Disclaimer: Peacemaker belongs to Nanae Chrono. And not a blip like me.

A/N: Thanks to all my great readers/reviewers! I'm so happy you guys are enjoying the story. Sorry it took me so long to update... I've been at war with my professors--they're drowning me with essays...Gah! (is pulled under by a wave of papers)

Chapter Twelve: Not Goodbye

Tears fell freely down Hijikata's round cheeks as he howled, and Souji watched in bewilderment as they plopped to the floor. Though it was really the feared demon of the Shinsengumi in a five year old body, he just looked like a child who desperately needed a hug.

Souji fought the urge remarkably well, reminding himself of Hijikata's distressed emotional state and history of homicidal tendencies. He gave him a sympathetic look though, and said reassuringly, "Don't worry Hijikata-san, you still have me!"

This was probably not the consolation Hijikata wanted because his comment went ignored. Instead, the Fukuchou went quiet for a moment, and reached up with a hand to wipe away his tears, but when he glanced at his chubby fingers, his howling intensified. "I'm in the body of a brat," he wept to himself, "and there's a candy god standing in front of me disguised as an old man with rubber hands," His sobs grew louder, "who's killed the real Souji!"

And he started bawling again.

"Now now," said Souji soothingly. "You're being awfully melodramatic Hijikata-san. If you would just take a moment to compose yourself, we could--"

"Don't talk to me!" Hijikata bellowed, loud enough that Takeshi winced. "I don't want to hear so much as a sound from you!"

"You're being unreasonable so there's no point in me trying to help," said Souji miserably, moving closer towards the Kami, who sympathetically patted him on the back.

"Just leave it up to me," the old man whispered, and winked.

Souji stared at him dolefully. The last time Takeshi had said something along those lines, he'd given him the infamous piece of candy. Yes, Souji respected, admired, and even loved him, since he was the Candy Kami, but he definitely didn't trust him.

"Thanks," he whispered back. "But I'd prefer it if you don't, um, try anything else...you know..."

Before Takeshi could answer, Hijikata suddenly jumped to his feet. Watching the two whisper, he was quite convinced that the Candy man was once again, attempting to brainwash his captain. Oh the indignantion, the fury, that surged through the pint sized vice commander at that very moment!

"Grrrr..." His maddened red eyes turned into slits as they focused on Takeshi. "You!" he shrieked, tugging at his bangs. "You're the cause of all this! And I can't..." His shoulders heaved, he seemed stricken by a very painful realisation. "And I can't kill you!"

"That's true," admitted Takeshi, stroking his chin. "But you know," and he looked at him kindly, "I'm glad you're letting go of all these pent up emotions. Holding it inside isn't healthy at all. In fact, you've been doing a lot of that lately. But now it's not so easy is it?" He chuckled. "Small children can't hold anything inside. If they need to laugh, they laugh. If they need to cry, they cry. If they need to rage, they rage. Without any reservations. That is the ultimate joy of youth, I say. Bottling it all inside will just make you feel very miserable."

He smiled, and winked. "Isn't that right, Toshi-chan?"

Hijikata's eyes bulged.

o-o-o-o

"And then..." Yamanami laughed hysterically. "And then I realised the child was Hijikata!"

He downed another cup of sake. "It's all so funny," he murmured, eyes suddenly filled with tears. "The world's finally coming to an end, my dear!" He rested his head against Akesato's silk clad shoulder, and blubbered uncontrollably. "It's just so sudden!"

She laughed uncomfortably. So this morning hadn't been a trick of the light. As she gazed out her window, she had seen Suzu stroll pass with what she had thought looked like a miniture Yoshida. Long hair swept over one side of the face, a black yukata, even a little sword by his side. She had laughed uncontrollably at the time, wondering if Suzu really was mentally unstable, dressing up a random child as his beloved Master.

But now her lover was going on about a Shinsengumi commander being turned into a child? She remembered the scowl on the little Yoshida's face, and the way Suzu's eyes were darting around uncomfortably as they hurried along...

The world worked in strange ways, and the gods were crazy, she had known that from a young age, but there was nothing you could do except just go on with life.

"That isn't any way to speak," she scolded Yamanami lightly. "It's quite obvious that you had a nightmare, my love. It certainly doesn't mean the world is coming to an end."

"But it wouldn't be so bad," he said drowsily. "We could stay like this until it happened you know. I don't even have to leave. I always wanted to die with you."

"Yamanami-han..." Akesato felt the same shiver she always felt whenever he mentioned death. During these troubled times, when death was always there, staring at her, smiling at her, with every day that passed, she certainly didn't want to hear it from him. Death smiled at them all...didn't someone once say that? All you could do was smile back.

