Based on my childhood: you probably read that and thought oh great another depressed brat complain about her life. Bite me. I'm not complaining on how my life turned out I'm happy with my friends but I still remember what is was like before them.

When I was little I was picked on, insulted, and beat up by people. Some of them were my age some of them were older. But mostly it was my friends who beat the shit out of me. Even though I called them friends I had none I was always alone. I never forgot a signal moment, from coming home trying to hide my "warrior bruises" to sleepless nights where little insults replayed in my head over and over.

Yeah that part of my life sucked and I hate how I felt like a monster when I finally fought back but what I hate even more …

MORE then the people who hurt me and gave me black eyes

MORE then the person who punched me hard enough to throw up.

Was the people who sat back and watched it happen.

I wanted someone to step up and save me and be a hero (as stupid as it sounds) but no one did anything...I'm sure they felt bad. But no one wants to interfere and help the loser. Isn't there a quote like that? lol I should know I am the quote master.

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing"

Ya that's it. Though evil is overdoing it a bit.

I wanted someone and I had no one. So I got stronger and learned how to stick up for myself or in reality how to hurt someone back.

I leaned how if I clasp my fist together and swung it like a hammer was more effective then hitting with one fist.

I learned that insults can make your opponent weaker and self-conscious while they're fighting.

I learned if there was a crowed people they wouldn't stop me in fact they would watch and be afraid of me knowing that I could make them bleed.

And I learned I hated myself for it.

Hearing someone else cry because of something I did the pain I cause ..it didn't make me feel any better.

And it didn't change the memories or the pain. So the point of this depressing note is this- BE A FUCKEN HERO! Don't let the opinions of others stop you from doing the right thing.

This is also dedicated to my real friends, the ones who took the time to see past my smiles and find me. You helped me realize I'm not the monster. I love you guys and I know how lucky I am to have you.

Angels Refuse to Die

º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø

There is nothing sadder than a child

who has barely seen the world,

yet who has seen enough of it to know

that he does not wish to be a part of it...

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø

Naruto stood in front of the mirror and grimaced at his refection. His tousled hair dripped from the rain and mud splattered across his cheeks.

Dunking his head into the clear water of his sink, he let his thoughts slip away with the mud.

Naruto's bangs fanned out around his head making a golden halo. A sudden peace spread within him as him as the air supply ran short. He could feel the bubbles caress his cheek and tickle his nose.

Was this death? A few moments without any thought or pain.

Expect of course for the burning sensation in his lungs.

Naruto's body rebelled against him making him come up from the now tainted waters gasping for air. Groping for his washcloth he dipped it into the dirty water and with gentle dabs, he washed the dried blood from the corner of his mouth. The blood seeped into he cloth spiraling in different direction, the cloth soaked up the excess blood leaving a large red hue on the cloth.

He looked in the mirror and was startled by his appearance. Scratches marred his cheeks making the whisker cuts grow deeper. If there was anytime that he looked deadly it was now. But looks are not always what they seem.

"Monster" the words a little too easily from his mouth. His blue eyes stared with no emotion held within. No anger. No happiness. Nothing.

A droplet of water trickled down his forehead and into his eye. He blinked and shook his head to clear his mind.

A scowl settled on his lips as he softy touched the swelling around his eye and hissed in pain.

It was times like this he wish make-up wasn't just for girls.

'Bet Sasuke uses it though. How else does he maintain a perfect completion.'

A grin slipped on the boy's lips before his face winced in pain. He glared at his reflection, taking in all the cuts and bruises lining his tan skin.

'No one will notice' he tried to convince himself.

"And if they do I'll just tell them I ran into the door they'll believe that!" he finished his thought out loud in the desire of inspiring hope.

It didn't fail as he managed to crack a half-smile with only a slight amount of pain. Naruto took one last look at his refection before walking out into the morning light.

He failed to notice his blood-soaked cloth slipped from its place on the sink and disappeared from sight into the muddy water, the only trace could be found from the steady flow of red pooling up to the center of the murky waters.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸

Sasuke leaned against a oak tree that shaded him from the morning light. It had rain last night and the ground was soft and saturated with water. The raven-hair's eyes narrowed into slits as he stood in a dreamlike state. He suppressed a yawn that tried to crawl from his throat.

