Hurky: OMFG! Sorry for not updating in so long!!
Riku: Too much has happened for Hurk here. Now I'm back with a vengeance!!!!!
Disclaimer: Just to remind you, Hurky doesn't own Kingdom Hearts or any of the stuff she has Riku make fun of. Such as the Real Life vs Internet. That is from Red vs. Blue, which she doesn't own. She does own Hurky and Y Que Mas. It was totally her idea.
Kairi walked into an office where Riku was trying to do his math homework before his show. He had his yellow vest off because it was too warm and he was drinking a Monster energy drink.
"Hey Riku, I've got a question for you," said Kairi, pulling a chair and sitting in it.
"Sure, go ahead." said Riku, looking at his Algebra book and trying to write down an equation to solve.
"Is it okay if we can say, 'You're ugly,' on the show?" asked Kairi.
"Of course." said Riku. He stopped writing and put down his pencil. He looked up from his paper. "What makes you think you can't say that?"
"No reason," said Kairi. Riku looked down at his homework again. A wide grin spread across Kairi's face and she stood up and turned to the door. "Hey, Sora! Riku said it's okay to say he's ugly on the show!!!"
Riku looked up from his textbook. "WHAT?" he screamed in surprise and anger.
Kairi giggled and ran out of the room.
"Damn it, Kairi!" yelled Riku, slamming his textbook closed. He looked at the clock and saw that it was time to do a show. "Oh snap! I better get out there!"
He grabbed his yellow vest from a chair, put it on, and ran out the door.
Meanwhile, on the show, the audience was waiting for Riku to come on. Ryo walked onstage and took a mic.
"Ladies and gentlemen, here's Riku!" she boomed as Riku ran in. The audience cheered and applauded and Riku grinned, forgetting the ugly incident with Kairi. He figured that he'll get even with her one of these days.
"Hey guys!" he yelled. The audience stopped clapping as Riku began to talk. "I know it's been a very long time since I did stuff on the show. Hurk's had too many things happening in her life, so it's been hectic. It's resulted her in getting writer's block. Multiple times. But now, she's back with a vengeance!"
The audience cheered.
"Okay now!" said Riku, putting his hands together. "In the time it took for Hurky to get around to updating this fic, I was surfing the internet a lot. Now, there are some pretty cool things on the internet, like how you get to connect with people all around the universe, going shopping, and watching awesome videos! But! There are some not-so-cool things online!"
Sora groaned. "Riku, you're gonna whine about the internet?" he asked.
"No duh, Sherlock!" Riku said. He turned back to the audience. "I'm going to compare real life to the online life!"
The screen behind him changed and there showed the words: Real Life: Meeting people.
Riku walked up to Namine on paopu island.
"Hey there." he greeted, pretending not to know Namine and had a different name. "My name's Josh, What's yours?"
"My name's Jessica," replied Namine, pretending to be someone who didn't know Riku and had a different name.
"So, you wanna go out with me?" asked Riku.
"Okay!" replied Namine happily.
Online Life: Meeting people.
Riku goes up to Namine again on the island.
"Hey there." he said. "My name's Josh, what's yours?"
"Jessica!" replied Namine, lip syncing to Roxas' voice. "I'm a girl! Wanna chat?"
"No you're not!" Riku cried and pointing to Namine. "You're a dude!"
"No, I'm a chick! Kiss me!!" said Namine/Roxas.
Riku just scoffed and walked off.
Real Life: Writing a Journal
Riku sat on his stomach on his bed, writing in a small black notebook.
Dear Journal, he wrote. Today, I saw Ryo out fishing and I began to run as fast as I could before she could see me! But it was too late! She saw me and started chasing me! I ran through the seaside shack, the paopu island, even to the secret place, but that's where she got me and then started kissing me all over my face!! GROSS!
He closed the book, put it under his mattress, and sighed. "No one will ever read this." he said, feeling a sense of security.
Online: Writing a Journal.
Once again, Riku was lying on his stomach, on his bed and writing in the same black book.
Dear Journal, he wrote. Today, I saw Ryo out fishing and I began to run as fast as I could before she could see me! But it was too late! She saw me and started chasing me! I ran through the seaside shack, the paopu island, even to the secret place, but that's where she got me and then started kissing me all over my face!! GROSS!
Then, he got off the bed, went downstairs, went outside, and held up his opened book.
"HEY EVERYBODY! READ MY JOURNAL ENTRY!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
Hurky and Kairi walked up to Riku and read the journal entry.
"Well, I think Ryo's gonna be going crazy once she reads this!" said Kairi with a snicker.
