Guilty Gear versus SNK Reprise
Written by: Lone Wolf NEO
Conceived by: Lone Wolf NEO

Disclaimer: Lone Wolf NEO does not own Guilty Gear, The King of Fighters or any of the games, anime, movies, books and the likes that are the property of other people. All original characters in this story are his creations and property. All insert characters are copyright or owned by their respective represented real-life entities. The author would appreciate it if the content of this story isn't plagiarized without his permission.

For new readers: this is the very first story that Lone Wolf NEO wrote for in case anyone is wondering of why the title sounds awfully similar. The premise takes place before the current events in Lone Wolf's Heart of Melting Blood series and Sheo Darren's the World within and Without fan fiction. Yes, our fellow readers, this is where everything started.

Or is it?

Paragraphs marked with (…) are events occurring in present, i.e. writers and characters' comments of the story.

Chapter 01
The Boy with Serious Gender Issues and the Masochist Broom-Head Man

Once upon a time, in the land known to us as China, there was a Chinese girl who liked to kick around and was fond of cooking. Her name was Kuradoberi Jam, and she was one of the best female chefs in her hometown Shanghai. She despised the way of the delicacy entrepreneurs "Kiyuumaro" and "Hanagata", insisting that the two archrivals failed to understand the essence of cookery, being nonsense in introducing their policies and showing off in the subject they were not supposed to. Thus she resolved to establish her own restaurant, which would take her to the tournament known to everybody as Guilty Gear. Succeeded in claiming the 50-million-world-dollar bounty, Jam started realizing her dream and…

("Lone Wolf-san, do you really know what you're doing now?" Hibiki interfered.

"Hibiki-chan, I know what I'm dong, so please?" he reminded.

The scion of the Takane clan gave him a look of disapproval. "Then why were you naming the female pilot of your Ace Combat fanfic after me?" she asked, even as a faint blush started tinting her face. "That's a disgrace, you know!")

x-x

At Radiance Island AFB, Edge was serving pilots of the Raider Squadron at the tea room when she suddenly sneezed. "May God bless you," Cougar interjected.

Edge glared at him. "I didn't ask for that, Cougar," she demanded.

"Why not? At least I did something polite, right Miss Hibiki?" Cougar insisted.

For the unknown time, Edge and Cougar were caught in argument that never wanted to end. Alley and Commander Mercury watched at the two pilots for a long time, looked at each other and shrugged in amusement.

"It seems your girlfriend needs to take anger management classes, Lone Wolf," Grandpa teased and elbowed his midsection.

"She's not!" Lone Wolf declined. "She's a girl, and she's a friend, but she's not my girlfriend!"

x-x

(Lone Wolf NEO laughed silly. "Disgrace or not, it's not wrong. You see, we get to have an elite pilot whose sense of possession baffles not only her colleagues but also her superiors, because it's awesome. And she's kind of cute, too."

"Awesome…?" she growled as her eyes squinted narrower. "You said it was awesome? You never considered my feeling when you started writing the story! Baaka!"

The author evaded a paper fan aimed at his head and turned away from her. "Anyway, I better continue the story," he said and scratched his cheek. "Or everyone else will…"

And for some mystifying reason, Mriya Falken materialized right behind him and gave him a huge embrace of joy. The lone wolf of author's league didn't resist the tight embrace, even while Hibiki protested at the voluptuous young woman who giggled at her reaction.

"Lone Wolf!" both of them exclaimed in a slightly different tone.)

Succeeded in claiming the 50-million-world-dollar bounty, Jam started realizing her dream and establishing her own restaurant, intended to rival those of Kiyuumaro and Hanagata. In less than a month, her restaurant became the most talked of avenue around the world, and everyday it never failed to impress its customers with the never-ending list of Oriental and Western delicacies, all personally prepared by the woman herself. And you guess it; since this story takes place in a crossover world where everything is dictated by the law of randomness and a mysterious force known as The Will and the Word, people from all kinds of fighting game universes gather at the restaurant and the nearby city to socialize and interact with each other.

Today was the busiest day Jam ever had. Her restaurant was packed with visitors she never met in the first place, along with the regular customers from the Guilty Gear universe. At a corner, she could see Johnny the leader of the Jellyfish Pirates who happened to be misunderstood as a paedophile having a jug of beer with the Zeppian soldier Potemkin.

