Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter. If I did, I would be basking in the sun in Hawaii.

S – When is this class over?

J – When is it usually over?

S – I don't know. When the bell rings?

J – Very good Padfoot. Remind me to give you a treat.

S – When does the bell ring?

J – I don't know.

S – You're no help.

J – Yeah, well you're annoying.

S – Moony, when does the bell ring?

R – Not any time soon.

J – You know Padfoot, it's not like we don't have this class three times a week.

S – So…?

J – So you should at least have SOME idea of how long this class lasts.

S – I don't know…ever since Binns died he seems to be more boring, if that's possible.

R – You'd think a ghost teacher would make it more interesting.

J – Yeah, well, you see one ghost you've seen them all.

S – Except the Bloody Baron. That one sends shivers up my spine.

R – He's not a pleasant fellow.

J – At least he can control Peeves.

R – That's true.

S – This is torture! I want out!

J – I understand you have an unbelievably short attention span Padfoot, but whining about it won't make time go any faster.

R – It actually seems to make it pass more slowly.

J – Yeah, it reminds us that we are still in fact stuck in this boring, pointless class.

S – Fine, I'll complain about something else.

J – Aren't we lucky.

S – What do you think Ravenclaw's chances of winning are at tomorrows match?

J – That's not a complaint stupid.

S – I don't care. What do you think?

J – Well, considering the match is against Hufflepuff, pretty good.

R – Don't they need to win by 250 points or less to keep us in the lead?

J – Yeah. If they win by 260 points or more, then we're in 2nd place. 

S – But if Hufflepuff does win tomorrow, we have nothing to worry about.

R – You know, I think Hufflepuff has actually gotten better since Amos Diggory left.

J – I think the whole school has gotten better since that git left.

S – You just didn't like him because Lily had a huge crush on him.

J – Well yeah…He would also go on and on about how much better he was than everyone else. I mean, before every match we had against them, he would come up to me and say, "So Potter, no hard feelings about the outcome of the match today. Remember you still have a few more years to improve your Seeking skills. Don't feel too bad if you don't get to the Snitch in time. I myself had to train up quite a bit to become the Seeker I am today." And what would always happen? WE WON! HA!

S – Does your arm hurt now?

J – Yeah a little.

S – Just wondering. I think you put Moony to sleep.

R – No, just resting my eyes.

S – When's the next full moon?

R – I'm going to pretend you didn't just ask that.

S – What? I'm genuinely curious.

J – Full moon was just last week you dumb mutt. Don't you remember finding that new passageway into Hogsmeade?

S – Oh yeah. Sometimes this class causes temporary insanity.

J – That's true, but I'm not sure yours is temporary.

S – Ha ha ha. I'm James and I'm stupid.

J – I'm Sirius and I'm a smelly fleabag.

R – I'm Remus and I'm mature.

S – Bad Remmy! What have I told you about using the "M" word?

R – I'm so sorry. Excuse me while I go wash out my vulgar mouth.

S – We'll forgive you…THIS time.

R – That's a relief. I was scared I would have to get on my knees and beg.

J – You can still do that if you want to.

S – Yeah, make this class a little more interesting.

P – Hey guys? Did any of you happen to hear what Binns was saying about the Goblin Rebellions?

S – Of course not.

J – You're the only one who actually pays attention in this class.

P – But I was taking notes and didn't hear.

S – Why bother taking notes? It's all in the textbook.

R – I think that all we need to know about the Goblin Rebellions will probably be the dates and the main causes and effects.

P – Thanks.

J – Moony, you should be a teacher.

R – No…I don't think so.

S – Professor Lupin. What would you teach? Potions?

R – NO!

J – You'd be a really good Care of Magical Creatures teacher.

R – Yes, I can see it now. This is the proper way to care for a werewolf. Make sure to feed it three times a day and pet it every 2 hours and tell it what a good little monster it is.

S – Then run for your life and pray you don't get bitten.

R – That sounds about right.

J – How weird would it be though to work alongside teachers like McGonagall and Flitwick? They'd probably go on about how much trouble we used to make at school…always got told off for passing notes…

R – Yeah, that would be really strange. Being treated as an equal by a teacher.

J – We treated Samson like an equal.

R – That was different. We treated him like a student. He didn't treat us like teachers.

J – All things considered, the guy was only 10 years older than us.

R – And all he ever did was tell us stories. He never taught us anything.

J – I miss him.

S – So how much time has passed?

J – Since when?

S – I don't know. Since we began this note.

J – You mean since YOU began this note.

S – I don't care who started it! How much time has passed?

R – About 15 minutes.

S – WHAT? You can't be serious!

J – Of course he can't. You're Sirius.

S – You know how much I hate that pun Jamsie.

J – As much as I hate being called Jamsie. Besides, YOU thought it up genius!

S – Yeah, when I was 8 and stupid.

J – Well, you're not 8 anymore…

S – I hate you.

J – No you don't.

S – Yeah, you're an evil git who likes to insult people.

J – I'm not evil. 

S – Yes you are. You even have horns!

J – I'd rather have horns than fleas.

S – You'll never let me live that down, will you?

J – Nope! See how cute all the girls would think Sirius Black is if they found out he had fleas!

S – HAD! Keyword HAD! As in DON'T have them anymore!

J – Who cares if you don't have them anymore? You still had them!

S – Well you know what?

J – What?

S – I don't know.

J – Haha. I win. Moony, are we boring you?

R – No actually. This is entertaining.

S – You don't think it's funny that I had fleas, do you?

R – No.

S – Thank you!

R – I'd go more with hilarious really.

S – Moony! 

J – HAHA! Poor Padfoot.

S – Yes, poor Padfoot.

R – Don't expect to get any sympathy from me.

S – Yeah, yeah . So now how much time do we have left?

J – I think I'm going to get you a watch for Christmas.

S – But then I couldn't pester you guys anymore.

R – Somehow I don't think that's quite accurate.

J – In fact I have no doubt in my mind that you will indeed still pester us. Don't worry.

S – Just returning the favor, mates.

J – Oh, so you're saying we pester you, are you?

S – Yes.

J – I'm so sure. Because we're the ones who have obnoxiously loud bark-like laughs…

R – We're the ones who spend extraordinarily long periods of time in the shower…

J – We're the ones who ask every 5 seconds when a class ends…

S – Aren't you glad I put up with you guys?

J – I give up.

R – Same here.

S – Prongs, make the bell ring.

J – Bell, ring.

Binns drones on and on and on…

S – Some wizard you are.

J – Why don't you make the bell ring then?

S – Because I'm not stupid enough to try.

R – Prongs, I think you were just insulted.

J – I think I was too, in some messed up, coming-from-Padfoot's-mind way.

S – Me? Insult you? Now why would I do that?

J – Because you're a bloody git.

S – 

J – The truth hurts, huh Padfoot?

S – I'm not talking to you.

J – No you're not. You're writing to me.

S – Fine. Then I'm not writing to you.

Bell