Title: Avoidance

Authors: WolfPilot06 and Lazuli

Pairings: SasuNaru and hints of LeeSaku

Warnings: Fluff, PWP, shonen ai

Notes: Lazuli and I often randomly cowrite things together without any planning beforehand. This is one such product of our collective enthusiasms.

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Sitting on top of the rooftop of his apartment, Naruto could barely hold back his amusement as Sasuke tried to push away one of his 'fangirls', as Naruto had dubbed them. Scary, ninja-strength fangirls. Naruto noticed that one of them was Sakura and frowned a little.

Sasuke barely held back a sigh of exasperation as yet another prepubescent, ambitious kunoichi thrust her underdeveloped chest at him at an attempt to seduce him, ignoring her eyelash batting (she looked as if something was in her eye) and the slanted looks she was sending his way. Somewhere behind him, Sakura was bickering with another fangirl, equally frustrated with his fangirls' attempts to disrupt what had been an attempt to get together for a friendly lunch (Sakura had secretly confided that she was considering accepting Lee's offers of dates; after Sasuke had blurted his secret to her, she'd given up chasing after him, but kept up the pretense for the fun of it).

All of a sudden he was aware of the dead silence of the girls around him. He flicked his gaze over to see why the shouting and hair pulling had stopped. Usually only one person could cause such a reaction in a crowd, and when his gaze landed on a familiar mop of messy blond hair, he knew he was right. Naruto - making a nuisance of himself once again. Sakura had the presence of mind to use Naruto in a positive way.

"Oh, there you are, Naruto!" Her voice rang out clearly in the sudden silence. "Sasuke was just wondering where you were. You're late for lunch."

"Sorry," Naruto grinned unrepentantly, folding his arms behind his head with a shit-eating grin and acting as if he didn't realize that the other girls were looking at him with a mixture of revulsion and horror on their faces. "There was a group of kids picking on this poor little puppy dog, and I stopped to save it."

"Moron," Sasuke muttered, relieved that the barrage of tiny flying hearts had ceased. "You're getting more and more like Kakashi-sensei with each passing day."

"Hey, now," Naruto retorted, "At least I don't wander around Konoha with my nose buried in porn. I tastefully peruse my porn in the privacy of my bedroom."

Sakura sighed and shook her head, resisting the urge to punch Naruto for his lack of propriety; he was, after all, the only thing keeping the frozen group of girls around them from mobbing Sasuke at the moment, and he'd hardly be effective lying in the rubble of a wall fifty feet down the street.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Idiot." He muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You're here now so let's go." He mentally prepared himself for the barrage of questions and protests that would come from the girls.

"But Sasuke-kun!" The one nearest to him squealed. "I'd be much better company than Naruto or Sakura! Don't you think so?" She batted her eyes at him again, looking as if she developed a tic in her eye. Her gaze turned almost sneering as she looked over at Naruto. "At least I can make you something better than ramen."

Naruto scowled at that, and Sakura laid a hand on his arm, preventing him from launching into a defense of his favorite (and cheap) meal.

"Sakura and Naruto are my teammates," Sasuke said flatly, "And I treasure my hearing and eyesight, so I think I'll stick with them."

Sakura barely covered a smile with a cough as the indignant, wounded fangirl reeled back from the rare retort from the object of her adoration. Thoroughly annoyed, Sasuke began stalking through the crowd of frozen fangirls, obviously expecting Naruto and Sakura to follow. They did, Sakura with a shake of her head at the thought that she had once been one of these obnoxious girls, and Naruto with a cheeky grin and a wave at the scowls that met his passage.

Naruto would wonder later what made him do it - some sort of sick impulse or a strand of mischief that hadn't been worked out of his system... but -

He slung an arm over Sasuke's shoulders, making his eyes wide. "Sasuke has so many girls following him still!" He stuck out his lower lip for good measure. "I think I'm jealous."

Sasuke tensed under his arm, but Naruto was reassured - and pleasantly surprised - when he didn't shrug away his touch.