("Mister Lone Wolf, I advice you not to label my deceased brother as a paedophile," reminded the new captain of the Mayship, John.

Lone Wolf glared at the Johnny look-alike. "Hey, this is a flashback story, so why can't I depict him in such ways?"

"Johnny may have issues with children and women, but he's not a paedophile," John insisted.

"Oh, okay. I'll remember that," Lone Wolf NEO assured.)

At a Japanese corner of the Japanese restaurant, she and her Japanese staffs could also see the Japanese trio (actually, two genuine Japanese and one American on crack who thought he was a Japanese) having a treat of Japanese wine while asking the Japanese waitress for more of Japanese treat. Hey, how can there be many Japanese words in this paragraph?

"Holy Zen! I can see shooting stars!" exclaimed the spike-haired ninja Chipp Zanuff and started throwing tanukis around the dining hall.

"I say, Baiken, the last time I flew around the world with these Stopping Fans, I was chased by group of aces who called themselves the Yellow Squadron," the drunken Mito Anji uttered as he made a circle symbol with one of the fans. "Want to know what happened after that?"

"You were shot down?" Seishino Baiken guessed.

"No, they let me fly around for a while," Anji replied and hiccupped. "But they did warn me to leave their turf after that. I didn't know why, so I left them. Miss, another bottle, please?"

Baiken shook her head in amazement. "Anji, I didn't know you can tolerate with alcohol…"

At another corner of the restaurant, not far from the entrance door was the silent and lonely assassin we know as Millia Rage. Some of the male customers lurked near the table, intending to offer her a glass of drink but was politely declined by her. Politely? Did the author say politely? Hell, she'd kill them before asking!

("Oh, my," Millia uttered in surprise. "I didn't know I get to appear in the flashback."

"At least you looked hot in that dress," Venom commented, referring to the high-cut blue-white cheongsam she was wearing. Millia blushed to hear the comment. Venom grinned to see the reaction and threw an elbow around her shoulders. "Well, baby, how about some adventure tonight? Just between the two of us, hmm?" he teased, batting his eyebrows as he did.

"Oh, honey, how naughty of you! Stop it!" she squealed and playfully pushed him aside.)

As usual, the proud owner of the restaurant was standing near the reception counter, putting both hands on her slender hips and grinning in victorious. "Hah, take that, Kiyuumaro and Hanagata! Now you're about to witness the rise of the Kuradoberi Restaurant!" she exclaimed.

"Miss Jam, here's another order!" a waitress shouted from a table numbered 99 and turned back to the customer. "So, Mr. Bridget, while we're waiting for your curry noodle to arrive, why don't we have a little bit of introduction?"

Bridget, the 12-year-old bounty hunter whose gender issue was as serious was the globalisation agenda, even graver than anything else, was smiling widely. "Why, sure, I'd like to Miss Hikki."

The owner of the name giggled and winked. "Perhaps if you could drop that 'miss' suffix…"

(Hikki blinked many times in surprise. "Hey! Why am I being described as a cross-dresser right there?" demanded the gale fighter, even as his face started to flush.

"Hikki,you idiot," Mai scolded. "Lone Wolf-san first thought of creating you as a cross-dressing character, didn't you remember?"

"But I didn't remember myself working as a waitress!" he exclaimed.

Mai batted an eyebrow, "Oh, really? And while we're at it, I demand an explanation of your true relationship with Yuu-san," she added. "Will you tell me each and every one of it? Right now?"

"Why are you suddenly asking me that question? Are you jealous or something?" he asked before the energetic Mriya pulled him into her tight, murderous embrace. "Oneesan, you're choking me! Let me go!"

"Baaka," she replied with a look of disgust in her eyes. "I have rights to know because I'm your wife."

"Waaa, Mai-chan is jealous! Hibiki, Dizzy, please save me!" Hikki shouted in distress. Hearing that Mai growled in jealousy and pinched his cheek. Really hard. "Ow! Stop it!"

Standing beside them, an equally mortified Bridget couldn't help but to weep upon his sweetheart May's shoulder. "Please don't let me see the rest of the story…" he cried.

"Hush now, Bridget," May assured, softly patting his back. "Hush now.")

