Edward groaned, slowly returning to consciousness. The last thing he remembered was him leaping…he didn't know quite where from, though. What he did recall about what had happened was…was…

He opened his eyes, blinking in an attempt to return his vision to him. It did, to a degree; it was dark, wherever he was, and he couldn't really tell what time it was. And it was so quiet…he could hear the gears in his auto-mail shifting as he forced himself into an upright position. After a moment of dizziness, he took a few deep breaths and looked around him carefully.

He seemed to be sitting in a field…no, he was on a lawn; that was obvious from the blades of grass poking him through his pants. There was also a lake nearby, although it could have been a mirror for all he knew; it was so glassy. A shack and a forest stood to his left, and next to him was…

Ed's eyes narrowed as they traveled over the unconscious man next to him. He'd seen him in Munich once…labeled as a…what was it? Abomination, they had called him…yes, that was the one…he'd been led to the prison, screaming random obscenities and two names, as far as Ed could make out. "Harry" and "Remus," he thought they were. When he'd seen him, he'd pitied him for a moment of his precious time, and then returned to his research on how to get back to Amestris. When he'd found a way and leapt out of that world, the man had grabbed him, a desperate look in his eyes. No words were exchanged, but Ed had let him come for reasons even he didn't know.

…Maybe the look in the man's eyes was too much like Ed's own…desperate.

Whoever this man was didn't matter…or, rather, it was too trivial for the moment. What really mattered was the fact that he was out of Munich now; he had to look for Alphonse and…no, he just had to find Al…and maybe Winry. He took another look around.

This really wasn't Amestris.

"Arrgh!" Ed growled, flopping onto his back again and looking at the stars. This area was truly isolated – there wasn't even the quiet chatter that you could hear at any given time elsewhere. In spite of all the planning he'd done, this was one thing that Edward hadn't thought that he'd return anywhere other than Amestris; the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. Surely, he had thought, he would return to where he'd left from.

He could, Ed reasoned, go to the shack and see if the person living there could help him out, but he seriously doubted that the person would have a phone or mailbox. He sighed, resting his head on his human arm; maybe he wasn't even in his own world. Perhaps…there were hundreds of worlds just like his own and Munich…thousands, possibly. Maybe there wasn't even a way for him to get back in the first place…

Ed threw his head back hopelessly, sighing again, and then gasped as an enormous structure came into his view. He flipped over, jaw dropping as he saw light streaming out of one of the windows, flickering like a fire's. Taking a step back mentally, he looked over the whole building, breathing hard as he finally recognized it.

It was a castle.

He pushed himself to his feet, acutely aware of the pounding in his ears. If there was a phone anywhere in this godforsaken place, it would be in the castle. However, he knew neither where he was nor who he was around; he didn't even know what time it was. The person living here might not want to help him…they might want nothing to do with him. All the same…

…he had to try, after coming so far.

A low moan from next to him snapped him back to reality; and it was then that he remembered his new vagabond friend, conveniently out of it and immobile. He scowled, coming to terms with the fact that leaving him here was something he just couldn't do right now; it would be on his conscience forever if he didn't do anything to help this man. So, resigned to his decision, Edward pulled the man's arm over his shoulders and started up towards the castle.

He stumbled not five feet from where he'd started, gritting his teeth in frustration. It wasn't that the guy was all that heavy…in fact, Ed was certain that he weighed more than the other man, even without his auto-mail. It was just…the man was so damn tall; if he were standing on his own two feet, he'd probably be a whole foot taller than him. The young man cursed his height, and then straightened up and continued his journey towards the castle's doors.

By the time he reached the front entrance, his pant legs were completely saturated with dew. After spending a moment glaring at the shiny black fabric, he came to his senses and reached for the knocker. He gripped it briefly, and then let go, absentmindedly reaching for his watch to check the time; he really didn't want to anger whoever lived here by showing up at some ungodly hour and asking for refuge.

