AN: Gah…is it plunnie season yet? They keep attacking me! This one has actually been on my shoulder for quite a while, I'm just now obeying it. Hope you like the utter, utter randomness…and fangirly-ness, but that's a given, of course. I hereby initiate a game of "Spot the Running Gag" and "Spot the Reference!"

I don't own Detective Conan. Just borrowing the characters and messing with their heads.

What If…?

…Ran's shoelace hadn't broken so she could have stopped Shinichi from running after Vodka?

The man in black sprinted by. Shinichi frowned. Something was seriously amiss here.

"Ran, there's something I've gotta go check out," he said, turning to run off after the man.

He was startled when Ran's hands closed around his upper arm and forced him to stop. "Hold on a minute!" she barked, tugging him backwards. "Does this involve a case of some kind?"

Uh-oh… "Ummm…possibly?" he replied nervously.

"You promised!" Ran half-whined. "Come on, let's go."

"But—but I—" Shinichi looked back over his shoulder at the last spot where the suspicious guy had been visible. Ran wasn't hearing any protests, though, and Shinichi grudgingly allowed himself to be dragged home without checking into the potential case.

Until Ran suddenly decided he was pouting, and opted to do something about it.

Snogging ensued.

…Ran had chased after Shinichi?

Kudo Shinichi lay semi-comatose on the ground, the result of Gin's own patented application of a lead pipe to the back of his head. He was vaguely aware of conversation above him, talking about what to do with him. Oh god, they were going to kill him, he was going to die like this…

Footsteps approached at a dead run. He heard one of the men in black curse loudly, followed by the oh-so-familiar sound of ass being kicked. Royally. He knew that ass-kicking…

Sure enough, the next thing he knew, Ran had all but slung him over her shoulder and was dragging him along behind her. "Come on, we're going to call the police." And they did, and the police came and arrested the two men in black coats, who Ran had thoughtfully left under the bridge, unconscious and with enough various injuries to ensure that they stayed put.

Shinichi was rushed to the hospital. Ran went with him and yelled at him for nearly getting killed.

Snogging ensued. Eventually.

…Ran's parents hadn't separated?

Well, we would lose out on a whole lot of comedy relief, wouldn't we?

(tries to envision Kogoro being romantic)

…naaaaaaaaaah.

…Gin and Vodka hadn't been at Tropical Land that day?

"Wow, Shinichi, can you believe it?"

"Can I believe what?"

"We've been here the entire day, and nothing has happened! No murders, no screams for help, no emergencies, no nothing! It's been such a peaceful day!"

"I know, it's weird!"

Beat.

Cough.

Fidget.

"By the way, Ran, got something to tell you. Been meaning to mention it for a while now."

"What's that?"

"I love you. You're really hot."

"Really?"

Shinichi and Ran got on the Ferris Wheel and rode to the top.

Snogging ensued.

…Shinichi had told Ran the truth about who he was right up front?

"Ran…it's me," the little boy said, eyes wide behind glasses.

She looked at him, confused.

"Ran, I'm Shinichi."

Ran gaped for a second, ascertained that he was telling the truth, and proceeded to faint, having just finished telling the aforementioned small child with the glasses that she was head over heels in love with her best friend—namely, Shinichi. Who the little boy now claimed to be.

When she came to, Ran listened to the whole story, and then decided to permit "Conan" to live.

She also gave permission for him to stay with her and her father—after putting in place a strict code of rules concerning various people's honor, and threatening various amounts of bodily harm should those rules be broken.

And they lived happily ever after, if a bit awkwardly at times, given the situation.

Oh, and somewhere along the line, Shinichi dropped the fact that he was crazy about her too.

Snogging en—wait, no, that's a felony.

…Shinichi tried to tell Ran his feelings before everything happened?

"Hey, Ran!"

She turned and smiled as her best friend approached. "Shinichi!"

Unbeknownst to Ran, Shinichi had vowed that today was the day he would tell Ran how he felt about her, come hell or high water or mysterious men in black bearing terrible poisons capable of shrinking adults down to child-size…pshaw, yeah, right.

He jogged to catch up, and casually fell into step beside her for their usual walk home from school. "Hello, Ran." There was a pause as he shot her a sidelong glance, fighting to pull together a few shreds of courage. "How are you?"

"I'm great," she smiled.

Okay, it was time to confess. Unfortunately, his mouth took on a life of its own. "…I've got legs!"

Ran looked down. "Yes, you certainly do."

A pause. Shinichi tried to gather his thoughts, aaaaaand… "Do you like bread?"

"Umm, sure, I guess so."

"Good." Okay, maybe tomorrow.

Snogging would have ensued, if Shinichi hadn't been a chicken.

…Heiji and Kazuha were actually honest with each other?

There was some sort of a dangerous situation in which one or both of them were nearly killed in a highly contrived way. Fortunately, they both managed to kick some serious ass in one way or another, and fought their way out of it, bringing the Bad Guys to justice in the process.

The first minute they were both alone, they fell into each other's arms to share a heartfelt confession, and years of pent-up longing and frustration all came crashing out at once.

Snogging ensued. Copious amounts of it.

Shortly thereafter, the neighbors started complaining about the noise.

…Heiji hadn't figured out who Conan really was?

"Ya know, kid," Hattori Heiji said, looking down on the bespectacled child beside him with a certain degree of suspicion, "you're cute and smart and all, but you really bug the hell out of me."

Conan blinked innocently up at him. "I'm sorry."

Snogging en—no. Just no.

…the poison had worked the way it was supposed to?

The newspapers heralded the tidings that up-and-coming high school detective Kudo Shinichi had been found dead under a bridge after solving a startling murder case at Tropical Land not an hour before.

Police were baffled.

And Ran cried. A lot.

Snogging did not ensue.

Because Shinichi was dead.

…Ran was a six-foot mongoose?

One very irritated teenage detective glared angrily up at the sky. "Okay, now you're just being ridiculous." At his feet, a very large, very unhappy mongoose named Ran whimpered.

Shinichi patted her on the head affectionately. "Don't worry, Ran, we'll get you back to normal."

And I'm not even going to make the snogging joke.

The running gag, I'm sure, was fairly obvious. For some reason, I'm rather fond of the word 'snogging.' Don't ask me why. And the Spot the Reference belongs to Eddie Izzard—it's the "I've got legs" part.