Suddenly, the front door was opened, and out of nowhere dramatic background music played. Everyone inside the restaurant looked at the newcomer and was in suspense to see him coming. His body was silhouetted by bright light coming from behind him and he was standing on his feet as if he was looking for somebody.

And he did.

"I'm here for a girl named Bridget," the man announced, "does anyone of you know where I can find her?"

Silence. Neither of the customers opened their mouth, although Chipp did spoil the tension with his torrents of "HOLY ZEN!" cry. The mysterious man sighed in wonder and stepped into the restaurant, as the background music became louder. "Then I'll have to look for her, I guess," he spoke.

"Welcome to the Kuradoberi Restaurant," Jam greeted him. "How can I help you?"

The mysterious man couldn't help himself but to coo in surprise. Immediately he took her hand and stared at her with a sparkling sight. "Miss, thank you for the offer, but I'm in the middle of my business. Perhaps after I'm done with it I can talk with you," he spoke.

Jam blinked many times to hear the answer. Bridget and the waitress muffled in laughter to see the mysterious man's sparkling eyes. "Like a masochist!" the waitress commented and giggled. Everyone else almost puked in disgust to see the masochist image portrayed by the mysterious broom-headed man.

"Broom-headed?" Johnny asked. "Nobody in Guilty Gear universe has that kind of hairstyle. What do you think, Potemkin?"

"Ja, it's the weirdest fashion I've ever seen," Potemkin answered.

"Well, excuse me, sir," Jam spoke and pulled her hand away. "If you don't make an order, I'm afraid you'll have to leave this restaurant. This place is not for fashion show."

"Oh, please, at least you should let me know where I can find Miss Bridget," the mysterious man told her.

Jam suddenly smiled and nodded. "Oh, you mean Mister Bridget? He's over there, at table 99," she said and pointed to the table where Bridget was sitting. "Would you like to take a seat with him?"

The mysterious man looked over her shoulder and saw the person. "Ah, very good. Well, thank you for being helpful, Miss," he said and went to the table. "Oh, yes. Do you mind if I can take you for a date tonight?" he asked with a wink of his eyes.

"Ew, get out of my sight!" Jam replied.

The mysterious man approached the table and looked down at Bridget, who was too busy laughing with the waitress to notice his arrival. "Well, well, well, looks like I've found you finally."

Bridget looked back at him. "Hey, who is this broom-head?"

The mysterious man snapped in anger. "Don't call me with that name! I have a name, so call me with that!"

"But you didn't tell me your name, sir," the waitress insisted.

The mysterious man suddenly switched his focus to the female worker. "My, my goodness," he uttered and took a hold of her hand. "What's a lovely lady like you doing here in this waitress uniform? Perhaps if you're willing to give me your name…"

The waitress was shocked in horror at the seductive touch of his hand. She screamed, "KYAA! Let go off me, molester!" and she tossed a medium-sized projectile of wind at the man, shouting "REPPUKEN!" as she did. The man was sent across the restaurant, back to the door and crashed at the outside.

("One question, Lone Wolf," along came Rock's name as he, too, watched at the flashback story. "Are you creating Mr. Hikki based on me? I could've sworn he's using my move out there."

Lone Wolf NEO glared at the son of Geese Howard. "What are you doing here?"

"Of course to see the remake of the infamous story," Rock replied.

Beside him, Hotaru sweetly giggled and waved at Lone Wolf NEO. "Hello, Lone Wolf-san! The weather's very fine today, isn't it?" she greeted. Sheepishly the author waved back at her, and the girl beside him gave out a cry of disapproval and pulled him toward her. Hotaru laughed at the reaction and slyly grinned at Hibiki. "Aw, look at that. Being overprotective of her boyfriend. I'm so jealous," she uttered.

"Don't," demanded the iaijitsu swordswoman.

"As if I would," Hotaru replied and stuck out her tongue. "PIIDAH!")

"That was a hard-hitting Reppuken," Bridget said and looked at the waitress. "Well, Miss… Hikki, what are we going to do after this? With that broomhead, I mean?" The waitress stared at him, gave him a 'no-no' sign before she left to greet an arriving customer. "Well, looks like it's only me," he pondered and went to the outside.

