Disclaimer: I do not own RENT or any characters related to it. It belongs to Jonathan Larson. Thank you, Jon.
Author's Note: This is a very personal piece for me... I just thought I'd say that. For anyone going through trying to stop using or cutting, or anyone who has a friend trying to stop, I dedicate this to you, as well as to my girls, who have helped me through so much.
"I can't do this, Maur!" April screamed in frustration and threw her pillow in the direction of her best friend's head. Maureen deflected the pillow and watched silently as April raged. "You fucking go through my stuff, take what isn't yours... you had no right! No fucking right!"
"I'm just trying to help, Apr--"
"I don't want your fucking help!" April shouted, cutting off Maureen's quiet plea and throwing Roger's pillow at her. "Give my stuff back! It's not your life, it's not your stuff, so fucking give it back!"
"No!" Maureen shouted back at April, who stopped shouting to glower at her. "You're my friend, April, and I won't let you do this to yourself!" she fought back tears as she remembered the smack, the needles, the razor blades that she had found, and the track marks and crisscrossing lines of red on April's arms.
"It's my life, Maureen!"
"You'd do the same thing if it were any of us!" Maureen yelled, causing April's mouth to snap shut. "You would, wouldn't you?"
"That... that has nothing to do with this." April's anger was faltering, and Maureen's had suddenly strengthened.
"Just answer me this, and if the answer's no I'll give you the fucking stuff back and leave you alone." Maureen snapped. April was silent, and Maureen pressed on. "If it was me, wouldn't you be doing the exact same thing?"
"I..." April stood there for a moment, unable to say anything, then suddenly her face crumpled, and she sank to the floor as if she'd been deflated of all will to stay upright. Maureen rushed to her and crouched down next to her. "Yes." April whispered, and started sobbing. Maureen wrapped her arms around the older girl and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Shh... it's okay, sweetie, it's okay..." Maureen whispered as April sobbed into her shoulder.
"I can't do this..." April managed to sob out. "It just hurts so bad..."
"I know..." Maureen grimaced, holding back tears of her own for when April was asleep. "Just hold on a little longer, honey. You'll make it through this."
"I can't..." April whimpered.
"Yes you can." Maureen insisted. "You will. I promise."