Title: It's Not Purple… It's Violet!
Date: November 20, 2005
Authoress: Urchin Power
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story.
Category: Humour/Romance
Summary: A double date! In which Tezuka can read Yuuta's potty mouth POV, Fuji can't stand purple when Mizuki insists that it's violet, and Atobe's a plain stalker.
Note: This story is kind of plotless… Just some random… stuff. I am so sorry that I'm killing your brain cells! Well! I hope you all have fun reading this!

It's Not Purple… It's Violet!

It was all Fuji Syusuke's fault.

He thought it would be cute to go on a double date with his beloved otouto. And perhaps that was his true motive. However, if one truly knew Fuji they'd say that he's an overly protective brother. Not that that was a problem. Unless he attempted to murder the object of young Yuuta's affections… Not that he never tried. Least to say Fuji was disappointed in his success rate.

Mizuki Hajime just bothered him…

…With the lurid hair twirling…

…And all the purple…

Presently the group of four found themselves seated in one of the secluded corner booths of a nearby café. Yuuta was staring out the window with a facial expression that suggested he was searching for an escape route. Next to him, Mizuki was chuckling to himself while twirling strands of hair around his index finger. Across from the chuckling teen was Fuji who hadn't even touched his drink and currently had his eyes open glaring at the purple monster.

…And since this was a double date, a bored looking Tezuka Kunimitsu was dragged into this whole scene. Not that he minded. He especially liked a warm mug of foaming cappuccino on chilly days. And this café made them just right.

I am so bored.

No… I am beyond bored.

It feels like death came early, but was just too lazy to finish me off.

Whose idea was this again? Oh right! Aniki! Somewhere deep down I knew that it was a bad idea to tell him about my current relationship with Hajime. I ignored my intuition, Yanagisawa and that little stuffed bunny that I like to sleep with called Uesagi-chan… I remember the day Yumiko-neesan gave it to me… so fluffy.

"Something wrong Tezuka?"

Sure the window was interesting to look at, but if Tezuka-san were chocking on his straw or something, it would be fun to watch. I turn my head towards the table to see aniki hovering over his tight-ass buchou. I don't know what the hell is wrong with him, but he spluttered again. He looks sort of offended if anything…

Whatever… What was I thinking again? Right, Uesagi-chan! No… Aniki! I was thinking about aniki! So frustrating. It's like he can't go one minute without checking to see if I'm safe. If I went to the bathroom before leaving class so I won't miss any work. Then there was the time he took the bus from Seigaku and came running into my third period class with a water bottle, because he was scared I might get dehydrated from the heat wave. What the fuck was in that water bottle by the way? The mere smell burned away the hairs in my nostrils and it made my head spin. I can't remember drinking it because last I remember I woke up in the nurse's office with a pungent after-taste from hell. I just remember it being so blue…

"Aozu." This even caught Hajime's attention as he stopped twirling his hair, for once. Even aniki was staring curiously at Tezuka-san. What the hell was Aozu?

"A drink made by Seigaku's Inui." Weird. It's like Tezuka-san can read my mind. That's just plain freaky… But what's the possibility of that anyways?

"Ah… I remember your Inui. How's he doing? Obviously not as good as a data collector than me." Why does it seem like all the annoying people latch on to me? Well, maybe not as bad as Echizen's case… But at least his boyfriend is a brainless monkey rather than some perverted, cross-dressing pedophile.

"Saa… It's not like your data ever helped you." I swear it; aniki's picking a fight.

"How wrong you are Fuji-kun! As I recall-" No! No! Don't answer back! Okay… Deep breath Yuuta. Deep breath! You do not want to strangle Hajime. You don't want to be arrested at an early age and you want to celebrate your first month anniversary with him. Get married. Raised several children. On second thought… Uhg. I can't stand the thought of more Hajimes running around. It'll be like a sea of purple.

"After all, you don't seem to have any data on fashion. I don't believe it was ever the 'in' thing to wear an ugly purple shirt with… magenta rose prints." Not the purple conversation again!

"I agree."

