Chapter 7- Gaara Insanity! Part 1
(A/N: This is one of the most delayed chapters I've ever done, along with one of the longest, since I really hate long winded discussions, oh well, Enjoy!)
Warning: Contains references to Naruto, Hellsing, Fourth Wall, Dane Cook, Jim Carrey and Sesame Street. This text is not recommended for the weak of heart, or children.
MV: Sorry for the delay everyone, but welcome back to another hilarious installment of KYS: Naruto.
MV: Well, I have another victim…um…person, in the studio today.
"Please welcome, Sabaku no Gaara!"
Audience Claps
Gaara walks out across the stage and takes a seat
MV: Welcome Gaara, do you have anything to say to the audience before we start our hilarious rant about many stupid things that the fans think of you?
Gaara: Silence
MV: Okay then, let's begin our crazy, fun- filled night!
MV: Gaara- Is afraid of cats!
Audience stares
MV: What, it's a classic?
"Gaara is afraid of cats because he thinks that they'll use his sand like a litter box."
Gaara: silent
Gaara fan girl: You suck!
Audience Member: Too soon!
MV: Gaara- scares small children!
Gaara: puts on a creepy smile
MV: What the hell?
"I think all I'm doing is making him happy…"
MV: Well at least its better than the time I took Alucard to a Blood Drive.
Flashback
MV: Alucard, this isn't a buffet, it's a charity event!"
Alucard: Bloooood! Devouring several bags of medicinal blood
MV: God, Integra is so gonna have my ass for this one…
End Flashback
MV: Well, trying to forget the incidents of the past, let's go back to teasing the sand toting red head we all know, and several busty fan girls find cute and cuddly.
MV: Gaara- has a teddy bear!
Gaara: tearing up I used to!
MV: Oh shit…
Angry Gaara fan girls start growling
MV: Here you go Gaara, don't cry. gives Gaara a teddy bear
Gaara: Hugs it and smiles
MV: Well this worked out well.
Gaara fan girls cool down
"Now, Gaara- wanted to crush Rock Lee with his sand!"
Gaara: That was true, I mean, come on!
"Who wouldn't want to kill that carbon copy of Maito Gai?"
MV: You've got a point there.
"Well you didn't want to kill him afterwards, right?"
Gaara: Meh, it's not worth my time.
MV: Then why the hell did you save him by killing Kimimaru?
Gaara: Hell, the producers though it would be a good show of faith for the anime, showing that my character has changed through the course of the series.
Kool Aid Man breaks through the wall
Kool Aid Man: Oh yeah!
MV: What the hell?
Manager walks on stage
Manager: Um, sir… we have a situation…
MV: Hell yeah we have a situation!
"Why did the fucking Kool Aid Man just break through the studio wall?"
Manager: I believe it's because Gaara here broke the fourth wall with his little speech.
MV: But why the Kool Aid Man?
"Yes I supposed we should elaborate on the stories humor through a visible metaphor, but really, the Kool Aid Man?"
Manager: Would you prefer a roller coaster crashing through the wall?
MV: No way in hell I'm risking an outbreak of Uber-SARS.
Manager: Then settle for the Kool Aid Man, he's the only guy who we could get on such short notice.
MV: slaps forehead Fine!
MV: snaps fingers
Nothing happens
"What the hell, why isn't this working?"
Manager: Sir, I think it isn't working due to the fact that it only works when the author does it. It is his…
MV: I don't want another jug of powdered beverage breaking through this wall again. So I suggest you do not finish that sentence.
Kool Aid Man breaks through wall again
Kool Aid Man: Oh yeah!
MV: eye twitching
Manager: Well I think we'll continue this story after our gracious host here gets to a hospital.
MV: If you excuse me, I have to find a giant sledgehammer, so I can finally kill that giant beverage!
Kool Aid Man: Oh no!
MV: pulls out a sledgehammer
"Oh yeah, bitch!"
MV starts chasing around Kool Aid Man
Manager: Okay then… Gaara, have anything to say to the audience?
Gaara: This chapter of KYS: Naruto has been brought to you by the letter K and the letter S, and the number 23!
MV: Hell no, we do not need Jim Carrey popping up in his acting role from the first and hopefully only horror movie he's been in. But I think the Sesame Street reference is cute.
Kool Aid Man breaks through the wall again
MV: Come back here and die like a man you bowl of fruit punch!
MV: This has been Part 1 of "Gaara Insanity"; please stay tuned for Part 2.
Moral of the Story: MV really hates things breaking through his walls, and Kool Aid, especially Kool Aid…
A/N: Please read and review!