Chapter Three: The Chosen One

Some time later, (though, how much later, we'll never know) Neville knocked on the door.

"Come on in, Neville." Ron called.

"Hey guys." Neville had buffed up over the summer and looked suddenly really hot. That is because the more hot boys there are, the more an American Girl can flirt with/have mad hot sex with. It's your basic Mary Sue/Bishounen Relative Proportions Theorem. Clearly.

They waited while Neville's new hotness sunk in. Hermione tapped her fingers impatiently.

"What's up?" Harry asked finally. (Even though he is British and they don't really say that.)

"I have big news. The American Girl is the seeker for the American Quidditch Team!" Neville shrieked.

"No!" Hermione cried.

"Surely not!" Ron cried.

"Yes!" Neville cried. "She's the youngest professional seeker ever!"

"I AM ALREADY IN LOVE!" Harry yelled.

"NO! She's your sister!" Hermione whapped him on the head.

"Can't she be Draco's sister?" Harry whined.

Hermione pressed a finger to her lips.

"Please?" He made puppy-dog eyes at her.

She sighed.

"Fine."

"So, what else do you know about her?" Harry asked, suddenly very eager.

"Well, I don't know if I'm at liberty to say…"

"Clearly, you are! Otherwise you wouldn't have come in at all! You are only a plot device." Ron deduced. Hermione gave him a pat on the head.

"Neville, you're too peripheral." She agreed.

"Oh. Right." Neville said. "Well, anyways, I do have more. The American Girl's name is… Tsfiria Nightenblossom!"

"What a beautiful name." Harry sighed.

"She must come from some place exotic!" Hermione sighed.

"I'll bet she's Egyptian, Indian, Cherokee, Amazon, and Japanese mixed," Ron sighed.

"Yes. Well, anyway. See you all later, lads. I'm off," Neville said, because they sounded like very British things to say.

"Yeah, see you Neville. Don't forget to hook up with my sister if you see her- can't have Ginny getting in the way of the American Girl. But don't forget- you also have to lust after Tsfiria in secret," Ron said.

"Yeah, sure, Ron."

"And go tell Seamus and Dean, so they can lust after Tsfiria as well!" Hermione added.

"Okay."

He was gone.

"That's odd," Hermione commented.

"What's odd?" Asked Ron predictably.

"Well, I'd been told she was of the Pheonix clan, one of the Chosen Firebirds." Hermione said nonchalantly, like that actually existed. .

Harry looked as if he wanted to say 'what the fuck?' for a split second, but instead he squealed.

"That's sooooo awesome! I bet she has special fire elemental powers!" He clasped his hands together.

"Well, yes, but apparently she's the heir to all four elements- a Chosen Wavecrasher, a Chosen Flowerheart, and a Chosen Stratus." The other two gasped.

"I don't even know what that means and it sounds cool." Ron said in an awed tone.

"Yes. Clearly, due to these silly names, she had mastered the power of harnessing the elements with her raw magic to do her bidding. She's very powerful."

"I'll bet she'll send rain to put out a fire." Ron decided.

"She'll strike someone down with lightning!" Harry cried.

"When she walks, golden flowers grow in her wake!"

The boys began giggling together, because really, Tsfiria made them all wobbly inside.

"So what's the odd part?" Harry inquired, as if this were all normal occurrence.

"Well, if she's a Nightenblossom…" She paused because she loved having them hang on her every word, "that means she's a Vampiress. And I didn't know Vampires could do elemental magic."

"VAMPIRE!" Harry and Ron yelled. "That's so awesome and angsty!"

"Yes, and I expect she's the first vampire to have elemental powers."

"Of course." Harry said. "Nothing less from my beloved."

"What do you mean, your beloved?" Ron demanded.

"She's destined for me!" Harry jabbed his thumb to his chest.

"Noooo. She'll LOVE an adorable red-head." Ron grinned.

"No. The hero always gets the girl." Harry crossed his arms.

"Luna said she's your SISTER." Ron poked Harry.

"Luna's a crackpot." Harry knocked his hand away.

"BOYS!" Hermione cried. "She'll probably end up in a Blaise/Draco threesome."

" No! Never!" Her boys cried. "we must prevent the evil Slytherins from sinkng their claws into her!"

Hermione was very impressed with how well they yelled in unison.

"Well, we'll see. Just stop bickering over her."

She paused to replay her words in her head.

"Actually, I take that back. Have a duel to the death. While she tries in vain to intercede, sparkling tears pouring down her cheeks."

The two best friends looked at each other.

"WIZARD'S DUEL IT IS!"