"I think you're insane," Sasuke shot back. "You want a group of girls trying to hump your leg wherever you go?"

"Oh, come on, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, a grin in her voice as she primly smoothed the front of her dress. "Most guys would kill to be in your position. Hell, Naruto would kill to be in your position."

Naruto wrinkled his nose, "'cept, they'd just kill me for daring to harm their darling Sasuke-baby, then."

An incoherent snarl came from the dark, stalking lump he called his best friend.

Naruto smirked and batted his own eyelashes - doing a better job of it than the fangirls - at Sasuke. "Oh, come on now - don't you want an entire village of girls following you around? They could line up for days, all of them scrambling over the other boys just so they could say 'Ooh, Sasuke-kun LOOKED at me!'" He snorted.

Sakura bit her lip and tried to hold in her laughter. "Now, now Naruto - that isn't fair to Sasuke. It's not real attention."

"It's attention, though. It's almost as if he's a rock star, and not a butt-headed excuse for a Konoha shinobi," Naruto joked, the faintest hint of automatic bitterness in his voice. Sasuke grunted and nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.

"You want them? I'll give them to you, free of charge. Hell, I'll pay you to take them," Sasuke said. Sakura giggled.

"What if Naruto changed into you, and you into Naruto?" Sakura suggested humorously, "That way, you could change places without anyone realizing. Sasuke would get his privacy, and Naruto would get the prepubescent, hormonal adulation he so desperately desires. You wouldn't have any problem pulling off the stunt, since you know each other so well."

Naruto looked uncomfortable at that. "Nah, I don't think that Sasuke could handle pulling me off. He'd have to, you know, smile every once in a while. I wouldn't want him pulling a muscle or something trying to act like me." He smirked. "However, I could pull off his 'I'm super angst-boy' routine easily." He tugged Sasuke closer. "Or I could be a fangirl." He fluttered his eyelashes at Sasuke, pitching his voice into a higher, breathless tone. "But Sasuke-kun... I think you're the hottest thing ever. Look at me... smile at me... kiss me, you handsome, you emo-poster child, you!"

Sakura started giggling uncontrollably in the background, while Sasuke - interestingly enough - turned a funny shade of red and slouched down even further under Naruto's arm, looking as if he was trying to shrink down into himself.

"Don't do that, idiot," Sasuke snapped, "You're making me sick. It's bad enough that I get that from stupid, fluttery fangirls on a daily basis. I don't need you getting hormonal on me, too."

Naruto scowled deeply at that. "You're getting awfully full of yourself if you think that you have boys panting after you, too." He muttered. "It's called a joke, Uchiha." He was tempted to shove Sasuke away, but he rather like the comfortable feeling of Sasuke under his arms, and the fact that Sasuke wasn't pulling away.

Sakura patted Naruto's head. "I'm sure that Sasuke just feels weird having you say those sort of things, Naruto. You're usually saying how you're going to pound him into the ground."

Sasuke suddenly sputtered and went into a fit of extended coughing, much to Naruto's concern and Sakura's well-hidden amusement. Naruto smacked him on the back unhelpfully as Sasuke tried to catch his breath and glared at Sakura at the same time. She just winked and grinned.

"Oi, don't die on me, bastard," Naruto warned, still smacking him - rather hard - right between the shoulder blades, "You're too much of an asshole to die of choking."

"You - can - stop - hitting - me – you – fuck - ing - moron." Sasuke chattered out from between hits, dark glare shifting to Naruto's unrepentant face.

Naruto winced and pulled his hand away, before returning it to rub at Sasuke's back to sooth the hits. "Ehehe... sorry about that. I heard that's what you're supposed to do if someone's choking or whatever - " He looked sheepish and a faint blush tinted his cheeks. "I just ... you know - don't want you going into fits cause of some stupid fangirls, ya know?"

Sakura smirked and hummed innocently at that. "Oh, the fangirls won't harm him, Naruto. You're the only one allowed to get rough with him." Sakura, it seemed, was having too much fun baiting Sasuke.

