Credits

Chapter 1: Garfieldodie

Chapter 2: Garfieldodie

Chapter 3: Garfieldodie

Chapter 4: Swing123

Chapter 5: Garfieldodie

Chapter 6: Swing123

Chapter 7: Garfieldodie / Swing123

Chapter 8: Garfieldodie

Chapter 9: Swing123

Chapter 10: Swing123

Chapter 11: Swing123 / Garfieldodie

Chapter 12: Garfieldodie / Swing123

Chapter 13: Garfieldodie

Chapter 14: Swing123 / Garfieldodie

Chapter 15: Garfieldodie

Chapter 16: Swing123

Chapter 17: Swing123

Chapter 18: Garfieldodie

Chapter 19: Swing123

Chapter 20: Swing123 / Garfieldodie


Voice Actors:

Pamela Segall Adlon… Calvin

Tom Hanks… Hobbes / Erne the alien / Alex the alien

Ryan Stiles… Socrates / Carl the alien / Jack the alien

Andrew Lawrence… Andy

Colin Mochrie… Sherman / Alfred the alien / Luke the alien

Bill Murray… Dad / Galaxoid / Lace the alien / Biff the alien

Tom Kenny… Earl / Nebular / Lenny the alien / Jay the alien

Eric Roberts… Rupert Chill

Kurtwood Smith… Retro Griffin

French Stewart… Bob / Zack the alien / Tim the alien / Socrates' High-Tech Voice

Rob Paulson… Evil Calvin

Jennifer Love Hewitt… Mom

Dakota Fanning… Susie Derkins

EG Daily… Moe

Neil Crone… Dr Frank Brainstorm

Michael Brandon… Jack

Jim Carrey… Dave the alien / Danny the alien

Robin Williams… Alien Janitor

Ashton Kutcher… Alien Announcer

Ben Stine… Dull-Voiced Aliens / "Mmm-Hmmmm" Guy / Planet Field Guide Narrator

Chris Rice… "The Best Song Ever" Singer

Dee Bradley Baker… Various Voices


Soundtrack:

Double Summer: The Chills: Opening Theme

Alien Shore: Rush

I'm On My Way: Rich Price

War: Edwin Starr

The Best Song Ever: Chris Rice: Hobbes' song.

Thunderbirds Are Go: Busted: Cut to the Chase

Wake Me Up When September Ends: Green Day: Closing Theme

With a Little Help From My Friends: Joe Crocker: Credits

Lemonade: Chris Rice

Your Heart Will Lead You Home: Kenny Loggins


Book Chapters

Chapter 1: Double Trouble by the Butterfield Blues Band

Chapter 2: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones

Chapter 3: Lost in Space by the Fountains of Wayne

Chapter 4: Ship of Fools by the Doors

Chapter 5: Imagination (Is a Powerful Deceiver) by Elvis Costello

Chapter 6: Seen Your Soul by Mark Joseph

Chapter 7: The Ghost Ship by Robyn Hitchcock & the Egyptians

Chapter 8: Holdin' Out For a Hero by Frou Frou

Chapter 9: Danger and Play by OHO

Chapter 10: Writing to Reach You by Travis

Chapter 11: Blackmail by 10cc

Chapter 12: Death Vulcan Grip by the Truckee Brothers

Chapter 13: Feats Don't Fail Me Now by Little Feat

Chapter 14: You've Got a Friend by James Taylor

Chapter 15: The Best Song Ever by Chris Rice

Chapter 16: Cut to the Chase by Rush

Chapter 17: Beneath, Between & Behind by Rush

Chapter 18: War by Edwin Starr

Chapter 19: One Little Victory by Rush

Chapter 20: Someone Saved My Life Tonight by Elton John

Chapter 21: Bonus Interview by Mountain


Calvin's Dictionary: Volume 2

Andy: Noun. Nice kid, but unusually quiet. He doesn't have much personality, but his most defining quality is shutting a certain hamster up.

Bob: Noun. Retro's ex-sidekick. He's actually pretty nice once given the proper "motivation". His best talent is screaming his lungs out.

