Written: 22 November 2005
Posted:
29 November 2005, rev. 0.2. Formatting fixes, really, and 'blessings' changed to 'rewards.'
Category: Drama.
Summary: Kenshin's
father Hideiki contemplates his bitterness and gratitude towards
Hiko. Fifth in the Adoption sequence.
Disclaimer: The
characters and story of Rurouni Kenshin are the property of Nobuhiro
Watsuki, Shonen Jump, et al. Used without permission. This
work is for entertainment only, and no profit is intended. The
original character Himura Hideiki is my own creation.
Sorrow's
Rewards
You think inheriting insanity from your
kids is tough? Hell of a lot better than catching sorrow from them,
let me tell you.
And don't hand me that moan-and-groan routine about suffering through raising the kid. Your heart's about as hard as mochi, Hiko-san, and don't think I'm going to buy that façade of put-upon arrogance. Anybody who knows anything about Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu knows that the essence of the school is compassion. How the hell else do you spend your life in defense of others, and ultimately give your life so the school can go on? And yes, I do know: it's not my school, but swords are my business and my passion. Well, they were, when I still drew breath.
I'll grant you're clever about disguising that compassion behind your bloody "justified arrogance," but don't try to sell a bill of goods to a Shanghai merchant. It'll get you hot and sweaty with nary a bit of profit to show for your effort.
Oh, inheriting sorrow from the offspring? That's what happens when your sword-and-brush hand gets crushed by a tumbling oxcart. Right then and there you've put paid to the bodyguarding jobs, the freelance troop training, most of the teaching work, and all of the scribe work. Within three months, your family is making do on rice and weak tea, or rice and rice hull tea, and whether or not they'll even have that on any given day is very much a question. Yes, I like growing things, but January is not a good month to set out a garden, so I couldn't even grow a few greens for them. The situation is not improved as you watch your 6-year-old son's eyes seem to grow huge in an ever-more gaunt face. What makes it worse is watching as your too-tiny wife quietly and resolutely sacrifices her own rations, her strength, and ultimately her health so your son can eat and live, if not thrive. Do that, knowing that you have no way to provide better for either of them. You'll pray to every kami you can name for the solace of catching insanity from your child.
Ah, dammit, that's what bothers me most, you know. You've done a bloody good job of raising him, even if he is far too much like his mother to know it. You've given him no pity nor occasion to use his losses as an excuse to be a lesser man. You gave him a new name, and made him look forward to what he could become, not back to what he could not have. You've brought my little one out of the shadows of his nightmares into the light of shelter and love (please don't bother with the bill of goods about "training the deshi." Like I said, I'm not buying—you love the kid). And you've nurtured his stubbornness, and kindness, and innocence, and brought up a fine young man.
It kills me, and it blesses me.
Oh hell, I just want to sit down and share a jug of sake with you. And maybe whack you on the back of your head and suggest that you consider what having him has done for you.
And I want to quietly plead that you let him know that, because I can never hold him, or tell him how proud he's made me, or tease him about his literal-mindedness (by Bishamonten's beard, he is his mother's son). Nor will I ever tease him about his first crush, or be there when he needs an ally, or teach him to roast game birds over a fire.
Hiko, cherish your rewards that stem from my sorrows.
And know that you have my thanks, no matter how wrapped in bitterness they may seem.
Owari Author's
note:
As for how
this story came about—Kenshin and his family are pretty mouthy, let
me tell you. After I read Volume 20 of the manga, Himura Hideiki,
Kenshin's father, made it known that he had a few words for Hiko.
Although Hideiki seems to have lived most of his life as a
mischievous, adventurous swordsman, he let me know that he felt what
he considered to be his failure to provide for his family very
deeply, and was simultaneously grateful to, and jealous of, Hiko for
taking in Shinta. He was not impressed by Hiko's grouching in
Adoption II, either. So, he dictated Adoption
V. Glossary Bishamonten
Kami
Spirit-being, god, avatar
Mochi Confections made
from pounded, sweetened rice flour