"…Idiot…" he whispered as soon as he opened his silver state-issued pocket watch. How stupid could he get? He knew perfectly well that his watch hadn't read the right time ever since he'd gotten stuck in Munich in the first place…it didn't even work anymore, really. The only thing it could do for him was show that he was a State Alchemist of Amestris…and, if he was right, this place was a far cry from Amestris. Damn the useless thing!

…But…

Ed blinked, smacking his forehead and letting out a frustrated growl. There was dew on the grass, right? That meant that dawn wasn't even an hour away. Since the temperature was cool, but not cold, Ed could only assume that it was summer here, likely mid-June or early July. The trees nearby were full of leaves; none were on the ground. He did a little calculating; during the summer, the sun rose at about 6:30, so it had to be 5:30 to 6:00 in the morning…

Ed scoffed. It didn't matter! There was a light on in one of the rooms, right? That meant that someone was awake in the castle! Why they would be awake just before dawn did cross his mind for a moment, but the thought was pushed from his mind by a loud gurgle from his stomach.

Finally, the young man raised his hand again and knocked on the heavy wooden door four times, trying to balance the larger body next to him. A few moments passed before Ed heard footsteps approaching the door; he breathed deeply in relief, allowing himself to relax as they got closer.

It seemed to take ages for the door to crack open just enough for an unfavorable looking man with long, scraggily brown hair around his face and waxy skin to cast a wary eye over him. Ed tried not to cringe as he felt himself being scrutinized by the silent man, though it was extremely difficult to not do so. After he managed to get the hairs on the back of his neck to lie flat again, Edward opened his mouth to say something, say anything to the man. He was interrupted before he even started.

"Who are you and what do you want here?" the man snarled, snaking a yellow hand around the doorframe. For a moment, Edward seriously considered slamming the abused wood on the man's fingers. He refrained from doing so just by the realization that if he pissed this man off, he could probably kiss all chances of help or hospitality goodbye. He took a deep breather and answered.

"My name's Edward Elric; I know it's late…early…" he corrected himself, not sure why it even mattered. "…but I really need to contact my little brother, the sooner, the better…oh, and this guy needs some help, too, I think," he muttered, shifting the man's weight. The man at the door squinted, and then took a step back.

"If that's not Sirius Black, then my name's not Argus Filch…" he said, eyes widening. "So…yes, yes…come in. I'll go fetch the headmistress for you right away, Mr. Elric…come, come…"

This "Filch" character opened the door and ushered them in. Edward stepped through carefully, wincing at the sudden light. Regardless of how dim it may have been, the lighting in this hallway was still different enough to sting at his eyes. While he waited for his vision to return to normal, he heard the steps rushing off. Good, he figured; let the creepy guy leave. The way he figured it, this gave him just enough time to see if there was any damage to his auto-mail; he was pretty sure this place wouldn't have a mechanic that specialized in prosthetic limbs, after all. He carefully set the man on the ground next to him and gripped his right glove. He was just about to remove it when he heard the footsteps rushing back towards him.

"Mr. Elric…" Filch panted, coming into view and stopping to catch his breath, gripping the handrail to a staircase that Edward hadn't even had time to acknowledge the presence of. Behind him, a woman with all the appearances of a nun gone bad stood, surveying him from under a black hat. Edward shivered, put a little on edge by the calculating look she was giving him. She cast her gaze down next to Ed and, surprisingly, her eyes widened as they fell upon the black haired man next to him.

"My goodness…" she murmured breathily. "That really is Sirius Black, isn't it?"

Ed didn't have the time or luxury to be confused; the woman rushed down the stairs so quickly that he could've sworn she was flying. She reached them in a matter of seconds and, completely ignoring Edward, she knelt next to the unconscious man next to him…the man that both she and Filch had called "Black".

On the plus side, being ignored gave Edward a chance to take in his surroundings and make a few observations about the people here. The castle was old…and it was enormous as well. The stairs led up to a gigantic set of doors, and on either side of the stairwell, there were four hour glasses, each with a different colored stone in it. Ed blinked in confusion; the stones were staying in the upper parts of the hourglasses. They seemed to have a…a disdain for gravity.

