By S-Chrome
Disclaimer: The legendary sundance Ron will be going out in a blaze of glory. However, before he does, he just want y'all to know that him and the other bit players are owned by Disney and the legendary B-School and M.C. Cork. Word life.
...And whatnot.
It was never a good thing when you had one supervillain ticked off at you for something other taking down their wicked schemes, but as for Ron Stoppable, he had two super baddies mad as hornets at him. And judging by the look of one blue-skinned mad scientist and his dangerous associate who was literally green with intense anger at this point, he was in for a bad, baaaad afternoon.
Plus being held prisoner in a dank warehouse being questioned like some sort of criminal didn't bode well for him either.
"Buffoon!" The former Drew Lipsky bellowed. "How could you not know? I mean, I could see if you were deaf, or blind, or..."
"I'm telling you guys! I didn't know!" Ron said defensively. "I mean, it's not like you two would notice if someone liked you," he continued "Shego would probably beat the guy up..."
"Got that right," She replied almost proudly. "Unless he was rich."
"And you, Drakken. I bet you wouldn't know if the..."
"Silence!" The mad scientist commanded. "You little buffoon! You don't know the first thing about me!"
"I know all about love," He paused. "...and heartbreak." he said, shaking his head.
"Oh boy," Shego said, placing an open hand on her forehead.
Ron was a bit surprised to hear this. So with a quick "What happened", Drakken began his story.
"It was a warm spring afternoon when we met. She wasn't the best-looking, but I knew of her... Inner beauty."
"She was like, 250 pounds," Shego whispered to the captive Ron.
"It didn't begin so well for us... But we would soon warm up to each other. It was such a nice beginning. I charmed her. You know, wined her, dined her... At first I was just going to, how you say, hit it, then quit it."
"Hit it?" Shego asked incredulously.
"--And quit it?" The blond asked in the same tone.
Drakken ignored the dubious questions and continued.
"At first I was only attracted to her potential to create super-destructive genetically mutated creatures," Drakken continues, as if there was no one in the warehouse with him.
"I thought I had what I wanted... Until Kim Possible and that brainy friend of her's came along. Her creation... no... our creation went out of control. Before I know what happened I saw this large chunk of debris, coming right at me, and then... There she was... Like an angel from heaven, she delivered me from destruction and risked life and limb just to rescue me," The doctor said, wiping a lone tear from his eye.
Both villainess and sidekick watched as the doctor continued this monologue that was buried deep within the confines of Drew Lipsky's soul.
"After Kim Possible ruined everything, as usual... I pulled her aside, and... professed my love for her... I-I-I thought she would take my hand... but... She... She... said that there was..." at this point, the doctor who was ever so defiant when it came to just about anything, was now breaking down. "She said there was..." Now his breaking down turned into loud, gasping sobs. "...She said there was someone else."
"DNAmy... My Amy... Had fallen in love with a MONKEY MAN!" He yelled, sinking to his knees in defeat.
The blue-skinned, and now obviously heartbroken man began to sob uncontrollably at this tale of is lost love. Ron looked at him in something that resembled amazement. Shego, on the other hand, she had to cover her mouth to keep herself from an all out laugh riot.
The location was finally locked in, and Kim Possible was perched on the roof, searching for a more stealthy way to get in there. Stealth or not, she was more than ready to bust in there and snap some necks, or break some bones, or split some wigs.
All for her Ronnie-Ron.
Only thing was she didn't know what the heck was going on. She looked through the fiberglass roof, no sign of Ron. All she saw was Drakken, who was curled up in the fetal position for some reason, and Shego, who was laughing away, and some of the doctor's henchmen, but no sign of Ron.
The fiends! They were probably holding him prisoner, doing who-know's what to him!
As Drakken continued to have his good little cry, Ron decided it was time to speak up.
"What does that have to do with me?" What do you want me to do about this? What are you trying to say?"
Shego couldn't take much more of this. With a quick leap into the young man's face, she was going to... very politely answer his question.
"It means..," But she was cut off by the doctor, who rushed to his prisoner's side. He grabbed his hand and looked at Stoppable directly in the eye.
"It means, Ron Stoppable, that if there is a lady out there who can actually stand you for thirty seconds and actually wants to be with you, then damnit, Ronald, you grab hold of her for DEAR LIFE and never let go. Don't be like me, a forty-something year old ad scientist who's still looking for the..."
The doctor's words of... encouragement were halted by Shego, as she grabbed the despicable doctor by the collar and threw him aside. The villainess voice was even more threatening this time.
"It means, Loverboy, that if you don't tell that lovesick girl how you feel about her, Kimmie is going to keep going after us!"
