Thanks to conan98002, Yuri Sisteble, mattb3671, captainkodak1, JPMod, AndyCosta, campy, Zaratan, The Odd Little Turtle, Scoutcraft Piratess, Markv1.0, swiglo3000, Dixon-San, daywalkr82, qtpie235, Moss Royal, The Incredible Werekitty, Taechunsa, surfost, Jokerisdaking, Deyinel, Ezbok58a, JMAN2.0, TexasDad, momike, kpandron, Lonestarr, lordshego, WesUAH, Ace Ian Combat, and Spectre666 for reviewing.
Please raise a glass to campy for his beta and proofreading work.
You saw it on KP, it belongs to Disney (though I am hoping to find the rights to the show in my stocking on Christmas morning …). Clarence and It's a Wonderful Life belong to Republic Pictures.
I.
Ron plunged into the rushing river and sank below before struggling back up, fighting to hold his breath so as not to swallow the water and drown. After what seemed an eternity to him, he broke the surface, seeing Clarence ahead of him, flailing his arms and calling for help.
Swell. Been here, done this, Ron thought as he made his way to the apprentice angel and pulled him to shore. He slapped him on the back.
"You okay, dude?"
Clarence looked at Ron and smiled. "Never been better!"
Ron shook his head, then heard the sound of approaching feet. "Snap," he swore. He was going to be captured after all.
"Stoppable, you okay?"
Ron looked up. It was Steve Barkin. But he was now wearing a winter jacket and trousers, both in the familiar military browns the assistant principal favored. Next to him was a grinning Brick Flagg, who was wearing a college letter jacket.
"Mr. Barkin?" Ron asked, confused.
"Yes, Stoppable. It's me. You okay?"
"Yeah, I think so … What are you doing here?"
"I was visiting Flagg at Upperton U. and was bringing him home for Christmas. We were running late, and coming across the bridge when we saw you go over the rail …"
Officer Hobble ran up to the four men. "By gosh! It's Kim Possible's sidekick! You saved this man's life. You're a hero!" he enthused in his friendly Irish brogue.
"I'm a hero?" Ron asked incredulously.
Brick, still grinning, said, "Stoppable shoots and scores! Way to go, man."
Clarence patted him on the back. "You always have been a hero, Ron. You've made an incredible difference in people's lives."
"Wait a minute. If Mr. B and Brick ... I'm alive. I'm alive! This is so BADICAL! I'M ALIVE!" Ron exclaimed as he jumped up to his feet. "Woo hoo! I'm ALIVE!" he exulted as he tore up the embankment and into town.
II.
Ron was still yelling with joy as he ran by the Space Center and its invitation to Rocket Boosters Day, past the 'Welcome to Middleton' sign, and past Bueno Nacho, whose assistant manager frantically flapped his arms at Ron.
"Wooo hoooo! Merry Christmas everyone! Happy Hannukah, too!" Ron yelled as he waved to people walking the streets. He was all caught up in his happiness when he plowed right into Bonnie.
She turned and looked at him. "Watch where you're going, loser!"
Ron stared at her. It was Bonnie, and she was thin again! "What did you say?" he asked giddily.
"I said, watch it, loser!" she snapped.
This was the way life was supposed to be. He threw his arms around Bonnie, startling her. "That sounds sooo good, sooo right! Thanks, Bonnie. I can feel the love!"
Bonnie squinted at Ron, wondering if she was being played. Finally she sighed. "You are so weird. Both you and Kim. You're, like, Weirdos International." Bonnie huffed and walked away. Ron didn't care. He was alive. Bonnie was Bonnie, which meant …
He ran to his house. The lights were off, but the electric menorah was on in the window and stenciled on the mailbox was the name "Stoppable." That meant his parents were together – and at the Possibles, since the two families were getting together for Christmas Eve. He picked up his pace and ran the couple of blocks to Kim's house. As he approached, he thought of Yamanuchi and felt a surge of the mystical monkey power. Then, he approached the Possible home. It looked the way it was supposed to on Christmas Eve: a blaze of multi-colored lights and illuminated decorations visible from low Earth orbit, a place brimming with love and quirky happiness. He ran up the walk to the kitchen door of his second home, filled with joy and excitement.
