A Lonely Lady by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. Daniel is feeling lonely and tries to find a solution.
Spoilers: All seasons, including 9.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

A Lonely Lady

Chapter 1

For the last few months Daniel had found it harder and harder to go back home in the evenings. He could not pinpoint the exact moment when it had become that bad, but there was no going back. Though he had pulled all-nighters and stayed remarkably late at the SGC for years, it had always been due to the excessive load of work he had had as the head of two of the most important departments of the Stargate Program, Linguistics and Historical Research. Now, he was making up reasons not to go home.

He was not sure what had driven him to buy a new house –perhaps the memories of Sarah/Osiris attacking him in his bedroom– save for the need to avoid living again in a cramped apartment. However, his new house was big, too big. He had recently read an article in the newspaper about the tendency in the United States to buy bigger homes for smaller families, but he did not even have a family. He actually did not have anyone.

Jack had been his best friend since his return from Abydos, but Jack had been slowly distancing himself from the members of SG-1 right in front of him. After so many years of complaining about the establishment, Jack was now one of the most visible heads of that establishment and, no matter how many times he tried to justify it by assuring them that it was the best way to keep them in business, Daniel kept feeling it as a sort of betrayal. Daniel might not be the same idealistic man that had crossed the gate for the first time –the incident with Khalek had proven that to him beyond any doubt– but he still maintained a high set of standards for his relationships. What hurt him the most and had clearly cooled his friendship with Jack, in spite of his sporadic calls and visits to the SGC, had been how "the general" –as they usually called him now– had treated Sam. Everybody in the program knew –and Daniel better than anyone else– that Jack had cultivated for years an "it's not possible now, but we can get there if we wait" relationship with Sam. The flirting, the looks, the pauses, the brief moments they spent in silence, just communicating something not understood by the others, had become more often and more public with the years, right up until when, finally, the rules and regulations had suddenly allowed space for a true relationship. Right then and there, everything had stopped. Now, Jack was in Washington and there had been nothing, nothing at all, that could have encouraged Sam to have hopes for a future with him. Daniel had gradually seen resignation replace Sam's dreams and, even though at the beginning she had been willing to talk about it with him, lately she had closed the door on the subject and had stopped discussing it at all. Daniel could not stand to see the pain in her eyes.

Sam was also as good a friend as Jack, but friends do not wait for you at home after a hard day at work or warm you up at night. Daniel could see how the whole Prometheus/Pete incident had resulted from a wake up call from Sam's mind to remind her that she was throwing away her chances at being a mother –and Daniel knew she wanted to have that opportunity– and at having a "normal" family. She had discarded that chance with Pete in the hopes of getting Jack, but Agent Johnson, first, and Jack's silence, later, had demolished those hopes. Daniel was sure that Sam, sooner or later, would find someone else to occupy that space in her life and, then, he would be on his own. It would be hard to spend the evening watching movies and sharing take-out with your best friend, when she had her own husband and children to take care of her.

Teal'c had been at the beginning an improbable friend, but with time the bond between him and Daniel had deepened and strengthened beyond what either one of them had expected. Daniel was certain that nobody understood him better than Teal'c and also knew that he could see through to Teal'c's soul better than any of their friends. Most of the time they did not need words to communicate and, every time they shared a session of Kelno'reem, Daniel felt the connection deepen. Unfortunately (for Daniel), Teal'c had a role to play in the new Jaffa nation and also a possible future with Ishta; that meant Teal'c's time on Earth was running out.

Who else was there in Daniel's life? He certainly had no hope of ever seeing his grandfather alive again, Catherine and Ernest were long dead, and Cassie had started her own independent life after entering college. Though Sam and Daniel tried to fill the void Janet's death had left in Cassie's life, she did not see them as any more than dear friends. That left Cameron Mitchell, with whom Daniel had started a solid friendship. He liked the ever-positive attitude of the new leader of SG-1 and he enjoyed his frankness; it was uplifting after years of Jack's "I'm dumb" game. However, Daniel knew Cam's secret; he was crazily in love with General's Landry's daughter, Dr. Carolyn Lam, and he would not rest until he had conquered all the barriers that the troubled doctor had erected around herself.

Daniel could see how soon all his friends would have lives beyond the SGC. What he could not see was how he was going to get one for himself. He needed to fill the void, but he was not ready to throw himself into the dating arena. He had never had difficulty meeting women; he evidently had the good looks that ensured he would be noticed, especially after his years at the SGC gym. The shyness that had been part of his personality in his early years was almost not noticeable anymore. Seen too much; done too much. He simply did not feel like dating; he did not want to have to lie to anyone close to him about his daily life at work.

