Title: The Cliches are coming!
Chapter: Mary sues and Marty stus
Author: ferretgirl1124
Pairing(s): RobinxOC, RavenxOCxStarfire, implied BBxTerra
Genre: Parody, Humor
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A collection of parodies that should never have been written, but were anyways.
A/N: Where this came from, I will never know. And the names? Yeah, they scare me. >>
Dedicated to: SabreJustice, who encouraged me to continue this.
All was quiet in the city of no-one-quite-knows-its-real-name-because-they-don't-pay-attention. A gaint 'T' shaped building stood in the harbor, all occupats sleeping calmly, despite the fact that their home appeared to be floating away. It wasn't actually, but the newest laws of physics state that if something is ignored in fanfiction enough, it ceases to exist all together. Such was the case of the island that their home once stood on.
Truthfully, they were afraid they would loose their home soon, and they knew they needed a hero. Fortunately, an amazing young lady just happened to be in the neighborhood. Her name was Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire, and she was amazing. That was her power. She was the same height as Starfire, with Raven's body type, and everyone loved her. Oh, and she could control the earth, 'cause she was just that cool.
So she brought the island back, and everyone cheered. Robin threw himself at her feet, ripping off his mask to reveal love-filled eyes. But not lust, because Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire was too sweet and innocent to inspire lust.
"Oh, Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire, I love you!" And of course, no one thought of shortening her name, because she was perfect and deserved the twenty seconds it took to spit out all those syllables, "I here-by dedicate to give up my life of secrecy and dedication to stopping Slade! My only goal will be to become as good as you at martial arts!"
Because she was a black-belt in things he'd never heard of, of course. Didn't you know that? Silly people.
Now it was Beast Boy's turn. But suddenly, Starfire and Raven pushed him out of the way to hug the beautiful girl.
"Oh, Rae-bee-ter-arg," Raven paused to take a deep breath, "-pan-kol-jin-Fire! You have taught me to experience emotions without putting others in danger! Your astounding beauty has also turned me into a lesbian! Marry me!"
But Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire shook her head, because she was too perfect to be gay, and because she had a thing for people in charge. But only good people in charge; she had given the Justice League lectures on ethics, after all.
So she wandered off with Robin and they had hot but somehow sweet and innocent sex on the beach, despite the fact that their beach was covered in pointy rocks, and left Raven, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy to lament over their lost love. Oops, did I say lament? Sorry. Too big a word. I meant whine.
But then...something happened! Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-Fire had a twin brother who was just as perfect as she was, and he appeared miraculously. His name was...(wait for it, wait for it..) Rob-bea-cyb-aqu-spe-kil-mas-men-her-gna-Flash. His name takes thirty seconds to say.
Raven and Starfire gasped, but Beast Boy jumped him first, "Oh, Rob-bea-cyb-aqu-spe-kil-mas-men-her-gna-Flash! You are the most wonderful thing I have ever seen! You have made me forget completely about Terra, and any attraction I might have had to Raven! Marry me!" But he shook his head, because he was also too perfect too be gay.
So he wandered away with Starfire and Raven to have hot but completely kind and understanding sex. Yes, both of them. He is the perfect guy, after all, and couldn't stand to leave adoring fans behind. Unless they were guys, of course.
And Rae-bee-ter-arg-pan-kol-jin-Fire and Rob-bea-cyb-aqu-spe-kil-mas-men-her-gna-Flash went on to save the world multiple times and have much more hot but somehow sweet and innocent, and hot but kind and understanding sex. And they all lived happily ever after, except for Beast Boy and Cyborg, and the multitudes of other Titans and villians not mentioned here.