oOoOoOoOo
December 23, 2005
9:34 p.m.
Jack had finally arrived at the police station and managed to stay there for a considerable amount of time. He had to get through the inspection test (which he really didn't enjoy) and a drug test and an identification test and a bunch of other tests. But the reason that he was there for so long was mostly due to the fact that people there were unable to stay serious about the whole situation. Jack suspected that this was because he was still running around in a Santa outfit without a spare change of clothes.
Now finally they had taken him in to be questioned.
"Sit down, son," an african american police officer said to Jack as they entered a nearly empty room.
Jack walked over to one of the only two chairs in the room and sat down.
The room, if words had to decribe it, was boring. All it had was one table with two chairs on either side and on the right wall was a mirror. Jack knew that this mirror was a one-way mirror. He knew this because he had watched alot of action movies where the suspect or victim walks into one of these rooms and there are people watching them on the other side of the mirror.
"My name is Mr. Cross," the black man said to Jack as he sat down on the other side of the table, "And according to what I have heard, your name is Jack Henry Spicer. Am I correct?"
"Yes," Jack said annoyed, "Can I take off my beard now?"
"No. But may I remind you that I'll be the one asking the questions from now on. Besides, the beard suits you."
Jack rolled his eyes and sighed.
"From what I understand you tried to steal from little Rebecca Stevens, am I correct?"
"No, I was framed," Jack said truthfully.
"Well, that's all I needed to know. You can leave now," Mr. Cross said and cracked a grin as he stood up from his chair.
"What? You mean to tell me, that I went through nearly three hours of inspections just for you to come in and tell me that I'm free to go!" Jack said loudly with his cheeks flushing.
"Yup!" Mr. Cross said and removed Jack's hand cuffs, "It was kinda obvious that you were innocent when we heard that it was Rebecca Stevens who had you arrested."
"Then what was the point in keeping me here!"
"All the fella's around the office needed a good laugh and what better entertainment then having a guy dressed as Santa running around the place?"
"Your a sick bastard...," Jack said angrily. He was very angry at the moment for being publicly(sp?) hummilated and poked fun at by the police.
"Now watch your language," Mr. Cross warned, "But just so you know your boss is outside waiting for you."
"Well, thank you for your hospitality," Jack said sarcastically and walked out of the police station while pulling off his beard and Santa hat.
"I quit," Jack said grumpily as he walked right past Mr. Reddyman.
"What?" Mr. Reddyman said in disbelief, "You can't quit now of all times," he said and walked after Jack.
"Yes I can."
"Do you know how hard it'll be to get a new santa at this time of the year?"
"I don't care," Jack said stubornly and walked down the empty city street.
"Just think of all the disappointed children who won't get to see Santa!"
"So? They'll get over it," Jack said carelessly.
"You stopped believing in Santa when you was very young didn't you?" Mr. Reddyman asked.
"Yes, and frankly I don't care if a bunch of spoiled brats stop believing," Jack said with a voice filled with malice.
"Oh, now you don't mean that," Mr. Reddyman said, "Besides, if I remember correctly not all of those children were spoiled, in fact, some of them were a little deprived of the neccesarities in life," Mr. Reddyman hinted.
"If your talking about that poor little boy-," Jack was cut short by Mr. Reddyman.
"YES! It is children like that that need something to believe in! You don't want to take away that belief do you?"
"There are other people in the world who dress as Santa, surely they can visit them."
"Unless there are some orphan children running around and have no way of visiting another Santa. You are the only Santa in the local area!"
Jack sighed, "Fine. You win. Just do me a favor and give me a ride home."
"I knew I could count on you!" Mr. Reddyman and the two walked to his parked vehicle.
oOoOoOo
December 24, 2005
1:00 p.m.
Christmas Eve
Jack had went back rode back to his house last night, although, not before picking his things back up at the mall. He returned home at about ten thirty and almost immediately laid down on his bed for some shut-eye.
Now however, Jack was lying on his bed and incoherently talking about cheese in his sleep.
The clock read 1:01 and the shrill alarm went off.
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Jack screamed and fell out of his bed and did a face plant into the floor.
"Get up," Jesse said grumpily, "It's time for you to get ready for work."
"Shut up," Jack said drowsily and slowly stood up, "Oh, sorry Jesse," Jack apologized. He had forgotten to turn her off again.
"Here, go to sleep," Jack said and pressed a nearby button.
"Thank you," Jesse said gratefully and her screen showed sheep leaping over a white picket fence.
"If only I could do the same," Jack said and yawned with all his might.
