaunt Kaede, couldn't you have told me this before were blew up the house?"

"Well, I wanted to see what the geezer could come with. I didn't think he was competent enough to do something bad."

"Being destructive requires competence?"

"Absolutely."

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It was somewhat later that Kagome regained enough strength to follow Kaede's instructions.

With one band of sacred beads on her hand, she called out the sacred words. "Sit, boy."

And that's when the destruction of mother earth occurred. (In the form of the hole in the ground.)

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Inuyasha definitely felt that, but he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to return yet.

Of course, a few more falls cured him of that thought.

And falling down branches from the trees that he were moving on didn't quicken his progress.

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Kagome was at the hospital when her cell phone rang.

"He's here!" Kagome's mother's voice happily rang. A ominous thump was heard in the background...And Kagome really regretted what she said right before the phone call.

"I guess I really shouldn't have said 'sit boy'", she thought to her self.

Another thump.

"Hey...I didn't say 'sit boy'", she thought.

Another thump.

"I don't understand...Did the words change from 'sit boy' to something else?", she wondered.

Another thump.

Kaede appeared at the foot of her hospital bed.

"I almost forgot to tell you, the beads magnify your thoughts, too." She said with a weak (very weak) smile.

"KAGOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That definitely wasn't the voice of a happy demon.

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It was dinner time a few weeks later, and the family was sitting in the upstairs dining room, eating quietly, when the two oldest members of the family started another dispute.

"ONIONS CAN TOO KEEP AWAY ZOMBIES!!!!" Grandpa cried out, indignant.

"CAN NOT!" Kaede was equally loud.

Soon pieces of tiles began to shake lose from the roof.

A construction worker walked in to the room.

"Oh yeah, sir, about the tiles..."

Shippou's dad sighed, "Just put it on my tab."

"So...In total...about 50 million yen." The construction worker said, smiling. (Shippou's dad was putting his kids through college, he had no reason not to smile)

"CAN TOO!"

"CAN NOT!"

"FINE! LET'S TRY THIS OUT!!!"

The collective voice of the table rang out in unison, "NO!!!".

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Kikyo walked through the woods, enjoying the scenery.

It had been a long time since she's walked around the place, yet everything looked the same.

The flowers, the trees, the pond.

Hey! They even had the same bum living beside the garbage can.

"Hey lady, can you spare some change?" The bum held out a dirty hand.

Kikyo smiled and put her hand in her pocket.

She pulled out a gun.

"Can you?"

A/N: It feels pretty good to write like this again. I think this is a pretty funny chapter.