Chapter 12 (The Final Chapter)

A/N: Thanks for reading and for the great feedback. I appreciate it. If you liked this, check out some of my other comedies, they're all along the same quirkly lines.

Sunday night, after a dinner that consisted of a dry pork chop, green beans with no butter or salt, and an argument with Josh over the price of my new car, I vow to make him see things my way. So, Monday morning I get to work early to do some research. He, on the other hand, comes strutting in a half hour late with Ed and Larry in tow, talking about the wonder-car convertible. He drops his jacket and backpack in his office and hustles towards Leo's office for senior staff while I walk with him.

"You're running a bit late today."

"I was with Ed and Larry. They love my car."

"Ahh… men talk."

"Yes. Plus, I have the coolest car in the world and they know it."

I ignore him and hand him a Kelly Blue Book printout I pulled from the internet. "Twenty-two five." That's what Kelly, whoever Kelly is, says he should get for his Audi in a private party sale.

He looks at it and hands it back to me. "I thought we'd finished this discussion."

"Yet I've repeatedly told you that we haven't."

"Ten dollars, Donna. That's the price."

"Twenty-two five, Joshua. That's the price."

"You just think that's the price. The actual price is ten dollars. I should know. It's my car and therefore my price to make."

"I hate you."

"I know." I stop as he walks into Leo's office chuckling at me.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I realize my mistake Monday afternoon. Josh would never sell his car outright. He doesn't have the time. So I do some more research and on Tuesday morning I walk into his office and put another printout down on his desk. "Nineteen five," I say while tapping it. That's what Kelly, Les Kelly, used car salesman in the early 1900's and founder of Kelly Blue Book, says he would've gotten if he'd traded it in.

He glances at it and then back at the report in his hands. "Ten dollars," he says without looking at me.

"Nineteen five."

"Ten dollars."

"Nineteen five!"

"Ten dollars." He finally looks up smirks. "And you're eventually going to have to pay me, Donnatella. You've had it for two days. I need that money. I don't have cash for lunch."

I huff and cross my hands over my chest. "You'll get paid when we agree on a price."

I turn around to leave and he shouts, "I want my ten dollars!" as I walk out of his office.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wednesday my car disappears, along with Josh, at one o'clock. Imagine my surprise when I try to run an errand at 1:15 and my car isn't there. Luckily, I have Josh's spare key to the new car, so I take it. With the top down, thank you very much. Anyway, when he returns at two-thirty, I follow him into his office. "You stole my car."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "You haven't paid for it yet. Technically, it's still mine."

What's he pulling here? "That's because you're being ridiculous."

He ignores me. "If you need to pay me in installments, we can work it out. A dollar a week for the next ten weeks, something like that."

I scream through gritted teeth and head for the door while he sits down behind his desk. When I get there, I remember that he stole my car and turn back to him. "Where'd you go, anyway?"

He picks up the Fair Housing Report and starts leafing through it. "It needed an oil change and a tune-up," he says casually.

My eyes nearly bug out of my head. "What?"

He looks up at me with a look of superiority. "You want me to stop repairing it? Buy it."

I stare at him dumfounded for a few seconds. Damn, that was good. "You're not as clever as you think you are," I say, which is obviously a complete lie, because that was unbelievably clever.

He wiggles his eyebrows and smiles at me. "We'll see."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday I re-group and bring him a bagel for breakfast, which, considering that I can't have a bagel and instead had two scrambled egg whites and a piece of low-carb toast for breakfast, is very nice of me. Have you ever had low-carb bread? It's worse than the low-carb frozen yogurt from Saturday. I'm just saying, one more day until this damn state dinner, and I'm not sure I'll make it.

I hand him the bag as he walks past my desk and he looks at me strangely. "What's this?"

I smile innocently. "Look and see."

He cautiously looks in the bag as though I've planted a bomb or something in it. Then he looks back at me. "This doesn't count towards your balance."

"My balance?"

He pulls the bagel out. "The ten dollars you owe me."

"How about we compromise?"

"How about you pay up?"

I ignore him and continue. "I was thinking fifteen thousand? That's a good round number. And I can..."

"Pay me ten dollars?" he asks, cutting me off.

"No. Pay you five thousand a year for the next three years. That way I won't even have to take out a loan. That's a great deal for me."

"Or…" he trails off while chewing a piece of his bagel. "You can pull ten dollars out of your purse and give it to me right now, thus ending the great car debate."

"I like my idea better."

