AN: All the usual copyright stuff...Okay, this does take place at the same time as Robinl1278's story What If I Said...I hope this doesn't seem like I'm stealing an idea, but this issomething that's been rattling around in my brain for a while now. This is my first fanfic I've put out for review...so here goes.
When she thought of meeting him again, face to face in the sober light of day, a nervous tingling emberassment that carried with it an exciting pleasure enveloped her.
"I'm as nervous as a bride," she thought. "And about Rhett!" And, at the idea, she fell to giggling foolishly.
-Gone With the Wind, pg 941
Scarlett jumped from her bed, unwilling to wait any longer. An unrecognized desire pushed her on as she threw her wrapper on and rushed down the hall to Rhett's room. She had not even thought to be nervous until her hand was grasping the door knob. Her hand jerked back, her mind suddenly aware that she had no idea what she would say. That she missed him? Or that she was angry with him? No, she was not angry. She was curious and confused and Rhett always seemed to have answers. She took a deep breath, smoothed back her hair and grabbed the door knob again. Her own shock matched Rhett's as he opened the door, pulling her forward in a graceless stumble.
"Where are you going?" Scarlett managed after regaining her stance and noticing he was fully dressed, hat in hand.
"Would you like me to tell you the truth or would you rather have a comforting lie?"
"Why would you…oh!" All of Scarlett's earlier chaotic thoughts came to an abrupt stop and anger swept through her. He meant he was going to Belle Watling's, and right after he had been with her.
"So it seems the wife isn't always the last to know. I suppose you alsoknow then, that since you and Mr. Wilkes decided on our sleeping arrangements, I have found the Saloon to be much more welcoming than my own home."
"How dare you! How dare you go to her after…after…"
"Oh, that. My apologies, for, as I'm sure you observed, I was very drunk and you were very…appealing."
"Just as appealing as your whore I suppose!" Scarlett spat back, relishing at the small victory in the flash of anger that crossed Rhett's face at her accurate naming of Mrs. Watling.
"I've never yet hit a woman, but by God if you-"
"Go ahead! I'd rather you just hit me if you want to hurt me! At least then I can be certain of your intentions. It becomes a little confusing when you preface your abuse with professions of love," Scarlett finished, forcing her voice into a calmer tone. She hated how he baited her into screaming.
"My abuses? I do recall you-er-crying out, but I had thought it was of a different nature. You'll have to forgive me if I was a little rough with you," Rhett taunted with his most leering grin.
"I didn't mean that, you nasty cad. If you could get your mind out of the gutter long enough to-"
"To comprehend you moral indignation? Or your besmirched honor? You'll have a hard time making a valid case for either with me, regardless of where my mind is. You were purring like a cat when I slipped out, so save me the lecture."
Scarlett's mouth flopped open in shock at his audacity. He had not meant it when he said he loved her and now he sat here taunting her with how willingly she had surrendered last night. She had been nothing more than a body to use and now he was off to find another. Out of fear that he might see her thoughts written so plainly on her face and the tears that were beginning to prick her eyes, Scarlett turned and marched back towards her room. Rhett's smirkfell as his keen eyes caughtafleeting view of Scarlett's contorted face. Hebegan to chase after her, but stopped short at the sound of a tiny voice coming from behind him.
"Daddy!"
"Well there you are!" Rhett replied, bending down to her, "Come give me a hug."
Bonnie tottered towards him and briefly allowed him a hug before wriggling from his grasp.
"Where are you going?" Bonnie asked, sounding unnervingly like her mother had a few minutes ago.
"I'm going to buy lots of presents for my best sweetheart."
"And some for Mother?"
Rhett laughed off Bonnie's comment.
"It might mean less presents for you."
"Oh," Bonnie paused, a little frown on her face, "Just one or two."
"I'll tell you what? Why don't you come with me? Then you can say the present's from you."
Bonnie's face lit up and she ran back down to her room. Rhett looked after his daughter with an amused grin.
Scarlett spent the rest of morning in bed, feeling numb for the first time since the war. It irked her that she should be this upset over something Rhett had done, but the memory of last night was too vivid to be easily pushed aside. She never wanted to let go of that feeling of life and vitality, it was so intoxicating to her. Yes, it was the most unladylike thing she had ever donebut Scarlett craved more and knew Rhett was the only possible way to get what she wanted. It was funny how often that was the case, he had so many things no one else did. Not even Ashley brought out such a torrent of emotion in her. It occurred to her with some amount of displeasure that if she were ever to be with Ashley, she would have to give up that rush she felt with Rhett. She was quitecertain Ashley never did those things with Melanie and possibly did not even know how to do them. But, like most unpleasant things she encountered, Scarlett simply left that thought alone.
Her reverie was broken by a soft knock on her door. Without waiting for an answer, Bonnie burst in clutching a brown package.
