Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
starlitestarbrite2
Author's Notes:
Hi, this is my new PD fanfic (based on the books, so if you aren't interested, close this now! But who doesn't like the books?), 'Mistakes' is on hiatus right now, and has been for about a year, unfortunately, and this is my holiday project. I hope you all like it, it's like a comedy drama. And even though it is against policy (what a stupid policy though!), there are song lyrics on this. I don't see why we can't use them if we won't pass them off as our own. Hope you enjoy! Please R&R
(By the way, there will be a soundtrack for this story, I will provide you with a tracklisting for it so you can go and download the songs on iTunes or whatever.)
All Princess Diaries related characters and indicia are copyright of Meg Cabot (best author ever!). Song credits listed at end of chapters.
Chapter 1
Dakota
Apartment 8, 1411 Hepburn Street, Manhattan 12.30pm
OK, I just woke up with a killer hangover. Trust me, a dog named after a psychological torture master is not one you want licking your face after way too much alcohol consumption. Actually, you don't want anyone licking your face after a hangover.
I am so, so tired. Guess who's never, ever drinking or touching or looking at alcohol again? Michael Moscovitz, that's who. I vow from now one never to--- oh, who am I kidding? I said that yesterday, and the day before, but not the day before that because I was working at the Apple store.
Wasted days roll in, wasted nights roll out. It seems lately like I'm always wasted. But no-one seems to notice. And the person I wish would notice, can't, because she is 2000 miles away ruling over a small principality.
It's so stupid, the way I'm pretending I'm OK, but I'm clinging on to every little last piece of her, even though she's moved on completely. I've even started writing this stupid journal, because it reminds me of how cute she looked, her little nose buried in her notebook, hand furiously scribbling down every last detail.
Not that I'm trying to resemble her or anything, that's a little Norman Bates-ish for my liking.
Thinking back, thinking of you
Summertime think it was June
Yeah think it was June
Laying back, head on the grass
Chewing gum having some laughs
Yeah having some laughs
I remember when we used to just hang out, and everything was fine, we'd go and get some pizza. We'd laugh and talk, and watch anime and wonder whether everything was going to change one day, and what would happen when easily-accessible petroleum would run out. We felt like we could live forever and—that we were invincible, not even her freaky grandma with the scary tattooed eyeliner would stop us.
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
She had this way of looking at me, making me feel like I was the strongest guy in the whole world. I remembered when I first started getting her 'love' cards in my senior year, I didn't believe it was her, even when Lilly told me. Why would a beautiful princess like her like me? I thought it was a mean prank, even though I never thought Mia could ever be mean to anyone, not even Lilly who deserved it most.
Drinking back, drinking for two
Drinking with you
When drinking was new
Sleeping in the back of my car
We never went far
Didn't need to go far
I wanted to protect her from the world. I knew I loved her more than anyone else in the world. She loved me too. I was her Han Solo, she was my Leia. I remember the night we took off to the beach, didn't stop driving until we got there. We slept under the stars and we had our first time. Afterwards, as she lay in my arms, I knew that she was the girl I wanted to be with the rest of my life. Of course, I wasn't going to propose until at least 5 years time, but it was comforting to know I was so dead-on correct about something. At least I thought I was...
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
A few months later, Mia called me to tell me we needed to talk. She'd been crying, I could hear it in her voice over the phone. She wanted to go to the beach. I drove by, picked her up, and we made our way there throughout the night in silence. I couldn't bring myself to ask her what was wrong, but I kissed her reassuringly at the traffic lights. She didn't say a word, even though she kissed back, but the tears still streamed down her cheeks.
When we finally got there, she got out of the car, and went to sit down at the spot that we both remembered for good reason. I looked at her 19 year old body, fatigued with defeat, shaking with sobs. I sat down next to her, and pulled her into a tight hug.
'What's wrong, Mia?' I whispered.
'Michael, I-'
'Is it your dad? Is he sick again?' I asked.
'No, it's—Michael, I have to leave.'
'It's fine, I'll take you home.'
She smiled a little through her tears.
'You're so sweet, don't ever change.' she said, holding my face her hands. 'No, I meant, I have to leave the country.'
My mouth went dry.
'Genovia?' I asked.
'Yes, in 3 weeks.' she whispered. 'I can't be with you anymore.'
I felt a lump in my throat, but I swallowed it promptly.
'We can survive this, Mia. We can still be together.' I said, reassuringly.
'No, Michael, we can't.'
'Yes, we can.' I protested.
'No, we can't!' said Mia, standing up angrily. 'Michael, it isn't fair to me or you. I can't be missing you forever, and I can't do this anymore!'
'I'll be here for you.'
'I know, and that's the problem! I can't do that to you, I'm not worth it!'
I stayed silent. I looked at my feet.
'I'm so sorry, Michael.' was all she managed to choke out for running away.
I got a call later from her mom saying she had picked Mia up and they were driving her home.
That was the last time I saw her. I didn't even have the balls to see her at the airport, to try again, and say goodbye. I couldn't even do that.
I don't know where we are going now
I don't know where we are going now
Lilly calls me and mentions her sometimes, but I can't talk about it and end up changing the subject. Then, what usually happens is we have a screaming match over the phone, and I hang up just as she calls me a drunken no-hoper. Maybe Lilly's not as blind as I think.
Wake up call, coffee and juice
Remembering you
What happened to you?
I wonder if we'll meet again
Talk about life since then
Talk about why did it end
I can't see her again. I have my own life, and she has hers. Hers is probably more pink and bubbly than mine will ever be, a sort of plastic, perfect bubble. I just hope she's hurting a little about me. I don't want to think that this is easy for her. Maybe it can prove to me how hard it was for her to leave.
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one
The one
I don't know where we are going now
I don't know where we are going now
So take a look at me now
I wish she could see me now, I wish she could see the boy she once loved pouring his emotions into a stupid journal, trying to bring some part of her back. Look at him, his eyes bloodshot, hair unkempt, dog eating some pizza off the floor. Look at that idiot, he's even using a 'Palais de Genovia' pen. Look at that chump, throwing the pen out the window down onto the frosty cold Manhattan street.
I miss her. I wish she would come back.
So take a look at me now
So take a look at me now
So take a look at me now
'Dakota' by Stereophonics.
Please R&R! Next chapter will be from Mia's perspective, hopefully a little less depressing.