He ignores me and heads towards CJ's office with the bagel. My car disappears at lunch again, and when I leave for the day, there's a receipt for four new tires and an alignment sitting on my passenger seat.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Friday morning I walk into his office and hand him a check, a determined look on my face. He smiles up at me and nods. "It's about…" he stops as he looks at it and sees that it's for $417.00.

"$417.00 a month. That's five thousand a year," I say cheerfully.

He rips the check into tiny pieces and hands it to me, then stands up and rolls down his sleeves. I like them rolled up better, but I don't say that out loud. He leans in close to me and says, "Ten dollars."

I play innocent. "I thought we'd decided on the fifteen thousand thing yesterday."

"I distinctly remember not deciding on that at all."

I stomp my foot. "Joshua!"

"I'm on the hill this afternoon, but if I still own it tomorrow, it's getting detailed," he says before walking out the door to go to senior staff. He's blackmailing me?

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Friday evening, I walk into his office in my dress, which fits fabulously by the way. His bowtie's hanging around his neck and he's on the phone with someone. When he looks up at me, his eyes widen and travel down my body while his mouth hangs opens. Ok, so the dieting thing was totally worth it. But I'm still having pasta tomorrow.

When he gets off the phone, he turns towards me and without a word about it, I start tying his tie. "You look nice," he says, going for casual but missing by a mile.

I tilt my head and smile my not-quite-sexy-but-not-quite-not-sexy smile. "Thank you."

He clears his throat. "Uhh… everything's ok with the car?"

"It's wonderful, thank you. Of course… if we can't come to an agreement on the price, I might have to strangle you. But the car and I will be fine after that." I finish the bowtie but continue adjusting it, my way of staying as close as possible for as long as possible. I wonder if he knows that.

He smirks at me. "That's nice to know."

I take a deep breath and drop my hands. "Joshua…"

He groans and runs a hand over his face. "Haven't we already been through a round of this today?"

"I can afford to buy my own car."

"I have no doubts."

"As much as I appreciate it," I say slowly. "It's not fair to you."

"You're in a safe, reliable car. That's fair to me. Why do we have to make such a big deal of this?" he shouts.

"Because it is a big deal. Because it's not your job to take care of me."

"Newsflash Donna. I want to take care of you!" he yells, his eyes widening even as the words leave his mouth, as if he can't believe they're escaping after all this time. Still, I think they're only half as wide as my own. The room becomes eerily quiet as we stare at each other, neither of us able to move, our eyes locked and our breathing loud in the silent room. He closes his eyes for a brief second, and then he looks pleadingly at me. "Please let me do this," he says quietly in a voice I don't recognize.

The staring continues, as does the silence. It finally becomes too much; if I don't leave the room, I'm going to shove him against his desk and do naughty, naughty things to him. Being the all intelligent woman I am, I turn and walk out without a word. It doesn't occur to me that Josh, or anyone else in the world, might consider this rejection until I walk back into his office a minute later and see that he looks utterly destroyed. Oh shit.

His eyes won't meet mine as I walk towards him again. I get even closer than I was before and he looks away towards the wall. My heart's beating about a million miles an hour and I wonder if he can hear it as well as I can hear the harsh breaths he's taking. I clear my throat but he doesn't budge. Way to take a hint there, Josh.

"Ten dollars," I say quietly.

This gets his attention and he looks back at me. I smile, and keeping my eyes locked on his, reach for his hand, pulling it up between us. He looks down as I put the ten dollar bill I just got from my desk into his palm and then close his hand around it with my own hand.

We stare at our hands for a moment longer until the silence becomes too much and he speaks. "So… I win?"

I look up and see him grinning, and I roll my eyes, pretending to be annoyed but helpless to stop the smile spreading across my face. "Yes, Joshua, you win. You can take a nineteen thousand dollar loss on your car."

His grin widens. "That's all I ask."

I shake my head. "You're impossible."

"Adorable, not impossible."

"You think so, huh?"

"That's what I've been told."

"I think someone's been lying to you." I reach up and adjust his bowtie again. It's unnecessary, but things have been said that lead me to believe its ok. When I'm done with the imaginary adjusting, I put my palms on his chest for just a second before dropping them again. "We need to get down to the ballroom."

He nods and I turn to leave just as he catches my hand with his, pulling me back around to face him. I look at him questioningly and he gives me his 'don't kill me, I'm too cute' smile that gets me nearly every time. Unless it's because he pissed off someone he's not supposed to piss off. And especially if that person is CJ. Anyway... it usually gets me and this is no exception. "Maybe we should…" he trails off and my mind immediately begins wandering. Kiss? Yes. Have sex against the desk? Yes. Go to the state dinner? Oh yeah, forgot about that.