"Ow, that's one painful Reppuken…" the mysterious man uttered as he stood back on his feet. "But what an awesome girl. I must ask her to come out with me tonight for a date and that I will do!" he declared.

"Excuse me, Mr. Broomhead," Bridget called him. "Mind if you can tell me who the hell you are?"

The man laughed and ran his hand through his neatly trimmed blonde hair. "Heh, I like that when a girl asks my name with that kind of look." He turned his attention to Bridget and pointed at his face. "I am Nikaido Benimaru, the strongest fighter of Japan, and I come here to challenge you into a duel."

Again, the dramatic music echoed wildly in the background. Everyone in the vicinity started talking with each another, commenting on the mysterious man's motive of challenging Bridget. He of course was appalled and demanded for explanation. "Why? It would be better if you could ask that man over there," Benimaru said and pointed to Johnny.

Bridget glared at the iaijitsu pirate. "Johnny…!" He immediately took shelter behind Potemkin's muscular figures. "Hey! I want an answer! Johnny!"

"Now, now, Miss Bridget," Benimaru called him and opened a Muay Thai stance, "shall we get started?"

Bridget looked back at the man. "Oh, please, I didn't get to eat my curry noodle first…!"

Heaven or Hell! Duel One! Let's Rock!

Without warning, Benimaru ran after Bridget and executed the handstand spin kick. The bounty hunter jumped over the low attack and counterattacked with a Starship. Benimaru immediately cancelled the kick into a back flip kick and it collided with the yo-yo shield. Both of them were thrown away from each other, but Benimaru was the first to recover. He landed on his feet and laughed when Bridget fell on his behind. "Oh, please, Miss Bridget. Don't act clumsy in front of me," he insisted and shook his head in amazement.

"Why are you calling me Miss?" Bridget screamed and tossed a Yo-Yo Haichi. It was a slow attack, and Benimaru easily evaded it. "Hah! Now I've got you! Go, Roger Rush!"

Under the vocal command, the yo-yo transformed into a teddy bear. Benimaru was horrified to see it coming and had to counteract with a Raikou-Ken. The teddy bear was unaffected and started punching its way toward the Muay Thai fighter.

"I see it!" Bridget shouted and pressed a button on another yo-yo he was holding. In a sudden, the rushing Roger exploded and caught Benimaru inside a massive cloud of smoke and fire. Bridget laughed when Benimaru frantically tried to extinguish the fire on his hair.

"ARGH! Look at what you've done!" Benimaru demanded after putting out the fire. "Now you must pay!"

"Aw, Mister Broom-head Benimaru is angry. I'm so scared," Bridget teased and danced on his feet, ignoring the annoyed and pissed off Benimaru. Then he sang a clichéd version of All The Small Things, causing Benimaru to scream and tremble in anger.

"All the broom-heads, to be brought home! I'll take one piece! You're right, it's cheap! Always one left, to keep at my home! Watch it, take it, and spend it all the day! Say it isn't so, I will not go, turn the lights off, and carry me home!"

"That's it!" Benimaru tramped toward Bridget, seized his head and clutched his fists tightly on it. "You may be a lovely lady, but your attitude has gone too far! Take this!"

"Hey, let me go, broom-head!"

"ELECTRO TRIGGER!"

A stream of lightning bolts appeared from the clear sky and struck upon both Benimaru and the strangling Bridget. All the people ran away in fear of being struck by lightning, except for the fighters who could obviously tolerated with the element, and some who were busy betting on the outcome of the duel.

"I say, Sol," Ky spoke as he, and strangely, Sol, happened to be outside the restaurant. "With all these people putting their money on the duel, God will never tolerate their sinful activity."

"God?" Sol snorted and sipped the remains of the Marlboro. "I don't want anything to do with it."

Ky glared ap him. "What's with this attitude of yours? Can't you ever think rationally, Sol?" he demanded.

"Who gives a damn about that, particularly when we're followed by a band of love-struck fans?" he replied and pointed to a group of girls who squealed and waved to Ky. "Fans… how I hate their very existence…"

Benimaru let go off Bridget, subsequently ending the duration of Electro Trigger. Electrocuted, stunned and light-headed, Bridget tried to counterattack but he collapsed on his behind. "Aw, man, why do I have to lose?" he whined.