Jack had enough spare time to get ready for the day ahead of him and he even had the time to eat breakfast, or lunch really since it was pretty late in the day.
And soon Jack set off for his second and final day of work.
oOoOoOoOo
December 24, 2005
3:24 p.m.
Jack found himself in the Santa outfit and sitting with brats sooner than he expected. Probably because he already knew what to do and where to go and was prepared for anything that may head his way...or so he thought.
"Can I have a doll house for Christmas?" a little girl named Christina asked as she sat on Jack's lap.
"I'll see what I can do," Jack said the sentence for the third time that day.
"Thank you Santa!" Christina said satisfied and hopped out of his lap.
It was only about ten minutes afterward that Jack noticed some a group of people that he really didn't want to meet right now.
Omi, Clay, Kimiko, and Raimundo were walking around the mall only a few yards away.
'They must be looking for a Shen-Gong-Wu,' Jack thought to himself. He wouldn't have known that a Shen-Gong-Wu activated of course, because he left his detecto-bot and his other gadgets in the changing room.
'I can't risk them seeing me in this condition anyways,' Jack thought and tried to get out of the chair. The xiaolin warriors were heading his way and he didn't want to be around them. Even if they didn't recognize him, he would still feel uncomfortable around them.
As Jack attempted to get out of his chair he found that he couldn't because of some unknown force.
Jack lifted himself enough to see that he was sitting on piles and piles of already chewed gum.
'How come I didn't notice that before?' Jack thought to himself. He soon realized however that all of the gum was the same color as the chair, which was green. 'Who in the world chews this much gum and sticks it to Santa's chair?' Jack thought angrily and tried to pull himself out of the chair.
All the people waiting in the line where giveing him strange looks.
Jack was unable to pull himself out of the chair and came to the conclusion that the only way out of this was to take off his pants, and he wasn't to keen on trying that in public.
oOoOoOo
The xiaolin warriors at this time had found the Sheng-Gong-Wu easily and decided to take a break and look around the mall. Dojo, however, was asleep under Clay's hat.
"Look at all the pretty Christmas decorations!" Kimiko exclaimed.
"What is Christmas?" Omi asked curiously. Everyone gave him a funny look, but after a few moments realization dawned upon them.
"Oh, sorry there little buddy," Clay said, "We forgot that you are a bit unfamiliar with some holidays."
"It's alright," Omi said, "So, Christmas is a holiday?"
"Yeah," Raimundo said, "It's celebrated in alot of countries even some people in my town celebrate it."
"Yeah, although there aren't many, some people in my country celebrate it too," Kimiko stated.
"Yeah, well, everyone I knew in Texas celebrated it."
"But what is Christmas about?" Omi asked innocently.
"It's a time of the year where people give gifts to each other. It's kinda like New Year's but it's not celebrateing the coming of a new year," Kimiko explained.
"Yeah, and people hang a bunch of decorations around and keep them up longer than necessary," Raimundo remarked and looked at a reef that was hanging in a store window.
"But you can't forget the most important thing about Christmas," Clay said.
"And what would that be?" Omi asked his friend.
"Chirstmas Dinner of course!" Clay said happily and Raimundo and Kimiko laughed. Omi however was paying attention to something different.
"My friends, why is there a heavy set man sitting in such a big chair while wearing such strange clothes?" Omi asked the others.
Everyone looked at who Omi was talking about only to realize that it was Santa Claus.
"Well, well, it looks like Santa came to town," Clay said and tipped his hat. Clay, Raimundo, and Kimiko already knew of course that Santa wasn't real. But Omi didn't know that.
"Hey guys," Kimiko said, coming up with an idea, "Let's take Omi to see Santa Claus"
"That's a great idea!" Raimundo cheered in.
"I don't know guys, I wouldn't want the little fella' to be disappointed," Clay said thoughtfully. What if Omi asked Santa for something he couldn't possibliy get.
"You worry to much," Raimundo said.
"That man's name is Santa Claus?" Omi asked, "Is he important?"
"Only the most important dude in the universe!" Raimundo said.
"What does he do?" Omi asked.
"You tell the story Clay, you should know it better than the rest of us," Kimiko said.
"Alrighty then," Clay said, giving in and began to explain who Santa was and what he did around Christmas time. By the time he was finished Omi was really excited.
"Oh my! I must meet this man!" Omi exclaimed, "I have been very good this year and I wish to tell him that I want a new set of robes and maybe even a box of chocolates!" Omi said cheerfully.
Kimiko wispered to Raimundo, "Did you hear that Raimundo, go get it and we can give it to Omi on Christmas."
"Why?"
