CF101: So it's the holidays and I thought I'd put this up. Inspiration struck, what can I say? It's a VERY warped version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, very warped. But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Read on readers!

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It was Christmas Eve in Domino City, Japan, and the setting couldn't be more perfect. The entire city was covered by a blanket of milk white snow, with light drifts of it still coming down. Every building and street corner was festooned with wreaths and bells and lights, and the streets were a traffic nightmare as people tried to fit in some last minute shopping. Cries of "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" filled the air, and everyone was cheerful.

Well...not everyone.

Outside the Domino Mall stood two scowling figures. One was as pale as the snow around him, with hair you could barely distinguish from the falling snowflakes. His companion was a bronzed teen, with golden hair jutting up to the darkened sky dangerously. The two were bundled in heavy coats, scarves, and mittens, yet were still holding themselves to keep warm. They were given a wide berth by the shoppers, mostly because of the way they scowled and growled at everyone who so much as glanced at them.

Bakura growled and turned his face to the sky. "Curse this stuff. Curse it to the afterlife and back." He turned to Marik. "Remind me why we're out here again?"

Marik swiped his arm through the air, warding off a few snowflakes and growling as millions more fell on him. "Because our hikaris are in there…shopping, and we came out here to get away from those annoying mortals in the red suits."

"Then it started snowing," finished Bakura, turning his face to the sky. "Evil fluffy white stuff." Marik nodded, rubbing his arms with thick gloves.

"Amen." The two yamis were silent for a long while, each looking at the falling snow and cursing each snowflake to be devoured by Anubis.

"Heads up!" Bakura and Marik barely had time to scream as they were buried under a mound of snow kicked up by a snow plow.

"Sorry! Merry Christmas!" cried the driver, waving and continuing on his way, leaving two very angry yamis behind.

Bakura was the first to emerge from the mound of snow, shivering and tense, looking as shook up as a tabby thrown in an ice cold lake with no warning. Marik emerged seconds later, cursing snow, the driver, and the whole winter season in general and shaking himself to rid his body of the snow. He stopped when he noticed the looked on Bakura's face, which was a mixture of shock, and anger, with clenched teeth and shaking body.

"Bakura…"

The thief was silent, staring in the direction the plow had left. Then…

"SNOW MUST DIE!" Marik jumped away from his friend, tripping over himself and falling back into the snow. Sputtering, he shot up and glared at Bakura.

"And just how do you plan to kill it?" Marik, of course, was being sarcastic but Bakura looked thoughtful, frowning.

"I don't know…yet." The spirit stood there, deep in thought while Marik stood up, shaking the snow off him for the second time. Then Bakura shouted, "I HAVE IT!" causing him to jump again.

"What? Have what?" yelled Marik, flailing his arms like a windmill to keep from falling a third time. Bakura grabbed him and clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Stop talking and listen. What do you hear?" Marik looked at him scathingly and listened. He heard bells, horns, and people yelling things to each other.

"What?"

"Christmas Marik, people are screaming 'Merry Christmas' to each other. Snow only comes during Christmas time, comes with the packaging you could say. So if we can just get rid of Christmas…"

"We get rid of the snow! Brilliant!" Marik frowned. "But how do we get rid of Christmas?" Bakura sighed again.

"Marik, look at these mortals. They're buying all this stuff. Christmas is obviously about getting presents, even our hikaris know it! So all we have to do is steal all the presents in Domino City tonight, before Christmas, and we'll have stopped this holiday, and therefore the fluffy balls from the evil world of happiness and sunshine!" Marik shuddered as Ryou and Malik exited the mall, arms full of wrapped presents.

"Hey guys! Ready to go?"

"Yes," chorused the two, following Malik and Ryou to the car.

"Bakura," muttered Marik as Ryou and Malik began talking about tomorrow, "How are we going to steal all the presents in the city by tomorrow without getting caught and hit with spatulas and dictionaries by our lights?"

