Warnings: You're not getting any this time!

Notes: I have a really weird taste in my mouth, and yes, this was written at 5am again. There's a sequel to the Sandwich fic that'll be done soon. I hope you do write one for this couple, Spyder, it's my favourite!

The bits about Geiger are correct…I think. 'Aliens' was based on his work, for anyone who wants an example of it.

Thank-you's to the reviewers, you guys rock.

Shout at the Devil – Part 2

Bakura POV

Alright, forget our own strange little relationship – Seto and I are going to have some fun meddling. He's tired of Marik and my light not having a relationship. He won't say that, of course, he'll just goad me into suggesting that we do something about it because I like it when he's manipulative and he doesn't like things that involve helping people out being his idea. Even when they are his idea, he'll make sure it becomes my idea instead. Being unhinged as it is, and not as emotionally complex as him, I don't care. It can be my idea, even if it's actually his idea. Gods, I'm confusing myself today.

Unlike Seto and I, Marik and Ryou should have something of a normal relationship. I can picture them doing 'coupley' things, although I'm sure they won't be completely normal because none of us are. Take Otogi and Malik, those two have just succeeded in sending our science teacher running out of the school to his car so that he can call his therapist. I have no idea how they keep getting away with it, but somehow nobody has caught them yet. Right now they're talking casually about some band I've never heard of and lighting the gas taps. They don't even do that normally. I've seen other kids light gas taps before – they turn it right down and end up with this little flame, so as not to blow the place up. In this case, Malik turned it on as far as it would go; Otogi lit it with his lighter and a huge jet of flame shot across the classroom. People screamed. They are still screaming, but those two are just flipping the flame up and down, watching people try and escape from the room. When the flame's on high it blocks the door, which is something of a design fault.

While they're doing this, I'm sitting next to Seto with my headphones on, drawing a picture. I keep sliding it over to him every now and then so he can look at it and either nod or point out some bit he doesn't like. I don't know what it's going to be yet, but it involves a lot of teeth and vertebrae. Seto said it looked like something Geiger would draw, but I don't know who that is. I'll get him to explain it in a minute, but right now we're being quiet. I'm still sketching away on this bit of lined paper, and he's watching everything going on in the classroom without looking like he's paying much attention.

I like this drawing. Seto gave me the sheet of paper out of his notebook, he does that sometimes when I need something to focus on. He doesn't say anything; he just stares at me for a minute then very neatly rips a page out of his book and slides it over to me. I can't remember what I used to do before he was there to do things like that for me. I know I must have done something, but I can't remember what. It doesn't really matter anyway.

I draw something with curves that could be blades, or maybe wings. I'm not sure yet. Anyway, I shade that in and realise how obsessive-compulsive I must look, headphones blocking everything out, hunched over this drawing while Malik and Otogi are almost burning down the classroom and everyone is running around like it matters. I draw back a little to look down at the page as a whole, then turn it sideways and decide I like it better from that angle. I slide it over to Seto and he looks down, taking his time inspecting it critically. He's not the type of person who'd just glance it over and say 'that's nice', or 'well done.' It's something to admire about him.

He looks at me and has something to say, so I flip the headphones down and wait.

"Do you know what it is yet?" He asks, still looking at it. I look at it too, and it's this black, twisted mass of bones, tubes and jagged bits of metal.

"I don't think it's anything." I tell him. He seems satisfied with that, because he nods once. It's finished now, so he takes it and puts it in his briefcase, under the strap in the lid. He has a few of my pictures in there. I don't think he's keeping them for any sentimental reason – he just has them there in case I ever want them back, or if I ever decide what they are. He doesn't let me throw them away because that would be pointless, and he doesn't like pointless things. I wouldn't really want to throw them away anyway, so they just stay in his briefcase. There's only a few.

"Where's Marik?" I ask, leaning my elbows on the table. Seto flicks his eyes over to where Marik is working on talking to my light without terrifying him. There's something very fragile about Ryou that draws Marik in, like it's a challenge. Hold this expensive vase and try not to break it, and you know he's going to. You also know he'll sit there and spend hours picking up all the little pieces and gluing them back together until it's perfect and you can't even see the cracks anymore. I'm not sure what Ryou thinks about it. Nobody really knows what he thinks, but I'm probably the most likely to. All I can tell is that he's not certain yet, and like me he needs a counterbalance. He's weak and fragile – Marik is strong and dangerous. I'm chaos and insanity – Seto is order and…well, sane in his own way, if anybody is. It's all a matter of filling in the gaps. Seto and I work like clock parts, Marik and Ryou would in their way if they'd just do it already. I'm starting to understand what Marik feels when he watches Seto and I. Frustration, mostly. We're just lacking the physical element of our relationship, and that's because we just haven't done it yet. Simple, but true. With Marik and Ryou they're lacking the entire relationship. I'm blaming Ryou, because at least Marik is trying not to terrify him simply by being there.

