Five years. Five long and wonderful years, faded in the blink of an eye. All that remained was one burning question. One thing she needed to know but couldn't force herself to say it. He was with someone else now and she was alone. No, not alone, but she might as well had been. Viktor was hundreds of miles away and so busy he rarely wrote anymore. When he had, it was to explain some media scandal saying he was with another woman. She had given up reading the papers just to save herself from tears. She was miserable, completely and utterly miserable. Her eyes darted to the picture book she made of their relationship. A few random pictures of them just hanging out and a few stolen kisses forever caught by the flash of a camera. Her eyes began to water, but she forced herself to stop. She wouldn't do this, she had to remain calm.

No one else knew, that was the hard part. Their breakup was on her behalf, he begged her for months to come back and she ignored him. Now that he had another, how would it look for her to pick up a quill and ask him the question that was forever etched upon her heart? They would consider her a jealous home wreaker. They wouldn't understand. She loved him so terribly and had to bite her tongue so often it was almost severed. Closing the book, Hermione brushed away the few tears that escaped her control.

She had seen him the other day. He repeatedly mentioned his new girlfriend, a girl Hermione had never heard of before. He had apparently met her at work. She smiled and nodded, masking her true emotions as she felt her heart shatter. Finally, they bid each other farewell and she went home to cry.

Now she lay in bed wide awake. She hadn't slept for days, her mind racing and all her emotions presently aching. She shakily stood up and smoked a fag. It was the only thing that could rid her thoughts of such things. Watching the smoke rise and curl, she contemplated telling him again…letting him know the truth. She pondered on what he might say to her. Deciding nothing good could come out of it, she put out her half finished cigarette and cried again. It seemed she did that a lot in private lately.

When morning came again, she heard a tap on the window. It was Hedwig, and she quickly thrust the window open to let the white owl inside her apartment. Undoing the binding of the ribbon, she carefully unrolled the scroll as Hedwig hopped over to a small water and food dish Hermione always kept just in case. She let out a nervous sigh before writing her reply and sending Hedwig on her way again. He wanted to see her, "catch up." She had accepted and she would meet him tomorrow.

Maybe she would ask her question then.

Harry stood outside the muggle restaurant knowing it was her favorite. He fidgeted, always hating to wait by himself. Hearing his name, he looked up to see Hermione walking towards him. He let out a small grin and nodded his head to her, walking up to close the distance. It was an awkward hug. The kind you would give a friend you hadn't seen in years. Brief, an obvious amount of space in between, and the quick step to start a conversation.

"Shall we then?" he asked politely. She nodded and they walked inside, immediately being seated to a table.

They placed their orders and began to wait. The silence being almost deafening, Hermione decided to talk first. "So Harry, what have you been up to lately?"

"Oh you know, same old same old. Fighting dark wizards and all that junk. And you?"

"Very good. Hogwarts has been a dream."

Harry nodded, "I still can't believe he's gone."

Hermione sighed, "I know…but we'll get on Harry. We always have." Since Dumbledore's death and succession, a need for a new transfiguration teacher was needed. Hermione quickly rose to the challenge year after graduating from her training. Their food arrived and they ate quickly in silence. Something they had got used to. Their awkward silence was now comforting, neither unpleasant nor home, but somewhere in between.

After finishing and paying, they walked out together, making sure no physical touch was mistaken. Another awkward hug and silent goodbye, he turned to leave. Before he could, she threw caution to the wind. He turned slowly and she began. "Harry, I have to ask you something. Something very important."

He nodded for her to go on and she took his lead. "Are you…happy now?"

Harry looked taken back. "What do you mean?"

"When we were together, compared to now…are you happy now?"

He studied his thoughts before looking up at her. His voice was tense and sure, "Yes, I am." She nodded and mumbled 'good' or something like that before turning to leave.

"Why?" His words stopped her in her tracks. She turned once again.

"I just had to know." He nodded and left. She stood there for what seemed ages. She went home with a crack.

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Dear Diary,

I heard what I needed to. Harry doesn't need me. He's probably confused why I asked that question, but that's all right. You see, when we were together I asked why he loved me. He said it was because I was the only girl he could get. The only girl who would love him. That hurt more than anything I've ever felt before. So, I made up an excuse and left him. Harsh, I know, but he always had that thing for Cho and Ginny I could never top. I had to let him go. I had to see if it was me he loved or if it was that he just didn't want to be alone. And today I found my answer. He's better off without me anyway. He always said he loved me…he said he'd love me forever. The part that hurts the most is I was the one who meant it. I love him. I always will.

But I was nothing but the only girl he could get.

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In case you haven't noticed, this is based a lot on recent personal experience…and how I think it would all go