Box: Noun. A cube made from corrugated cardboard. Can be used for various inventions.

Boy: Noun. Male; the world's most perfect gender. Of course, once they turn thirty…

Comic Book: Noun. Reading material. Filled with gory, actiony cartoon panels. The world's perfect reading material. Keep out of reach of tigers.

Claw-Car: Noun. Despite being used for evil purposes, this thing is super-cool. With any luck, it can be used to fling a certain red-tailed tiger across the town! Watch out for the teeth, though.

Earl: Noun. An evil, despicable alien captain who hired Rupert's band of aliens. The upside? They're all morons.

Evil Calvin: Noun. One of the most evil and despicable, yet devilishly handsome creatures on this planet.

Galaxoid: Noun. An alien with no limbs. Funny little guy, but lacks arms, and sometimes brains.

Galaxy Transmitting System: Noun.A special transmitter that is located within the brain of Socrates. It may not get used often, but it's funny to watch him get turned on.

Girl: Noun. A female creature from a distant planet that's self goal is to annoy males.

Guitar: Noun. A special musical device that can be used as a weapon. When used correctly, it can blast electricity at aliens. Don't ask how. It just can.

Hypercube: Noun. An infinite storage cube that can hold whatever you put in it. Comes in blue, green or red.

Imaginator: Noun. A strange machine designed to bring your thoughts to life. It's a useful machine to anyone. Too bad they won't make it available to the general public.

Nebular: Noun. Similar to Galaxoid, but a lot dumber.

Retro: Noun. An evil genius who is probably a long-lost brother to Larry, one of the Three Stooges.

Rupert: Noun. Alien King who wants to be the dominant ruler of all. Moron.

Shadowfax: Noun.A skinny yet strong alien that comes from a bunch of red planets. It has many qualities. For one, those aliens are a bunch of killing machines. Oh lord, have mercy on our souls.

Sherman: Noun. A self-proclaimed genius who could possibly solve all the world's problems. The only thing stopping him? He's a hamster.

Teacher: Noun. An evil, twisted, obese old hag who does nothing but try to destroy children.


The Secret Origin of Retro Griffin

Retro had been regarded as a freak since the day he was born. He sat down a lot at desks during school, and soon his body had assumed a position where he looked like he was sitting down, even if he was standing up.

Retro was a straight-A student (duh) and always hated people. He hated everyone, even if they weren't mean to him. Much like our friend Hobbes, Retro has always held a dim view of humans, and thought they all needed a leader. He wanted to control them all and make them all see his side of things.

Retro harbored all that hate, and once he graduated from Harvard, he was ready to take over the world.

But there was a problem: even though he was very bright, he didn't have enough brain power to build any weapons or machines.

It was incredibly annoying to him.

But he knew someone else who would help him.

This man, who we'll just call Frank for now, was basically what Retro is today. The only difference: he's fighting for the good side.

It was very difficult to convince Frank to do this for him.

Retro had threatened him with a shotgun, and said if he didn't do this for him, and then there'd be a lot of blood on the floor that night.

Frank was won around, but not willingly.

Frank's invention was shaped like a light bulb, but you could see into it. It was designed to take thoughts from someone else and send them into the light bulb part, and then they'd be emptied into a different head. It was an ingenious invention.

But Frank had a plan. In order to keep Retro from getting more powerful, he planned to overload the system, and make Retro's brain shut down all together, and therefore, he'd be reduced to a complete imbecile and forget what he was doing.

It backfired.

Retro connected himself to the machine, and Frank did as well.

Frank turned it on, and he started to send his all-powerful thoughts into the light bulb, and they all started to churn and then they would be sent to Retro's head.

But Frank started to think faster than before.

His genius thoughts poured into the light bulb at fifty thoughts per minute.

Retro noticed that he didn't look so good and asked what the heck he was doing.

Frank claimed it was part of the process, and then resumed, but even faster.

Soon, there were enough thoughts in the machine, and then it was time for Frank to put the plan into action.

He pressed a button on the machine, and he hit the button marked SUCK, in which case, Retro's brain would be sucked out of his head and into Frank's where it would be safe.

And that's where it all went wrong.