"Plus," A henchman added, his left arm in a sling. "We can't keep paying these outrageous hospital bills!"
"Plus," Added an unknown voice. "We have a little insurace policy that will make positively sure that YOU PROFESS YOUR LOVE!" the voice finished in a loud and annoyed tone.
Ron whirled around to see who that voice was. Short. Compact. Helmet. Very, VERY Loud.
"Professor Dementor?" The blond asked .
"Yes, young man," The more notorious professor answered. "I, too, have been a victim of your obliviousness." With that, he removed his helmet to reveal a large shiner beneath his right eye. Ron winced.
"Look at what your potential girlfriend has done to my face!" Dementor whined. "And for this, I will NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"
The professor slapped on a plastic object onto the blond's face. With his hands tied, there was no way he could pull it off himself.
"That is my Mask," Dementor stated triumphantly. "Since I know that Kim Possible is already here, she will have to figure out how to take it off. And if she can't, the mask will EXPLODE, SENDING MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF SIDEKICK PIECES INTO THE UPPER STRATUSPHERE!"
Drakken & Shego cringed, though it probably had something to do with the short professor's voice. On the other hand, Stoppable was shocked. He had really hoped that Dementor was right about Kim snooping around.
How despicable of a set up. How diabolical a plan. How sinister a plot. How does Jesse McCartney sleep at night, knowing that "Get Your Shine On" is the worst cross of R&B, Pop, and Rap since, like, ever?
"How do you know that Kim is here?" Ron asked, his panic level rising.
The prof began to open his mouth, but as he did, the lights in the warehouse went dark. After a couple of grunts and groans, the lights turned back on. Ron rubbed his eyes from the sudden loss and gain of light, and opened them back up to see who it was.
Kim!
"Kim Possible!" Dr. Drakken said. "Your only love is here... Run along! Be free! Begin your lives... as one!"
He was stuffed by Dementor, who clamped his hand over the strange-acting doctor's mouth.
"What he meant to say was... SHEGO, ATTACK!"
"Hey, Shorty!" The villainess shouted derisively. "I don't take orders from you," she said defiantly.
When the raven-haired woman saw that her rival was charging at her, she quickly changed her tune and took up a defensive stance. The redhead stopped, only to give her a warning.
"Get out of my way," The teen heroine said through gritted teeth.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Princess," The villainess replied.
There it was. The spectators have seen it before and were seeing it again. The rivalry. The eternal battle. Good versus Evil. Righteous versus Wicked. The strong, explosive Shego versus the intelligent, resourceful Kim. The sparks that would fly. The back-talking. The blows that were traded. It was quintessential. It was a classic. It was...
...Over already.
"Wow, Nineteen seconds," Dementor marveled as Drakken's henchmen literally peeled the raven-haired woman's motionless carcass off of the colder than cold ground.
"Where's Ron?" Kim asked calmly,but still intensely.
Her question was answered by two more henchmen coming at her. With relative ease, the rehead managed to sidestep the two bulky marauding men. With a quick trip, the first henchman went down like a rock. The second got much closer, enclosing the young womn in a bear hug. Unfortunately for him, her legs were still free. So with a well-placed heel to his... ball bearings, the second henchman could say goodbye to winning this battle... and the concept of having children for that matter.
"I'm not going to ask you again," She said to both Dementor and Drakken. The blue-skinned doctor was terrified. As for the professor... Well, he was defiant.
You see, he was running slightly less faster than Drakken to the exit.
"You want your sidekick? Then YOU CAN HAVE HIM!" He yelled. With a press of a button, the sidekick came stumbling out of his enclosure area.
'I'm free... Booyah!'
"Ron!" The redhead yelled as the blond came into her view. She almost skipped toward, when they met, Kim grabbed hold of the blond and pulled him into a tight oxygen-escaping embrace. Ron was definitely loving the fact that Kim wasn't mad at him anymore. But his ribs were going to snap in like, three seconds... and there was that mask...
"K-Kim," He stammered. "You gotta get this thing on my face."
Kim obliged by trying to pull the clear object off of his face, but to no avail. Right after that attempt, a faint beeping sound began to eminate from the mask.
"Uh, what's that?" Kim asked nervously.
"It's the mask!" Ron answered. "It's gonna explode if we don't find a way to get it off!"
The beeping sound continued as a timer showing exactly ninety seconds began to tick away. Kim tried anything so long at it didn't hurt her best friend. More pulling, more grabbing, no result. After forty-five seconds passed, Ron came up with an idea.
"Kim--I got an idea. Try to hit the mask!"
"No, Ron. That'll hurt you."