"You just had a nightmare," she repeated more firmly. "That's all it was."

Yamanami giggled. "Shouldn't one have nightmares at night, dear? Seems rather odd to have one during the day."

She sighed inwardly. No matter how drunk he was, he was never drunk enough. He always managed to retain some sort of intelligence, which Akesato thought was quite remarkable. "Actually, it makes perfect sense," she replied soothingly. "The woman said you bumped your head. Obviously, you fell unconscious near the shop, and dreamt the whole thing up. It makes perfect sense."

Yamanami lifted his head from her shoulder, and looked at her hopefully. "If you put it that way...it does...doesn't it?"

"Yes.." Akesato smiled, trying to be patient. "Perfect sense, love."

A relieved smile spread over Yamanami's face. "Thank heavens," he breathed. "I wasn't all that comfortable with the notion of the world ending, really." He paused, then truthfully added, "But I did want to spend it with you."

Akesato smiled again, seductively this time.

"I believe you," she whispered in his ear. "Now why don't we forget this silly hallucination, and go back to me thanking you for your lovely present?"

o-o-o-o

Hijikata roared as he attacked Takeshi's shelves, hurling bottles and trays in all possible directions. He flung them, broke them and smashed them, grinding the sweets beneath his feet with a triumphant half crazed look on his face.

"Take this!" he hollered, gleefully sending another tray crashing. "You wrinkled up bastard!"

Souji watched in shock as the fine candies went skittering across the floor in front of him. He was unable to speak, so stricken that this was happening in front of the Kami. Unable to move, he could not approach the crazy ball of vengeance that had once been Hijikata-san to try and stop him. Souji vigorously shook his head, trying to snap out of his daze, and stole a fearful glance at Takeshi. What he saw made his eyes widen in surprise.

The Kami was watching the destruction of his shop with a relaxed smile on his face.

"Takeshi-sama.." Souji whispered, nervously playing with his sleeves, "...maybe I should knock him out...he..he's ruining everything!"

His vision blurred, the delicious sweets were being destroyed! But he couldn't intervene, there was no possible way he could approach Hijikata in the mentally unbalanced state he was in now. Having come to the horrifying conclusion that he could not murder Takeshi, Hijikata was trying to murder his shop.

Takeshi placed a hand on Souji's shoulder. "It's almost over," he said, folding his arms and nodding. "Soon, he'll be a man again."

Souji looked incredulous. "You mean.. you're going to change him back?" he asked in disbelief. Hijikatawas basically destroyingeverything he made--and Takeshi was going to reward him for it? He wondered if maybe the Kami was a tiny bit insane.

Takeshi chuckled. "Not me. I'm not the one changing him back. He's doing it all on his own."

Souji glanced at the little Hijikata again, watched as he stomped on the candies, watched as he kicked at the shelves. "I'm afraid I don't understand," he uttered at last, feeling the beginnings of a migraine. "All he's doing is throwing a tantrum. It would be like you're rewarding him for doing the wrong thing."

Takeshi laughed heartily at Souji's earnest words. "That's right, I forgot to tell you how the magic is reversed. No wonder you're confused. " He scratched his head, eyes twinkling. "We did get sidetracked didn't we...I remember explaining it to your little friend though. The redhead. I thought he would tell you."

He laughed internally and thought to himself, He probably got sidetracked too...

"Tetsu-kun?" asked Souji in surprise. "You mean he came back here?"

"Indeed, he did. He was very interested in the rainbow candy I gave you. He seemed to think it was for your own personal vengeance, but I told him it was for enlightenment. I told him that your friend here had to realise the joys of youth before he could ever change back." He paused. "Do you understand, Soujirou?"

Souji's brow furrowed. The joys of youth? Where had he heard that before?

Then it dawned on him. What Takeshi had been saying earlier, before Hijikata blew up.

"Small children can't hold anything inside. If they need to laugh, they laugh. If they need to cry, they cry. If they need to rage, they rage. Without any reservations. That is the ultimate joy of youth..."

The Kami saw the expression that came over Souji's face and smiled. "That's right. Your friend has laughed like a child. Your friend has cried like a child. Your friend is now raging like a child. It's as simple as that. His inner child is satisfied, and he can go back to being a man."

Instead of feeling relief, like he expected he would once Hijikata was changed back, Souji felt a pang. Toshi-chan was gone, had been gone since their encounter with Yamanami, but he hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. Souji had spent only a short time with the five year old Hijikata, but in that short time, he'd become quite attached to him...

Takeshi noticed his forlorn expression.