Sasuke gave Sakura a look that clearly promised painful death, in response to which she grinned cheerfully.

"Well, that's damn right." Naruto said, clearly taking this as a compliment to his prowess, "I'm the only one capable of pounding his ass. That's 'cause I'm me."

Sasuke went red again.

Naruto peered into Sasuke's face, eyes concerned. "Are you really okay, bastard?" He asked. "You're awfully red and touchy today. What the hell did those girls do to you today?" He turned to Sakura.

"He might be getting sick," she offered, an impish gleam in her eyes. "Naruto, why don't you check to see if he has a fever?"

Sasuke looked as if he alternately wanted to die of embarrassment or kill one of his teammates - he didn't seem to particularly care which - as Naruto obediently placed a hand across his forehead. The oblivious blond frowned as Sasuke turned redder beneath his hand, resembling a sort of odd beet.

"Well, he feels a little warm, but not that much. I think he's just - uh - " A grin began creeping across Naruto's face, "Sasuke, are you blushing?"

Sasuke made a funny, incoherent noise and looked as if he wished the ground would open up and swallow him.

Naruto's look turned sly. "Oooh, someone has a crush on one of his teammates." He singsonged. "I should go tell the fangirls right now so that they'll know you're taken." He absently brushed the hair off of Sasuke's head as he prepared to move away.

Sakura's eyes widened at that, and Sasuke's scowl grew even deeper and more pronounced. It looked like he really was going to kill one of them, and his hand shot out to grab Naruto's.

"Tell anyone that I like Sakura, and I will fucking kill you," Sasuke growled, surprising both of his teammates with the threat. He ignored the bewildered look that Sakura was giving him and shoved away from Naruto, stalking to Ichiraku's brightly-lit counter without another word and signaling for a bowl of ramen as the rest of Team Seven gaped in incomprehension at his rigid back.

Naruto shared a blank look with Sakura, and then casually sat down next to Sasuke. The imp of the perverse hadn't left him yet. "So can I tell them that you have a crush on me instead?" He asked, just as Sasuke took a bite of the noodles.

"No." Sasuke snapped, and bit savagely into his meal. "No crushes. To all appearances and purposes, I am an asexual being without any feelings."

Sakura snorted loudly from Naruto's other side, giving Sasuke a rather frustrated, surreptitious look.

"But what if I had a crush on you, Sasuke?" Naruto murmured into his ear, timed to when a fangirl 'happened by' the Ichiraku booth.

He might not be a twelve-year-old anymore, and he might play fewer pranks thanks to his questionable maturity, but riling up Sasuke was still a favorite past time, and anything that annoyed the succubi that posing as adolescent girls was always a fun thing.

Sasuke twitched and took another large bite of ramen before replying.

"I'd kill your ass for joking about something like that."

Sakura rolled her eyes and ordered her own ramen, resigned to her two boys' stupidity.

"Like spreading the untrue rumor that you like me is any better, Sasuke-kun?" she said with deceptive pleasantness, glaring daggers at her stony-faced companion. "We both know you don't like me."

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you come near?" Sasuke returned dryly, sipping his broth.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

Naruto looked back and forth between them, a slightly hurt expression on his face. "I bet that Sasuke actually likes Sakura-chan, but won't say anything." He said cheerfully, sipping at his broth. "He's just got this thing about wanting to keep things shoved up his ass..."

"Didn't I say that I like Sakura?" Sasuke remarked, trying to ignore Naruto's comment, "I vaguely remember threatening you about telling anyone a few moments ago. It's not my fault she likes someone else."

Sakura intensified her glare, turning slightly pink, as the object of Sasuke's pointed comment was sitting nearby with Gai-sensei, animatedly describing his last mission.

Naruto frowned and drank the last of the soup, and then smirked, hanging over Sasuke's shoulders again. "But we both know that you like me the best..." He tilted his head. "Why else did we share that bath last week?"

Sometimes the timing of Naruto's words was unbelievable.

