I decided to give my readers a little Christmas treat, I'm steering away from my angst filled one-shots for once to give you guys a very happy one. Picture whatever Erik you may like, but I'm going with the book how Erik did have Christine with him on more than one occasion that the musical portrays it. I will say I prefer picturing the musical Christine though since she seems to have a tad bit more of a brain. A very Merry Christmas to all of you as well!
Hee, I was able to fit in Erik rambling, oh how I love it. To any of my Heartstrings readers, I'm so incredibly sorry, so many things got in my way, but I am working on finishing that chapter within the next few days.
Okay, so Christine is a lot smarter in this, but you know what, it's still a sweet little Christmas story so I think you'll like it. Let's go with the idea that this is a combination of the musical and book, rather than one specific, though he does have a lot of the attitude of Leroux's.
Erik had taken Christine up to the rooftop to see the winter snow. He was doing it for two reasons; one was at the last moment Raoul had been taken by his brother Phillipe to visit friends far off and the other was an attempt to apologize for his recent actions. He still remembered the look on her face as he watched her in the arms of the young man, crying about the treachery he had put her through when he revealed his true form to her.
"Up here Christine," He held his hand out to her as he stood atop the statue of Apollo.
She looked a little frightened at the idea of standing on something so high and asked him apprehensively "Are you sure it's safe Erik?"
"My dear, I would never let any danger come to you, just take my hand,"
She looked out over the city, were they to fall the wrong way they would plunge to their deaths, but when she saw the soft and almost sad expression in Erik's eyes, she could do nothing else but trust him. Placing her hand in his he began to lift her up and reach out with his other hand to pull her around the waist. Soon enough they were both standing next to the mighty god, it's ever watching eyes looking over Paris and its inhabitants. Christine clutched onto Erik and shut her eyes tightly when she felt a wave of dizziness come over her. Erik brought his other arm around her to keep her steady and said "Let's set down shall we? You can lie against me to even yourself,"
He carefully leaned against one of Apollo's wings and slid down slowly, carrying Christine with him till he was in a half sitting position. His long legs dangled a bit over the side as Christine curled up against him, both in fear of falling off and to keep warm, her thin cloak just wasn't enough to retain her body heat.
"Christine, open your eyes,"
"I don't want to,"
"Please, I shall keep a hold of you, open your eyes,"
She finally did as he asked, but so very slowly, her eyes opened a bit as she took in the sight before her. It was Christmas Eve, less than an hour away from the new day. The city had been covered in snow, it's pure white blanket was upon everything and all of Paris seemed to be sleeping underneath the cold comforter.
"This is lovely Erik,"
"Look up to the sky,"
It was beautiful, there were a few sparse clouds, gently dropping snow down from the heavens, but Christine could still see the shimmers of the stars in the black night. She relaxed a bit, forgetting her fears as she felt a few flakes fall onto her face.
Erik closed his eyes, relishing the warmth of Christine's body against his own. He would have to send a letter of thanks to the older de Chagny for dragging his brother off. Yet his heart still ached as he remembered the scene, the boy had come to Christine with his promises of love and return as he told her the news of his leave, and she had wept with him that they would not be together for such a special day.
Why did he have to be such a fool? He had hoped she would look past the mask, and yet when his horrible face had been revealed to her he yelled at her, he believed he had even caused her pain even when he grabbed her.
Mad Christine! Why did you not heed my warning!
"Erik? Is everything all right?"
Erik opened his eyes to look down at Christine, concern on her face.
Concern?
"Yes, I'm fine, why are you wondering?"
"You were shaking, are you cold?"
He smiled sadly and looked back up at the stars, "Not with you next to me, you are enough to keep me warm Christine,"
She said nothing in response to him, only tucked her head against his chest as they watched the night. Her heart was breaking when it shouldn't and there was no way she could stop it. She loved Raoul, and he loved her, they were made to be together.
At least… She thought they were made that way.
Erik frightened her, she couldn't lie to herself about that. He had little patience for anything and his sanity seemed to leave him altogether when she took his mask. But Erik had a gentle side, one that he made obvious to her when she sang, or when he crawled to her on that horrible day, wanting his mask back. He had said to her already that he loved her, and she knew it to be true, but her childish life made her scared of him, and before she really thought about what she was doing she ran to her childhood friend for help.