"Do you think it'll work?" I ask Seto, gesturing to where Marik and Ryou are. He knows what I mean – the relationship between those two. He stares at them thoughtfully for a while, then his eyes slide back to me. He has something on his mind; I don't think it's about those two. I'll add it to my list of things to say when I feel like they should be said.

"Yes." He says. He doesn't need to expand on that. I'll take it in good faith that he has a reason for believing those two should be together. It's probably pretty much the same as my reasons, only far more eloquent.

"Who is Geiger?" I ask, idly watching Malik doing something with the chemicals Otogi keeps passing him. I think they're just randomly mixing them together to see what'll happen. The gas tap is still burning, but everyone is used to it now and the rest of the class is sort of standing around in their groups, talking. The Pharaoh is with his friends and they're saying something about Ryou; they keep glancing over at him. This is where our meddling will probably come in – the Pharaoh seems to want to stop Marik getting his hands on my light. We'll have to do something about that. It's amusing that Ryou has absolutely no say in this.

"Geiger was an artist. His drawings were like yours. He went insane." Seto tells me, watching to see how I'll react to that.

"Will I go insane?" I ask, quite casually. I'm on the verge as it is.

"No." He goes back to watching everyone. "I won't let you."

Again, this could be mistaken for romantic words, if slightly twisted. What it actually is - is Seto having set his mind to a goal. He's not going to let me lose it because he's said so, and letting me go crazy would make him look bad. I'm far more reassured by this than if he'd just said it to be sweet. I know just from the way he is that he'll force-feed me lithium if he has to. Then again, I don't think he'd let it get that far - he'll just do little things like give me a sheet of paper to draw on when I need something to keep my mind busy.

For a little while longer we watch Malik and Otogi, and I get the feeling they're up to something. Malik keeps looking at his watch and they're both grinning far more than usual. I think that's what Seto's worried about. Well, worried is a strong word. It's what's on his mind other than Marik and Ryou, anyway.

I watch Ryou now, and suddenly he gives Marik this shy little smile. I'm sure Seto caught it because he doesn't miss things, but the Pharaoh caught it too because his whole gang start moving slowly around the worktops towards the corner that Ryou and Marik have to themselves.

"Are we going to let them ruin it?" I say to Seto, amused. I feel like a God again today.

"No." He answers, and we get up to place ourselves conveniently right in the way. We look like we're just standing there watching Malik and Otogi's idiocy, but we're actually blocking the Pharaoh and his friends from getting anywhere near Marik and Ryou. Marik knows and flashes us a quick grin before going back to talking to Ryou, who has no idea what's going on. My light seems content enough to just talk to Marik though; I think whatever that idiot is saying to him must be working.

The Pharaoh, leading his friends like a flock of sheep, comes to a stop next to us. He won't ask us to get out of the way; we don't have polite conversation on that level. He's still pissed off that Marik and I are even alive, but he's too scared to kill us because of what Seto would probably do to him. I don't even know if he could kill me. Even if he managed it, he's never managed to make me stay dead for long. I'd probably just turn up to class the next day like it never happened, and he'd go insane after the fourth or fifth time.

"Hey, Kaiba." Jounouchi greets Seto, sneering.

"Dog." Seto greets him back flatly, looking bored. He thinks it's really funny how easily he can piss Jounouchi off – he just has to be in the same room.

Before he can start protesting that he's not a dog in that annoying accent, which is what always happens when he's in the same half of the room as Seto, the Pharaoh's light shuts him up with this truly pathetic look. It's like 'please don't be angry and start a fight, or I'll be sad and my eyes will water and then maybe I'll cry or something.' Pharaoh sees me staring at his light and steps in front of him, like I'll hurt him or something. He doesn't understand me at all, I would hurt him, but it'd be a lot more inventive than just beating the shit out of him in the middle of science class because the Malik and Otogi got rid of the teacher. Or maybe I wouldn't hurt him. I'm not sure, I'd have to talk it through with Seto until I made my mind up. I make a note to do that later, and smile at the Pharaoh because he wasn't expecting me to.