Sasuke shrugged him away uncomfortably.

"Are you a human, or are you a creeping vine?" he asked irritably, "Typically, men share baths in the onsen. They seem to look down on unisex onsen for some inexplicable reason."

Sakura snorted into her broth, finding it hard to believe that Sasuke was going to the extent of making asinine comments to hide his crush from Naruto.

"But you liked sharing the onsen with me, didn't you?" Naruto persisted. There was something slightly off about Sasuke's replies, and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. The remarks that Sakura was making only encouraged him. "Just the two of us, no one to bother you..." He paused and then grinned inwardly. This one had to get Sasuke. "Did that time we shared a bed mean nothing to you?"

Sasuke promptly choked on his broth and turned several interesting shades of crimson as he sputtered. Snapping his head around to glare at Naruto, he wiped the soup from his face with the back of his hand and wondered - not for the first time - if it was possible to make someone spontaneously combust with the force of his glare.

"That wasn't by choice. Kakashi-sensei took the other bed, if you don't recall, and you're the one who insisted on sharing a bed." The tips of Sasuke's ears were still bright red, something that both his teammates found distinctly amusing, though for varying reasons.

"But you were so warm, Sasuke." Naruto leaned on one hand, grinning into Sasuke's face. The force of Sasuke's glare didn't affect him anymore, he found it rather amusing that he was still able to get a rise out of his usually silent teammate. "You curled up to me so nicely, I thought you mistook me for a teddy bear."

Sakura's eyes widened at that - Sasuke told her about it (under penalty of death if she repeated it) but Sasuke had been unaware that Naruto knew what was going on.

Sasuke turned pinker and, unable to look at Naruto's grinning face any longer, turned his glare upon his unfortunate bowl of soup.

"Natural instinct," he snapped, "You were warm, too. I must have been cold. That's the only reason I'd cuddle up to an idiot like you."

"But I liked it when you did that, Sasuke." Naruto was half-teasing, half serious - it was rather nice that his anti-social teammate turned to him for warmth, and rather unexpected. "I didn't pull away, did I?"

He was determined to prod at this, because Sasuke wouldn't be blushing if there wasn't a reason behind it. "Unless you woke up and found out I wasn't Sakura or someone else that you liked..."

"I was unconscious, idiot," Sasuke snapped, still blushing. "How was I supposed to know if you pulled away or not?"

"I think the better question is, Naruto," Sakura piped up suddenly, a light bulb going off in her head, "Why didn't you pull away when Sasuke cuddled up to you?"

Naruto's mouth dropped open in shock for a moment, eyes widening before he collected himself. "And wake the bastard up and have him accuse me of molesting him or acting like one of his fangirls?" He demanded, cheeks darkening a shade to match Sasuke's.

A delicate pink eyebrow arched, knowing eyes shifting between the dark-haired boy suddenly intent upon studying the dregs of his soup and the blond boy competing with the other for reddest complexion.

"I'm sure that's the only reason you didn't pull away," she said pleasantly, and went back to slurping her soup contentedly, ignoring Naruto's sputtering beside her.

"What the hell are you accusing me of, Sakura-chan!" He demanded, standing up and trying to suppress his blushing. "If I... I mean... Sasuke wouldn't..." He swore violently and kicked the stool he'd been sitting on. "He cuddled up to me and looked happy, okay?" He grumbled. "I didn't want him to lose the smile. It looked kinda nice on him."

"Mm..." Sakura agreed placidly, intent on twining a strand of ramen around her chopsticks, "That was kind of you, Naruto. Your consideration is commendable; wouldn't you say so, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke grunted, still staring into his soup. His dark brows were drawn together in a thoughtful scowl.

Naruto stared at the ground. "People don't smile for me." He said under his breath. "And it made me feel wanted." Only Sakura was supposed to hear that.

He was startled when somebody smacked him in the back of his head, but wasn't surprised to find that it was his female teammate who had done so.