"K.P., it's a lot better than exploding into tiny pieces. You gotta do it!"
Kim was beginning to panic - Very much so, in fact.
"But what if it doesn't work? What if I don't hit it hard enough?"
"Kim, I know you'll hit it hard enough," He said calmly.
"How do you know?" Thirty seconds.
"Because I understand now, Kim. You've been avoiding me because you were ticked off at me because I didn't get the point."
Kim was speechless. She really was. Did Drakken and Shego give this boy some hints or something?
Ron worked his way out of the ropes on his hands.
"A-And now that I know how you feel, Kim. I think it would be best, for the both of us..." He took her hands, her eyes sparkling into his, and likewise.
"...If we stayed friends."
WHACK!
That, indeed was the sound of Kim's fist connecting with the blond's face. The sidekick went down like Disney stock. But more importantly, the clear mask/explosive cracked in two, which meant it posed no danger to Ron. The timer stopped at an uncharacteristic 0:04, everyone was safe.
Except for Ron, Kim thought, dragging away his unconscious body. He was still going to be in big trouble.
Well, once he woke up anyway.
The End...
Yep, the end...
The end of the fic.
Honest truth...
Disappointed?
So am I...
Yep, this is the End, beautiful friends...
Well, not really.
And now... S-Chrome presents the Super Mega Happy Angsty Happy Ending Version! Brought to you by Disney. Because, well... you know... They looove happy, sappy, cliched endings.
Ron woke up in... Where the heck was he?
OK, he was in his house. It was nighttime. Geez... He was out that long? And... his face hurt. Man, that girl had a nasty right hook. Speaking of that girl, she was right there.
"Good, you're awake," He heard his best friend say without enthusiasm. At a moment's notice, the redhead raised from the chair next to the couch where Ron was... Peacefully sleeping, and went out the door of his house.
Ron was confused... as usual. Why was she leaving? Where was she going? What was the deal? She looked pretty upset. He wracked his brain looking for answers, but none came to him. But as the door slammed, he remembered.
Just friends? What was he thinking?
Oops.
"Kim, Wait!" He yelled, running out the door.
Total rejection.
Kim had never quite felt this feeling before. Heck, it didn't feel a third as bad with when she and Josh broke up. But this was Ron. Her best friend of over a decade. Her admittedly cute sidekick. Her six month crush. Her... Ronnie-Ron
All of a sudden, the redhead had wished that the blond had stayed oblivious to her feelings. Maybe she should have ignored the butterflies. Maybe she shouldn't have dropped all those hints for him. Maybe... Just, maybe Raven was a... tad overweight.
Maybe she didn't know that Ron was practically doing three months worth of exercise running after her.
The blond had run three blocks searching when Rufus pointed her out. She was down the block. Stoppable ignored the fact that he was in brutally cold weather wearing a short-sleeved T-Shirt, he still ran, ran...
Raaaaan for loooooove!
He was still half a block behind her when his thoughts about the today's shenanigans came back to him. Even though Doctor D sounded like a total maniac, what he as saying was true. Kim was the only girl that he knew of that could actually stand his oh-so obvious flaws... and she really may have liked him. It was almost as if...
"Ron Stoppable, you're the best."
"Kim and Ron. Sounds good to me.'
"Come on, Ron. You know I can't stay mad at you."
Oh my goodness gracious!
It wasn't just a crush.
It was bigger than that.
"Kiiiiim, Wait!" He whined as he began to run toward her.
This made the attractive redhead stop. She looked miserable, the dried streaks upon her face had suggested that she'd been crying. She waited for the blond to run up to her. He panted for a couple seconds. Four blocks straight... Then began to speak.
"What do you want, Ron?" Kim asked plaintively.
"Kim.. I'm totally sorry about what I said. It was an honest mistake. I don't know why I said it..."
Another apology? Geez...Before they could go any further, she had to know the truth.
"Ron... Just told me. Before you got... captured, did you really know how I felt about you?"
"Uh... Well... Yes, and No. I guess the thing was that I knew, but didn't want to believe it."
"Why?" Asked Kim.
"I didn't want to believe that a pretty girl that also happened to be my best friend liked me that way."
"Why not?"
"Uh, Well Kim... Ever since you became the girl who could do anything, I never thought I was good enough to be your best friend, and after what I said this afternoon, well... uh, now I know," He said sadly. His shoulders slumping in defeat. :...You know what, Kim? I'll just go now... I know you don't want to hear any more of this."
Just like that, Ron turned away. What were the chances of Kim forgiving him again? He had enough chances, or so he thought. She would find someone better than him one of these days.
