Not Dreaming

Summary: A lonely night, a bridge and a swan...and oh so much more. Future Literati.

A/N: This could probably be considered a continuation from 6x08, but in an AU sort of way. It is an experiment to see who is right. Me or someone else. It's the first story I've written in about six years that has both a beginning and an end. So, just to see if it totally sucks I'm putting it up here.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.

Prologue. The Bridge

As she once again sat down on the bridge she could almost feel him sitting down beside her. His touch on her arm, his breath on her neck as he kissed her softly. His arms snaking around her waist as he enveloped her in a tight embrace. She looked down into the water and for a second she thought she saw his reflection next to hers. His unruly dark hair, the smirk playing on his lips and the playful glint in his eyes lingered in her mind for a second.

She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. That was why she had come here in the first place, to feel his presence. It was always strong here, had always been, ever since the picnic when he brought her here for the first time. A smile played at her lips at the memory of that day, so long ago.

She looked out over the water and couldn't hold back a small laugh as she saw a swan gracefully swimming at the far end of the lake. She remembered the look in his eyes as he finally told her the truth about his black eye. A mix of relief, guilt and embarrassment that swiftly turned into indignation as she had broken her promise not to laugh. She blushed slightly at the memory of the following events that night.

She sighed again as her mind returned to the present. She wished she didn't feel so lonely sitting there, wished he sat beside her.

The sun was setting and it covered everything in a soft red glow. She looked on, awed by the beauty of the place. She felt a tear roll down her cheek and silently cursed herself for being so silly. He had left less than two days ago and already she was turning into an emotional wreck.

She used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the tears away as her eyes once again found the swan. It was closer now. "Is this how it's going to be?" she asked the swan and laughed softly at herself for expecting an answer.

She let her mind wander again and found herself thinking of the last time he had showed up completely out of the blue and once again turned her world upside down. She had been stunned for a moment and a bit startled at how happy she was to see him. It had after all been over a year since they last saw each other and she hadn't expected to ever see him again after how things ended then. But there he was, looking better than ever, and she had felt her heart jump involuntary.

She had been so proud of him when he had showed her the reason for his visit. And she had been curiously excited about spending the next night with him. She had wanted to find out everything about his new life.

Things hadn't exactly gone well that night, starting with Logan showing up. She shuddered at the memory of what expired during dinner.

He had left early that night with a 'happy birthday', half a promise to catch up later and a sad smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. But only after questioning her whole life at the moment. She had been overwhelmed, but at the same time relieved that someone finally shook her out of whatever funk she had been in for so long.

Later had proved to be a lot earlier than she expected as he showed up at Luke's for Thanksgiving. He had looked stunned to see her sitting at the counter, happily sipping coffee with Lorelai as if she had never left. But he had quickly recovered and flashed her a smile that made her knees weak.

That had only lead to surprise number two that day, namely Lorelai rushing up from her stool and giving him a hug. Before he could decide how to respond she had seemed to realize what she was doing and let go of him. "This never happened", she told him and returned to her former position, ignoring the stares from the other occupants of the diner.

Looking out over the now dark lake she laughed as she once again saw his shocked expression. That had been the beginning to them reviving their friendship and eventually their relationship. It had taken a while and there had been more than a few bumps in the road, but it had definitely been worth it.

Her eyes once again found the swan. It was even closer now, almost by the bridge, a white shadow in a fast darkening world. She felt oddly comforted by its presence; it somehow made her feel less alone.

Despite that, she once again felt tears forming in her eyes and she sighed to herself. This was supposed to be a happy trip and now she had spent the majority of the past two days alone on the bridge trying not to cry. She had avoided the townspeople as much as possible and hardly even talked to her mom.

Five days earlier she had run around their apartment, driving him crazy trying to remember everything she would need on the trip. He had finally agreed to come with her to Stars Hollow for a vacation and she had been ecstatic and started packing at once. He had watched as she alternated between picking up, tossing away, crossing out and at times packing random things in suitcases. And he had done so with an amused smirk on his face, a smirk that grew wider the more frantic she became until she couldn't take it anymore. She had stopped right in front of him and demanded that he either wiped the smirk away or helped her pack. He had opted for pulling her close to him and kissing her softly. She hadn't needed a lot of persuasion to forget the packing for the reminder of the night.

And now she was here alone after all. Granted, it was not by choice, but that didn't make her feel less lonely. It was strange how used she had been to always have him around whenever she needed him. And now he was god knows where on a business trip. She had trouble holding back a smirk of her own at the thought of him going on a business trip. The concept still felt odd to her. But it didn't change the fact that he wasn't there with her.

And it didn't change the fact that she hadn't been able to tell him the news before he left. She had wanted to tell him as soon as she found out, but she didn't want to do it in a hurry. So she had opted to wait until he came back. He shouldn't be gone more than four days, five at the most. But now, as she sat here, her only company a silent swan, she started to regret her decision. She wanted him to know and be happy with her.

And he would be happy, she knew that. At that thought her face brightened instantly and a soft smile graced her features. She got lost in her thoughts and sat there smiling softly as the sun finally went down and the darkness enveloped her. She didn't hear the footsteps approaching or feel the bridge tremor softly as someone walked over to her.

He approached the bridge silently, trying not to disturb her. He stood in the shadows and watched her for a minute before continuing on his way. She looked happy sitting there with a smile playing on her lips and a far away look in her eyes. He wondered briefly what she was thinking about, but smiled at the thought that he would probably find out soon.

He continued on his way and soon found himself standing right behind her. She had yet to notice him and he smiled to himself as he slowly sat down behind her, leaned in and snaked his arms around her.

Her mind was suddenly thrown back to reality as she felt someone sit down behind her. It took her half a second to realize who it was and then she felt his arms wrap around her. She sighed contentedly and let herself lean back against him

"Hey beautiful, miss me?" he whispered in her ear and she shivered at the sensation of his breath on her neck.

"I'm not dreaming again, am I?" she asked him, a hint of worry in her voice.

He kissed her neck lightly and got a soft moan in response. "I couldn't stay away," he told her as he moved his way up to her ear.

"Good, 'cause we really missed you," she told him and moved his hands to her stomach. She held her breath and waited for his reaction.

At first it didn't seem like he had heard her, but then she felt him tense. He inhaled sharply and then relaxed a bit again. "Are you… You mean… Are we…?" he stammered, not able to get the crucial part of the sentence out.

She turned her head to look at him and smiled brightly at the goofy grin that had taken over his face. "Yes," she simply told him and reached up to kiss him on the cheek. She turned back to the lake, closed her eyes and snuggled further into his chest again.

He wrapped one of his arms tightly around her and rested his other hand on her stomach, rubbing his thumb lightly over it. He kissed the top of her head and let out a breath. He looked out over the lake and spotted the swan not far away.

"I love you," he told her softly and watched the swan swim away as she reached up a hand and lightly tangled her fingers in the dark curls at his neck.