In an instant, Retro flipped another switch, and it redirected the sucking process.

Before Frank could fix it, his brain was drained, and his genius was sent to Retro's brain!

Uh-oh.

For a split second, Retro's head swelled up and got real big, and then it went back to normal. However, that swell, caused most of his hair to fall out, and the rest was all shoved aside, and his sideburns poofed out, but he didn't care.

In a fit of laughter, Retro ripped the machine from his head and shouted arrogantly at Frank, saying that he'd known about the plan, and now the tables were turned and the world was now his!

Retro left Frank to sit there, clueless as to what just happened.

Retro's next order of business was to figure out he'd gain control over the world.

First order business: think of a plan.

Retro thought about how he'd take over the world, and as he walked, he noticed a little girl playing with her dolls at a playground.

Retro despised children. He planned to do away with them all once he had control. But he couldn't but notice that this girl was playing with the dolls and talking to them. She poured nonexistent tea into a cup, and then she pretended that the doll was drinking it.

Retro's newfound genius came up with a plan: invent something that could create what you thought of telepathically!

It was brilliant!

But he couldn't do it without the equipment.

And with his new genius, he could do that!

For three years, Retro Griffin worked hard. He'd gone to deep woods and built himself a secret underground hideout under a swamp.

He gathered a bunch of henchmen who were to help him, but they were under mind control from some special pills he'd formulated himself. They could still think somewhat freely and talk, but other than that, they were slaves.

Retro spent seven months perfecting one of his inventions. He gave it a rectangular shape, and he put a timer on the front to tell if it was breaking down. Then he put a long hose on it, and then attached a helmet to it. Then he filled it with lots of wires and computer circuitry boards.

Retro began to wonder why he couldn't just use his own imagination to take over the world, but then when he tested it, it all came out wrong. He had a very bad imagination. He didn't watch enough daytime television.

Therefore, Retro knew he'd have to come up with something. Then he remembered that little girl. Maybe he could get children to do it! But how? There was no way he could do this. They watched a lot of television, and there were lots of warnings about talking to strangers.

Then he decided to kidnap the kids in the neighborhood just above him.

But how could get them all?

He went to a junkyard and found that an old bumper car had just been dumped there, and there were also broken up construction vehicles.

It gave him an idea.

With the help of his hench-slaves, he moved them all to his lab, and then he started construction.

In only two short weeks, he'd completed construction.

And just for his luck, school had just let out, so that meant kids would be everywhere!

Retro unleashed the newest invention: a claw car. He'd equipped the old bumper car to run on its own, and now it had a giant mechanical arm on the back end of it, and on the end of the arm was a giant set of jaws that could scoop up anyone.

Retro drove off into town and spotted the first subject.

It was boy, probably around six, with hair that covered his eyes.

"Hey, kid," said Retro.

The boy looked over his shoulder and gasped in horror.

"Who the heck are you!" he asked.

"I am Retro Griffin," said Retro. "I am offering several kids a free trip to Disney Land. Care to come?"

The boy gulped and didn't look too sure.

"Uh, I…?"

But it didn't matter what this kid said.

"What's your name, little boy?"

"Moe."

"Moe? Nice name. Would you, eh, care to join me? I'm gathering up lots of kids, and you're the first. I'll give you a ride to the waiting room."

Moe stared, and then gulped nervously as the claw came down and grabbed him.

"Easy, child. Don't fear me. I'll take you there."

"What do you want from me?" Moe asked.

Moe may be an idiot, but he's not completely stupid.

"All I want is to put a helmet on your head, and then you think of the most dangerous thing ever."

"Um…okay?" Moe said.

And that was what it was all day.

Moe was only the first. Several kids were being kidnapped that day.

Retro went back and forth.

Soon, according to the radar, there were only two kids left.

And they were heading towards the forest.

"Almost done," he said sinisterly.

Suddenly, he heard a loud rattling.

"This is perfect, Hobbes! 2nd Grade! Wow! I never thought that I'd make it!"

The voice was young and high-pitched, and suddenly, a red wagon rattled past him.

In it was a boy. He had spiky blonde hair and was wearing mostly red.