"Bonnie!" Scarlett exclaimed, holding her arms out to the flurry of blue ribbons and black curls flying at her. She lifted her daughter up onto the bed next to her.
"It's for you," Bonnie explained, handing the package over.
Scarlett delicately untied the ribbon holding together the paper to reveal a dark green shawl.
"It's beautiful, baby. Did you get it just for me?"
"Daddy bought it, but I picked it."
"Of course you did," Scarlett affirmed, giving Bonnie a quick hug, "And it's perfect."
"It matches," Bonnie said, pointing to Scarlett's eyes.
Scarlett laughed and wrapped the shawl around her head. She looked up to see Rhett leaning against the doorframe. Knowing how the green fabric around her head must be setting off her eyes, Scarlett threw him a flirtatious smile, uncaring of what he had said earlier. If anything, she would prove that her charm was ten times that of a common whore.
"Thank you, precious," Scarlett whispered, kissing Bonnie's cheek. The little girl leapt down off the bed and ran back to her father, who handed her a doll he had been patiently holding. She clutched it possessively and disappeared down the hall.
"Change of plans?" Scarlett called to Rhett.
"Our daughter is not one to be denied what she wants. And today she wanted presents."
"Has she got enough toys already?"
"Yes, but today was a special day for buying presents. She wanted to get some for her mother also and I think it best to encourage the few selfless urges she has. I was a little shocked at her willingness to give up a couple presents so that you might have some."
"Really? She wanted that?"
"Yes, but her attention span in the store limited her to only picking one thing out for you."
Scarlett smiled approvingly.
"She certainly has good taste for a five year old."
"The choosing was entirely hers. And even so, I would have bought the most hideous thing in the store if she'd pointed to it instead."
"Why do you spoil her so?" Scarlett asked without any hint of malice or anger, just curiousity.
"Do you mean to ask why I now spoil her instead of you?" Rhett did not wait for a response, but continued, "There's very little satisfaction in spoiling and petting someone who has no respect for or want of you. That little girl loves me and I daresay that's much less than I could hope to get out of you."
"How do you know I wouldn't. I just might if you were half as nice to me as you are to her."
"Oh, but you forget our marriage before Bonnie. I did everything in my power to drive the thought of Ashley Wilkes from your head, but you remain doggedly devoted to him. So, I see no reason to try and endear myself to you when you so obviously don't care."
"But I do care! You're just so nasty half the time that it's simply impossible to bother with you. Like this morning. If you hadn't brought up that woman we might have had a nice little make up, but you just had to say those hateful things. And I'm sure now that you've spent time with Bonnie, you'll be on your way."
"Actually, I was planning on staying around long enough to give you this," Rhett replied, pulling a small velvet box from his coat pocket. He crossed the room and stopped beside her bed, towering over her.
Scarlett cautiously took the box and eased it open. An enormous diamond brooch glimmered in between layers of satin.
"It's to hold your wrapper closed better, should you feel it necessary," Rhett explained.
"Is this meant as some kind of peace offering?" Scarlett teased.
"Perhaps, if you'd like a little peace. Otherwise, it will help in keeping your, er, feminine modesty, in tact."
"It's hard to imagine living with you ever being peaceful...better than this, certainly, but peaceful is a stretch."
Rhett knelt andplaced a hand on Scarlett's cheek, gently tilting her face up.
"If you can promise to give this, us, half a chance, meaning you leave Mr. Wilkes out of our marriage, I won't set foot in Belle's again."
Scarlett could only nod, surprised, as always, by Rhett's infrequent tenderness. Rhett's arms pulled Scarlett in a tight embrace, his lips buried in her hair. Despite a nagging in the back of her mind, Scarlett relaxed in his arms and let her head fall against his chest. It had been so long since she had him to lean on. She remembered the nights during their honeymoon when he had so tenderly woken her from her nightmares.
"I've missed you," she murmured.
Her thoughts slipped into an uncommon peace as Rhett rubbed her back and whispered incoherently. It did not matter to Scarlett what oaths or confessions he might have been making, so long as he kept holding her like this. One question, however lightly he may have phrased it, broke into her reverie.
"Do you think its possible your fondness for me may be growing?"
She made no real response, only let out a sigh, but her mind reeled at the concept. When was the last time she had thought of Ashley like she was used to? A week or two, a month maybe? Yesterday at the mill, when she only looked to him as an old friend, had seemed so much more natural than all her years of love. Was it really love? Scarlett struggled in vain to bring to mind his drowsy gray eyes and listless smile, but all she could see now was the darkness and intensity of Rhett's. Her head began to ache with confusion.
"Kiss me," she whispered, pulling her head back and closing her eyes. Rhett obliged and within seconds, all her swirling thoughts stopped. The ache subsided as she slipped into the dizziness that accompanies all his kisses. It was the sheer strength of him that amazed her. She wanted to drown in it and forget anything else existed. Yes, she would drown in it now and think about just what it meant later.