"Because if he doesn't get it, than he'll be so disappointed!" Kimiko said and shoved some money into Raimundo's hand while Omi wasn't looking, "Now go!" Kimiko shooed Raimundo and he went running off.
"Let us go see this man!" Omi said and ran up to the end of the line. Kimiko and Clay followed him so that they could keep a close eye on him.
oOoOoOoOo
Jack looked up at the xiaolin warriors to see that Raimundo had gone missing and the others where standing in the line.
'My day just got ten times worse,' Jack thought to himself as another child sat himself on Jack's lap.
"Hello there little one!" Jack said in merry voice, "And what is your name?"
"My name is Chris," the child said and began to pick his nose.
Jack looked at the kid with disgust, luckily, nobody could see the face he was making because of his beard.
"And what do you want for Christmas?" Jack asked as Chris pulled a booger from out of his nose and shoved it in his mouth. Jack tried desperately to ignore this action.
"I want a toy robot," Chris said with his mouth full of boogers.
"Would you like a shovel too?" Jack asked the kid.
"Why would I want a shovel?" the kid asked as he pushed a finger up his nostril again.
"So that you can dig around in that gold mine easier," Jack said.
"Sure," the kid said and wiped a booger on Jack's pant leg.
"Eww," Jack said quietly and pushed the kid off his lap, "Okay, I'll see what I can do just so long as you stop picking your nose," Jack said in disgust and flicked the booger off of his pants (which landed in someone's nearby drink).
The next child that was up was Omi, much to Jack's dread.
Omi quickly bounded up to Jack.
Jack picked Omi up and placed him in his lap. Jack was very grateful that the others hadn't realized who he was...yet.
"Hello Mr. Santa Clause. My name is Omi and I have heard much about you lately," Omi said respectfully, after all, Omi didn't want to get on Santa's bad side.
"Oh, have you now?" Jack said in a deep voice, he didn't want to risk having Omi recognizeing his own voice.
"Yes sir," Omi said with a sincere smile.
"And what is it that you want for Christmas little one?" Jack asked the round headed child.
"I would be most grateful as to get a set of new robes and a box of chocolates this year," Omi said.
"Is that all?" Jack asked.
"Yes sir, that is all I want for this Christmas," Omi confirmed.
"I'll see what I can do," Jack said the sentence again and was about to push Omi off of his lap but before he could he saw a flash of white light surrounding the area. Kimiko had taken a picture of Omi sitting on 'Santa's' lap.
'This really sucks,' Jack thought and placed Omi back on the floor only to find that Kimiko walked up to him.
"What are you doing Kimiko?" Clay asked the Japanese girl he thought that she knew that Santa wasn't real.
"I'm just having fun," Kimiko said with a smile and sat on Jack's lap.
Jack was surprised at this action, but none-the-less, continued to act out the role of Santa.
"And what is your name little girl?" Jack asked, even though Kimiko wasn't really that little. If the two had been standing she would only be a few inches shorter than Jack.
"I'm Kimiko," Kimiko stated and giggled. She didn't honestly believe in Santa, she was just being silly right now.
"Well now Kimiko, what would you like for Christmas?" Jack asked.
"I'd like a new MP3 player," Kimiko said with a grin.
"Oh really now? And do you think that you are on the naughty or nice list?"
"I think I'm on the nice list," Kimiko said and giggled.
"Alrighty then, I'll see what I can do," Jack said and waited for Kimiko to hop off his lap but she didn't. She just looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"You look familiar. Have we met before?" Kimiko asked Jack.
Jack began to sweat nervously, "Now I'm sure we have, it was probably in another mall or perhaps we met while I was coming down your chimney a few years ago," Jack tried to assure her.
"No, I'm serious. Have we met?" Kimiko asked and stared at Jack.
Jack didn't answer as he swallowed a lump in his throat.
Kimiko sighed, "Oh well, maybe it was just my imagination," Kimiko said quietly and hopped out of Jack's lap. Jack let out a sigh of relief as she walked off with Clay and Omi.
'That's good,' Jack thought to himself, 'She didn't recognize me... And she even sat on my lap! ...Cool...'
"Well, well, well," said a voice beside Jack, "If it isn't the bumbling idiot that we're all familiar with."
Jack whipped his head around only to see Chase Young standing beside him.
"W-what are you doing here?" Jack studdered.
Chase grinned wickedly, "Now shouldn't I be asking the same question? After all you are in a Santa outfit"
"This happens to be my job!" Jack snapped and then paused to take a closer look at Chase, "So what's your excuse for being here? And why are you dressed so...normal?"