Behind him was a stuffed tiger.

This kid was talking to a toy! It was too perfect!

He would be the first one he'd try his invention on.

But Retro noticed that he'd left the woods and was now headed for the road.

He couldn't risk being exposed, so he just stayed there.

Suddenly, he heard a little girl shriek.

"Ha, ha!" shouted the boy. "Direct hit!"

The boy suddenly rattled past again in the opposite direction.

Darn it. Retro had missed again.

But then he saw the girl, who'd apparently just been nailed by water balloons

Ah well. The boy couldn't get far. Might as well get the other.

Retro sent the claw down and grabbed the girl.

"Hello, little lady!" he shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" shrieked the girl.

The girl was wearing a yellow shirt with orange overalls, and she had nice brown hair.

"Who are you?" she demanded.

"I'll explain later. I have to catch that other kid!"

The girl shrieked as she was jammed into a secret compartment.

Retro growled and tore down the hill after the boy and his wagon. He managed to catch up.

Retro slammed on the gas, but that wagon was still able to outrun him.

His hopes for a surprise attack were dashed when the stuffed tiger leaned back in the wagon, and this apparently alerted the boy, who suddenly turned his head around and caught a glimpse of the claw car, and that was enough to tell this kid that something bad was about to happen.

The kid went over a steeper slope on the hill, and he started to get away, but the stone bridge just ahead suddenly crumbled away, and the wagon screeched to a halt.

Retro thought he had this kid in his clutches, but he suddenly realized just how fast he was going, and he knew he had to get those brakes on. He managed to stop, but he bumper car slammed into the wagon, sending the boy and his tiger flying across the gap in the bridge and to safety.

The boy got out of the wagon and stuck his tongue out at Retro on the other side, who was extremely furious. He shook his fist at them.

"You can try all you want, pal!" he yelled. "You'll never catch Calvin and Hobbes and our Wonder Wagon."

Retro was about to reply, but suddenly, his half of bridge weakened, and he found himself tumbling down into the river, where the car started to sink, but he activated a sub option and started to cruise back towards the shore, but would have to waited a while.

Soon, he drove out of the water and approached a secret tunnel, and then he drove along towards the hideout.

Once he was back, he dumped the girl in with the rest.

"What are you going to do with us?" asked the girl, whose name was Susie.

"Well, little girl, I plan to ship you all off to Disney Land, but first you all need to think of something dangerous and evil. But in the mean time, I need to find that punk kid."

"What punk kid?" asked another girl.

"He said his name was Calvin, and I swear that once I get him, I'll get my revenge for making me go through that terrible experience. It'll take forever to dry off this lab coat."

The other kids gasped.

"You mean…you'd kill Calvin?" asked Susie.

"No……well, not right away. Anyway, you all keep thinking evil thoughts."

And he left the kids alone.

Retro chuckled. "This plan is flawless," he sneered. "The world should be mine by the end of the week."

And it would've been to, if it hadn't been for a certain six-year-old boy and his tiger pal, who would soon notice that there was a problem, and they'd soon come forth and fight for justice, and from that moment on, Retro Griffin would forever seek vengeance on Calvin and Hobbes…


The Story Behind Rupert Chill

Two aliens sat in their UFO, sipping their milkshakes, and watching as the vast regions of space past by them.

The aliens were both only two feet tall. They had only one eye in the middle of their heads. They were both wearing hats about the same length of their body. One hat had a star on it. The other had a crescent moon on it. Neither alien had arms or legs. They had tentacles instead.

Both of them had wide grins on their faces.

"Ah, this is life." The one with the moon on his hat said.

"Couldn't agree more, Galixoid." The one with the star on his head replied, sipping his milkshake.

Galixoid yawned, and leaned back in his seat.

"Gee, Nebular, I wonder how far the next gas station is." He smacked. "This ship only has two million miles to the gallon."

"I told you we shouldn't have bought the compact edition." Nebular said.

Suddenly, the radar screen started beeping, and a red warning light started flashing.

"WARNING! WARNING!" A computer voice chanted. "ZOKIAN BATTLE SHIP! ZOKIAN BATTLE SHIP!"

