My Inner Heart

Summary: Cagalli reflects on the event of Kira's 'death' and her encounter with Athrun. She never got to tell him…

Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Seed, you wouldn't know who the hell Fllay was…

"Say something Kira!" she ordered the brunette as she glared at him. He stood still for a moment. "Look, could you tell them sorry, but not now?"…"For me?" he added. She looked from the observation deck where his parents were, and back to him with evident question in her eyes. "I don't think, right now is," he looked down as tears began building in his eyes as he seemed to recall something.

His bangs shadowed his eyes as Cagalli turned to him. "Okay," she replied and watched him walk a ways away from her. "Take care of yourself Cagalli, okay? And thanks for everything." Kira said, and turned around once more.

Cagalli shook her head and ran in his direction. "Kira!" she shouted and fell into his chest while throwing her arms around his neck. He stood frozen, unsure of what to do, when she spoke. "Listen, stay alive," she asked with a sadness in her voice. Kira smiled with a soft grunt. "Don't you worry," he hugged her waist briefly. "Nothing is gonna happen to me," a small stream of tears fell from his eyes.

She stood on the deck and watched as the Archangel left port. The wind gently blew her hair, swaying it slightly. Kira still stood on the small deck of the Archangel. His short hair swayed softly, his lavender eyes full of sorrow and regret. This was the last she'd see of him, but neither of them knew that…

Waking, she looked around her room, and felt tears stinging her eyes and already running down her face. "Why Kira? Why, did you have to go?" she asked the darkness, "You left, and I never got to say," she chocked on her tears and doubled over to wretch out her sobs.

She watched him sleep, the pilot of the Aegis. He stirred, and winced from the dim light in the room. He tried to sit up, struggling with his arm.

"I see you're awake," she said flatly with no emotion shown in her voice. He looked over to her. "At the moment, you're aboard an Orb aircraft. We decided to take you in after we found you lying on a beach." The boy continued to look at her, and looked down, "Orb…What is a neutral nation like Orb want with me?" he asked. But looking back up to her, a smirk on his face, "Or am I in the hands of the Earth Forces?"

"There's something I have to know," she began as he took the IV needle out of his arm and rubbed where it had been. "Are you the one who destroyed the Strike?" she asked with a vengeance. His smirk dropped and his eyes widened. "…It was me…" he answered after a few moments. "Huh?" she asked with surprise. But she frowned angrily, the grip on her gun tightening. "What happened to the pilot? Did he escape like you did: Eject?" a small trace of hope was caught in her voice. His emerald eyes narrowed. "Or," she looked down, her gun still pointed at him. "We couldn't find Kira, anywhere! Say something!" she demanded. But his response didn't soothe her open wound, "He's gone…" Looking down, the boy smirked again, "Because I took his life." he added. Her eyes widened.

But he wouldn't stop cutting deeper into her soul, "It's true, I did it, I trapped the Strike with my Aegis…and blew up." she grit her teeth as he spoke, her arm trembling. "I don't see how he could have escaped." she growled and grabbed the collar of his shirt with her free hand, pointing the gun under his chin. But he continued, "That was the only option I had left, to finish him." She gripped the gun and his shirt tighter. Her eyes began to sting from tears, but they also widened in shock when he looked into her eyes and tears were coursing down his cheeks. "MUDERER!" she screeched as she threw him back down onto the bed and let go of him, running to the opposite wall and punching it as hard as she could.

"It's not fair!" he sat back up again. "But why?" he asked as she sobbed, "Am I still alive?" She looked over her shoulder toward him and anger and hate boiled inside of her. "I guess because I got out just in time," he answered himself. The gun was once again pointed at him. Looking towards her with a grim look on his face, "Or maybe, you're destined to finish me?" Cagalli looked towards him with sad, lost eyes. "Kira, took too many risks, didn't always know what he was doing and always cried. But he was Kind! He was a nice guy!" He looked away from her, his next words shocked her even more. "Yeah, I know. Sounds like Kira hadn't changed a bit. He was always like that," Cagalli frowned sadly, "Did you?" "He was a sentimental crybaby, and he was smart but he never thought things through." "Did you really know Kira!" she asked amazed. He smiled, "Yes, we were close, we've been friends, ever since the days we were kids. We were the best of friends," She winced, the tears rolling off her cheeks. "But then! That's crazy! If you consider yourself such a good friend, then why would you do this!" she asked, grabbing the collar of his shirt again. He couldn't look at her, "I-I don't know. I have no idea why either, okay?" he shouted.

"We separated as friends, and the next time I saw him we were enemies." "Enemies?" she asked quietly. "I asked him to come with us over and over! Because he was a coordinator, can't you see? He was one of us, that's where he belonged! It wasn't right for him to be on the side of the Earth Forces!" he exclaimed with anger, and self hate. "So you-?" "but whenever we talked he wouldn't listen! He fought against us, even hurting friends of mine, and then he took Nicol's life." Her voice trembled, "And so, that's why you did this to your, your friend?" He looked up at her with anger, "He was an enemy! He wasn't on my side anymore! I had no choice but to destroy him!" the tears were falling from his eyes heavily as he told her this.

She shook him, "You idiot! How could ever have come up with anything so stupid! How could end up doing something so terrible-?" she asked with tears falling from her eyes. "He took Nicol's life right before my eyes! Nicol was fifteen, he loved the piano, he only fought to protect the PLANTs, and Kira just cut him down," Cagalli had to say something, "The reason Kira fought was to protect other people too, but it doesn't explain why he had to pay with his life!" He looked at her angrily, "And at the hands of his best friend! Of all people!" her words shook him. He looked down and closed his eyes, crying from the pain. "One guy takes a life for vengeance, then someone gets revenge by taking his life! How is that kind of thinking ever gonna bring us peace! Well!" the boy in her grasp cried, his sobs wracking through his body. She leaned her head on his shoulder and cried with him.

Lying in her bed, she felt the tears stain her pillow. Her golden eyes were filled with guilt and sorrow, why was Kira dead? He didn't deserve to die. She knew she loved him, but now it was too late, he was gone. "Kira, I love you, please, if you can hear me, remember that," she cried, bringing her legs closer to her body.

Sorry it's a sad ending, but we all know Kira was alive the whole time, when I saw the episode I cried tears of joy when he was just fine with Lacus. As soon as I saw her in phase 10, I knew she was meant to be with Kira, hehe. Well, I hope you enjoyed!

POMH!

Sam