Indeed, Chase did not look the same as the last time he and Jack met. For some reason he was clothed in baggy jeans, a loose t-shirt, sneakers, and had a watch on. And to add to the affect, he was wearing his hair in a loose pony tail. However, he had tucked his pointed ears behind his hair and was wearing what appeared to be colored contacts so he could hide his bizarre eyes. In fact, he didn't look like Chase at all. He looked like normal person walking through the mall.
"I happen to be shopping for groceries," Chase replied, "As for the clothes, I accidentally walked through the men's department in J C Pennys and the employees there tackled me and forced me to wear this crap."
Jack felt his eyes bulge out of his head, "You mean to tell me, that a super-evil villian like you, let a bunch of adverage people force you to do something that you didn't want to do?" Jack slowly felt his admiration for Chase, drop increaseingly fast (A/N: NO HE'S NOT GAY! at least i don't think so).
"I, surprisingly, wasn't in the mood for spraying blood. Besides, had I actually killed them, I would have accidentally spilt their blood on all those clothes. Do you realize how expensive that would be? To pay for all those clothes!" Chase exclaimed and glared at Jack.
Jack felt himself shiver under Chase's gaze.
"Hey man! What's happe'in!" a black man said a few feet away from Chase. The black guy also had about four other black men standing behind him. Each one varied in clothing, skin color (although all of them were still black), and height. But it was obvious that the one speaking to Chase, was the leader of the group.
"Oh no, not you again!" Chase exclaimed and took off running down the mall yelling, "I HATE SHOPPING IN THESE DAMNED PLACES"
"Yo! Hey man! Come back here! We still need another player to make the teams even! How the 'hell are we s'posed to play basketball without some white dude anyway?" the leader said and him and his cronies ran after Chase.
Jack had no idea who the black men were, what connection they had with Chase (although obviously it had something to do with basketball), or why they needed 'some white dude', but Jack didn't let these thoughts distract him from his job. Even if they were some pretty hilarious thoughts.
The only thing that distracted him again, was the xiaolin monks running up to him.
'Oh crap!' Jack thought to himself, 'They've discovered who I am! What other reason could they have possibly(sp?) have come back here for?'
They xiaolin monks walked up to Jack and stood before him.
"What do you want?" Jack asked while sweating nervously.
"I just realized it, and now, we know who you are," Kimiko stated.
"So?" Jack said.
"So? Your an imposter!" Omi exclaimed while pointed his finger at Jack. Many people turned their heads to the group.
"Shhh! Keep it down!" Jack put a finger to his lips, "There might be little kids around here."
"Why do you care?" Clay asked the evil boy genius.
Jack rolled his eyes, "This is my job and if you guys don't shut up, I just might not get paid at all."
The others stared at Jack with a strange look.
"So...you work here?" Kimiko slowly asked Jack.
"Obviously."
"...So, I sat on your lap?" Kimiko said with a disgusted face.
Jack smiled cheerfully, "I guess you did..."
Kimiko slapped Jack across the face. Which didn't really hurt Jack since he was wearing a beard, but still, yeah, it still hurt.
"Ouch," Jack said and rubbed his sore cheek.
"Come on guys, let's go," Kimiko said while glaring at Jack, he seemed to be getting that alot lately. And so Kimiko and the others walked off but not before Omi questioned, "So, does this mean that Santa Clause is not real?"
"Of course he real!" Raimundo said quickly while carrying a bag of 'unknown' items, "It's just that some people dress up like Santa and have kids tell them what they want for Christmas. Then those people send a message to Santa, and tell him what those kids want," Raimundo lied.
"Do you think that Jack will tell Santa what I wish for?" Omi questioned his friends.
"He will, don't worry" Kimiko said reassuringly.
Jack rolled his eyes and waited for a line to form. God this job sucked, although, seeing Chase being followed by a bunch of black guys while wearing normal clothes was pretty entertaining.
oOoOoOoOo
December 25, 2005
1:00 p.m.
Christmas Day
Jack had gotten back from his job last night and still had the events that had happened fresh in his mind.
Why, do you ask? It might have had something to do with a child, four years old to be exact, wasn't fully potty trained and wetted himself on 'Santa's' lap. But of course Jack couldn't do anything about that because he was still stuck to the chair and had to place a blanket over his lap to cover up the stain. Although, this couldn't possibly help the smell that was soon to come.
Also, some brat had punched Jack in the face, because Jack had said, "Well aren't you a chubby little fellow?", and although Jack hadn't meant it to be an insult the boy took it as one.