"Stop being so self-deprecating, Naruto," she chided gently, "Perhaps this was true two years ago, but plenty of people smile for you nowadays. Even Sasuke-kun smiles at you when he thinks you're not looking."

Sasuke's head snapped up at this, a look of faint panic in his eyes as he scowled at Sakura.

"Yeah, when he thinks I'm asleep." He muttered, rubbing the back of his head and glaring at Sakura. "It's the only time he smiles. It's like he's afraid for me to see him looking like a human being."

He stuck his tongue out at Sasuke before leaning forward again. "You should smile more, bastard. I like it. You're not alone either, and you have more than fangirls wanting to be around you."

Sasuke gave him a suspicious, slightly funny look.

"Are you saying that you want to be around me?" he asked cautiously, trying to make his tone insulting.

"Why wouldn't I?" Naruto challenged, staring at him straight in the eye.

"Why would you?" Sasuke demanded, poking viciously at a fish cake floating in the dregs of his soup.

Naruto frowned at the way Sasuke stabbed at the remainder of his food; it hadn't escaped his attention that it was a fishcake that Sasuke was stabbing at.

"Because I care about you?" Naruto suggested. "'Cause you're my friend, and you've known me for ages, and you don't care about things?" He sighed and played with his chopsticks. "You were my first friend, Sasuke. Of course I want to be around you."

Sasuke said nothing, frowning into his empty bowl.

"You're weird, Naruto," he said finally, sounding oddly puzzled.

Naruto was offended, and not a little hurt.

"What do you mean, I'm weird?" he demanded, "Just because I said I care about you, you call me weird?"

Dark brows drew closer together, a tiny furrow forming between them.

"I tried to kill you," he said finally, his voice barely audible over the clamor of the ramen stand, "More than once. And yet - you don't seem to care. Just how far does your forgiveness go, Naruto?"

Naruto shrugged. "You saved me, too." He pointed out. "Back when you didn't even like me and no one wanted me around and stuff." He rubbed the back of his head, slightly embarrassed. "I mean - that kind of thing is stronger than anything else. And ... even when you were trying to kill me - you still called me your best friend. Out of everyone that you could have chosen to like… make yourself stronger... you chose me."

Naruto didn't realize what kind of twisted logic that formed until now. "Before, you said I always made you weak... but at that point, I was the thing you needed."

"Needed to kill," Sasuke reminded him, but his tone and expression were oddly blank, as if he were merely pointing out a trivial fact to Naruto. Sakura watched the exchange in silence.

Naruto's grin was cheeky. "Hey, you needed me, right?" He poked Sasuke in the side. "And now that you've gotten over that whole 'I need to kill you' thing, you know that you need me around to make sure your face doesn't crack if you try to smile around anyone else."

Sasuke scowled.

"Sasuke-kun doesn't smile," Sakura pointed out, "I don't think it's in his facial expression vocabulary."

"Thank you so very much for the input, Sakura, light of my life, dew of my dawn," Sasuke said dryly. Naruto, unable to help himself, cracked up.

"Aw, you two make such a cute couple." He snickered again. "I can just see the type of children you two would produce. Angsty, brooding, pink haired girls." He rolled his eyes. "Actually, the thought of Sasuke as a father is sca-ry." He mock-shuddered. "Maybe you are better off with a cute boy."

"I think I'm better off being asexual." Sasuke remarked, staring morbidly into the drying remains of his soup and wondering if he could drown himself in them. Just how had they gotten into this conversation in the first place, again?

Naruto smirked. "You'll never get away with it with all your fan girls..." His eyes widened as he spotted a group of them flocking nearby. "Ah, hell.. they've pulled out the big guns this time." He muttered into Sasuke's ear.

"Don't tell me they're wearing bikinis and waving their undergarments in the air again," Sasuke muttered back, refusing to look.

"A few of them are topless and have 'I Love Sasuke' written on their – ah - chests." Sakura volunteered, voice completely serious. "Better do something to get them off the scent again."