Aware that if he questioned it anymore he would be classified as obsessed, Ed turned his attention to the older woman, who was currently checking the "Black" fellow's pulse. She had graying hair that was pulled back in a bun, veined hands, and wrinkles. He arched his eyebrows as he took in her outfit: black robes, a pointed black hat, and a shawl. She seemed to be in her fifties or sixties, like someone's grandmother.

Seemingly content with her examination, she reached into her sleeve for something. Ed wondered briefly if she was a nurse or doctor, but pushed the thought out of his mind as she pulled out what, for all intents and purposes, looked like a polished stick. She pointed it at Black's chest carefully, and then murmured something.

"Ennervate," she said, and waited patiently, lowering her stick. To Edward's great surprise, the man stirred, rubbing his forehead and groaning much like Ed had.

"Minerva?" He asked as he opened and closed his eyes a few times. "Hey, 's been a while…"

"Minerva" sighed in apparent relief, and then changed her expression back to the stern one she'd worn earlier. She glanced at Edward again, standing up and pushing the tip of the stick against his chest. For some reason, Ed was alarmed.

"What are you doing here? Why are you here with this man?" She demanded. Ed glared at her, preparing to slap his hands together and transmute the stick into a thousand toothpicks. "Black" stood shakily and gripped her wrist, making an attempt on lowering the stick.

"Relax; this guy actually saved me…sorta…" he added sheepishly as Ed raised an eyebrow. "See…I'll explain everything later…let's just see if we can find out more about him…"

The woman glowered at "Black" and lowered the stick. After a tense moment or two, the man released his grip on her wrist and turned to Edward, holding out his hand.

"Sorry, we weren't actually introduced, were we? My name's Sirius Black; just call me Sirius. You are?" Ed looked at the hand warily and took it, shaking it without much enthusiasm.

"Edward Elric," he replied, pulling his hand away and looking at the older woman next to Sirius. "What about you?"

"Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Although her words sounded as if they were meant to sound kind, there was ice in her voice that worried Edward; the last person to talk to him like that was Isumi, and that had been quite awhile ago. In fact…this woman was kind of like Isumi, only older and more…how to put it…well, there was something about her that just seemed to make her seem a lot like his old teacher, but at the same time, completely different. Ed looked at the stick again.

"So…what is this place? And why were you trying to threaten me with a stick?"

McGonagall looked at him questioningly. He could almost see her trying to not ask him something.

"This is Hogwarts, Mr. Elric…" she murmured. "…and this is no stick; it's my wand. You see, Mr. Elric, I am a witch."

THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

After two hours of explanations from both sides, ten hours of exploration in the castle, and a lot of confusion, Ed felt he had a pretty good grasp on the situation. Initially, he had burst out laughing when he heard her say she was a witch, but she had managed to win his attention again by turning her hat into a bat, calling it back to her with her "wand" and changing it back. That had left Edward silent and gaping until the shock wore off; at that point, he started yelling questions and comments that weren't cohesive at all.

So, as far as he'd been told, this "Hogwarts" place was a school that taught witchcraft and wizardry. It was supposed to be one of the biggest, best kept secrets ever, and no "muggle" could see it. For that reason alone, she had considered him a "wizard" and offered him a place at the school.

In addition, she had explained that there was a ministry set up entirely for keeping magic a secret from the "muggles." There was also a great deal said about some "Voldemort" guy who had plans to wipe out all muggles and such, but Edward was used to that sort of thing. After explaining the basics of the wizarding world, she became immersed in a conversation with Sirius about where he'd been. Once he explained what he knew, Ed was asked for his story.

In order to keep some semblance of ignorance, and to not alert them to the fact that he was a famous alchemist, he wove a tale of being taken by something (he didn't elaborate on what the "something" was, though) and awakening in Munich, unable to return home. He told of his hometown: a quaint, quiet town in the hills. By the end of his story, he had made himself out to be a relatively normal fifteen year old with a few quirks about his friends and family…not to mention that he'd let it slip that he was connected with a military and had to admit that his father was in it…

All in all, though, he seemed to have made a decent impression. When he finally managed to ask to use the phone, they looked at him like he was crazy. After a brief explanation of the lack of electronics in their world, they allowed him to use an owl, so long as they were allowed to read whatever he wrote.