Not only that, but when he finally freed himself from the chair (with the help of Mr. Reddyman), he went passed by a bunch of mexicans, who immediately pounced him and tied him up in a back room so that they could use him as a pinyata. The bruises on Jack were still fairly noticable.
Jack had gotten paid at the end of his shift and luckily for him Mr. Reddyman decided to give him a Christmas bonus. Jack bought his robots some high quality oil and bought Jesse an fairly expensive anti-virus software that also came with a screen saver so that Jesse could rest without telling Jack to shut her off. And still yet, Jack had some extra money, so he decided to spent it on two children he had the chance to meet at the mall.
For the little boy Henry, Jack went to the nearby pet store and bought a white fuzzy bunny with black spots and some rabbit food. Using Jack's to-intelligent-for-it's-own-good computer, Jesse, Jack was able to find the little boys house and place the rabbit in a cage and rabbit food, on the boys window sill. The tag on the cage said as follows: To: Henry From: Santa.
To the little girl, Rebecca Stevens, Jack simply bought a stocking and shoved alot of coal and a dead mouse in it and nailed it to the house door with a tag that said: To: Rebecca Bratty Stevens From: Santa.
Still yet, Jack had about ten or fifteen dollars left and went to the local firework store and bought a really big firework. He went to the one of the mexican's house and joyfully found out that all the mexican's were there and throwing a Christmas Eve party. Jack, using his heli-pak, flew onto their roof and lit the firework and shoved it down their chimney. Jack quickly hid behind one of their bushes and watched in glee as the mexican's ran outside and into the snow screaming, "DEMONS HAVE COME TO KILL US ALL!" while some of them were on fire. Unfortunately, as Jack had hoped, the house didn't burn down. It might have something to do with the fact that the house was made of brick. Either way, Jack got his revenge, and he was happy for it.
Currently, however, Jack was asleep on his bed and enjoying a nice little dream where him and Ms. Swiss were having a romantic dinner together, that he wouldn't remember when he woke up.
"So, how do you like the wine? Delicious isn't it?" Jack mumbled slowly and sighed in his slumber.
The clock read 1:01 p.m., but right before the alarm went off Jack heard his step-father yell through Jack's closed door. "Jack! Get up right now! This is really important!"
"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Jack screamed and fell out of his bed and onto the floor, makeing a 'KA-SPLAT!' noise.
"Are you okay in there?" Jack's step-father asked quietly.
"I'm fine," Jack mumbled and heaved himself off the concrete floor, "What do you want?" Jack asked and walked over to his door and opened it to see his step-father's face.
"What happened to you?" Jack's step-father asked quickly when he noticed the bruises covering Jack's face and arms.
"Nothing, just ran into some stupid foreigners. Now what did you want?" Jack asked while trying to glare at his step-father, unfortunately, this proved hard to accomplish, since he was yawning at that moment.
"Oh yeah, your mother's here!" the man exclaimed. Jack's eyes widened.
"She's here? Right now?" Jack asked quickly.
"Yes!" Jack step-father said, "The helicopter that she was in exploded for some strange reason, but she was able to parachute out of it before it blew up. She got lost in the jungle for a long time, but she found an airport and flew back here! She's in the kitchen right now!"
Jack ran his hand through his hair slowly, "Oh my god...," Jack said with a shocked look on his face.
"Come on! She wants to see you!" Jack's step-father said and walked away from Jack's room and went into the kitchen while Jack quickly followed.
They say that if you have alot of bad luck, soon, you will get alot of good luck. And this seemed to be the case.
THE END.
oOoOoOoOoOo
what did you think? oh and for some reason i don't have any decent writing programs on my computer, so i'm stuck useing simpletext, which doesn't have any spell check or grammar check. what sucks even more, is that when i upload a document i am forced to use tags when editing. it is a very slow and long process, in fact it took me about an hour in order to type in all the page breaks needed for this chapter. oh and sorry that i didn't get this in before christmas like i had planned, but i had a bad case of writers block, mostly due to the fact of the holiday shopping and stuff. but i can be forgiven, right? neways, no offence to any mexican's or black people who are reading this. i just like to put different varities of people in my stories and i figured that the pinyata deal would be pretty funny. also, i'm not sure if mexican's celebrate christmas, but lets just pretend that they do for now. also, i'm a little fuzzy on the details on whether or not brazil or japan celebrates christmas. i know that japan has it's own religion so i don't suspect that christmas is a big deal to them, but i don't know alot on brazil at all. uh, i left out the whole Jesus thing in this story, because i know that some people celebrate christmas but don't acknowledge the thought of it being Jesus's birthday. my head hurts right now, so if what i'm saying doesn't make sense to you, ignore it and give me an asprin.