III.
He stepped into the kitchen and threw open his arms. "Hola, everyone! Merry Christmas and a Happy Hannukah!"
Ann Possible smiled at her daughter's boyfriend. "Merry Christmas to you, too, Ron!" she replied.
"Ronald," James said with an endearing grin as he slapped the young man on the back.
"Have a lemon square," Nana insisted as she held out a plate of her delectable treats.
"Hello, Son," Mr. Stoppable said, pleased to see his boy in such high spirits.
"Ronnie, were you out without a hat again?" his mother asked. "And why are your clothes wet?"
Ron looked down at his damp clothing and smiled. He'd been in the river and lived! "Long story, Mom. But it's cool."
"Ron, why don't you go up to Kim's room and put on the spare set of mission clothes you keep here?" Mrs. Dr. P. suggested with a smile. "I'm sure Kim wouldn't want you to catch cold tonight …"
"Will do, Mrs. Dr. P," Ron answered brightly.
"… Good. Because I think Kim's been hanging mistletoe all over the house. And I think she's putting some upstairs right now!"
"You ought to know, Ronald," James warned, desperately trying to not break into a grin, "I've always wanted to send a deep space probe to the Star of Bethlehem."
The playful threat was yet another reminder that things were as they were supposed to be. He left the kitchen and was about to go up the stairs when a small plane flew by; he noticed that it was being piloted by Rufus, who was wearing goggles and a tiny silk scarf. The naked mole rat flashed him a paw's up before executing a barrel roll. Jim and Tim were in hot pursuit.
"Hey, Ron …" Jim said.
"… Don't worry 'bout Rufus," Tim continued.
"Yeah, he's an awesome pilot …" Jim noted.
"… And he's got a parachute, just in case!" Tim concluded.
Everyone was as they were supposed to be. He climbed the stairs into Kim's loft, suspecting she'd be upstairs based on the Drs. P's comments.
"Ron?" she asked, happy but surprised to see her wet boyfriend emerge through the hatch. "What …" she was cut off as Ron bounded up into and ran across the room, pulled her into an embrace and gave her a full-force, lip-smacking, tongue-dancing, tonsil-hockey-playing, better-than-a-moodulator kiss. He tightened his arms around her waist; she wrapped her good arm around his neck, happily responding to his attentions.
When finally they came up for air, Kim looked into Ron's eyes and whispered, "Wow. That was spankin'!"
Ron just stood there, looking into Kim's eyes. They were vivacious, alive, full of confidence and love. "KP, you mean so much to me. I am never gonna leave you."
Kim looked at her boyfriend, an affectionate smile on her face. "Is that a promise?" she asked, running her finger along the edge of his left ear.
"Yeah, it is."
"Willing to seal it with a kiss?"
Ron offered her his trademark goofy grin, before he proceeded to take Kim's breath away for a second time that evening.
"I think I'm going to need regular assurances about that promise," Kim purred. Then, stepping back to look at him, she said, "So, you never told me. What gives with the wet clothes?"
"Well, you know how bummed I was about the money I owe rocket man …"
"We, Ron, we," Kim corrected. "We were on that mission together, remember? I meant it when I said we're a team."
Ron looked at his BFGF and recalled all the scrapes they'd been in together over the years. Just as he'd had her back, she'd had his. And he knew she wouldn't have it any other way. "Yeah, you're right KP. Okay, the money we owe rocket man. You know how bummed I was …"
Ron and Kim were interrupted by James, who seemed relieved not to find the two teens in a compromising position. "Excuse me you two, but you've got some visitors."
The two heroes looked at one another, wondering who would be coming to see them. They followed Mr. Dr. P down the stairs to find Felix and Monique waiting for them.
"Hey, girlfriend," Monique said, throwing her arms around Kim, eliciting a smile from Ron.
"Yo, Ronman," Felix said with a grin of his own. Ron continued to smile as he noticed Felix was sitting in his cybertronic chair.
"It's great to see you two, but what are you doing here on Christmas Eve?" Kim asked.
"Well, we've been talking with people at school and we thought that rocket dude who was trying to sue you was just OOC."
