5/18/02... that's only ... err... two years mumbles oops? I've done worse! Well, Anime High was being a stick in the mud, and I was listening to a lot of Offspring... So... this chapter was born. It is very possible that this is the LAST chapter! The End! Finished! Bye-bye! So, tell me what you think! And I might go back later and edit the early chapters 'cause ... yeah. They're bad. ehem
Disclaimer: I do not own Gudam Wing, Sailor Moon, or Offspring lyrics, and I am not making money off of them. Scouts honor.
Living In Chaos
The groceries were sitting on the table and I wondered idly how long it would take the milk to spoil. I sighed and looked down at my hands. I was clutching my knees so tight that my knuckles were turning white. I exhaled slowly and released my knees before leaning back in the couch.
Usagi was sitting across from me, she looked betrayed and I could tell she was fighting back more tears. God, I hate it when she cries. It makes me feel so... so damn helpless and guilty. I'd do anything in this godforsaken world to make her smile. With her red eyes and tear streaked cheeks I just want to pull her into my arms, but I know that's the last thing she wants right now.
"Why?" She repeats her question. She finally looks over at me, her sapphire blue eyes full of unshed tears. "I thought you said you wanted out of this kind of life." She gestured to the gun that sat between us on the coffee table. Lying next to it was the slip of paper and my scribbled handwriting.
"USagi, God, I... I want a good life for you and I." I stood and started to pace in front of the couch.
"So you thought you'd start killing again? That's a good life for us?" Usagi cried out angrily.
"No, it's not, but, Christ Usagi, I can't get a fucking job anywhere! They see the name Heero Yuy and see Gundam Pilot. Everyone's glad that the war is over but no one wants to be around one of us 'killers'. I don't want us living in poverty, you deserve better." I explained, becoming more frustrated every second. I hate trying to express myself, it never comes out the way I intended and I desperately need Usagi to understand. "What the Hell is wrong with the world? We save their sorry asses and how do they repay us? Shunning, that's what!" I turned and knelt in front of Usagi. "I did lie to you, because I knew you'd be mad, but Usagi, being a bounty hunter is the only way I can get decent money for you and I."
"But as a bounty hunter?" Usagi asked. I could hear the weariness in her voice.
"Usagi, they give me two thousand American dollars per job. That's two hundred and twenty thousand yen." I watched Usagi's eyes widen in disbelief. "And that's with a couple jobs a week. Usagi, we can move out this pathetic one room apartment. We could get a house. A house! With... with a yard and I could afford you a ring. A real diamond ring." I started to sound frantic. But I can't loose Usagi, she's the world to me! I can't live with out her...
"A... a ring?" Usagi sounded hopeful as her eyes searched mine.
"Yes. A ring." I nodded. I took her hands into mine, they're so small and delicate compared to mine. Unblemished and callous free. I wanted to keep her hands perfect. "I know that we've only been together a few months, but I can't imagine the rest of my life with out you." I told her firmly. I watched her eyes sparkle with a new kind of tear.
"Heero." Her breath caught in her throat and she lunged herself into my arms. I clutched her to my chest and buried my face into her golden hair. I felt her fingers run though mine and a hugged her tighter. "Yes, I do too, God yes, I do." She mumbled and I ran my fingers soothingly up and down her back.
"Are you okay with my new job now?" I asked quietly.
I could feel her hesitating. She pulled back in my arms to look in my eyes. She looked uncertain and a little scared. "I...I guess." She responded quietly.
I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Things will be okay." I reassure her. She still looked uncertain but she smiled up at me.
###
Somewhere the time was right, could have been gone in ten
This world is hard to fight, hitting you once, hit it again
To know the way it feels, everyone gets knocked down
When you get up it¹s real, by taking it back, turn it around
###
Get on it, up on it
Get on it ˜ wouldn't wanna be you
Get on it, out on it
Get on it ˜ no one¹s gonna free you
###
I took Usagi out the next day to ger her an engagement ring. I know that this is a form of bribery to still keep me, but I'm desperate to keep Usagi. I know I spent too much money, and Usagi flinched when I payed in cash since she knew exactly where I got it from, but her eyes danced with so much joy as she gazed at the ring. We picked out the Penelope setting with tear drop sapphires surrounding a princess cut diamond on a white gold band. Usagi loved it.
It's amazing what paying in cash can do though, they had the ring ready for wear in less than an hour.
She glowed for the rest of the afternoon and took every opportunity to show it off, and I was happy that she was happy.
Until the cell phone rang.
Usagi didn't want me to go, but she didn't say anything. I could tell by the way her eyes lost their luster. When I kissed her she didn't want to let go and she softly whispered "Be careful, love." before I took off.
###
You know, when you¹re keeping it slow
No matter where you wanna go ˜ wouldn't wanna be you
Get on it, up on it
It's on ˜ we're living in chaos
###
That job went smoothly. Five deaths all with no leads or clues to the killer. The next seven jobs were just as smooth.
Usagi and I moved out of the tiny apartment that I had acquired when I first moved here. It wasn't to a house, unfortunately, but a much bigger apartment, which my syndicate considered a safe neighborhood since I was becoming more valuable to them. Usagi didn't mind, and she had a blast decorating our new home and buying brand new furniture instead of second hand. She invited the Senshi over two days ago, and they–of course–didn't approve.
"Usagi, are materialistic items that he can buy you all you can think about now?" Rei asked, was only one of the snide questions that they had thrown at her.
"Oh how the mighty have fallen." Minako whispered to Makoto behind Usagi's back and unknowing that I was in hearing range.
I could tell that they hurt her by rejecting me and she has slowly been losing touch with them and I just couldn't bring myself to feel sorry. I certainly comforted her, and the sex is still great, but I didn't attempt to convince her to reconcile with them.
Our neighbor across the hall was a frequent partner of mine, nicknamed Ace because of his marksmanship. He was a few years older than me and was married to a small brunette that always spoke her mind–usually against the government–and had a bubbly personality. Usagi became fast friends with the likable girl. I was just glad that she was getting away from the Senshi.
My next mission was a complete disaster. I wasn't partnered with Ace, but a complete idiot that got himself shot just under a dozen times and I felt no pity for the imbecile. I was shot through the shoulder because of his carelessness but I still managed to kill of the target and eight of his body guards. After seeing our doctor I was promoted and given an extra two thousand dollars a job. The American lackey chuckled and said something about how I really was the 'Perfect Soldier'.
Hnn.
###
Somewhere along the line, things get chipped away
This place keeps going down, gets a little worse every day
I see hate and greed, this world¹s a messed up town
Embrace the pain and see, by taking it back, you turn it around
###
End?
Now, this could either be seen as the end... or if I get some idea or enough encouragement I'll keep going with this...
Thanks to: Gackt Camui, Riuka, Katlin Grace, fiore-chan, Ginny Starwind, liz, Saturnpyroprincess (thanks! GLOMP), alexz, Firefly-chan, Faery Moon, SiLvErFaTeD, chibi chibi GW, silver-tiger11, Zetes, till'iburnout, and nanagirl!!