Real Life: Checking mail
Riku was standing outside of his house, checking through the mail that the mailman had dropped into the mailbox. Riku was sorting through the mail.
"Bills, bills...junk mail..." he mumbled, shuffling through the envelopes and flyers for what was going to be on sale in the supermarket until he saw a glossy paper with colorful pictures of Mexican food. "Hey! A flyer for Y Que Mas!! Ooh! And it has a coupon! 'Buy one burrito and get one free!!'"
He gleefully ran into his house, put the rest of the mail on the coffee table, got out a pair of scissors, cut the coupon, went back outside, got in his car, and drove to Y Que Mas, which was a Mexican restaurant. There are several chains thoughout the universe. It was formerly known as El Crazy Loco Burrito, but someone bought it and changed the name to Y Que Mas (Hurky: If you speak Spanish and know what it means and have read the Dude Where's stories where they order from the restaurant, you'll know what it means. Thanks for the translation, Alexa!).
Online Life: Checking mail
Riku was once again in the same setting, shuffling through envelopes.
"Spam...spam..." said Riku as he tossed letters from companies wanting Riku to buy their products. "What the-? 'You're fat!! The only solution to your weight problem is to buy our product now, Fatty!!' Hell no! 'Hi, I am royalty from Bjhssgoijhkfoiajfmk! Send me munny if you want to be named my apprentice...' Peh. In your dreams. 'Hey baby, looking for someone in your world to hook up with? Try our site and we'll give you a laptop!' What am I to these people? A loner? I already have Ryo chasing me, that's enough as it is. 'Want whiter teeth? Click here!' No thanks, I already have pearly whites!" He grinned, flashing his shiny white teeth.
Suddenly, a random guy with shaggy brown hair, glasses, wearing a suit and tie came up to Riku. "Uh, hi. Are you Riku Thompson?" he asked in a nervous sounding voice.
"Yes I am," replied Riku.
The guy took a deep breath. "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE THE 1 BILLIONTH VISITOR TO OUR SITE TODAY! CLICK HERE TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!" he yelled a the top of his lungs and holding out a button in his hand saying, Click Here!
Riku shook his head. "Tsk tsk tsk. You spammers never learn." he said. He got out a trash can and went to the guy and gave him a wedgie. Then, he picked the guy up and tossed him in the trash can. The closed the lid and dusted his hands off. "Besides, I don't recall going on your site at all."
Back on the show, everyone was applauding and Riku was laughing. "Man, that was the fun part." he said when the applause stopped. "Throwing someone in a trash can!"
"Riku!" yelled a voice.
Riku turned to his left and saw Sora frantically running up to him with a laptop in his hands. He reached Riku and set the laptop down on a nearby table.
"What's up, Sora?" asked Riku.
"You're not going to like what you're about to see!" Sora said in a panicky voice as he clicked on his web browser, typed in a search engine, clicked images, and typed in Sora and Riku.
"Uh, you're going to show me pics of us in our best hero poses?" Riku asked, feeling annoyed that Sora was wasting his time to show him something he's probably seen before.
Sora snorted. "No, this is different." he said. He got his results and showed Riku the pages. Riku couldn't believe what he saw.
"OMFG!!" he cried, shielding his eyes. "CLOSE THE WINDOW!"
The audience was confused. Some talked to each other. Others shifted uncomfortably in their seats, while more people scratched their heads in confusion.
Sora quickly hit the close button, but then the screen froze up and was taking forever to close!
Kairi walked onto the stage and shook her head in disbelief. "They should be glad that I didn't show those steamy yaoi pics we found!" she said.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" cried both Sora and Riku at the same time. Apparently, they heard what Kairi had said.
"I said steamy yaoi pics!" Kairi repeated, but this time, she yelled it.
"THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!" cried Riku. "I'm going to go disconnect the internet for good! It's ruined our lives!"
"No way!" cried Hurky. "It's made my life better! It's given me stuff to do when I'm bored! And look at all the friends I made!"
A guy in the audience stood up. "She's right! I cheat on my homework with it!!" he yelled.
Everyone was silent. Crickets chirped. Someone else in the audience coughed.
"Uh, I guess you could say that," Hurky said slowly. "But Riku, you can't destroy the internet! What do you think people are using to read this?"
Riku thought for a minute. "Hmm. She's right. People are online, reading this!" he said. Then, he came to realization. Nobody could read Mind of Riku without it. "Ah! Then I shall not destroy the internet! Well then, that's all I have for my show today! Hurky hopes to write a better chapter with some better ideas. Sorry if this chapter sucked! Thanks for reading!"