Out of nowhere, the announcer approached Bridget and waved his arms in cross movement. "DESTROYED!" he announced and went back to the audience.

"What? I'm destroyed? That's not fair!" Bridget demanded. This was answered by an explosion, and he turned around to see the source of the deafening noise. To his surprise, Sol was busy fending off the onslaught of fan girls, tossing Tyrant Raves and firing Savage Fangs at the mob as he did. The clueless Ky was standing not far from the mayhem and couldn't help but to slap his forehead. "What on earth is going on actually?"

"I see a little silhouette of a man!
Scaramouch! Scaramouch! Will you do the Fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightning! Very, very frightening me!
Galileo! Galileo! Galileo! Galileo! Galileo Figaro!
Magnifico! Oh, oh!"

"Die, women!" Sol shouted. "NAPALM DEATH!"

"DESTROYED!" announced the announcer again.

"Okay, that sounds so random," he commented afterwards.

"So, who do you think will win the match?" Jam asked as she and the waitress stood next to the door.

"I'm putting my bet on Bridget," the waitress said and put an assuring finger over her lips. "Besides, he promised to buy me ice-cream after this."

"If I may ask, Hikki," and here Jam gave the waitress a look of amused curiosity, "would you kindly tell me why you are cosplaying as a waitress? You could've just worn waiter's uniform, you know."

The waitress giggled and ran a hand through her satin hair, neatly tied with a piece of scarlet ribbon. "Why, I find cosplaying the best pastime activity anyone can afford of," she answered with a confident look in her emerald eyes.

"Hey, Ky," Sol called him after he finished his deal with the excited mob. "Want to know my most hated thing after girls?"

"What? Being involved in shounen-ai fanfics and doujin?" the Holy Knight replied.

The Guilty Gear snapped and punched him on solar plexus. "(censored) off with those stupid bullshits!" he roared.

Both Jam and the waitress glanced at the duo and blinked many times. "What happened with them, I wonder," Jam uttered.

"I think Sol wanted to say that he hated squirrel," the waitress suggested.

The Chinese woman glanced back at her. "How did you know?"

The waitress, instead, shrugged, and threw her sight into the sky. "Time will tell, Miss Jam. Sooner or later, time will tell," she spoke.

"Now you're quoting Professor Einstein," Jam commented.

Heaven or Hell! Duel 2! Let's Rock!

("Before the duel resumes," Lone Wolf NEO spoke. "I wonder whether I'll be able(to write a story of Terry and Madlax. They've been together for quite a while, so…"

Hibiki coughed in disapproval. "I don't mind if you're talking of anyone, but why it must be her?" she insisted.

Lone Wolf NEO glanced at her. "What's wrong with you? She's an acquaintance of mine, remember? Besides, Terry is kind of lonely, and he needs a woman to accompany him," he answered.

Rock couldn't help himself but to laugh. "Oh, that Terry. He's too old to have a girlfriend! Forget it, Lone Wolf! I don't think Mary will approve of it," he answered.

Lone Wolf NEO looked back at him. "Don't tell me you want to befriend Madlax instead?"

Hotaru squealed in dismay and slapped his elbow. "Anata!" she cried.)

Resuming the duel, Bridget and Benimaru were standing in the middle of the road leading to the harbour. Around them, people were howling and crying in anticipation, while brokers seized the opportunity from the duel by organizing bets. The ensuing chaos caused polices to be summoned to control the situation.

"You make me angry, Mr. Benimaru," Bridget growled and tossed his yo-yo back and forth. "You don't like to see me when I'm angry."

"Oh, really? Then why are you quoting Hulk?" Benimaru mocked. "Please, Miss Bridget, it's not polite to copy somebody else, especially when it's copyrighted."

"TO HELL WITH THAT!" With that yelled out Bridget tossed the yo-yo and commanded it to strangle Benimaru. The Muay Thai lightning fighter was shocked and tried to free himself from the entangling strings, yet it became tighter with each movement. Bridget cried victorious and pulled the string of the yo-yo. "Go, Roger! Me and My Killing Machine!"

The yo-yo transformed into the same teddy bear named Roger; this time, it was riding a wheel of fire and was violently ravaging Benimaru all over. And out of nowhere, the cue of the song Bicycle Race was in the offing. Sol, who was at first occupied with the Napalm Death spree stopped Instant Killing the fan girls. "Hey, it's Queen!" he exclaimed and tapped to the beat of the rock song.

