Notes: Set in the mangaverse after the end of the war. This is is an AU fic and features the pairing of IxS.

Hellsing is owned by Kohta Hirano.

Guilt. Seras Victoria wondered why she felt it as she watched her Master leave the Hellsing mansion. He had finally asked her if she wanted to go to Romania with him. And I said no, Seras thought to herself, feeling even more shame. She watched as Integral kissed him goodbye and he whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. Catching the two of them in a tender moment brought a smile to Seras' face as well – until she felt his eyes on her. Alucard rarely spoke to her telepathically or invaded her thoughts and Seras hated when did, but this was one time when Seras wished he had said something. Anything would be better than that look in his eyes. What was it - anger, disappointment, or hurt? It lasted only for a few seconds and Alucard stepped into the limousine while his Countess and fledgling watched him leave.

Seras rested on the bed and sighed. Her bedroom had belonged to Integral before Arthur Hellsing died and remnants of her childhood were still visible inside of it. Dolls, books suitable for a teenage girl, and various trinkets from abroad decorated the shelves. Integral Hellsing had left her childhood behind on the day she became Alucard's master and moved into the master bedroom a few months after her father died. After the war, Integral had offered it to Seras and she had not thought twice about accepting it. Alucard and Integral shared the master bedroom and on many occasions, Seras could hear the two of them grunting and groaning. She was learning that sometimes the enhanced senses of a vampire were a curse.

The knock on the door startled Seras and she nearly fell of the bed. Bloody hell, I must have dozed off. "Sir?" She called out.

"Seras Victoria, will you please stop with the 'Sir.' I don't know how often I've told you there is no long a need to be so formal. We are practically family, now. Are you going to open the door or---"

Seras opened the door as fast as she could. "I'm sorry, Integral." Saying her name just didn't feel right. The moment she looked up and into Integral's eyes, Seras wished that she hadn't - the young vampire was hypnotized by Integral's blue eyes.

Integra grinned at Seras as she waited for her to speak. "Is there something wrong Seras?"

Seras shook her head and looked down. "Oh I'm sorry Integral. I was just umm---thinking." She watched her as she walked over and sat down at the small table. "Did Master get off on his trip okay?" Seras asked as she joined Integral at the table.

"Yes, everything went smoothly." Integral answered. "I think he was disappointed that you chose not to join him."

"He was?" Seras asked. "I hope he's not angry. I don't know why I didn't go." Seras said, feeling guilty because she knew it was a lie. Integral Hellsing, herself, was the reason Seras had chosen to remain in England. "The thought of going to Romania, alone with Master, is just a little scary." Seras admitted. Well, that much is true. I can have more than one reason for not going , can't I?

Integral chuckled at Seras' comment. "The only thing you have to fear about those trips, Seras is boredom. I went on the first one at his insistence. Romania is just not England. I would have joined him myself, but I have the business here to attend to." Integral took two blood packets from her pocket and handed one to Seras.

Seras couldn't help staring into Integral's blue eyes. If she had been human, their beauty would have taken her breath away. Everyone except for Alucard had been surprised when Integral's eyes turned a more brilliant shade of blue instead of red, after her "rebirth." Seras had been a little surprised but not entirely. She knew how her Master felt about blue eyes and was sure that he had made it possible somehow. "Integral, did Master ever explain why your eyes didn't turn red like his and mine?"

Integral smiled warmly at the girl. "I've learned there are some questions that Alucard does not wish to answer, Seras. I thought it best not to press him for an answer." She lit a cigar and puffed on it. "What about you, Seras? Are there some questions that you don't like to answer?"

Seras shifted nervously in her seat. She couldn't know the reason I stayed back…or could she? The thought terrified Seras. "Perhaps---but couldn't that be said about everyone?"

"Perhaps it could." Integral replied and got up from her chair.

Seras sighed in relief. Integral was leaving now – her secret had not been found out. But Integral did not walk towards the door and within seconds, she was standing behind Seras. The young vampire nearly fell out of her chair when she felt Integral's cool hands on her shoulders.

"You're so tense, Seras – just like him." Integral said, as she kneaded the muscles in her shoulders.

She mumbled something incoherent in response. Nothing had felt this good since…since, she had fed from Pip and Seras did not want the pleasure to end. Her first response had been to resist. Seras had never liked anyone touching her since her parents' murder. But, she had fond memories of nights from her childhood when her mom stroked her hair and sang her lullaby. The touch of someone she cared for felt wonderful. Seras had not realized just how much she missed it.

"Feel better?" Integral asked and continued to stroke Seras hair. "I'm going to my room now, Seras, it's almost daylight. Would you like to join me? I don't like sleeping alone."

Seras blushed at Integral's statement and wondered if she was hearing things. "Wha-what? I couldn't possibly. I don't think Master would approve." She looked into Integral's eyes; they were such a perfect shade of blue.

"I assure you, Seras. He doesn't have any objections. Actually, I think it was he who suggested it."

Seras smiled at Integral. She wanted to join her but she was still a child in so many ways and the thought of doing anything with Integral or anyone scared her. She looked down, not sure what to do or say.

"It's okay, Seras. I know you've never… We don't have to do anything besides sleep if you would rather we didn't. I know your past still haunts you in many ways." Integral waited for Seras to follow her.

"Well, it would be nice not sleeping alone." Seras answered and followed Integral down the hall. Although she appeared quiet and subdued, Seras was secretly thrilled. She was grinning like a Cheshire cat by the time they reached Integral's room.

"I do hope, Seras, that one day you will want to do more than sleep with me."

Seras nodded and watched Integral undress. She did want to do other things with Integral but just thinking of them terrified her. For now, sharing a bed with her Master's Countess satisfied her more than words could say.