"Did I hurt you?" Erik's question broke her thought.
She pulled away from him and asked "What do you mean?"
"On… That day, did I hurt you?"
Christine sat up a little higher and turned her head away from him "No, you didn't really hurt me. Even if you did it was unintentional, so it doesn't really matter,"
"But it does!"
"Why?" She turned back to look at him, his body reclined but stiff against the great wing, it almost appeared to be his own.
"Because I never want to hurt you. Too many times I've had to make others suffer, far too many times…"
"Make? Erik, to injure someone is of choice, you can't be made to do it,"
"In my old position, before I lived here, it was my duty to do just that. There was no choice in the matter, either I made others feel torment or I died," He was becoming very nervous, he had never told anyone before about his life in Persia and here he was speaking of it to his beloved Christine.
"Where did you live? What was your position?"
"There was a time that I was a member of the Persian life. I was hired as a magician and court assassin,"
"You mean you- you had to kill others?"
"Yes,"
"And if you ever said no-"
"Then I would be put to death,"
"I'm sorry Erik, I had no idea…"
They became quiet again, lost in their thoughts. It was maddening to each of them to not speak, but at the same time, should either one talk they would surely say something wrong. Christine leaned back down to Erik, taking her prior position, and his arm snaked around her again.
She would never understand it completely, she didn't know how Persian law was, didn't know the types of death you were put through for defiance. But he had to make his own point clear to her.
"That is why I never want to hurt you. It is true as you said, I have a choice, but at that time I only cared for myself, my life, my protection. With you though, I would rather suffer the worst death possible than to see a single tear fall from your eye,"
"I wouldn't want you to die, please don't talk that way,"
"Why shouldn't I? I've been a freak to nearly everyone I've ever known, those foolish managers would love it if I disappeared and you…" He trailed off and looked away from her.
"What about me?"
"…You would be happy with your handsome young lover,"
"Erik-"
"Don't speak, not yet. You know it to be true, if I had never deceived you, never played such a game upon your mind and heart, then you would be free to marry him as I know you wish to. I'm so sorry Christine, but I love you and want to keep you as my own, and for all my selfishness I can't just release you, my love keeps me a prisoner as much as it does you." He paused for a moment to think and chuckled a little, "Is it so wrong though? A monster to have a heart, to feel love for a woman? My face is horrific to you, I don't want you to be scared of it, but I can't let you go! "
Erik was now crying as he held onto Christine, pulling her tightly against him. Christine's heart was pounding and she was surprised when she felt her own tears falling. She reached around his back and held him like a child while he cried. She said to him gently in his ear "Erik, it is not your face,"
He pulled back, she could see tears falling from his chin, his eyes red and puffy.
"What?"
"It is not your face that scares me so. Erik, you lied to me for so long, and then when I saw what you really were… Not an angel, but a man. Then when that day came, you were so angry with me. No Erik, it is not your face that scares me,"
"They why do you run from me? What have I done to you?"
"Erik, you cannot continue with me as you have been. You've controlled me through your music and that would be frightening to anyone."
"My music is all I have,"
"It does not mean you should try and use me with it,"
"Christine, what would you have me do? Control over others is the only way I have ever received what I want, it is the only way others will hear me out,"
"Not with me, do you not understand? I don't want to be something to be controlled, I am not a trophy, a mere puppet to show off to everyone!"
Again silence overcame them. Erik did not mean for things to get this far, he had only wanted to show her the frozen night and the beauty is possessed.
"I'm sorry Christine. It wasn't right for me to lie to you for so long. I will be honest as I tell you now though, the reason I did all this foolishness, it was because I was afraid,"
Christine let go of him a bit to see him in the face, at least, the parts that weren't covered. "Afraid?"
"Yes. You were the first woman that I ever really fell in love with, my heart cried at the frustration of always seeing you and never being able to touch you. You were a pure being, unattainable, and in that I became afraid of you. That is why I tricked you, if I could appear as something much more fierce than yourself, then perhaps I would have the courage to take you. I never meant for you to be an object though, you are deserving of so many better titles. You saw the dress I had made for you, but you were so terrified when you knew what I wanted from you. Does it still scare you? To know that right now I still want you for my wife?"