'Not tired just worn out' he persuaded himself.

Sasuke glanced over to see his pink-hair teamate seethe in anger at Naruto lateness.

"Where the hell is that stupid jerk!" she screamed in frustration. She took a deep breath to continue her screeching before she felt a heavy hand pat her shoulder.

"Now now Sakura don't be so hard on the boy, I'm sure he has a good reason for being late."

Sakura turned to argue with her Sensei but stopped short when she realized his attention wasn't even on her. Instead he was focused on his new volume of Icha Icha Paradise.

Sakura's fist clenched as she felt her anger move up a notch. She took deep calming breaths but couldn't help mumble under her breath.

Sasuke closed his eyes again and let his thoughts drift some reason they kept coming back to hyper blond.

'Weird… the dobe is always here before I am and he never arrives after Kakashi-sensei'

He was just about to speak up when an excited voice caught his attention.

"I'm here! I'm here!"

The high elephant grass hide the boy's body but Sasuke could tell by he was closing in on the oak tree. Naruto pushed away the grass and hopped into the clearing. He quickly flashed his famous grin at his teammates and started to apologize.

"My Bad! Sorry guys!" he began a long explanation but no one was listening. They were all focused on his swelled face. Cuts and bruises lined his jaw but the feature that stood out the most was his black eye.

"Naruto," Naruto stopped his rambling when Kakashi voice rang out "what happened to your face?"

He rubbed the back of his head with a boyish grin

"Ran into the door! Can you believe it?"

The group was silent for a moment before a voice spoke out.

"No."

Naruto turn to the voice to find his rival had pushed off from his place on the tree and was walking closer, inspecting every cut on his face. Sasuke's black eyes bore into blue ones making Naruto visibly finch before breaking out into a huge grin.

"I know sound imposable right? Score one for the door huh?"

No one answered.

Naruto shivered from the pressure of their stares. He turned to Kakashi and spoke quickly to eliminate the silence that threaten to consume him.

"So Sensei! What's our mission for today? Do we get to rescue a princess or fight off invaders? Huh huh?"

Kakashi didn't answer the boy, his new volume had slipped from his fingertips and now laid discarded in the dirt. Naruto's smile falter slightly before he turned to the pink-haired female and rushed up to her side.

"Hey Sakura! Let go on a date afterwards! My treat!"

The female of the group couldn't tear her eyes away from the hyper boy. She softly whispered his name under her breath.

Naruto squirmed uncomfortably and cock his head to the side.

"What's wrong with you guys! Your acting weirder then usual!"

He turned to the last member of his group, sapphire eyes determined to get some sort of reaction.

His word stopped short as he stared into dim eyes. What was up with that look? Was it pity? Naruto felt his anger coil into a ball lash against his chest. A growl escaped from his throat as he stared in hate.

'That fucken bastered feels bad for me? Fuck! I don't need that!'

He launched himself at Sasuke without warning and drew back an arm. Sasuke quickly sidestepped him causing him to lose his sense of balance and tumble to the ground. His orange jacket crawled up making his stomach take a full blow on impact while revealing a few inches of his back. Naruto hissed in pain as he felt some of the cuts on his stomach reopen from the fall.

'Ok that wasn't the smartest thing to do.' he was about to get up and do some serious damage to Sasuke when he felt a cold finger probe a bruises on his open back. Naruto shuttered from the touch and quickly pulled his jacket further down to hide his exposed back.

He turned to glare at the finger prodder to find he was inches away from charcoal eyes.

Naruto sat back in shock as his long time rival kneeled in front of him silent as a stone. The blond was about to reeducate him about bubble space when Sasuke spoke.

"Dobe who did this?"

The familiar anger rose in Naruto chest as he tried to stand up only to be effortlessly push back by Sasuke hand.

"Bastered! Mind your own business!"

"Who hit you." Sasuke asked in a low dangerous voice

"No one I told you I ran into the door!"

"Liar." Sasuke's face was impassive.

"Shut up! Go away!"

"Not until you tell me who hit you."

