The children of Lazytown came upon Ziggy sitting on the bench, holding a small torn piece of paper.

"What're you reading?" Trixie asked.

"You're reading?" Stingy questioned in shock.

"He can't read!" Pixel insisted.

"So?" Ziggy demanded, just as Trixie shouted,

"No kidding!"

"Well, what is it then?" Stingy asked.

"If I can't read, how am I supposed to know?" Ziggy shrugged.

"Give it to me! It's mine anyways." Stingy grabbed 'his' paper.

"Hmmmm….Thinking, thinking….I've got it! VeenayahEareEAyal."

"Lemme try!" Ziggy grabbed the paper from him.

"Vuhbackcattuh Duh- dog!" He grinned triumphantly.

"What the fuck?" Pixel grabbed the paper back. "Where is the b in that word? Where's the ack and the T? What the hell is wrong with you? Who the hell reads letters and sounds, shit, whole fucking words that aren't there? What the hell is wrong with you? Jesus! Maybe someone should drop you on your head and that will actually help you think better!"

"Wow, that was… harsh." Trixie whispered.

"And?" He crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow.

"And nothing," she shrugged. "I was just saying."

"It's true!" He countered.

"Yeah," she answered, "I know."

"Wish his teachers knew!" He grumbled. "Or his parents. Jesus Christ, who let's their kid go on in school when they're that stupid? Damn, I'd love to have that job. "Oh, you read the word dog as octopus- that's great! Super job!" Geez, the fact that it's true makes me want to hold a gun to my head and pull the- wait, no. That'd be stupid. It just makes me wanna hold a gun to your head!" He glared at Ziggy.

He walked over to Ziggy, taking slow careful steps. "Gun," he pronounced, enunciating carefully. "Guh, uh, nnnn. Gun. You know, the thing that goes….

BANG!"

Ziggy screamed like a hysterical girl and cowered on the ground.

Pixel let out a groan of anguish. "Oh my god," he whispered, "you are so stupid!" Then he walked away to read the paper.

"Vee…en..Ay…ar…e…ahl, I think that's what the first word is," Pixel commented. "But, I still don't get it."

"We still have to figure out what it says." Trixie added.

"Hey, that's what I was doing."

"Do you think you have it right?" Stingy asked.

"More right than catabackratdogsupercaliI'llreadwordsandsoundsthatdon'texist."

"Let it go Pixel, just let it go." Trixie answered.

"Damn, that's all I'm saying."

"Well, I'm saying let's get someone to read this and figure it out."

"I'm all for that!"

"Let's go!"

"So…. What do you think it says?" Stingy leaned over Stephanie's shoulder impatiently.

"Um, well…. Let me look at it….

"Hmmm. Well, I don't know, no matter what I don't know what the word means, and all the pronunciations you said doesn't help either. Either they don't make sense, or they're wrong, or I just am not familiar with the word."

"Or, you're stupid."

"Pixel!" Trixie hissed, glaring at him in disapproval of his joke. But then she covered her mouth with her hand, clamping her mouth shut as well in a feeble attempt to stifle laughter.

"Hey, that's me!' Ziggy piped up, defensively.

Pixel covered his eyes with his hand. "Oh my god," he groaned. "Ziggy, just shut up, man. Shut up."

"Okay, okay."

"I think it's time to find a grown up." Stephanie put the paper down and looked at the group seriously.

"Good idea, Stephanie."

So the kids and the idiot are walking down the street and the first person they run into is……

The Mayor.

"Mayor, do you know what these words mean?" Trixie asked as Stephanie handed her uncle the ripped paper.

"Weeelll… the first word doesn't mean much to me, but the second word, I believe is di-

"Dog! I knew it!" Ziggy squealed.

Trixie rolled her eyes and popped him in the mouth. "Idiot," she muttered.

Just then Miss Busybody walked by.

"Hello children! And how are we all doing today?"

"We are all doing well, thank you," Stingy smiled.

She smiled back. "Such a polite boy."

"The children were trying to figure out what this piece of paper says."

"It's a mystery!" Stephanie added.

She took the paper and held it up close to her nose. "Now, let me see, let me just get a good look at this piece of paper-

She stopped abruptly and shook her head hard. Her mouth dropped open. "That can't be," she murmured. Holding the paper further from her now, she re-read it, mouthing the words silently.

"What does it say?" Trixie demanded impatiently.

Ms. Busybody stared at the Mayor. "Do you want me to tell the children?" She asked, concern showing in her eyes.

"Well certainly!" He enthused. "If you can, that would be a great help."

"But this-

"Ms. Busybody, we really don't have much time." Pixel interrupted.

"Do you know what this says?"

"Just read it, ya old hag!" Trixie yelled in a pirate voice.

"Hey," Stingy shoved her, "she's no hag!"

"That's right children, and we must respect our elders." The Mayor said.

"Right," Pixel answered.

Miss Busybody looked flustered, then blurted out angrily, "Which one of you has venereal disease?"

"What?"

"You heard me!

"It says "has venereal disease."

"Who has it? Which boy or girl has it?" She demanded.

"How do you know someone has it?"

"Because the name has clearly been ripped off. What else could it be?"

"Indeed. What else could it be?" Stingy raised his eyebrows.

"Get over it, Stingy." Stephanie chided.

"Who has venereal disease?"

"Excuse me, Miss Busybody," the mayor interrupted, "but… just what is venereal disease?"

Just then Robbie Rotten walked past the group laughing.

"Sportafruit was right! You all really are stupid," he grumbled.