Part Eleven

Every Christmas Eve Pooh and Shawsey would make a huge, elaborate, breakfast of Belgian waffles draped with cranberry syrup and rich mule's butter. Then they would spend the day doing charity work. They would bring gift baskets filled with spiced meats, sausage, cheeses, wine, and fruitcake, to the homeless. They would march into the hospitals and bring dollhouses, toy soldiers, drum kits, and bicycles to children at the hospital. They would visit nursing homes and listen to the old tell stories of World War II, Gene Simmons, and the Great Depression. After a day of merry making, Shawsey and Pooh would go to church to praise heavenly father. The whole congregation would have a candle to hold and they would sing O Holy Night. There would be beautiful, buxom, liturgical, dancers that would twirl down the aisles in flowing white gowns. One year Pastor Rothchild brought in a whole flock of real sheep to process down the aisle and pay homage to the baby Jesus at the alter. Pooh loved church on Christmas Eve. But now this year, he might not make it back. Shawsey would have to go alone. Pooh began to drift off, the alcohol and the food formed a lead pocket of sludge in his belly, he fell fast asleep.

Pooh saw a bright light heading towards him. He could hear the sound of a car motor, but it couldn't be, or could it. Pooh opened an ice. He noticed ice hanging off of his eyelashes, and white out conditions. Sleet began to beat his face. Eeyore was fully blue, with his eyes frozen shut. Before him was a big black Cadillac Escalade with Tigger in the driver's seat.

"Tigger!" Pooh screamed. Tigger bounced out of the car.

"I am so sorry it took so long," Tigger explained. "Quick hop in the warm car. It's got heated seats."

Since he was too weak and hung over to walk Tigger and Pooh hurled Eeyore into the back seat of the Escalade, where Eeyore could lie down and resume rest. Pooh got into the passenger seat. The heated seat spread warmth all the way up his back and neck, which was stiff with coldness. Usually Pooh was one of those sweaty sorts, always hot and sweaty, but tonight he was thankful for heat.

"Nice ride," he commented.

"Thank Pete Moss," Tigger replied as he headed towards Eeyore's place. "I'm sorry it took so long. I called Weasil's place but the maid said they had gone down to a bar for the night. I called Pete's cell phone and left a message. An hour and a half later he finally called me back. He was too drunk and it sounded like he had about three warm pussies in the sack with him. Man, I wish I had a famous football playing uncle. Anyway he didn't really give at shit if I took the Escalade to get you guys, so I had to walk over to his uncle's house, wake up the night butler, and have him give me the keys." Pooh glanced at the dashboard clock. 5:45. They had been outside in the cold for almost six hours! Pooh and Tigger together lifted Eeyore's frozen carcass out of the Escalade and into his trailer. Tigger filled the bathtub up with warm water, and with the help of Pooh, heaved Eeyore in it to defrost. Then he swapped a Molson Ice from the fridge, Pooh wolfed down a plate of cold cuts, and they went on their way.

"Thank you for picking us up," said Pooh. "I thought you wouldn't do it."

"Why not?" Tigger asked. "Because I don't have a designer suit, or a six figure car?"

"No," Pooh replied quickly. "Can we swing through the drive thru?" They were passing Krispy Kreme's 24 hour drive thru. Tigger pulled in. "You just seemed mad about me going to the ball," he continued as they waited for their order. "Why'd you change your mind and help us?"

"You changed it," Tigger replied. "Kanga told me how sick Shawsey was, and how she saw you at CVS buying his medicines and heating pads. All I heard was how you were reading to him, making his tonics, making sure he didn't get bedsores. I realized that you must still care about your friends even if you got to go to a party loaded with rich people."

"Of course I care," Pooh exclaimed through a mouthful of doughnut. "Trust me I didn't hardly even talk to Mr. Von Maurer, the mayor, or any of those people. I hung out with Piglet, Rabbit, Owl, and Eeyore. I did dance with this nice Latina lass with a great rack though."

"Oh yeah?" Tigger replied. "Did you remember what I told you about judging titties?"

"Oh yes," chirped Pooh. "She had a pleasant handful." It was like old times once again with Tigger. Pooh had never felt so full of goodwill towards fellow man. Everything was perfect, and tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Shawsey would be well again and they could go making merriness throughout the town.

"Tigger you must spend the night at Shawsey's don't drive home," said Pooh then he realized it was actually morning. "Oh bother, it's already six, I guess there is no night left."

"Nah," said Tigger. "This is my usual bedtime. Pete said I can keep the car until tomorrow. They got Weasil's hummer to get around in. Don't mind if I do crash in your guest room." Tigger knew that crashing at Shawsey's meant down pillows, satin sheets, a private bathroom with steam shower, and once in a while a Brazilian babe.

"Hoorah!" Exclaimed Pooh. "You can have our Grand Christmas Eve Breakfast with us."

"Yeah, waffles sound better than cold pizza with cigarette butts on it for breakfast," Tigger replied. They pulled in Pooh's driveway.

Pooh had never been happier as he stripped off his fine suit, and slid under the warm sheets. Shawsey had put the bed warmer filled with hot coals under the covers so the satin sheets would be warm. Pooh blew out his candle, and snuggled down as his head hit the pillow. Immediately he fell fast to sleep.

THE END