"The door dumbass! Now move!" Naruto screamed making his face grow redder

"Tell me dobe."

"Fuck off!"

"That's enough boys," Kakashi voice broke through the yelling, "now if Naruto said he walked into a door then there is no reason to doubt him."

"Ya-ya!" Naruto cheered happily.

Sasuke locked his cold eye with Kakashi. "But Sensei…"

"What I say is final," Kakashi eyes twinkled "and beside I just thought of a training idea"

Naruto straighten up and broke out in a huge grin.

"Really! Really! What is it? What do I have to do huh huh?"

Kakashi eye closed into what appeared to be a smile "We' re going to play a game."

Naruto cocked his head in confusion "A game?"

'God I hope it's not dodge the rocks I get that enough from the villagers.'

Kakashi smiled and looked at Naruto letting his eye linger on the cuts "Yes a game it's called 'Catch the Liar.' The objective of the game is to gather information from a comrade who doesn't wish to tell. First we need a Liar hmmm who would that be?"

Kakashi eye darted around the group with a look of fake concentration.

"Naruto you are the Liar and Sasuke…you are the Gather."

Sasuke turned to face the blond with a huge smirk plastered on his face

'I'm going to like this game'.

Naruto face was priceless as he watched his team mate advance towards him.

'SON OF A MONKEY SPANK!'

"Umm wait a second! I don't think AHH Bastered! Stop looking at me like that!"

True to his words Sasuke had begun to move forward towards Naruto with a predator look in his eyes.

Naruto eyes darted to Kakashi his voice thick with desperation "Sensei!"

The teacher looked at the boy almost feeling sorry for him. Key word almost.

"Better start running."

The blond whimpered and took off like his shoes were on fire.

Sasuke quickly followed him into the elephant grass.

"Um Kakashi-Sensei? Do you think that was wise?"

The teacher smiled down at the girl tugging at his shirt. Reaching down he scooped up his new volume and brushed off the dirt before speaking.

"Probably not. But I'm sure Sasuke can get whatever information Naruto's withholding without too much damage."

Sakura looked unsure and listened to the Naruto yells of panic getting farther and farther away.

°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸

This was not good.

Naruto ran into the brush, each step caused him to winch at the noise he was making. Knowing it would alert his companion of where he was heading; Naruto could do nothing for the moment.

He stopped suddenly and listened for any movements. The silence bore down on him as an occasional rusle of grass, which he assumed was from the wind. He felt his sense prickle as he quickly spun around to find his comrade standing five feet away.

The black eyed ninja stared at the boy with no emotions.

Naruto began to sweat from the tension of Sasuke glare and tried to reason with him.

"Listen Bastered! I-" he lost his voice as he saw the Sasuke move into a fighting poise.

'He's going to attack.' Naruto thought, he intently moving into a defense stands.

Minutes ticked by as nether ninja's moved. They stood watching each other waiting for the others signal to start.

The attack came suddenly as Sasuke leapt towards him drawing back his arm to punch.

The action forced Naruto to react without thought as he blocked the attack using his forearms as a shield.

He responded by aiming a kick towards Sasuke stomach but the black eyed boy quickly drew back and used his speed to get behind the Naruto's back and wrapped his arms around the boy pinning the blond's his arms to his side. Naruto found himself trapped in and struggled to free himself.

"Fucking bastered!" Naruto yelled as he tried to wiggle out of the embrace.

"Last chance Dobe," Sasuke lowed his mouth to the blond's ear "who hurt you?"

"Go to hell!" Naruto slammed his elbow into Sasuke stomach and used the force of impact to then bring his fist down and slam it into the boy's groin.

Sasuke's arms loosened enough for Naruto to escape. The black haired boy fell onto the ground clutching his private part moaning in pain. Naruto stood over the boy with his head bowed down. His blond tresses hide his face from sight and his mouth moved steady rhythm to the words practiced over and over in his mind. "I will be the Hokage."

Naruto kneeled down and spoke to Sasuke's back.

"I am Naruto Uzumaki. I will become the Hokage of this village. No ones going to get in the way of my dreams. Not the Third. Not the villagers. Not even you."

"Is that so?"