"Sol?" Ky called, but Sol was too busy banging his head to the loud rock music to notice him. "Sol, are you listening to me?"

"Bicycle bicycle bicycle! I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle! I want to ride my bicycle! I want to ride my bike! I want to ride my bicycle! I want to ride it where I like!" Sol sang and nodded his head.

Ky shook his head in disgrace and slapped his forehead. "Watashi de wa... fufuku na no ka?" Am I not enough?

"Shut up, Ky," Sol demanded and launched him a good half a mile away with a Volcanic Viper. The Holy Knight was sent spinning midair before crashed in front of the surprised Jam.

"Ky!" Jam cried in distress and dragged the fainted knight into the restaurant.

The combination of Bridget's Me and my Killing Machine and Roger's cartwheel of death was too much for Benimaru, and he was toasted in no time. He managed to get his sanity, though, and looked all over himself. He put his hand on his head and was mortified. "My hair! My precious hair! What happened to my hair!" he wailed.

"Congratulations, general!" suddenly Nabenshin appeared beside Benimaru. "You are now an Afro! Hit it, people!"

"Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei; numa, numa iei; numa, numa, numa iei! Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, mi-amintesc de ochii tai!"

"No! I hate that song!" Benimaru cried and closed his ears. "Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!" The people continued dancing to the song, equally ignoring the masochist broom-head Muay Thai lightning fighter who thought Bridget was a girl—

("Lone Wolf NEO!" Benimaru shouted out the author's name in sacrilege. "I shall kill you!")

"SLASH!" the announcer declared.

Bridget leaped off his feet in excitement. "Wow, that was a breeze," he spoke and showed a thumb-up.

Watching at the randomness that is fan fiction, Roan gawked in shock. "That Quatre look-alike is copying my victory quote!" he demanded.

Bridget glowered at the warrior prince of Grandia II. "I'm not Quatre!"

"But you look like Quatre!" Roan shouted back. "A lot!"

As random as usual, Quatre appeared. "Yes? Did anybody call my name?" the pilot of Sandrock Gundam asked.

"NO!" both Bridget and Roan answered and kicked him to the ocean of fan girls who were eager to catch him.

Heaven or Hell! Final! Let's Rock!

The two fighters took no chance of beginning the final duel. All they did was to stand at the square, staring at each other in uncertainty, waiting for anyone of them to make a mistake. The audience became silent and looked at the two fighters in anticipation, whilst brokers didn't stop distributing and collecting money from the spectators. Neither the workers of the Kuradoberi Restaurant spoke a word, as they too waited for the outcome of the battle.

Benimaru grinned and eased off his stance. "I understand," he spoke. "It must've been hard for a young, gorgeous and talented woman to fight a man like me." To everyone and Bridget's surprise, he opened his arms and smiled widely. "Guramarasu na reidii ni wa soredake de ore no ude ni dakareru kenri ga aru. Saa!" A glamorous lady already has the right to be embraced in my arms. Come!

"Now that broom-head is using my victorious quote against Baiken," Johnny sighed.

"Ja, that's the worst form of plagiarism ever," Potemkin nodded.

An equally pissed off Baiken was ready to pull out her Instant Kill. "That stupid, broom-headed, masochist, Muay Thai wannabe is driving me crazy…!" she growled.

Benimaru's attention was diverted. "How many times I have to tell all of you I'm not a broom-head!" he shouted at Baiken. "I have a name and that is Benimaru!"

Bridget's eyes sparkled. "Now!" In succession, he executed various hand symbols, reciting ancient language in low-sounding voice. Then he clasped both his hands and opened his stance.

"KAGEBUNSHIN NO JUTSU!"

In the blink of an eye, he was duplicating himself. Not one, not two, but hundreds of them! And the replicates were surrounding Benimaru en masse, causing the Muay Thai fighter to scream in horror.

"Again!" He performed the hand symbols for the second time before he crossed his fingers.

"HAREM NO JUTSU!"