Galaxoid's eye popped open, and Nebular fell out of his seat.

"Zok!" Galixoid yelled. "They're the most viscous aliens in the universe!"

Nebular grabbed the controls, and began steering their space ship in the other direction.

Suddenly from behind one of the meteors, a gigantic space ship appeared.

The ship was long ovalish shape with windows going around the center of it. It was jet black. Stationed inside a red circle, a huge, jet black Z sat centered in the ship. And there were green lights around it, scanning the area around it as if it was looking for something.

"E-GAD!" Galixoid shrieked "There it is!"

"Wow, how dramatic." Nebular said.

The two little aliens' ship made a full turn around.

Galixoid slammed his tentacle into the HYPERDRIVE button.

Fire spewed out the back of the ship, and the ship started bolting away.

Only...oops... The green lights on the ship all fixed on Galixoid and Nebular's little UFO.

The Zokian ship started moving forward towards the UFO.

Galixoid pushed a lever forward, and the ship blasted forward.

The Zokian ship lingered for a moment, then it, too, vanished in a blast of fire.

The two ships rocketed across the vast regions of space.

Galixoid and Nebular were starting to panic.

Especially when the Zokian extended rocket launchers and laser rays from their ship, and started firing.

ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

Galixoid and Nebular dodged all the blast desperately trying to get away.

CRASH!

Oops.

It appeared that one of the explosives had landed right in the middle of Galixoid and Nebular's ship.

A red light started flashing throughout their ship, an alarm went off.

Galixoid and Nebular exchanged glances, and started screaming.

The ship spiraled out of control, and conveniently headed for Mars.

The ship crashed into the red soil, destroyed several NASA probes, and finally bashed into a red wall of rock.

SMASH!

Galixoid and Nebular opened their eyes, dazed but unhurt.

They looked around.

Silence.

Galixoid turned to Nebular and shrugged.

"Maybe they didn't see where we crashed." He suggested.

At that very moment, the sound of a humming motor reached Galixoid and Nebular's ears.

They looked out the window, and saw the Zokian battle ship landing on Mars' surface.

"Of course, I've been wrong before." Galixoid said.

"HIDE!" Nebular screamed.

The two aliens frantically put their air helmets on, and scurried off their ship, towards some red rocks.

An escalator dropped down from the Zokian battle ship.

Smoke hissed out of the entrance, and a pair of glowing yellow eyes emerged from it.

A tall creature emerged from the ship, and cut his yellow compound eyes from side to side.

He had a chrome, crescent moon shaped head with large razor sharp teeth. He had no nose or ears, and had a deadly serious expression on his face.

His body was chrome, too. It had two tentacles on his sides for arms, and several tentacles for legs, causing the impression that he slithers instead of walks.

He was wearing a red uniform that went to all the tips of his tentacles. A large jet black Z logo stood out on it.

A ray gun was tucked into his pocket, where he had easy access to it, and finally, he had a name tag on that said, RUPERT CHILL, KING.

Another alien with the exact same features came down next. His name tag said, EARL, CAPTAIN.

Earl joined Rupert.

Seconds later several more aliens with the exact same characteristics came down to the soil. Their name tags had several different names. LENNY, MEMBER. ERNE, MEMBER. DAVE, MEMBER, and so on.

However their faces were far from serious.

They all had goofy grins on their faces.

And it's weird seeing that stupid grin on faces with compound eyes, razor sharp teeth, and chrome heads shaped like a crescent moons included with it.

Very weird.

All the aliens had round, fancy looking air helmets on, and when they breathed; it was amplified through radios in them.

Rupert turned his head to the crew in front of him.

"Alright." He said, his voice being muffled by the helmet. "I want the two aliens brought here alive! Alive, not dead. The opposite of deceased. Do you think any of you morons can handle that?"

The aliens all exchanged glances, shrugged, turned back to Rupert, and nodded.

"Good." Rupert spat. "Move out."

"I'm happy where I live already," Alex the alien said.

"GO GET THE ALIENS!" Rupert screamed.

"OK! OK!" The aliens all scattered.