Christine shivered a little when he reached up to touch her cheek. Erik pulled his hand back immediately, as if he had touched a hot coal, but Christine reached for his hand again and entwined it in her own. Bringing her other hand up she caressed what was uncovered, Erik's eyes intent upon her face as she explored his. When her fingers came in contact with the mask, he flinched a little, but then lay still as she pulled at it. He felt cold air touch his skin, then her warm hand running over the ruined flesh. He could see tears in her eyes and began to pull her hand away, saying "I'm sorry, it still frightens you,"
"No. It's not that at all. I just- it's so hard to think about all you've been through because of this. Erik, you are such a remarkable person, intelligent, talented. Yet you've suffered for so long because of this, you don't deserve any more pain,"
"Still I shall go through pain. I love a woman who, though she may look upon me now, does not love me back. I am hated and feared by everyone in the Opera House, the only way I can even live is under the presumption that I am a dead creature, not that it's too far off of an idea already,"
"Stop it Erik! Just stop, no more talk like this, I can't stand it. I don't like hearing you speak so easily that you should be dead or that you are," She cupped his face in her hands, swallowing hard at what she was going to say "What… What makes you think I don't love you?"
His heart stopped, he was certain of it, if only it would stop pounding in his ears so loudly. "But your lover-"
"Raoul is a dear friend, and I do love him, but not the way I do you. He offered me protection… From you, but I don't want it now. You were cruel before Erik as my Angel, demanding things of me I just couldn't bear to give up. You had a fit if I even talked to a stagehand! In time though, now that this act has played out, you've been good and kind to me. Yes, you did hurt me that day, when you dug yours hands roughly into my hair, shouted in my face, but that's not you anymore. It's all this talk of death that makes me realize I would hate the thought of losing you. You who have given me so much!"
"What have I given you?" He was breathing hard, Christine was halfway on top of him now, smiling in all her goodness, and it was all for him!
"You've taught me to sing, you soothed me when my nightmares came, you showered me with gifts just because you could. I never asked for them but you did it just to impress me. You don't need to though, you're fine as you are, there's so many things about you that I love,"
Erik could say nothing, Christine still had her hands on his face. This is what she wanted?
"All you want is me?"
"Just you,"
"As I am?"
"It makes things a lot easier without the façade, doesn't it?" She smiled sweetly.
Erik cried out as he pulled her completely on top of him, holding her tightly in his arms. She squealed a bit as he buried his face against her neck and kissed her there, tears flowing nonstop. She lifted herself up to look into his eyes, and glanced down at his lips. He was trembling, never had he kissed someone on their lips, let alone the soft skin of their neck.
Christine's face inched down to his, till she was but an inch from him. She could feel his warm breath against her in the cold air. "Christine, I love you so much," Erik muttered as her lips finally came down upon his. Never had he known a feeling of such greatness, it was a sensation like whenever he composed, but so much more. Her lips were soft against his and he could feel the combination of lust and love taking over his body. His tongue darted against her, and she opened up to him eagerly. It was when he felt Christine shiver again that he stopped. "Are you cold my love?"
"A little,"
Erik let her sink back down to his side, and pulled his long black cloak to envelop her with him. He leaned down to place another soft kiss on her lips and put his forehead against hers as he whispered "I have something for you," He reached down into his pocket to pull out a small box. "I wanted to give this to you at the masked ball, but I found you were already a bit… engaged with the young man,"
She frowned at his words, remembering how he taken the engagement ring from her in his anger. She felt rather glad now that he had stolen it. She took the little box from him and opened it, gasping at what she saw. It was also a ring, but it looked nothing like what Raoul had given her. Red crystals formed the shape of a rose, with a green stone on each side for the leaves, and the metal surrounding it was a dark silver. Erik removed it from the box and took her left hand, sliding it onto her finger. "I know it's nothing as precious as what you had before,"
"Erik, it's the loveliest ring I've ever worn. Thank you,"
"What about your other fiancé? You cannot have two," He said a bit possessively.
"I do not intend to have two. When Raoul returns, I shall take care of him, he won't be happy- don't laugh! - but he will move on. Let's not think of him right now, the night is too wonderful to put our thoughts on that,"
She sighed contently next to him as he pulled out his pocket watch. "My dear,"
"Hmm?"
"Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Erik, I love you."