"We decided that after all you two have done to help everyone else, it was time for us to help you. So we took up a little collection." Felix then handed Ron an envelope filled with cash. "There's $2,353. It's not a lot, but it's a start."
"Man," Ron said. "This is incredible. I don't know what to say …"
The doorbell rang; Kim opened the door to see Bonnie Rockwaller carrying a bag.
"Bonnie?"
"Kim," the brunette said dismissively, brushing past her and into the foyer.
Kim looked at her fellow cheerleader, wondering why she had come over. Her curiosity only mounted when Bonnie thrust the bag into Ron's hand.
"This doesn't accessorize with anything I have. It is soooo last season. I thought I'd let you deal with it."
Ron opened the bag and his jaw dropped.
"What is it, Ron?" Kim asked. She gasped when Ron pulled out the ruby belt buckle he'd bought Bonnie back in the day when he was a naco millionaire.
"I assume you'll sell it. Just don't be a loser, Stoppable, and spend it all at Bueno Nacho or on rare cuddle buddies for K," Bonnie sneered, then flinched as Kim wrapped her good arm around her.
"Thanks, Bonnie," Kim whispered. "You rock."
"You're welcome," Bonnie replied. "But this doesn't mean we're friends or anything. You're still both losers."
The bell rang again.
It was Tara, Hope, and Marcella, accompanied by their parents.
"Hello, Kim!" Tara's mother, an older version of her sweet, innocent, blonde daughter, gushed.
"Hello, Mrs. King," Kim said, wondering why the cheer squad, with parents in tow, was on her doorstep.
"Oh, and here's our favorite Mad Dog!" Tara's mother added, as she hugged Ron. "We have something for you!"
"Yes," Marcella's mother said, as she handed Ron an envelope. "We never properly thanked you for saving our daughters not once, but twice, from that swamp creature. You know, Marcella has such delicate skin; she breaks out so easily. I don't think gills would have helped her complexion at all …"
"Mom!" Marcella cried out in embarrassment.
As Kim and Ron watched their cheer squad-mate suffer from severe parental uncoolness, Nakasumi-san and his translator, Miss Kyoko, came up the walk. "Please, come in …" Kim said, surprised to see the toymaker and his assistant.
"Ms. Possible, Mr. Stoppable," the young Asian woman said, as her boss whispered into her ear. "Nakasumi-san remains highly impressed with Stoppable-san's child-like wonder and enthusiasm. He wishes to offer him a position as a consultant at a salary of $100,000 per year."
Ron's jaw dropped once again. "A hu, hu, hu …"
"Ron accepts!" Kim said to Yoshiko, "He'll take it!" Then, turning to her boyfriend and freak-fighting partner, she added, "Trust me, Ron, his time I really do know what's best for you …"
Yoshiko whispered into Nakasumi's ear, he nodded, then whispered his reply to his assistant who relayed the older man's response to Kim and Ron. "Excellent. I will have the Game Kid 5000 delivered to your home tomorrow."
Ron was still reeling when the bell rang yet again. Monique, Bonnie, and the cheerleaders all screamed as the once-again-hot O Boyz sauntered into the house.
"Hey," Dexter said. "We heard about that creep in Arizona who's suing you."
"Bummer," Robby added.
"Anyway, we still owe you for saving us that time … and for being our number one Fan Boy," Nicky Nick said as he handed a large envelope to Ron. "That's the advance for our new CD, Unstoppable Love. It was inspired by you and Kim. We thought it was kind of cool the way you were with her when she took out the blue dude even though she was dating that robot guy at the time …"
Kim winced at the memory of Erik and how she could have been with Ron so much earlier had she not been all caught up in the Food Chain; Ron, sensing Kim's regret, responded by wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close.
Monique cooed, the cheerleaders sighed, Bonnie rolled her eyes, James seethed about show people being in his house and Kim smiled happily as she snuggled against her boyfriend. Ron's eyes opened wide in shock after he opened the envelope and saw what was inside; after staring at its contents for a moment, he passed the enclosed check for $500,000 to Kim, whose reaction mirrored her boyfriend's.
Kim and Ron were trying to take in everything when Timothy North walked through the still-open door. The old actor looked at Ron and Kim. "FF2, Ferret Girl," he said.
"Mr. North?" Kim asked.