Rupert sighed, and turned back to the Mars landscape.

"Why do you think that Galixoid and Nebular know who the Supreme Earthling Potentate is?" The captain, Earl asked.

"I was listening to the radio," Rupert said. "And suddenly those two came on, bragging about how they how met him."

"Ah."

Galixoid and Nebular were hiding in a small cave, panting.

"Do you think we gave them the slip?" Nebular asked.

Suddenly, an ugly alien head appeared in front of them.

"No." Galixoid replied.

The alien named Luke peered into the cave, and stared at Galixoid and Nebular.

"Say," He said. "Have you seen aliens go by here?"

"Did they look exactly like us with no tiny difference whatsoever?" Asked Galixoid.

Luke studied them.

"Yup! They sure do."

"Nope, never heard of them."

"Oh, darn."

And with that, Luke left.

Galixoid and Nebular winked at each other, and grinned.

Luke stopped.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Wait a minute!"

Galixoid and Nebular's grins dropped like bricks.

Luke's head reappeared in the hole.

"May I see your driver's license sir?" He demanded.

Galixoid and Nebular exchanged glances.

Then, they both reached into their pockets, and pulled out a couple of cards.

They handed them to Luke.

Luke stood up, and gawked at the cards.

"Uh-huuuuuuuuuuuuuh." He observed. "But are they the ones we're looking for?"

He turned the cards over, and stared at a message on the back.

Yes, they are, you dunce

Luke blinked.

"Oh."

He reached under the rock, and yanked the two terrified aliens out.

Luke cleared his throat, pulled out a piece of paper, and started reading.

"By the authority of the Zokian army, navy and the planet Zok, and any other planet whose names starts with Zs, I hereby arrest you for no reason whatsoever, so our king can drill you with extremely tough questions, and torture us while doing so. If you resist arrest I will be forced to use really cool nightsticks and hotshots to beat you up with."

As Luke read, Galixoid and Nebular exchanged glances.

"Once again, I shall repeat that you are being arrested by Zok, just because we like to brag about how cool we are. You have the right to remain silent. Anything to say can or will be used against you in a court of tentacles. If you... ah what the heck, nobody cares about that part."

He threw the paper over his head, and lead Galixoid and Nebular away.

Rupert and Earl were waiting on the ship, when Luke came slithering up with a wide stupid grin on his face.

Rupert and Earl watched him come with their tentacles crossed.

"Where are they?" Rupert demanded.

Luke stepped aside, and revealed the petrified Galixoid and Nebular.

"Ah, Galixoid and Nebular." Rupert grinned. "We meet at long last."

"We've only been chasing them for three days." Luke said.

Rupert spun around to Luke.

"Would you shut up?"

Back to Galixoid and Nebular.

"Get on the ship, now!"

Over to Earl.

"Escort them to their 'rooms', Earl."

Back to Luke.

"Gather up the rest of the crew. We're leaving now."

Back to Galixoid and Nebular.

"I hope you enjoy your visit." He snarled as Earl led them away.

"What do you mean you won't feed us?" Nebular screamed. "We need constant nourishment!"

"And I need constant patience." Earl spat. "Now tell me who's the Earth Potentate is, or I'll throw another sandwich away."

"What kind of sandwich is it?"

"TALK!"

"NEVER!"

Earl held up a tuna sandwich, and dropped it into the waste basket.

"THE HORROR!" Galixoid screamed.

Earl held up a peanut butter and pickle sandwich, and dropped it in the waste basket.

"THE TERROR!" Nebular screamed.

Earl held up a peanut butter jar, and dropped it into the waste basket. Followed by a honey jar, a pickle jar, a bag of bread, a tuna can, three jugs of ice creme, and a spoon.

Galixoid and Nebular were hysterical.

"OK! OK! WE'LL TALK!"

Earl sighed, and put the yogurt covered raisins back in the fridge.

"Good. Great. That's the best news I've heard all week. Who is he?"

"His name is Calvin." Galixoid said. "He lives with a tiger called Hobbes."

Earl grinned.

"Yes...? What else?"