Two short letters. That was what he was allowed to write; his first was to Alphonse.

"Dear Al,

Yo! It's me, Ed. I know, I know…I vanished…but I'm back, Al, and you won't believe where I'm at. I can't say much, but I don't think I'll be home until…okay, I shouldn't be home until Christmas, and that's only if I don't get in too much trouble. Don't worry, I'm fine. I was trapped in another world's town of Munich, and I just got back with a guy called "Sirius Black". Weird name, huh? Anyway, I'll write again later. Oh, and if you want to write back, just give the letter to this owl and tell it to take it to Edward. I don't get it either.

Your brother,

Edward."

The second letter wasn't quite as wordy, and he wrote it almost grudgingly. It had to be written to his most "trusted adult relative". Since he didn't have one, it had to go to Roy. He made it short and to the point, loathing having to write the man's first name instead of "colonel".

"Dear Roy,

Back from Munich, town beyond the gate. Will not be returning until Christmas. Will write if need be. Send reply with owl. No, I don't get it either.

Edward."

He sent the owl with Al's letter off and prepared to give the one to Mustang to the other, but McGonagall stopped him, scribbling something at the bottom of his note and signing it with an official looking signature. She also attached a form, but Ed couldn't make it out. She gave the papers to the owl and sent it off, suddenly looking at Ed again.

"For the record, you do wish to stay here, do you not?"

Ed thought for a moment. This world had magic, something that could completely disregard the law of equivalent exchange. There might be a way that he could return his own body back to normal or…or return Al to his correct age, with all the memories he'd lost…at the very least, he could probably learn some way of making things vanish…maybe even ways to bring things back.

"Yes…" he decided, nodding slowly. McGonagall nodded briskly and turned to the fireplace, throwing some strange powder into it. She stepped into it and vanished, totally freaking Edward out. She reappeared within a minute, this time holding a very old, very battered looking hat. She read his confusion and held it up.

"This is the Sorting Hat; it places you in a House. The four Houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Gryffindor is my house; it's for courageous people and people with a lot of character. Hufflepuff is the house for the more gentle, kind people with a much loyalty. Ravenclaw houses those with wit and intelligence, and Slytherin is for those who are ambitious, fierce, and have a thirst to prove themselves. This hat decides which house you're suited for and places you. Now, put it on."

Ed did as he was told, jumping as he heard it say something.

"Huh. This is strange…barriers around your memories and deepest emotions, as well as strength of will enough to withhold them. I can see a lot of qualities in you…but…" The hat went silent for an entire two minutes. Ed suddenly felt a brief sting deep in his head.

"Ow!" He exclaimed, bringing a hand up to touch his own head. As he did so, the hat called out something.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Ed ripped the hat off his head and glared at McGonagall, rubbing the side of his head, even though it no longer hurt.

"What the hell was that thing doing? It hurt…" He muttered, ignoring the shocked look on her face. "…More than that, it kept complaining about how it couldn't get to my memories…hey, it's not like I want it in those…argh, that thing's just plain weird…" He finally realized that she was staring at him in shock. "What?"

"It's just…" McGonagall began, swallowing hard. "…th..the previous headmaster here once told me that…never mind…" she said with an eerie sense of finality. Ed stifled a yawn; it didn't go unnoticed by the professor. "Okay, I'll show you your dorm. Come with me."

Ed, strangely, didn't resist.

THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Roy stepped into his office, blinking as he saw chaos unfolding. Havok was waving his jacket at an owl, Breda was trying to gather the papers that were flying from Roy's desk, Fury was pressed up against the wall, apparently trying to avoid the crazed antics of Havok, Falman was trying to calm Havok down, and Hawkeye was simply sitting there with a very agitated Hayate. Roy, deciding that she was the only sane one, started to walk towards her. Before he could get to her, though, the owl flew over and landed on his shoulder, holding out a few papers. Roy blinked, looking at Riza.

