Imaginary

The Fallen version has the intro verse moved to the end.

oh.. paper flowers
oh.. paper flowers

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby flowers
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me flowers

Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby flowers
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me flowers

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The Goddess of imaginary light

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby flowers
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me flowers

oh.. paper flowers
oh.. paper flowers

I always hated people who were as bright as sunshine during the mornings, those sane people who always woke up and would just have a good day to their choice. I especially hated them since I had not had a good day in two years.

I know that I probably sound like a cranky old woman, but truth be told, I am twenty-seven years of age. Yep, twenty-seven years old and already unhappily married. My husband, James Potter, is the reason to my bad days. Just his presence is enough to stir me up and cause my blood pressure to rise.

That is only if he could get any reaction or emotion from me at all. Most of the time I was like him, emotionally numb. I figure that is the only way we are able to still live together without too many attempted murders.

I walked into the conference room in the Ministry of Magic. An emergency auror meeting had come up for this morning. I already spotted Alastor Moody in the front of the room, his magical eye spinning around the room in clear inspection for any dark wizards.

I seated myself in the middle section, keeping myself a fair distance from Moody. A few moments later, Remus entered the room and sat a few seats away from me. He turned and smiled at me kindly, the way he used to when we were friends at Hogwarts.

" How are you Lily?" he asked quietly. I shrugged my shoulders and stared at him, numb.

" The same as always. You?"

He nodded his head.

" Same. Didn't you and James come together?" he asked me curiously.

I shook my head, his question not really bothering me.

" No. I don't know where he is. He didn't come home last night."

I watched as his eyes filled with sympathy for me. Sympathy disgusted me more than my husband cheating on me. Honestly, I did not care too much of the second.

" Remus, I've been going through this for two years. I really don't care." My voice was cold; colder than I wanted it to be with Remus.

As we talked, most of the others filed into the room, chatting with friends and co-workers. James and Sirius, of course, were the last to show, after the meeting had begun.

They leaned against the wall until the meeting was wrapped up. Lily stay seated as the other aurors began chatting with one another excitedly. I was never really apart of their friendship circles. Even in school I never really hung out with a particular clique or group of people until I started dating James. And now it was awkward to hang out with them. Even as I sat alone and quiet I could feel Sirius's penetrating stare burning into the side of my head. His blue eyes held a certain coldness in them that was unmistakable. He blamed me for James' and my ruined marriage. I knew why. He was his best friend and would always take his side, even in the wrong. But I blamed nobody for our crumbled relationship. After all, some things were never meant to be.

I grabbed my purse and rose to my feet, ready to exit. Just as I placed my hand on the door, Alice Longbottom, one of my only female friends, grabs hold of my arm.

" Lily, are you leaving already?" I clenched my jaw into a smile and nodded, no words leaving my mouth.

" I was hoping you'd go out to brunch with the rest of us. It would be really great if you would. Please don't say no." I was about to flatly refuse when I noticed that hopeful look burning in her blue eyes. I then realized I hadn't really spent any time with her since Hogwarts. It had been great when we were both newly weds. We had so much to talk of. But now things were different. I hardly even wanted to think of my husband, much less talk about hers.

I sighed softly and nodded, unclamping my hand from the brass doorknob.

Just then my eyes caught James' and I knew he could read me like a book from the evident smirk on his face.

000

Somehow our brunch lasted far into the late afternoon. Obnoxious laughter filled the room along with cigarette smoke and the smell of spilt whiskey. My head was beginning to throb from the noise and smoke, making me tired and irritable. The glass of butterbeer sat in front of me untouched, the glass sweating profusely.

Gloria and Amos Diggory, who were engaged and soon to be wed, sat discussing their vows with the rest of the table, and receiving a lot of laughter and input from other couples.

" Oh, I can remember every word of our vows. It's so funny, but I was afraid right before the wedding that I would forget them in front of everyone, so I ended up reciting them over and over again and it has stuck with me ever since." Alice giggled loudly as she spoke. She then turned to me with that same cheerful expression, pulling everyone's attention to me also.

" What about you Lily? Do you have any romantic moments or stories dealing with your wedding or vows?"

I could feel the headache spreading to my temples and behind my eyes. My voice was cold as I answered her.

" I don't remember our vows, not like they matter anymore."

All of the girls began to look slightly depressed. Alice sighed and pressed on.

" C'mon. There must be something."

I shrugged my shoulders, unable to think of anything. And then James spoke up, his voice deep. Honestly, it sent shocks through me to hear him speak up.

" There is something. It was when we were still training to be aurors. I had gone into the men's locker rooms to quickly get my stuff from my locker. And when I opened up my locker, there was a white garter hanging from the hook with a note attached. On the note it had all of her vows written across it, saying she wanted me to know them before the wedding."

His eyes met mine and the strange feeling of sudden memory enveloped us both. I drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly, running my fingers through my red hair.

" Wow, I had forgotten about that. It's amazing how things change." I spoke softly and soon left the table. Just before I left I saw him nod his head.

" Yes, quite amazing."