"He has weird spiky yellow hair, a red T-shirt with stripes on it, black sweat pants and red sneakers." Nebular said. "He has a loud voice, and he's always complaining about his life."

"Yes, Potentates usually do that." Earl said, rubbing his chin. "Anything else?"

There was a moment of silence.

"No, that's about it." Galixoid said. "Can we have lunch now?"

"What? Oh sure. Alex?"

An alien came running into the room.

"Yes boss?"

"Do whatever they tell you to do." Earl said, walking out of the room.

"Okay."

There was a moment of silence.

Galixoid blinked.

"Uuuuh..." He said. "So you're gonna do whatever we tell you to do?"

Alex nodded and grinned.

"Uuuhhh-huuuuuuhh..."

There was another moment of silence.

Then Nebular grinned.

"Let us go, trust us completely, and put us in your crew."

"Okay."

Alex let Galixoid and Nebular out of their cell.

"Gee that was easy." Galixoid grinned.

Meanwhile in the control room, Rupert and Earl stared out at the planet Earth.

"Approaching Calvin's house." Said a cool robot voice.

"Location: United States

Age: six

Occupation: Supreme Earthling Potentate."

Rupert and Earl grinned, evilly.

"Earth Potentate," Rupert growled. "Your days are numbered."

And with that, he and Earl burst out in maniacal laughter.


With a Little Help From My Friends

Calvin: What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song. I will try not to sing out of key.

All: Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.
Calvin: All I need is my buddy.

All: Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.
Calvin: I said I'm gonna get help.

All: Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Calvin: Whoa, yeah!

Hobbes: What do I do when my love is away?
Socrates: Does it worry you to be alone?
Hobbes: How do I feel at the end of the day?
Andy: Are you sad because you're on your own?

Hobbes: I'll tell ya, I don't get sad no more.
All: No, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Hobbes: Gonna get by with my friends.
All: Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Hobbes: Hey, hey, I'm gonna try.

All: Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Calvin: (speaking) All right, guys. All together now!
All: Do you need anybody?
Calvin:
I need somebody to love.
All:
Could it be anybody?
Hobbes:
All I need is somebody.
Socrates: That's just where I'm goin', yeah!

Calvin: Somebody knows when I'm sure!

Galaxoid: Baby!

All: No, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Calvin: I'm gonna make it with my friends!
All: Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.
Hobbes: Whoa, whoa, I'm gonna keep on trying!

All: Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Nebular: I'm gonna keep on trying!

All: Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Andy: I'm certain that it happens all the time.
All: What do you see when you turn out the light?
Hobbes: (speaking) You'd better get this right, Vermin.

Sherman: I can't tell you but it sure feels like it's mine!

Hobbes: (speaking) Huh, not bad.

All: Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.
Socrates: Don't you know I'm gonna make it with my friends?

All: Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.
Galaxoid: I promised myself I'd get by!

All: Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.
Nebular: Sit down, boy, I'll tell ya with a tune!

All: Do you need anybody?
Calvin: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
All: Could it be anybody?
Hobbes: OH, THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMEBODY!

Socrates: Yeah, there's gotta be somebody!

Sherman: Yeah, yeah.

All: No, I get by with a little help from my friends.

Calvin: I said, I'm gonna get by with my friends!
All: Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.
Hobbes: Whoa, whoa, I'm gonna keep on trying!

All: Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Andy: Keep on trying with my friends!

All: Get by with a little help from my friends.

Galaxoid: Whoa, ain't nothing gonna stop me no more!

All: Get high with a little help from my friends.

Nebular: I'm gonna keep on trying!

All: Gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Socrates: Gonna get high; gonna keep on trying!

All: Get by with a little help from my friends.

Sherman: Go get by with a little help from my friends!

Calvin: Yeah, I'm gonna get on by.

Galaxoid: Yeah, I too shall get on by.

Hobbes: For the long and lonely ride, gonna take 'em all along.

Andy: Yeah, yeah! Ha, ha!

Nebular: Gonna come along and say it. Gotta say it!

Socrates: Oh, I'm gonna take my friends along with me!

Sherman: Everywhere we go, we're gonna go together!

Calvin & Hobbes: Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends. With a little help from my friends!