"We should what?" I ask with a shy smile.

He shrugs a little. "You know… take us out for a test drive." Ok, so that's the last way I was expecting to hear it be said, and I try to hold back a laugh, I really do, but… come on. He goes from cautiously optimistic to indignant in the span of an instant. "Hey!"

"I'm sorry, but…" still laughing here. "You're bringing out the clichés? Now?"

"At least I'm bringing it up," he screeches. "You were just going to walk out of here after…" he starts gesturing around the room and I find it even harder not to laugh.

"After what?" I ask innocently.

He stares at me. "You know damn well what!"

"Well I couldn't bring it up."

This answer shocks him. "Why the hell not?"

"Because I'm the woman." Duh.

"And …"

"And I need to be wooed."

His eyebrows reach his hairline. "By me?" he screeches.

I chuckle at him. "Of course by you."

"I have to woo you now?"

"You haven't already?"

"No!" he shouts. "Wait… have I?"

I smile at him, stepping a little closer. "You just gave me your car so I'd be safe. That's sounds an awful lot like wooing to me."

"But I… I didn't do that so you'd…"

"Take you out for a spin?"

"Donna!" he screeches.

"It's your cliché. I'm just following along."

"No! So you'd…" He takes a deep breath and speaks quietly. "I didn't give you the car so you'd… you know."

I smile softly at him. "Yes, I do know."

He smiles back for a second and then suddenly an alarmed look comes over his face. "That's not why you're… is it?"

I'm trying so hard not to laugh at him, but he's having a nutty. "Why I'm what Josh? You haven't even kissed me yet."

Now he looks like a dear in the headlights, which frankly, is a term I don't fully understand. "You want me to?"

"Are you really this bad at this?"

"Yes! You want… I can…" His voice turns to awe. "We're going to kiss?"

"Not because you gave me your car."

His brow furrows. "So we're not going to kiss?"

I laugh. "No, we're going to kiss. It just doesn't have anything to do with the car."

He thinks about this for a second. "Ok. But… it still counts as wooing?"

"Yes Josh, it still counts."

"Ok," he says nodding. There's a brief pause and then, "Ok, I'm going to… you know." He's gesturing again.

"I'm waiting."

He leans in close to me, one of his hands on my waist. He smiles a gorgeous smile at me and then… "Wait."

"I'm going to die an old woman in this office waiting for you to kiss me."

"Jeez, Donna. In a hurry?" he asks me while chuckling. He walks around me and shuts the door, giving us a little privacy. Ahh… Josh thinking before acting…well that's new.

He comes back and puts one hand on my cheek, the other on my waist again, drawing circles on my dress there. And then, at 7:05 on a Friday night, Josh Lyman kisses me.

And kisses me…

And kisses me…

I, being the mature one, pull back after what can only be described as the most amazing kissing session of my life. He pulls me back, dipping his head for more kissing. Just as his lips touch mine, I remind him that we have a state dinner to attend.

"But this is more fun."

I pull back again and start wiping lipstick from his mouth. "A trip to the dentist is more fun than a state dinner."

"But kissing you is more fun than that too."

I smile. "That's good to know." I adjust his bowtie one more time and go out to my desk to get my compact and lipstick. He follows me out and watches as I fix my lips.

"So… can I… mess that up again later?"

I chuckle, but don't look at him. "You may."

"And… maybe… every day after that?"

This takes me by surprise. I feel myself blush as our eyes meet through the mirror in my compact. "That sounds like a good plan."

He smiles back at me and offers me his arm. I close my compact and take it, and we walk together to the ballroom where we're… nah, he's going to be in trouble for being late to the pre-dinner reception.

"You know," I say casually on our way there. "When I bought The Beast from my grandmother for ten dollars, I also..."

"Had sex in the backseat," he reminds me.

I laugh and shake my head in mock disgust. "I was going to say that I had to agree to have dinner with her once a week, but why am I not surprised that you've chosen to remember that other small fact?"

"Donna!" he screeches in a whisper sort of screech. You have to hear it to understand it. "You described in explicit detail a sexual encounter you had in the back seat of a car! You call that a small fact?"

I hit him lightly on the arm. "I did no such thing."

"Well… you mentioned it. That's close enough."

"Pervert."

"I'm not a pervert so much as I'm…"

"Imagining us christening my new Audi?"

He smirks at me and leans in close to my ear. "Don't be ridiculous, Donna; I'm imagining us christening both Audis."