Bakura winked. "Trust me Marik, they don't call me the King of Thieves for nothing. I'll call you tonight with the plan." Marik gave Bakura an unsure look before following Malik into their car, leaving the albinos behind.

'I just hope you know what you're doing Bakura,' he thought as Malik drove home.

O.o.O.o.O

Bakura sat on the couch in Ryou's living room with a large black notebook and fuzzy pen, deep in thought.

'Okay…how to steal Christmas…how to steal all the presents in Domino in one night…come on Bakura, think!' The Thief King was so deep in thought, he didn't see Ryou come up behind him until he heard his voice in his ear.

"Hot choco-"

"GRAH!" Jumping three feet in the air Bakura fell off the couch in a heap, papers scattering around him. Ryou stared at him, two steaming mugs in his hand.

"-late?" Bakura glared at him.

"Ryou! Can't you see I'm plotting dastardly deeds to rid the world of the cursed 'snow'?" Ryou raised an eyebrow.

"…Maybe chocolate, or any type of sugar is a bad idea right now."

"Oh, just give it!" Bakura snatched the mug from his other half's hand, taking a long drink. "Maybe it'll help me…"

"Help you what?"

"Nothing!" Ryou frowned.

"Look, about your 'dastardly deed to get rid of snow'…it can wait until after Christmas, right?"

'But it can't wait until after Christmas!' thought Bakura frantically. "Why?"

"Because Bakura, Christmas is a time for peace on Earth, and goodwill towards men. And besides, you don't want to be on Santa's naughty list, right?"

"…Who?"

"Santa Claus." Ryou rolled his eyes. "You know, St. Nick? Man in a red suit with a beard who comes every Christmas Eve at night on his sled to deliver presents to all the good children in the world? With his reindeer? I'm sure I told you about him."

You could almost see the light bulb appear above the yami's head. Santa Claus…the fat dude who delivered the presents! Bakura fought to keep the smirk on his face as he looked up at Ryou innocently.

"Very well hikari, I shall not do anything to stop the snow tonight." Ryou smiled.

"Oh good! Now I'm going to go wrap some more presents. Bye!" Bakura waved as Ryou disappeared up the steps then punched the air triumphantly.

"Yes! It's perfect!" He smirked. "Oh, I won't try to stop snow tonight…but I never said anything about trying to stop Christmas. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Bakura! Keep it down!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

O.o.O.o.O

"So…let me get this straight," asked Marik. He was standing outside the men's dressing room in the costume shop, watching old ladies trying on stripper outfits. Marik turned his face away from the sight and spoke to his friend. "You're going to dress up as this Santa guy, and sneak into every house in the city and steal the presents after the fat guy delivers?"

"Yep! And when I-"

"We," corrected Marik.

"…We steal Christmas, we will in doing so stop the evil snow! It's genius I tell you, sheer genius!"

"Yeah, genius," muttered Marik as Bakura came out.

"Well?" Marik eyed his friend who was dressed in a red suit that was way too big on him. Because the costume was designed for a much…wider person, it hung very loosely on his arms and legs, which Bakura kept tripping over as he turned around. The hat came down over his nose.

"It was the last one left!"

"…" Marik starred for another minute before he burst out laughing. "AHAHAHA, YOU-YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!" Bakura pushed the hat up to glare at his friend before smirking evilly.

"I'd shut up if I were you."

"And-hahaha- and why's that?" Bakura smirk grew wider as he walked (or rather, stumbled) over to the blonde. Marik's stopped laughing as Bakura held up an antler headpiece and a red, blinking nose.

"I still need a reindeer."

"……O.O"

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CF101: (laughs) I'm going to enjoy writing this. The story will be a three part thing, most likely, but it could very well change. Still don't know. But anyway, hope you liked it.

For Bakura, imagine a five year old in an adults XX Large shirt, and that's what we've got.

Review!