The replicate nearest to Benimaru was engulfed in smoke. It disappeared seconds later, and a figure appeared from it. A very unmistakable figure, from the weird headdress that was covering the figure's ears. And there was not one, but many of them. In fact, there were various forms and appearance of the female humanoid computer: waitress, horse wrangler, air force pilot, police officer, miko girl, knight, teacher, lawyer, soldier, Greco-Roman wrestler, you name it. But basically they were one, and they came with a name.

"In AD2102, war was beginning," the announcer spoke followed by a cheesy-sounding explosion special effect which was heard echoing at the background.

"What happened?" Chipp asked.

"Someone set up us the bomb," Anji reported.

"We get signal," Baiken added.

"What?" Chipp exclaimed.

"Main screen turn on," Anji spoke and waved to the group.

Chipp gawked in shock. "It's you."

A mysterious apparition was standing in front of one of the figures, wearing black breathing mask and covered in dark cape. "How are you gentlemen? All your Chiis are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."

"What you say?" demanded the American ninja.

"You have no chance to survive, make your time," the mysterious apparition spoke before it disappeared. "Ha, ha, ha."

Benimaru blinked in horror. Johnny lowered his sunglasses in curiosity. Potemkin went "ja. That's the most amazing scene I've ever seen." Roan gasped in shock. Jam squealed in surprise. The waitress batted an eyebrow in amazement. Ky slapped his forehead again, this time in disgrace. Sol ignored it, focusing his attention to the tune of "Bohemian Rhapsody" he was listening to.

The Chii masses stared at Benimaru for a long time. Then, with a simultaneous cry of "CHII!" they hurled themselves at him and, trying to catch him in his arms.

Fan boys materialized and screamed in approval. Fan girls returned from their fiery demise and demanded fan boys to drop dead. Fan boys revived and ordered fan girls to shut up. Thus, begins the infamous Fan Combat saga. Sol cursed when his concentration on the song was disturbed, said "(censored) you people" and sent the fans away to the Pacific Ocean with Tyrant Rave version Omega.

"OH! MY! GOD!" Benimaru screamed and almost drowned in the ocean of Chiis. "This isn't what I wanted to happen, but to hell with that! PARADISE!" The massive glomping stopped and the Chiis moved one step backward. Benimaru was surprised, wondering of what caused them to back off.

Then one of the Chiis –happened to be the pyjamas Chii—pointed at his trouser. "Benimaru," the Chii uttered, "is full of energy. Here."

This time, he was aghast. His so-called pride as the Muay Thai champion suddenly crumbled and shattered into pieces, before wind blew them away. He fell on his knees, clutched his hands on his head and screamed from the top of his lungs. "WHY THIS HAS TO HAPPEN TO ME! WHY!"

(Motosuwa Hideki slapped his forehead in pity. "I pity that man…" he commented.)

All the Chiis disappeared in smokes, and Bridget appeared in a victorious pose. "Hah! How about that? You have experienced the true horror of Harem no Jutsu, the best counterattack ninja spell the world has ever seen!" he declared.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Naruto jumped in and imitated Bridget's pose. "And everyone can now learn it with ease!" he announced and took out a yellow book from his sleeve. "With this book, "How To Master The Art of Ninjitsu"," and here he lowered his stance a bit, whispering, "for Dummies," before standing back, "now everyone can master the feared technique of Kagebunshin no Jutsu…"

"As well as Harem no Jutsu," Bridget added.

"Together we can make this world a better place!" both of them uttered and jumped to the air. "Everybody say "WAHA!"

"WAHA!" the audience replied and jumped to the air at the same time as they did.

Watching at the shameless self-promotion was the equally mortified Sakura. "What the hell is he doing, that Naruto?" she demanded.

"…" Sasuke wasn't saying anything.

"Whatever," Kakashi shrugged and continued reading the "Come, Come, Paradise" novel.

The battle ended with Bridget emerging victorious. He celebrated the victory with the audience who had been supporting him since the duel took place. Even the restaurant workers cheered him for the success and offered him with free meal.

"WHY!"

Bridget turned his attention to the defeated Benimaru, still wailing and shaking his head in horror. He shrugged and approached the agonized Muay That warrior and squatted beside him. "Hey, mister, looks like you lost," he told him.