"I don't suppose I could do the entire, 'I was molested as a child and have thus suffered severe emotional trauma' act again?" Sasuke suggested morbidly, "Last time I did that, they held off for an entire five minutes before mobbing me and offering to heal my emotional pain with their bodies."

Sakura rolled her eyes with a wince, remembering well that particular incident.

"I think we're going to have to go for something a little more drastic," she said a bit remorsefully. Her green eyes, however, were sparkling with mischief. "Naruto, kiss Sasuke."

"What?" cried both boys in unison.

She hushed them quickly as the fangirls' eyes zoomed in on the unexpected sounds that Sasuke had made. "Shh! This is the perfect thing. Naruto..." Her eyes were radiating mischief at this point. "Don't you want to help Sasuke out? Keep the fangirls away from him?"

Naruto looked nervous, scratching at the back of his head unconsciously as his eyes darted from side to side.

"Uh...this sure as hell wasn't in the brochure," he said evasively. "Last time I checked, kissing wasn't part and parcel with the entire 'best friend' package."

"It wouldn't work, Sakura." Sasuke hissed, looking murderous when she merely grinned at him. "They know that Naruto and I are rivals. It wouldn't convince them."

She rolled her eyes. "They aren't exactly the smartest bunch in the basket." She hissed out, grabbing the back of Naruto's head. She was going to make the two idiots kiss if she had to push them together. "Just one little kiss and a little smile should keep them away for at least day, if not a few days." Her smirk widened when she saw the look on Sasuke's face. "Wouldn't that be worth it?" She goaded.

"I'm going to make your death long and painful," Sasuke promised, and, without further ado, pulled Naruto into what was certainly not a little kiss. It was, in fact, quite a deep and thorough kiss that involved both boys closing their eyes and forgetting the rest of the world existed. Sakura's eyes went wide as she watched Sasuke slip an arm around Naruto's waist, tilting him back slightly and tangling long, pale fingers in sun-kissed locks of gold, tanned arms lifting to wrap around Sasuke's shoulders in answer.

There was dead silence in the ramen stand.

Time seemed to have come to a complete stop as everyone - from the chef to Gai and Lee behind them to the group of horrified fangirls hovering just beyond the curtains to Sakura - froze and watched the passionately kissing duo in shock. Sakura stared dazedly, her mouth beginning to water for some reason as the boys showed no indication of slowing or stopping anytime soon, wondering vaguely if she could somehow coax one or the other into showing her just how they managed to kiss for so long without passing out.

Sasuke slowly pulled away, smirking at the shell-shocked look on Naruto's face, before eating the last fishcake, savoring it slowly and keeping eye contact with Naruto the entire time. It was entirely enjoyable, and as he heard the distinctive thuds of several bodies hitting the ground, he knew his fangirls wouldn't be bothering him anytime soon. The fact that he finally got to kiss Naruto was an added bonus.

Naruto at least had the presence of mind not to give the whole thing 'away' by yelling; in fact, he was looking quite pleased once the dazed expression left his face and a slight blush replaced it.

"Hm," Sasuke commented after several quiet moments, during which the rest of the ramen stand haltingly galvanized itself back into motion, "Miso. You still taste like miso."

"Moron," Naruto returned after a moment, grinning and lifting his hand to order another bowl of ramen. "What'd you expect? I just ate miso ramen."

Sasuke shrugged, still looking smug. For all that he hadn't exactly appreciated Sakura and Naruto's needling all afternoon, he was pleased that Naruto didn't seem put-off by his kiss.

"Guys," Sakura finally said faintly, "Please warn me before you do that again so I can prepare myself for the sudden loss of coherency."

Sasuke actually grinned and saluted her with his chopsticks.

"Will do. Warning, coherency loss imminent." And he turned and pulled Naruto into yet another kiss.

He grinned against Naruto's lips as Sakura whimpered slightly and lost her balance, sliding off her stool with a loud thump. All in all, it was a beautiful evening.

--

The End

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Pointless? Perhaps. Comments and criticism loved. )

Wolf and Lazuli