Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or any of the characters, except my original characters.

Author's note: This happens right after 'Gum Drops' and eventually up to and past "A Bullet Runs Through It'—I think.

Chapter 1

She stood, eyes closed, with her face only a couple inches from the mirror. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks, but didn't want to see them. She didn't want to see her own face. It had all become so hard.

It had been two months since she had been cleared of murder charges, but Alex Hart still had nightmares. It had been too easy for her to be framed, for those around her to believe she might have actually done it. Of course, she knew, part of that was her fault; she had been less then forthcoming when it came to her past. But still, her now ex-boyfriend, her father, had actually started to think she had done it. Only one person really believed in her innocence—Nick Stokes.

However in the last two months, even Nick hadn't been much comfort. At first, he had tried to be a good friend to Alex, but it only caused more problems for him at the lab with Greg Sanders, Alex's ex-boyfriend. She had decided she didn't want to cause anyone any more problems and had been trying to keep her distance. It'd been two weeks since she last saw Nick.

She let out a sob, bracing herself against the sink. She wanted to share her pain with someone, but there was no one. Sure, she and her father, Gil Grissom, had made amends, but Gil was still a mystery. They would go out for dinner, but would almost never get to finish. He was always getting called away for one thing or another. She was beginning to feel like a burden. But it wasn't like she could tell him that; he wasn't exactly Mr. Touchy-Feely. He could carry on a wonderful conversation about almost anything except his feelings—or anyone else's for that matter.

She let out another sob. This is where Greg would normally come in; he had always known how to comfort her. It was two months after their break up and Alex still wasn't quite over him. They had been such good friends, gotten along so well. She was sure they had been meant for each other, but now she knew she was wrong. He, on the other hand, wasn't as sure. He still called occasionally, which only cause her more pain.

Her heart was heavy with sadness. She opened her eyes and slowly traced the light scar on her cheek. The scar is where it all started. Almost losing her life had cost Alex so much. She sometimes wished it hadn't been almost—she wished Sean Martin had actually done the job properly. Then she wouldn't be here, jobless, friendless, and hopeless.

She grabbed some bottles of pills from her medicine cabinet and walked into her bedroom. The bottle of vodka was already sitting on her nightstand. She placed the pills next to the vodka and sat on the edge of the bed.

She wrung her hands. She wasn't sure if she could do this, but she was even less sure if she could face another day. And ultimately, the desire for the pain to end won out. She swallowed a few handfuls of pills, which she washed down with some vodka. Then she lie down and shut her eyes, praying whatever waited for her was better than this.

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Nick Stokes walked out of the hospital and into the sunlight. He had spent the last few hours talking to Cassie. His heart soared, knowing he had found her and he wanted to share his elation with someone. He wanted to share it with Alex.

He knew he probably shouldn't go over. She had asked for space because she thought she was causing problems between him and Greg. And Nick had obliged for the last two weeks, but it was killing him. If it were up to him, he'd choose Alex over Greg any day of the week. While he hated to lose Greg as a friend, he knew he'd never meet anyone like Alex again. He smiled thinking about her smile.

He jumped in his car and drove to Alex's apartment. As he pulled into the parking lot, a grin crept across his face. Just knowing he was near her was enough to make him smile.

He knocked on the door and waited. He figured she had to be home. Her car was in its usual spot. But no one answered, so he knocked again.

This time while waiting, he heard the phone ring. It only rang twice before it stopped. He knew for sure that someone was inside now; her phone rang four times before the machine picked up. He heard what sounded like glass breaking as it hit the floor. He knocked again, this time calling her name as well.

"Alex," he yelled through the door, a little concerned. Still no answer.

He reached down to try the door handle. Last time she had been in trouble in her apartment, fate had allowed the door to be unlocked. He hoped it would once again be so. But this time, he had no luck; the door was locked.

He knocked again. "Alex, are you alright?"

He heard another noise from inside and had a feeling that something wasn't right. "Alex, open the door or I'm breaking the door down."

Inside the apartment Alex was angry. She didn't understand why no one would just let her sleep in peace. First the phone and now Nick. All she wanted was to rest forever. She only hoped by the time Nick got the door open, it would be too late.

Nick's worry had taken over. He gave the door a few swift kicks to the lock area and it opened. God was looking out for her; Alex had forgotten to set the dead bolt.

He rushed into the apartment, calling out to her, "Alex, where are you?"

He searched until he found her lying semi-conscious on her bed. He saw the broken vodka bottle on the floor and a few of the pill bottles on the nightstand. His heart almost collapsed and tears started to build.

He hurried to her side. "Alex, Alex can you hear me?" His voice was shaky as he tried to sit her up.

Alex's eyes fluttered open a little. He was relieved she was still alive.

"What have you taken?" Nick asked her, trying to get a response. He couldn't tell from the bottles; the labels had been removed.

She opened her eyes a little. "My life," she responded in just above a whisper.

He started to reach for the phone to call an ambulance, but worried one wouldn't get here in time. He knew he still had his police light in his car and decided he could get her to the hospital quicker than an ambulance could get here. He picked her up and started to carry her out to the car.

"Please don't," she begged, trying to fight him but she could barely move. "Please let me die."

Tears slid down Nick's cheeks and his heart nearly stopped when her heard those words escape her lips. He couldn't believe she felt so hopeless. He knew he shouldn't have honored her wish to stay away. He should have come by; he could have prevented this. He was done honoring her wishes.

He put her in the passenger seat and did his best to strap her in. He then jumped in the driver's seat and sped to the hospital. He called on the way so they would be prepared for her. He wasn't going to let her die, not like this.