Disclaimer: I don't own Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
A/n: Just a cute little oneshot! Please review! Oh, and, as usual, flames will be thrown in the Chocolate River!
Ew! Just, Ew!
"Mr. Wonka!" I jumped about a foot into the air. Why did Charlie always sneak up on me like that? I had been in the Chocolate Room, doing my daily inspection, and he had just popped up out of nowhere! "You've got to quit sneaking up on me like that, 'cause it's kind of starting to bum me out," I said. "Sorry, Mr. Wonka," Charlie apologized. Then, suddenly, he looked away from me. "Um, Mr. Wonka, can I ask you a question?" he asked, sounding surprisingly nervous. "You just did, but you can ask another one if you'd like," I said.
"Well, I was just wondering if, um…." Charlie stammered. "You're starting to mumble," I said. "Mr. Wonka, have you ever been in love?" Charlie suddenly blurted out. I was so surprised by the question that I nearly fell into the Chocolate River (which would have been totally disgusting)! I laughed nervously. "You're really weird!" I said. "Mr. Wonka, you're not answering my question," Charlie said gently. "Oh, right. You wanted to know if I've ever been in l-l-, in l-l-…" I said, tripping over the "L" word. "Love," Charlie supplied. "Yeah, that," I agreed. "Well, have you?" Charlie asked.
"I most certainly have not!" I exclaimed. Then, I asked, "Why did you want to know, anyway?" "Well, because lately I've been wondering why you went to all that trouble with the Golden Tickets when you could have just gotten married and--" That was all I cared to hear. "MUMBLER!" I interrupted loudly. Seriously, I could not believe what Charlie was saying. I mean, k-k-k, um, touching someone else's lips with your own, is bad enough, but as for that other stuff…EW! Just, EW! Suddenly, an unpleasant memory popped into my head…
"Did you know that Chocolate contains a property that triggers the release of endorphins? Gives one the feeling of being in love." "You don't say?"
"Mr. Wonka, are you all right? You look like you're going to throw up!" Charlie said, sounding alarmed. "Girls are icky! They give you cooties and…and they're just icky!" I blurted out. "Are you thinking about the incident with Violet Beauregarde's mother?" Charlie asked gently. I felt another wave of nausea pass over me. "EW! Please, don't remind me!" I exclaimed. "Sorry, Mr. Wonka," said Charlie. "Lets' head over to the Inventing Room, 'kay?" I said, changing the subject. I'd had enough of talking about girls and l-l-l- emotional attachment. EW! Just, EW!