Title: Unexpected
Rating: PG-13, maybe light R
Disclaimer: If I owned South of Nowhere or anything related to it, I would definitely not be sitting here writing fanfic.
Feedback: Please, please, PLEASE!
Author's Note: I'm not sure where this fic came from, and I'm not even sure that it's any good, but I sat down with a goal to write something out of the ordinary for me. This is what came of it. Spencer 3rd person POV, post Friends With Benefits. Flashbacks are in italics. Also, I stole a quote from Pacey on Dawson's Creek. Kudos if you can figure out what it is…
Even in the dark she could make out every single one of her features. Every curve, mark, or out-of-place hair; she had spent her night (and, in all honesty, a substantial portion of her day) memorizing them. She knew it sounded corny, but she was entranced by the way the moonlight was covering the other girl's body. Her reflecting was interrupted by unexpected conversation, and she was snapped out of her reverie.
"Can't sleep?"
"Feeling better?" Ashley had inquired, leaning in Spencer's doorframe like she belonged there.
Spencer had no answer for her unexpected visitor; she was never sick to begin with. For once, she was able to fool her M.D. mother into thinking she was ill enough to miss school. Ashley, apparently, was not so easily deceived. In Spencer's silence, she had moved from her perch at the doorway to the bed, sitting cautiously on the edge at the foot of the bed. "You look better," she noted. "You haven't seen me since Friday," Spencer accused. "Exactly." It was almost a whisper. Spencer's throat went dry and tied itself in knots. Where to begin?
In the darkness, Spencer smiled. She should have known Ashley wouldn't be asleep.
"Nah. Racing mind," she explained all too vaguely.
"What are you thinking about?" Ashley prodded.
Spencer had tried, and pathetically failed, to worm her way out of explaining her actions over the course of the last three days. She had been immature, rash, and a terrible friend--that much she was sure of. Bolting out of Ashley's house, avoiding phone calls…faking sick to avoid facing her at school.
"Just tell me what's going on with you, what you're thinking," Ashley had begged, her voice laced with a certain amount of desperateness. She was still carefully teetering on the edge of the bed, but was now right next to Spencer's torso. "I wish I knew," Spencer muttered, averting her eyes to another location, anywhere but at the girl next to her. "Spencer, I want to help you." "I know you do." Silence.
She wasn't giving up her answer that easily. "Stuff," she coyly revealed.
"Stuff, huh? That's deep, Spence," Ashley teased.
She had that coming. "Shut up."
"If it's any consolation, I can't sleep for the same reason."
"Spencer, please. I've been panicking ever since you walked out my door the other night. I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about what happened, what didn't happen. When you weren't in school today…" she trailed off, gathering her thoughts. "I had to come see you." Glancing at the clock, Spencer noted the time and concluded that Ashley hadn't even made it to lunchtime.
It was now or never. "Truth?" "Please." "The other night…when I said that I was thinking about you when I was kissing Aiden…I wasn't lying. I was thinking about you." She had to take a break; the creeping dryness and knots in her throat were returning. Why was this so hard? "Uh huh," Ashley gently encouraged, gently reaching over and touching Spencer's shoulder. "After I told you that, I couldn't believe it. I mean, it was just so unlike me to come right out and say something like that. And then when you told me you were thinking of me…" She stopped again. She immediately became focused on the sensation of her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth and a million ropes pulling on her throat. This time, Ashley remained silent.
"Thinking about stuff?" Spencer laughed.
"Yeah, you know, important things, like the troubles with the ozone layer, world peace, Los Angeles traffic…"
"Gee Ash, I never pictured you as such a humanitarian!"
"Yeah, well, that's me, Mother Theresa Number Two in the making," she joked, hiding herself further under the covers and obstructing Spencer's previous point of focal engagement.
Sarcasm, the ultimate defense mechanism. Freud was clueless.
Spencer knew she couldn't joke or twist her way out of this one, nor was she sure she even wanted to. She had been so distressed over the course of the last 2 and a half days that she wasn't sure she could handle bottling up these indecipherable thoughts any longer. "When you told me that, I had never felt so much hope and so much fear in my entire life." Tears were threatening, but she willed them away.
"You never have to be afraid of me," Ashley had reassured her. Spencer smiled sideways. "I know. I wasn't afraid of you. I was afraid of me." Ashley's face exhibited obvious confusion. "In that moment, I knew that my 'I think I like girls' dilemma was solved, because I knew I liked you liked you." Ashley opened her mouth to speak, but Spencer continued talking, feeling incredibly courageous for the first time in days. "And I wanted you to kiss me. So bad. But Aiden was there, and we had been playing that sick little game that I seriously for a minute thought was going to end in something really dirty, and it just felt…" "Cheap?" Ashley finished for her.
"That's so cheap!" Spencer accused. "You just joke your way out of my serious questions."
"Well, you don't answer mine, so I guess that makes us even, huh?"
"You," Spencer said plainly.
"Me?"
"I was thinking about you."
Spencer merely nodded. "God, Ashley, you're all I've been able to think about for the last three days! Do you know how terrifying that is?" she admitted.
The brunette was visibly shocked. Her eyes were shifting, her mouth slightly agape, desperately trying to formulate the right words. Spencer was uneasy. Ashley was quiet for too long. So, she just kept talking. "Ashley, I think I'm in l--" she was cut off. "I'm in love with you," Ashley had interjected.
"I knew it!" Ashley exclaimed. "You just can't get me off your mind. I know, it's okay; I have that effect on people."
"Is there a pin around here? I think I need to deflate your ego bubble," she feigned looking around the room.
"I kid, I kid," she defended. "I might have been thinking about you, too. Just a little though."
"Uh huh." Spencer scooted closer.
"Yeah." Their faces were inches apart. Their bodies were already together.
"I thought so." Their lips met.
"Spencer, I'm going to kiss you now, and if you don't want me to…then you're just going to have to stop me."
Ashley was no longer teetering on the edge of the bed. Her right thigh was against Spencer's left, and she had moved her right arm to rest on the bed on the other side of Spencer's body. Her face only inches away, Spencer thanked the heavens that she was no longer experiencing her dry, knotty throat problems. Ashley had now worked her left hand behind Spencer's head. Her breath hitched. Their lips met.
Spencer pulled away. "See how honesty is rewarded?"
"Yes, I do." She put her arm on Spencer's lower back, pulling her as close as possible. "I think we've been rewarding each other's honesty all day."
Spencer's head was spinning. Everything was occurring at what felt like light speed. Had she removed her shirt or had Ashley done it for her? She was unsure.
Ashley joined her state of undress and maneuvered herself on top of her. Somehow, they had made their way under the covers. Flesh was now touching flesh, hands tangled in hair, tongues swirling. Ashley's mouth was on her neck. Blur. No clothing remained. They were getting daring. They touched each other almost simultaneously; there had been no discussion. "I love you." Had just one or both of them said it? Simultaneous cries of pleasure.
"You do realize that we've been in bed all day," Spencer noted.
"Not true. We've peed a few times," Ashley countered.
"I'm just amazed that we've kept you hidden here all day."
"It's amazing what faking sick can do…just makes family members want to deliver all your meals then leave you alone."
"Less talking, more kissing," Spencer commanded.
"Yes, master."
"I love you."
"Love you."
Lips met lips.
Breathless.
"I love you." "I love you." Slowly, gently, Spencer rejoined her lips with her lover's.
An hour later, Spencer and Ashley drifted off to sleep. Spencer was confident she had never slept so well in her life.