In his worse moments of desperation he even missed Vala. She had been annoying and insufferably brash, but she had brought some kind of freshness to their lives. She was different. She was passionate. She had singled him out among all the other men at the Prometheus –even the members of SG-3– and, in spite of all the jokes his friends loved to make, he had defeated her, he had overpowered her and retaken control of the ship. She had not escaped from him; she had escaped from the cell and the guards the military had imposed on her. Then she had come back looking for him. After she had been burned to death and come back to life in his arms, Daniel had seen another side of Vala, the vulnerable, pained side of her, the one she so carefully hid from everybody else. Now, he was feeling so lonely that he would have settled for her.

Late in the afternoon one Friday, on his way home, he spotted a small nursing home, less than five miles from his house. He had seen it before, but today an idea had crossed his mind after seeing it. How many other lonely people lived in there? Maybe if he could help one of them, he would find his life outside the SGC less useless. He drove home, changed into some comfortable and casual clothes, picked up a couple of interesting books, and went back toward the nursing home.

They received him with open arms. A volunteer? Most certainly welcome. He filled out a couple of forms and he was on his way to see Dottie, a seventy-eight year old lady who was recovering from hip surgery. Confined in her room during her recovery, she had not had much company in the last days. Daniel walked confidently to her room and soon he was talking animatedly with the old lady. She was curious about his life and he related his cover story as he had learned it at the SGC.

The following weeks became special for Daniel. He looked forward to seeing Dottie all week long. Their Friday meetings turned into the highlight of his week. For a month and a half he was able to keep his appointment with her. They read books together; they talked about the news from around the world, and, when her health allowed it, they took nice walks under the fall-colored trees in the yard of the nursing home.

On his seventh week, Daniel was off-world with no chances of coming back on time for his date. He laboriously worked to convince Walter Harriman to take his place, until the sergeant finally agreed. Daniel vowed that he would schedule a replacement for himself every week, in case he could not make it.

When he saw Dottie on his eighth date, she was curious about what an interpreter with the Air Force could have to do on a Friday night.

"You have to tell me, Daniel. I understand; you're a young man and I'm sure she's a pretty lady. Why would you stand her up to come see this old woman?"

Daniel patiently explained, one more time, that he had not skipped his visit to go out on a date. He even added that he was not seeing anyone and that he had no plans for it. That was the beginning of the disaster. Dottie and her friends –who had progressively started to join them for their evenings together– initiated a fierce campaign to find a girlfriend for Daniel. "No way such a beauty of a man should go untaken," one of them had justified their efforts. They set him up for blind dates with doctors, nurses, administrative personnel, and even delivery ladies at the nursing home. Then they started throwing daughters, nieces, granddaughters, and former neighbors in the mix. Daniel felt he spent more time dodging dates than working for the SGC. He finally came with a plan to fix his problems; it was true that he was feeling lonely, but he wanted to find the right woman on his own.

"Sam, I need your help, desperately," he told his best friend one morning at the base cafeteria.

"All right. What do you need?" Sam asked with a smile looking at true desperation in Daniel's eyes.

"You know I've been visiting an old lady at the nursing home near my house for the last teen weeks, right?" he asked and Sam nodded. "Well, everything was going great; I enjoyed very much going there every Friday after work. Dottie is a very smart lady and her friends are very agreeable. We read books, watched movies, talked; I even took five of them to a restaurant one night and we had a great meal. It was perfect, until-"

"Until what?" Sam was curious to know.

"Until they decided to get me married."

"With one of them?" Sam thought to ask.

"No. They've been introducing me to all these nice women, of varying ages and professions, and setting me up in blind dates. I don't think they have anything else to do!" Sam had to make an effort to keep from laughing. She thought it was very funny how hard Daniel was taking it. "All the dates have been fine; I've met some very smart, beautiful, or interesting women in the last month."

"So, what's the problem?"

"The same as always. I cannot talk about my past, because they would find out about why I left my former job, think 'That's the crazy guy who thought the aliens landed on the pyramids', and run away."

"But you were right, Daniel," Sam interrupted.

"I cannot tell them that, either. I cannot explain what I really do for the Air Force, nor things like why this week I came in with a head injury. I have to lie all the time and no relationship is going to survive that."

"I know."

"That's why I need your help."

"What can I do?"

"I need you to come with me this Friday."

"Okay," Sam said with some hesitation, thinking that she would have to lie, too.

"You don't have to do anything; just go with me. I told Dottie that I had a friend, a colonel in the Air Force, and that I was thinking of exploring that relationship before engaging in more dating. You don't have to fake anything. I only said you were my best friend, not my girlfriend. I said I thought I had feelings for you, not you for me, so you just need to be my friend, as always. Is that all right?"

"Sure," Sam agreed.

"Great. Tomorrow evening, after work, I'll go pick you up at your house and drive you to the nursing home. Then, I'll take you back home. Thank you!" he finished, standing up and picking up all their waste from the table.

Sam sat there for a while longer, amused at the mess her friend had gotten himself into and wondering if this would help get him out of it.

Daniel started his next visit with Dottie by introducing Sam. Soon, the room was full of ladies who wanted to meet the girl who was troubling their Daniel's heart. They all enjoyed the visit. Sam proved to be an intelligent and kind woman and all the ladies gave their approval. Right after Daniel and Sam left, they started planning how they would ensure that the two ended up together.

