Disclaimer: Homestar Runner and all related titles and characters belong to the Brothers Chaps, not myself. The same goes for "Know your Stars" which belongs to Nick. Oh, and I don't own Geico or Ditech either.

"Uh, Hello?" Homestar called as he looked about his surroundings. "Anybody hewe?" He ventured a little further onto the empty stage, looking all around him and seeing nothing except for an empty chair.

"Hey, cool! Is this a new mainpage?" he asked, no one answered. "No, okay…uh, well I guess I'll just sit down." He walked a few steps and seated himself in the chair. The main lights dimmed while some other lights began flashing.

"Know your Stars, Know your Stars, Know your Stars, Know your Stars, Know your Staaars…"came a voice suddenly echoing trough the air.

"Homestar Runner…"

"Yeah?" said the confused Homestar.

"He's made of tofu." Continued the strange voice.

"Uuuh … What?" asked Homestar, very confused. "Who said that? Stwongbad, is that you?"

"Homestar Runner…"

"What?"

"Does his grocery shopping at the local dumpster behind Stucci's."

"Stwongbad, what awe you talking about? I don't eat at the dumps!"

"Suuure you don't." the voice taunted in a mocking tone. "And that's certainly not where you got that dinky propeller cap, or that pretty skirt you got on."

"Uh, what awe you talking about? I don't see no skiwt."

"Well, it sure isn't a kilt."

"What's that?"

"Homestar Runner…" The voice continued. "Is not wearing pants."

"WHAT?" yelled Homestar, jumping out of the chair. "I do to weaw pants!" He stomped his foot. "I has tight pants, I waews long pants!" He began stamping his feet, prancing and jumping about wildly. "Tall pants, small pants! Tight pant, white pants! Cweepy, sneaky, slinky, dinky, luscious, scwumptius, glowious PANTS!"

At the last word of his little rant, he jumped about three feet into the air and fell straight onto his back.

There was a brief pause, and then…

"Homestar Runner… Just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to Gieco."

Homestar sat up.

"Oh gwoss!" He said looking across the floor "Thewe's geckos awound?"

"Now you know Homestar Runner." The voice ended.

"Allwight." Homestar said, getting to his feet. "Now I know Homestaw Wunnew."

He started walking away, and fell off the stage.

"Woo, that was fun." He said from the floor.