Kingdom Hearts – 101 Ways to Cure Boredom

By whitewingedsoldier

Rated: T

(White runs on stage, dragging Sora and Riku along)

Sora: Ow, hey, QUIT IT! cries

Riku, sighing: Moron.

Sora: Shuddap!

Riku: Make me!

White, sweatdrops: Aaaanyway...we're just here to tell you that—

Sora, suddenly brightening: --that White doesn't own Kingdom Hearts, Square-Enix, or US! SO HA!

White, pouting: Dammit.

Riku: C'mon Sora, let's go get a shake.

Sora: Alright!

Chapter 1 – We're Bored!

The sun was shining, it was a warm day, and the ocean looked just as inviting as ever. Ah, yes, it was a wonderful day to be alive. Except...

Sora and Riku were bored out of their minds.

And when they're bored out of their minds, it's literal. At the moment, they were sitting across from each other on the sand, eyes staring blankly, poking one another with random sticks.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

Poke.

"What are we doing!" Sora suddenly jumped up and hurled his stick to oblivion, distracted momentarily as he watched it soar away. He wondered how far it had landed. Where was it, anyway?

Somewhere far away...

Cloud fainted dead away as a stick smashed into the side of his head. Aeris whipped out her cell phone and called 911, the FBI, and Domino's Pizza.

Back on Destiny Islands...

Riku blinked as he watched Sora fall into a fit of hysterics, screaming about sticks, boredom and more sticks. He didn't say a word until finally, Sora quieted. "Finished?" Sora nodded silently. "Good." Riku smacked Sora forcefully with his stick and then sent it flying. It, too, sailed out of sight.

Somewhere else far away...

Tidus choked on the cheeseburger he was eating as a stick smashed into his side. Wakka attempted to perform the Heimlich Manuever as Selphie dashed to the phone and called 911, the CIA, and Taco Bell.

Again, back on Destiny Islands...

"Now that we're finished mauling people with sticks, can we find something to do?" Sora whined, clinging to Riku's leg as the silver-haired teen walked across the beach. "Only if you promise to be quiet as we figure it out. And let go of me." Sora received a smack upside the head for his trouble. Whimpering, he released Riku and sank to following him as they searched for Kairi.

As Sora and Riku rounded the corner, with Sora still clutching his aching head and crying occasionally, they heard the sound of someone singing. And it wasn't...that great, either. "Shh, listen." Riku bent down and Sora followed suit, as they listened to the mysterious voice. It sounded like a female's. And as they listened, they heard:

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea,

Spongebob Squarepants!

Absorbant and yellow and porous is he,

Spongebob Squarepants!

Whose nautical nonsense is something you wish,

Spongebob Squarepants...

This went on for several more verses until Sora snapped and began to sing along. Riku clapped his hands over his ears and shut his eyes, thinking, please let it stop, please let it stop...

Sora, who was now dancing around in random circles to the song, managed to trip and fall over nothing (except maybe his shoes; those are big!) and land on the other side of the boulder he and Riku were hiding behind. Spitting sand from his mouth, he waved and yelled, "HI KAIRI!" Riku's eyes snapped open and he ran out from behind the boulder to find Kairi carving a pineapple on the other side.

"Hi Sora, hi Riku." She waved to them and then went back to carving her fruit. Riku blinked and Sora offered to help. That was, until something came flying through the air and smashed into Sora's head.

Sora fell facedown into the sand, twitching occasionally and muttering something about chocolate chip cookies. Standing a little ways away were Cloud and Tidus, armed with coconuts and looking murderous. "Throw the next one a little harder," Cloud urged Tidus, who nodded and loaded his patented coconut cannon™ with the next missile.

Riku blinked again and backed away, amazed that someone like Tidus could invent such a thing. Cloud pulled back his arm to throw the next coconut, but tripped over his cape and fell to the ground. Tidus chose that time to randomly fall asleep where he stood and fall over on top of Cloud. Sora, who had by now gotten up from the ground, stared at them with eyes the size of dinner plates. "Does that mean we win?" Riku and Kairi stared at him. "Uh...yes, Sora. It does." Sora jumped up happily. "Yay! This calls for a celebration!" He pulled out a bar of chocolate and ran off with it, taking a big congratulatory bite as he did so.

Riku and Kairi exchanged blank looks.

The End – Day One

(A/N: So, how'd you like it? Not bad for my first try at a KH fanfic I'll post the next chapter with the accepted amount of reviews. Flames will be used to cook next morning's breakfast for Sora and co. Happy reading!)