"This can't be your new way of giving me my paperwork, Lieutenant; it's going a little overboard," he finally said, raising an eyebrow. Hawkeye rolled her eyes, and it was only then that he realized that she was the only thing keeping Hayate from attacking the owl on his shoulder. He wisely shut up and sat on the nearest couch, tugging the papers from the owl. He read the first to himself silently, covering his mouth in a contemplating manner. Riza cocked her head, worried.

"Sir? What is it?" She asked, trying to read his face. He looked up and uncovered his mouth.

"Let me read this…" he murmured, turning his attention back to the letter. "'Dear Roy… Back from Munich, town beyond the gate. Will not be returning until Christmas. Will write if need be. Send reply with owl. No, I don't get it either…Edward'" He finished, glancing over to see her reaction. She looked amazed, but didn't do anything. He returned to reading the letter, eye widening as it traveled over the paper.

"Dear Mr. Mustang,

I am Minerva McGonagall of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a private school in England. Edward will be attending our school for the next year; possibly longer. This is sudden, but we are in desperate need for a Muggle Studies teacher. Muggle Studies, by the way, are classes studying non magic people such as yourself. At the moment, we would settle for anyone. It could be temporary or permanent, so please respond soon.

In addition, there is a form attached for you to sign. It is a permission form for Edward to be able to visit the nearby village of Hogsmeade. As his guardian, you may decide whether or not he will be allowed to go. Again, respond soon.

Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress."

Roy thought it over carefully, going over the facts one by one. Finally, he signed the Hogsmeade form and wrote two words on a sheet of paper nearby, handing both back to the owl. It took them and flew off.

…

"I accept"

THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Four days after he'd arrived, Edward laid back in his favorite armchair, reading the first of the required books for third year students; he'd just finished the first two years' worth. As far as he'd read, it wasn't all that difficult…just a lot of memorization; well, he was good at that. At the very least, he had that going for him. After all, alchemists had more to memorize than just arrays; they had to know the chemical makeup of nearly everything they could. This was nothing compared to all that…

"Mr. Elric! It's time for you to get your school supplies!"

Ed cringed as he heard the high pitched and excited voice of the Charms professor; Flitwick was the first teacher he'd met outside of McGonagall, but he wasn't exactly his favorite. In fact, the way he talked sometimes…it just bothered him. Regardless, Flitwick was, and remained, the only other sane man in the school at the moment: Filch was just plain creepy and that "Hagrid" guy was…Ed didn't even know how to describe him. Hagrid…seemed to have lost all semblances of realism ages ago.

"Mr. Elric?" Flitwick asked; Ed finally looked down at him, getting to his feet. The old man grinned widely at him. "Let's go! To Hogsmeade, then; your guardian arrived at the same time that your permission slip did! He'll be accompanying us; he even brought you some money!"

Ed blinked, confused; his guardian? Did he mean Pinako? But…he'd said it was a "he"…Ed shoved it to the back of his mind and grabbed his bag, tossing it over his shoulder and following the eccentric man out of the room. His jaw dropped when they reached the front gate.

"Co…Mustang!" He nearly yelled, mortified; the man may have had a hat over his eyes, but he knew him. Of all people, Mustang was his "guardian"? The man simply smirked back.

"None of that now, Ed; you know damn well that my name's Roy."

Even though it wasn't stated plainly, Ed could hear the message loud and clear: "Don't you think they'll get suspicious if you don't call me 'Roy'?" He gritted his teeth, following up with an evil grin as he realized something. Roy's smirk faded slightly, looking a little apprehensive about whatever Ed was planning.

"I'm sorry, Roy…" he said innocently, stepping forward and smiling pleasantly. "I just haven't seen you in such a long time…did you get that promotion you wanted so badly?"