"Hey, Rufus," He asked forlornly. "You think Kim will ever forgive me?"
Before he could even get the entire question out, he was almost tackled from behind. Who the heck attacked him? Was it the bad guys again coming to make good on their threat? Why was his or her arms still around him? All he had to do was turn around to see who it was.
Kim?
Seriously?
He was going to speak, but the redhead placed a finger to his lips.
"You think I'm going to give up on you that easily?" She asked smirking.
"Uh... Well..."
"Look, Ron. I'm just going to go ahead and tell you. I like you... I like you a lot. And... for the last six months, I've been trying to get close to you."
"But, we're already close, right?"
"Well, Yeah. But I mean close in a different way..."
For once in a long time, Ron actually got it.
"Oh!" He said. Now was his chance.
"And uh, what I said this afternoon, I didn't really mean it."
"You didn't? Then why did you say it?"
Ron replied with a grin on his face.
"You wouldn't hit me that hard if I didn't say it."
Kim grinned right back.
"So that means..."
"You bet, K.P.," He finished. "So, would you do me the incredible honor of..."
He paused.
"...Being my girlfriend?"
"Si. I mean, Oui. No... No. I mean, Yes, Yes, Yes!" She exclaimed, squeezing the blond tightly. After they broke the embrace, the redhead gazed longingly into the blond's eyes.
"Ron, aren't you forgetting something?"
"Huh? Ohhh! Yeah, I'm sorry about your CD. I didn't know the song was about me."
"That's not it, Ron."
"Uh... Sorry I made you wait for six months?"
"No that's still not it, Ron. Besides, you're worth it."
"What am I forgetting, then?"
"It involves the lips," She said, grinning mischievously.
"Ohhh... Singing! Sorry about ragging on Christy. You two sound a lot alike. Which may be good or bad..."
Kim sighed, how clear did she have to make this?
"Ron... Less yakking, more lip smacking."
"...Then again, maybe you can project your voice to sound less like her. Either way I think--"
That did it.
Pulling the still oblivious young man inches close to her, Kim made her point short, sweet, and to the point... For once.
"Kiss me, Ron. Now!"
"Ohhhh... Well, you don't have to tell me twice," Ron replied with a grin.
The teen heroine rolled her eyes before closing the distance between herself and her crush... No, boyfriend. The blond's eyes rolled back in his head in obvious pleasure. Kim was seeing stars, fireworks and things of that nature... Their first official kiss as a couple, and it felt like heaven mixed with nachos... She closed her eyes and let cleared her thoughts. Who knows what was next for the young couple. All that she knew now is that now, finally, they were both on the same page.
Uh... Right?
The green-clad henchwoman had finally woke up -- and almost yelled on contact.
Why the heck was Drakken right next to her?
And why did he look so concerned?
"Shego, I'm so glad that you are awake," He said.
"So am I," She replied sarcastically. "What's up with the bedside vigil?"
"Well, Shego. I felt really guilty about what happened earlier."
"Uh, Doctor D. I'm the hench-girl, that's what I'm supposed to do."
"Well, I still feel guilty about it. Hopefully, you can forgive me with an all-expenses-paid, two week vacation starting now?"
Seriously?
Wow. Whatever it was that had Drakken feeling bad about her she needed to have more of.
"Gosh. Thanks, Doctor D," She said appreciatively. "And... What's gotten into you?"
"Shego, I... I can't say how I feel right now. But...," He paused, pulling an object out from his pocket. "...This will explain it more clearly."
He gave her CD Player with an unmarked compact disc inside.
"Go on. Take a listen," He said encouragingly.
Pressing the play button, the villainess began to hear the song. It was familiar to her in some way, but then the kicker came. Her eyes shot open a moment as she took a glance at the doctor. As she looked, the song continued...
Could it be, you and I, never imagined
Could it be, suddenly, I'm falling for you?
'Oh no,' Shego thought frantically.
Could it be that you were right here beside me
And I never knew?
Could it be that it's true that it's you?
"Oh, hell no..."
The Real End
Closing Statements: There you are ladies and gentlemen, Situation Oblivious. Would you believe that in the beginning this was supposed to be just a one-shot with about 2500 words? Good, me neither.
I originally did not have the ending like this. But the Greek God of Fluff and Angst, Fluffagis, commanded me to do so. And when the Fluff God calls, you must accept the charges.
And before I go, Ms. Romano is pretty bad at singing, but nothing against her. But McCartney... Oh, I'd like to SMACK that kid, and again, and...
Ahem...
Uh... Review. Comment. And... You had BETTER have had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. Or ELSE!
...and whatnot.
S-Chrome