"No…" Benimaru whined and shook his head. "I don't want to lose to a woman… I don't want to…"

Bridget winced. This man doesn't know the truth, he thought. He looked at himself, pinched his nun outfit and sighed. "Aw, please. Not again…" To everyone's surprise, he unlocked the waist handcuff, unzipped the uniform, tossed the hat and dropped everything but his boxer short to the ground. "Mister, I think you must know the fact," he called Benimaru, "that I'm a man."

Benimaru stared at the young bounty hunter for a long time. "No way! You don't have boobs at all!"

"Yes way, a true man doesn't need boobs," Bridget replied and pointed to Johnny. "And thanks to him, as well, I have to undress in front of the people."

Benimaru was slapped in total humiliation. Never before in his life would he be defeated by… "a cross-dresser! Miss Bridget is a… MAN? NOOOOO!"

Donning his gears back, Bridget left the mortified man and approached the waitress. "All those fighting and stuffs are making me hungry," he spoke and patted his belly. "So, Hikki, where's my curry noodle?"

The waitress giggled and led him back to table 99. "Please wait a moment. I have the curry noodle kept in the oven," she said with a wink, "just for you."

Bridget smiled. "Oh, thanks. You're being generous toward me, Hikki," he uttered.

"Why, it's my responsibility to keep customers satisfied, right?" she replied. "But you must buy me ice-cream in return, okay?"

x-x

Somewhere else, at the other corner of the world, a man was plotting an equally random, if not similar scheme. Wearing a pair of eyeglasses and surrounded by four girls, he was staring at the monitor screen for a while, typing on the keyboard in quick succession. Then he backed off from the computer and headed to the window.

"Are you sure it's going to work, Sheo?" one of the girls asked.

"If he has started his quest, then I should do the same," he answered and corrected his eyeglasses, "but what we can do for now is to wait and see. The success or failure of this quest depends on his effort to keep the law of fan fiction stable."

"Oh, you know he can do it," another girl said. "Though he's not alone."

"He will be alone no more," he insisted. "He will not be. At least, without my assistance."

x-x-x-x-x

Back to the timeline that is present…

Lone Wolf NEO laughed and rolled on the floor. "That was the silliest chapter I've ever written! I swear I'll never rewrite the whole story after this!" he exclaimed.

Hibiki watched at the author in amusement. "Yare, yare…" she sighed and smiled.

Bridget was heard wailing loudly and sobbing on his girlfriend's shoulder, whose owner of that shoulder was soothing him with a soft rub on his back. "That was the worst experience I had to endure! I want my mother…!" he whined.

"I wish I was never created in the first place," Hikki sighed, not bothering his sister Mriya who kept ogling him. Watching at him was Mai, still pissed off for he did not explain his relationship with his late girlfriend Yuu.

Outside the mansion, and standing on a pillar was a silver-haired man which hand was holding an over-lengthened Japanese sword, and looking at him from the base of the pillar was a spike-headed man whose sword was broader than his body. The cue song for "J-E-N-O-V-A" began to take place, and the wind started to breeze.

"Wait a minute, that's not right," Lone Wolf NEO uttered and looked outside the window. "Hey, both of you! This is not the place for you to start fighting! Go and find somewhere else, okay?"

Sephiroth was pissed off to hear the suggestion. Way too pissed off. He lifted the katana, jumped off the pillar and hurled himself toward the author. "Oh, shi…"

"Stay away from him."

The air turned still. Sephiroth was suspended midair. Lone Wolf NEO and Cloud were baffled. Hibiki was standing between the author and the angel with one wing, sheathing her shirasaya sword into its scabbard.

"Shine." Die.

In a sudden, an air blade cut through Sephiroth's armour. The one-winged angel gasped in horror but could do nothing as he slowly dropped to the ground and fell lifeless. Hibiki stood back, looked back at the unconscious man before she turned to Lone Wolf NEO. "Daijoobu desu ka, Lone Wolf-san?" Are you alright, Lone Wolf-san?

"Thanks, Hibiki, that was so close," thanked Lone Wolf NEO.

"Excuse me," and here both of them turned to the puzzled Cloud. "Just what exactly am I going to do right now? And what about him?" he demanded and poked his sword on Sephiroth's body.

"Well, that will have to ask That Girl," Lone Wolf NEO replied.

"That Girl? Who is That Girl?" Cloud asked.

Lone Wolf NEO. "Someone you can rely and trust on. For the most of the time."

To be continued?