"I don't know why you stick with them, Kaiba." Pharaoh says, glaring pointedly at me. He won't say anything about Ryou, because that would mean admitting that we caught him trying to sneak over there. He really wants Ryou to go join his little club of best friends – this is after ignoring him for a year – because we got Otogi. Otogi was almost in there with them until he hooked up with Malik and realised that we're a lot more interesting. Ryou doesn't want to go play nice with them. We had words about this. No, I didn't threaten him; he actually said he doesn't like them. Of course, he put it a lot more delicately than that, but the gist of it is that we actually like him and the Pharaoh only wants him to even the score. I think he feels used, or something, but I don't care that much. I just like that we got yet another one over on the Pharaoh, and our war has gone from blood and magic to this. It makes me laugh, because some days it's just as brutal but a lot more subtle.

Seto is just staring at the Pharaoh coldly, not saying anything. They had their chance to try and have Seto, but apparently he found me a lot more interesting. That really annoyed the Pharaoh.

Otogi is standing up on the desk now, doing something with his lighter and some paper. Malik is looking at his watch again, and I glance up at Seto to see what he thinks of this. He watches them for a moment, then turns to me, ignoring the Pharaoh completely now because he doesn't care about them anymore.

"We should go outside." He says. I'm beginning to have some vague idea what's going on, and I agree with him. I nod, then turn and take a few steps over to Marik, tapping him on the shoulder.

"We're going outside." I tell him, in that special tone that means 'come outside if you value your life.' He shrugs and takes Ryou's hand, leading him off towards the door. My light doesn't seem upset, so I think today has been wholly successful for Marik. Taking one last look up at Otogi, who's now managed to set the paper on fire and is waving it underneath the smoke alarm, I follow Seto out of the classroom, along the empty corridors and outside. He keeps walking once we get there and he usually knows best, so I keep following. We end up right at the end of the school field, standing under a tree and facing the school. Marik and Ryou are with us, and they both jump when all the smoke alarms start going off. After about thirty seconds we watch people start pouring out of the school, and Malik and Otogi run up to us, grinning.

"Is that it?" I ask, not impressed.

"Nope. Wait exactly…" Malik looks at his watch again, "three minutes."

Three minutes later, we're still standing under the tree and everyone else at the school – including the teachers – is milling about on the field waiting for the all clear to go back inside. I've guessed what's going to happen by now, and I think Seto knew ages ago. He leans back against the tree and I lean back against him – that way if either of us jumps we can smirk at the other.

There's nothing for a few moments after the three minutes, and Marik looks like he wants to say something, but then the school explodes. I have no idea where Malik and Otogi got that kind of explosive power, but the whole building suddenly just bulges out, and all the windows shatter. Then there's this amazing noise that makes my ears ring, and the whole place is just fire and dust. Chunks of plaster and bricks are flying everywhere, and a huge dust cloud shoots out and covers up everyone who was standing too close. Malik and Otogi are laughing like little kids, and Ryou is clinging to Marik because he just damn near jumped out of his skin. I didn't and neither did Seto, but he smirks at me because he knows I was making an effort not to jump. Either way I lose, but I don't mind.

So, Malik and Otogi finally blew up the school. And you just know they're going to get away with it. Pharaoh and his friends are covered in dust and glaring at us from over by the road where the fire trucks are pulling up, but they look better all grey and shell-shocked anyway. Since we're all sheltered under this tree none of us got a scratch and we just stand there a while longer, watching everyone running around trying to put the fires out. Malik and Otogi are sitting on the grass eating sandwiches like it's a picnic, and Ryou is sitting on Marik's lap now. He seems to have gotten over it fast, but he always knew they'd do it anyway. It shouldn't have come as any big surprise.

Marik looks pleased because he doesn't have to go to school for a while, and he got Ryou. Pretty much.

As for me, I'm trying to figure out if getting kissed by Seto while the dust cloud that was our school settles is too…normal for us. I turn around and ask him about this, and he thinks about it for a minute. Then he seems to decide that it's finally a good moment, and I'm getting pressed up against the tree so he can kiss me. He's right – it is a good moment, so I kiss him back and the day has gone well, I think.

End

Why do I write at 5am? I don't know if I make less sense or more sense then.