"I just wanted to stop by to let you know that Farnsworth and I are going to sell memorabilia on the internet and hold some autograph sessions to raise some money to help you pay off that dastardly fiend in Arizona."
"Th, thanks," Ron stammered.
Ned, looking perturbed, followed Mr. North into the house.
"Hey, Ron, didn't you see me waving at you?" he asked in his unmistakably nasal twang. "I wanted to give you this. It's from Corporate."
Ron took the proffered envelope, in which he found a memo explaining that the enclosed check for $745,672.34 represented deferred interest on Ron's naco royalties. He looked at Ned, then Kim. "This is … what on earth is that?" he exclaimed as a robot walked in.
"Hi, guys!" the machine said, in a voice identical to that of Wade Load.
"Wade? You've been turned into a cyborg! Noooo!" a suddenly distraught Ron cried out, fearing that not all had returned to the way it was before he met Clarence.
"Chill out, Ron," the real Wade said, as he followed his creation into the house. "I'm not a cyborg. This is the Ronbot. It's designed to do household chores and things; it can even dispose of unwanted garden gnomes. I think we can turn a good profit from it to help pay off Rocket Jerk."
"But …"
"Hey, it's the least I could do for you and Kim. You two are my best friends, after all!"
"Oh, man, this is just badical. You're …"
Ron didn't finish his sentence, however, for at that moment, a black-clad ninja silently glided in. Everybody turned to look at the mysterious figure as it reached up to remove its hood.
"Yori!" Ron exclaimed, delighted to have confirmation that his Yamanuchi friend was indeed not a monkey ninja.
"Stoppable-san," she replied cheerily
Kim pulled Ron a bit closer to her. "Yori," she said coolly.
"Possible-san," the young Japanese woman replied with a bit less enthusiasm than she'd shown Ron. She then continued. "Stoppable-san, you have been a true warrior hero, responding not once, but twice, to the call for assistance from the Yamanuchi School. We are proud to call you one of our own and would be honored if you would let us assist you in your time of need. Sensei asked me to give this to you." Yori presented Ron a blank check. "You may draw on the School's accounts for up to $5 million."
Ron just stared at Yori, unable to believe what was happening.
Kim squeezed Ron's hand. Beaming as she looked into his eyes, she said, "See, Ron. I so told you it would work out. All that Ronshine you've been spreading seems to be coming back to you!"
"Yeah, I guess, so," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You know, KP, I must be the luckiest guy in the world."
The two teens stood there, surrounded by their family and friends, taking in the scene. Then, as their eyes fell on the tree, they saw the angel Ron had made for Kim all those years ago.
"You remember when you gave it to me?"
"Yeah," Ron said.
"It really is the bestest angel, from my bestest friend," she said warmly, snuggling him.
"Ya think?" he asked, knowing that while he and Kim were indeed the bestest of friends, he knew of a real angel who deserved to be called 'Bestest.'
"Think? I know," she replied. "You know, you never told me if it had a name."
"Clarence," Ron said, looking at the tree, then up to the ceiling. Then, much to their surprise, they heard the silver bell Ron had given her a few weeks ago tinkle.
"Didn't our pre-k teacher say that every time a bell rang it meant an angel got his wings?" Kim asked.
"Yeah. And she was a pretty smart lady, KP. She did convince me to stop eating chalk."
Kim chuckled as she recalled an image of a very young Ron insisting that chalk was just another form of candy. She looked at Ron, then kissed him. "Merry Christmas, Ron."
"Merry Christmas to you, too, KP," he said, pulling her back into a tight hug. "Ya know, I've got a pretty badical life." As Ron held Kim, he looked at the angel again, winked, and whispered, "Thanks, dude."
IV.
Somewhere in heaven, Clarence began to test his new wings. He flapped them, gingerly at first, then with more gusto.
"So, what do you have to say now that you're an angel, first class?" Peter asked.
"Oh, well, I'm not sure. It's all so new, so exciting." Then Clarence grinned. "Wait! I know exactly what to say," he added, thrusting his fists into the air, and letting out a very, very hearty "Boo-yah!"
THE END.
Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, some other holiday, or no holiday at all, may this be a season of peace and blessings to you and yours -- MrDrP