Trailer

There is a black screen. Suddenly, there is static and a television screen is shown. The Fan Fiction logo and Nickelodeon Movies fly across the screen. Rupert, Earl and Retro appear on the screen.

Rupert: Hello, Earthlings.

Earl: Surprised to see us?

Retro: You should be.

Galaxoid and Nebular are transmitting through Socrates.

Galaxoid: We just saw Rupert and Earl!

Nebular: And Retro and Bob!

Hobbes: Retro and Rupert? Together!

Retro stands before the aliens.

Retro: We'll sneak up to Calvin's house, beam him up into the ship and leave an evil clone in his place.

Retro creates Evil Calvin.

Rupert: Is he evil?

Evil Calvin attacks Rupert, knocking him down.

Earl: Yup, he's evil.

Dramatic music is play as Calvin is beamed into space, sound asleep.

Calvin is in the dark room.

Calvin: I REFUSE TO LET SOME CREEPY, SHAPELESS THING DISTURB MY…something. My dignity! My pride! My Sense of Self Wonder! What any of those have to do about this particular moment, I don't know. BUT I REFUSE TO FIND OUT!

Music changes to hip-hop.

Narrator: This summer…

Hobbes: We're going to save Calvin from Rupert and Retro!

Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Galaxoid and Nebular: YAAAAAYY!

Narrator: …one young tiger…

Hobbes dodges a blast of energy. Cut to him searching Sherman's ship.

Hobbes: Hey, rat, where do you keep your flashlights?

Sherman: I might just not want to tell you.

Shadowfax: SCREEEEEEEECH!

Hobbes: You were saying?

Sherman: It's in that red compartment.

Narrator: …has got a plan to save his best friend.

Hobbes: We need a rocket!

Andy: Sherman has a rocket.

Sherman: Shut up! I don't want these two felines getting fur all over my rocket!

Andy: Tell it to someone who cares.

Music changes to Chris Rice's "On the Other Side of the Radio".

Narrator: Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies proudly present…

Andy: We have to battle giant aliens for our freedom?

Socrates: That sure as heck won't be children's fable anytime soon.

Narrator: …Andy and Sherman…

Sherman: It would appear that your inability to remember anything has paid off.

Andy: Just for that, you don't get the new hamster treats when we get home.

Sherman: Aw, come on!

Narrator: …Galaxoid and Nebular…

Nebular: I'm giving you an Almost Guarantee.

Galaxoid: What's an Almost Guarantee?

Nebular: It's one notch shorter from a Gold Plated Guarantee.

Narrator: …Socrates…

Socrates: What are you researching? How to get aliens to come to your doorstep, bang on your door and yell "Keep it down! I'm trying to sleep!"?

Narrator: …and Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin: Friends to the end?

Hobbes: You better believe it.

Music changes to Mark Joseph's "Any Evidence?"

The gang boards Rupert's ship.

Narrator: Now Hobbes' team has to take on system…

Hobbes: It's Bob! This is…is…is really weird. What am I screaming for? Bob's harmless.

Bob: I'm ignoring that.

Narrator: …and cut the evil big-shots…

Rupert: THE PRISONER IS LOOSE!

Retro: SEIZE THEM!

Earl: HELP ME OUT YOU MORONS!

Narrator: …down to size.

Socrates uses the claw car to scoop up Retro.

Socrates: Can we keep this thing?

Hobbes whips out a flashlight at the Shadowfax.

Calvin and Hobbes cower in a corner with hideous shadows across them.

Narrator: When you think action…

Sherman: Hang on everyone!

Andy: Yeah, we got a world to save!

The spaceship tears across the galaxy.

Narrator: When you think adventure…

Hobbes and Socrates dangle from a net.

Socrates: We shall never speak of this again.

Hobbes: Agreed.

Calvin slides down a tunnel with Earl right behind him.

Narrator: …think Calvin and Hobbes!

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman bounce around in the ship.

Calvin: Good luck, guys.

Narrator: CALVIN & HOBBES IV: RETRO CHILL!

Music stops.

Fan Fiction logo pops up.

Narrator: Coming soon to video and DVD this summer.