"You know son, I think you're too soft for a swordsman," he commented wryly. "..But don't worry yourself, you'll get a chance to say goodbye to the little one."

Souji brightened. "Really?"

The old man nodded as he turned to look at the Fukuchou, who was lying sprawled on the floor now, too exhausted to move. To his left and right, everything was lying in a puddle of rubble and candy. His slow transition back to a man meant he had regained some of his old strength a little too quickly.

He panted as he stared at the Kami with hate-filled eyes.

Takeshi clapped his hands, and Hijikata promptly sat up, as though he were a puppet.When his eyes opened, he looked entirely different. Not like his Fukuchou self, and not like his Fukuchou self in a five year old body. Just the five year old.

Confused, Toshi-chan rubbed his eyes and looked around. Subsequently, he noticed what was lying all over the floor. His eyes widened. "Wow!"

With a squeal of delight, he picked up a sweet and popped it in his mouth.

"Yum!" he declared happily, crawling towards the other squashed, smashed and scattered candies, and eating those too. "Soujirou, look!" the boy said excitedly as he munched. "There's candy on the floor...but it's squashed.."

He seemed puzzled as he tried to peel a stomped sweet off the floor. "...looks like someone did fighting here!"

Souji laughed as he crouched before him and ruffled his hair. That would be an accurate assumption, he thought wryly.

"Here!" Toshi generously offered him some of the crushed sweets he had salvaged. "You can have some!"

"No thanks," said Souji. "I think I've had enough candy for a day! Enough candy for a whole week actually!" He shook his head and laughed some more. He caught Takeshi's eye and they both burst out laughing.

Toshi looked at them with big puzzled eyes, but soon became preoccupied with the rest of the sweet covered floor. Then, when he was satisfied with having tried every sweet in sight, he crawled towards Souji and climbed into his lap.

"You're sad," he said finally, touching Souji's face. "Why?"

"It's because you have to go," Souji replied, feeling a lump in his throat. "Play time is over Toshi-chan."

The boy rubbed his eyes. Souji watched as he yawned. Was it just him or did the child look really sleepy?

"You're weally nice, Soujirou," Toshi said shyly. "I had fun playing with you."

"Me too," said Souji, feeling the lump increase in size.

They were interrupted by the sound of Takeshi loudly blowing his nose. They looked at him in surprise.

"Oh don't mind me," the old man waved his hands, looking tearful. "I always get emotional during these moments." He dabbed at his nose with his handkerchief.

Toshi giggled and Souji whispered to him, "He's a funny old man, isn't he?"

The boy grinned. "Yeah!"

There was a silence in the room then, as Souji looked at Toshi, and Toshi looked at Souji. The grown child and the real child.

Souji looked at him, puzzled, the boy looked as though he was working up the courage to say something. It seemed strange, since five year olds naturally said everything on their mind, as the boy himself had proved earlier in the day.

"You're not my real brother," Toshi said, suddenly. He hesitated, then smiled. "But if I could choose, I'd choose you. You're not just my friend, you're my brother, even if not by blood. And I don't just need you, I love you."

Souji stared at him. Those were mighty big words coming from a five year old. He felt kind of spooked, actually.

Toshi pointed behind him, as if to explain. Souji turned his head, and his eyes widened in surprise. Hijikata was lying there! The real Hijikata! In his normal full grown size. Fast asleep, it seemed. Souji turned back to the little boy.

"Is that what he thinks?" he asked, feeling lighter. "Truly?"

"Yep!" The boy suddenly reached up and hugged him. "Him. Me. It's the same." He thought for a moment, and added, "But don't tell him. He'll explode."

He nodded matter-of-factly.

Souji giggled, covering his mouth with his hand. "I don't know if I'll be able to resist..."

"Time for Toshi-chan to go," interrupted Takeshi, eyes still watery. "Quickly now!"

Reluctantly, Souji released the little boy he had grown so fond of, then watched as he tiptoed over a bottle and stepped towards the sleeping Hijikata.

It was all very odd, looking at these two people who were actually the one person, so different and yet so alike, and thinking about it made his brain hurt, and really it shouldn't at all be possible, but Souji found he was glad that it was.

"Bye then," he whispered, giving a little wave. He felt strange as he uttered these words, like he was sad, and yet at the same time, not sad. But the feeling wasn't unbearable, because for some reason, he felt like the little boy wasn't really going to be gone...

Toshi-chan grinned, before jumping up and straight down into Hijikata's chest.

Souji gasped.

He went right through him! In him!

Only his head was poking out. "Not goodbye," the boy laughed. "It's see you later!" He pulled out a hand, waved and disappeared into his adult self.