Roy visibly gritted his teeth and didn't respond right away. After a few tense moments, his smirk returned; Ed briefly wished he could see his eyes. Normally, that was how he judged how the Colonel was going to insult him; the smirk alone was just scary.

"Not yet, Edward…but, enough about me…so, how was your little 'trip'?" He asked; Ed was certain he'd never heard anything crueler.

"Not…not all that great…" He muttered, looking away. Why, he didn't know. When he finally brought his eyes up to look at Roy, he found that the man was no longer smirking; to the contrary, he seemed upset.

"At least you're alive, Edward…and reasonably intact, for you," he finally said, bringing a hand up to his hat and gripping it tightly. Ed raised his brows, confused; what could Roy be talking about? He got his answer as he looked up and pulled off the cap. "Some of us weren't all that lucky, you know…"

Ed gasped as Roy's face was finally revealed to him. His eye…he only had one eye now! A strange looking patch covered nearly half of his once perfect face, and Ed felt horrible for thinking that he'd had it bad. Sure, he'd been in a different world for awhile, but to lose an eye? They couldn't be replaced like arms and legs!

"Uh…I…what happened?" the younger man asked, trying not to look too upset; Roy chuckled ruefully.

"It wasn't really…I mean…" he touched the patch gently, sighing. "It could've been worse; I'd have hated to lose an arm or a leg…or both. If I remember right, wasn't this teacher going to take us to the village to get your supplies?"

Ed blinked, suddenly remembering that Flitwick was there. He turned to stare at the little man, not sure why it bothered him so much that he had to come with them. The teacher smiled, seeming sad, and shook his head.

"That's quite all right…why don't I just go? If you two want to catch up a little, this would be an excellent opportunity…you won't get many other chances, you know. Unless you two want to see the village…?" The man said slowly, not meeting their eyes. Ed looked at Roy, who nodded briefly.

"Uh…we'll catch up, yeah…" Ed murmured, glancing to the ground as well. "Um…have a nice time…"

Flitwick smiled genuinely at him.

"You, too."

THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Ten minutes later, Roy and Ed were seated in the Grand Hall, determinedly avoiding catching each other's eye. It took quite awhile for either to say a word. Finally, Ed swallowed and took a deep breath.

"How have things been in Central?" Good, good; generic questions were perfect.

"…Eventful…" Roy answered, equally vague. He remained silent for another moment, and then looked at Ed seriously. "Edward, I know you don't want to talk about wherever you were, so I won't ask…but I have something I would like to ask you to do for me…first, though, how does housing work here?"

Ed thought for a moment.

"Well, there are four 'houses' from what I've been told…you more or less live there, and in dorms. I'm in Gryffindor, which…well, I know nothing about it, really. Why?" Roy rested his head on one palm.

"Well…frankly, I can't…that is…" He let out a frustrated sigh, obviously embarrassed. "…I can't get around on my own all that well, Fullmetal. My depth perception is gone…I can barely manage around people; I even have trouble walking. I need someone to help me around, and you're the only obvious choice…"

Ed understood what Roy had to be going through; he'd been the same way after he'd lost his arm and leg. Even with the auto-mail, he'd had to get help doing even the simplest things, like brushing his teeth. Maybe it was pity. Still helping Roy Mustang?

"Why me, and not another teacher?" Ed asked, still hesitant. Roy closed his eye.

"Well, I figured that you wouldn't want your housemates knowing about your arm and leg, so I was also trying to do you a favor; was I wrong about that?"

Ed flushed, trying to ignore the guilt crawling up from his stomach. After a moment or two, he assumed that it was safe to talk again.

"If the teachers allow it, I'll do it."

THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

Rein here! I know, I know…everyone's been trying to convince me to finish stories before starting new ones, but…come on, I just had to do this!

…What I really wonder, though, is why no other authors had Roy be the Muggle Studies teacher. It seems like a pretty obvious thing to do…he's from the muggle world, right? So, why wouldn't people have him teach Muggle Studies? Maybe I shouldn't be asking…

Oh, right…I don't own FMA or Harry Potter; chances are, I never will. What do you know?