Naruto gasped as Sasuke's legs swept under his own making him tumble backwards onto his back. The impact knocked him breathless and made his head swarm and left him temporarily confused. Before he could get up Sasuke pinned him down using Naruto's thighs as a balancing point.

Naruto yelled in pain as Sasuke's knee pressed onto one of the wounds from earlier. Sasuke quickly removed his knee when Naruto yelped and with the only option left chose to straddle the blond instead.

Naruto's fist shot up aiming for the raven hair's face but was quickly caught in paler hands and forced to the ground next to his face.

The blond struggled against his capture pushing with his arms and bulking his hips but Sasuke never released his hold or showed any signs of weariness, he waited patently for the blond to grow tired. Naruto's face grew red from strain and bit his lip when he felt the cuts on his stomach reopen.

Sasuke's eyes grew wide as blood ooze threw the orange jacket.

"Dobe stop moving!" he yelled in terror but Naruto refused to yield as he fought in agony. Sasuke tightened his grip on the boy's hands and squeezed his legs together hoping the pressure would make the boy listen while limiting his space.

"GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!" The blond screamed in desperation.

Ignoring his yells, Sasuke releasing one hand to unzip the orange jacket and pulled up the black shirt to inspect the wounds.

The blood covered the boy's stomach but had begun to dry leaving a cast over the boy's torso. It cracked as the blond begin to struggle again revealing a drawing on the boy's stomach. The new blood had begun to retreat back into its holder's body and a red glow basket over the wound stitch itself back up.

Naruto stopped moving when he felt a cold finger traces around the symbol on his stomach. He whimpered as cold flesh grazed against the burning tattoo

"A seal?" Sasuke whispered confused.

The words brought Naruto back to reality as he quickly punched the distracted boy with his free hand in the jaw hard enough to throw him off. Naruto quickly stood up on his feet and gawk in wild terror at the raven haired. His orange jacket slid off of him and crumbled to the floor. Sasuke stared at him in uncertainty as Naruto heart clenched

'Get away from me.'

Naruto turned on his heels with out a glance at the boy kneeling down and ran with his head down.

'He knows.'

Naruto picked up speed as his thoughts processed. Sasuke's scowling face appeared in his head

'He hates me'

Naruto cleared the field and started running threw the village, shoving himself into the crowds trying to get threw. Random people yelled at him and pushed him when he got too close.

'They all hate me'

Dodged a trashcan and jumped up to the rooftops.

'I'm not the fucking monster!'

His anger grew and flecks of red appeared in his eyes. The control of the fox demon boiled under his skin reminding him of the power that could sweep threw his body.

"It's not my fault! It wasn't me! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

No no no no! Naruto sunk into a knelling position and tried to calm himself down.

'No don't think that! Stop it! Think of something else!'

Naruto looked up finally realizing where his feet had lead him. He stood up and gazed from his spot on top of the Hokage mountain over looking the village. The wind ruffled his bangs hiding his clear blue eyes from sight

º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸ °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°°º¤ø,¸¸

Ok I feel much better now! Wow that actually made me feel a lot better weird no? u'd think having to remember this stuff n write them down in words would be hard but its easy! N I feel 10000X better…..o n I calmed down cuz I have mah tea! For the tea addicts out there u know when ur down to the last drops but there is honey coated at the bottom so its like ur drinking sugar! Yumm jus makes my brain go bizzazzr…that probably y I had such a big change is story plot I thought It was gunna be all sad n depressing but its not so much( well it was put I added my favorite insult SON OF A MONEKY SPANK in there so its not all sad)…hmmm honey must be a mind controlling substance

I'm sorry how the note at the top came out. I didn't mean for it to be so mean but I was running on pure rage then. Can't blame me for how that came out. I like Naruto cuz he reminds me so much of myself (I know it doesn't seem like it from the first paragraph ) but I'm a very cheerful person. My friends call me an idiot cuz I never think before acting and I never talk about depressing shit. For all they know I had a happy childhood. And its going to stay that way. I've already started on chapter 2 I'll posted it when I feel like its ready.

Once again sorry for being a brat I really needed this. Thanks for listening to my tale

Peace

Gene