Sam also enjoyed the visit. She hadn't expected to; actually, she had had no expectations at all for the visit. She was happily surprised. When they left the nursing home, she had a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling that they had done something positive with their day.

On the way to her house, they stopped at a small Italian restaurant and picked some take-out pasta for dinner. The days were becoming colder and warm food was a comforting thought.

After dinner was finished, Sam and Daniel sat on the carpet in her living room and started looking at her big pile of DVDs, searching for something they had not watched. Near midnight, they finished with the second movie and Sam relaxed on her end of the couch. She gave a deep sigh.

"What?" Daniel asked with a smile.

"This… This is so comfortable. Come home from work, have a nice dinner, relax, talk about interesting stuff with an intelligent partner-"

"Yeah, I enjoy it, too," Daniel said still smiling.

"But then we go our separate ways. Some days, I want someone who stays, who can snuggle in the cold nights and-" Sam sat up straight and looked at Daniel in the eyes. "You'll think I'm not too deep, but sometimes I really miss making love, you know, the comfort that it brings, the sensation of being alive and not alone anymore."

"I don't think that's shallow. I see it that way, too. I've always seen sex as the ultimate way of comfort, when you love someone so deeply that you give everything. That can quiet many pains."

Sam smiled at him. He was never judgmental of her; he always found something positive in everything she said. "Do you miss it, too, or you have- I'm sorry, that's none of my business. I shouldn't have asked,"

"Sam, it's all right. We already know so much about each other. I do; I miss it. I don't believe in casual sex and I don't believe that I would die if I don't have it. I just miss it. Like you said; it gets pretty cold some nights, and I'm not talking about winter."

"Do you still miss Sha're?"

"Yes, but it's not even Sha're anymore. She's been gone for too long. It's the sensation, the idea of deep connection, of sharing."

"After her?"

"Not much after Sha're. Well, you do remember Hathor, of course, but I never count her. Then, there was that night with Ke'ra," he sighed. "I really liked her; I felt she was extraordinary-" he smiled at Sam's expression. "Yeah, I know, Destroyer of Worlds, but Ke'ra was pure; she hadn't been there. We really needed each other that night; she was lost without her memory and I was lost without Sha're."

"I understand, Daniel. Don't think I'm judging you."

"I know and I appreciate it. But going back to my list –very short list– I only have to add Sarah. By the time you were dating Pete, we spent a couple of weeks together."

"I didn't know," Sam said surprised.

"Nobody knew, except General Hammond and your dad." Sam was even more surprised. "The Tok'ra thought she needed to spend some time with someone who knew her from before and after, and I was the only candidate. Making love came naturally; it was good for both of us. She needed to feel that she was fully human again, a beautiful and desirable woman, and I needed to be sure that Osiris was gone, that Sarah was back, that we had really saved her. It was very comforting. Then, she was taken by the Tok'ra for a while, to save her from the N.I.D., and now she's doing better and she doesn't need me anymore."

"I'm sorry, Daniel."

"No, don't be. I was not in love with her anymore; I just loved her and we needed each other at that time."

"Ah, sometimes I think that with these hard lives we have, we deserve at least to have someone who loves us, but I suppose we are not that different from anyone else."

"Well, we love each other. That's pretty good," Daniel said squeezing her arm.

"If we could have a little bit more-"

"You mean us? You and I together or you and I with someone else each?"

"I've lost hope of finding someone else any time soon," she smiled nervously. "Sometimes, I think –nothing complicated– just if we could-"

"If we could get to the point of making love without getting into a formal relationship?" Sam didn't move; she was afraid of answering. "I've thought about it," Daniel said more casually than she could have ever imagined.

"You have?"

"Well, it's kind of logical. We don't have many other people around us, we love each other deeply, and in nights like this, when we are both feeling sad and lonely, we could do much good to each other."

"You never said anything."

"There are negatives to it, too, Sam. You know. I wouldn't want it to destroy our friendship. You are too important to me. We may not enjoy it, not even like it a bit; perhaps there's not enough physical attraction to make it work. I wouldn't want awkwardness between us afterwards. And," he made an expressive pause, "we are not 'in love' with each other, and if one of us found that other special person, it could hurt the feelings of the other one."

"You really have thought about it."

"Yes, but you see why it's dangerous. That's why I have never brought it up."

Sam was quiet for a minute, thinking about his words, when he got up and started picking up his things. "Now, it's time for me to let you have some rest. This has been a hard week for all of us and we need to be ready for Monday. It's not going to get better." He already had his coat on; he leaned and kissed Sam on the forehead. "Thank you for coming with me today, Sammy, and thank you for the company tonight. It was a great night."

Before she could even come out of her surprise, he was gone. She picked up the rest of the stuff that was out of place and went to bed giving a new perspective to old thoughts. Her bed seemed colder than ever.