Aniki seems quite confident with Tezuka-san backing him up like that… But I'm not sure whether it's me or something else… but I swear that Tezuka-san was talking to me when he said that. That's freakiness again. Whatever, it's not like he can read minds. It's sort of like Superman, except Superman can see through walls when Tezuka-san can see through your mind. Hm… I wonder if Superman's gay. If I had x-ray vision I'd spend all day in front of the girl's changing room… Too bad I go to an all boys school… Not that I need x-ray vision there. Yanagisawa has some strange fetish of running through the dorm corridors with his wang practically hanging out of his Ninja Turtle boxers. Maybe I should consider aniki's offer in transferring to Fudomine. One thing's for sure: I'd be less scarred.

"Saa… Are you feeling okay Tezuka?" Now that I look at it, Tezuka-san looks a little sick. Good thing for me. Since aniki's been dating that brick wall, he's stopped fussing over me every single minute of every single day. Not that the purple conversation's over. I don't know what it is, but they always end up with the purple.

"Bathroom." Finally! No offence to aniki's choice of boyfriends but Tezuka-san is just so dull. Yes, he's excellent at tennis and he's a good leader. But as a conversationalist? I'd rather listen to Nomura and Kabaji in a box. I hate Nomura. My name is Yuuta. Yuuta. That stupid four-eyed geek.

Speaking of which…

"That seat's taken." I hadn't realized when Atobe came in. Even since that match with Jirou, Atobe seems to have taken some sort of interest in aniki. What the hell is he wearing? If I had a crossword puzzle that asked for 'another five letter word for pimp', I'd say 'Atobe'. Even aniki looks disgusted, well more so than with Hajime's shirt. I suppose that's a good thing.

"Is Fuji awed by Ore-sama's prowess?" What the fuck is that smell? Before I had my nose burned out from that strange content in that water bottle aniki gave me, I had a good nose. It smells like toxic butt waste mixed with some strange flower and a hint of cinnamon. The worst thing is I'm not sure whether or not that smell is coming from his dead fur leopard spotted, feather rimmed purple coat or if he actually applied the stuff thinking it was some sort of cologne. Seriously! How many animals did it take to make that coat?

"No, I'm not." Aniki seriously looks sick. It looks like he's going to vomit any second… I wonder how he's still able to keep that smile on his face though.

"Hm… I like your coat. Where'd you get it?" You can't be serious Hajime! You actually like that purple animal Atobe's wearing? How the hell am I in love with him? How? I guess it's just going to be one of those unsolvable mysteries… like did aliens actually build the pyramids? Is it possible to sky dive while eating ice cream and not getting it all over your face? If you drop a penny from a high building onto someone located below, will it burn through them?

"No. Wind pushing against the walls of the tower or building will send the penny flying back up straight." Okay. This is too much of a coincidence. I swear that Tezuka-san can read minds… I wonder… Tezuka-san, if you can read my mind: aniki goes to bed naked and moans out your name in his sleep. "Bathroom!" Maybe not… That wasn't the reaction I was hoping for… like jumping aniki. I guess Tezuka-san must have stomach flu or something… Too much coffee can have different effects on people.

"Like Ore-sama will tell you. I had it specially designed to suit my taste. It's a one of a kind. Not that you could afford it if it weren't."

"We'll see about that… Anything wrong Yuuta-kun?" I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but to snort. Come on Hajime! You call that a come back? What is with lame conversations and guys in purple going hand in hand?

"It's nothing." And so Hajime is back to his hair twirling. I seriously wonder why he does it… Holy shit. Even I'm starting to get irritated by the whole purple thing. No wonder aniki's been super bitchy for the past week, he's practically surrounded by purple wherever he goes. It was like he was going through PMS or something. Hm… Aniki as a girl… I can definitely see it. I should go home after this… I still think that I have that photograph of him wearing Yumiko-neesan's slutty dress a few years ago.

"Tezuka? I anything wrong?" Oh. I didn't even realize that Tezuka-san came back from the bathroom. He does look like an interesting shade of red though… I wonder if he has a fever or something. I mean, how many times did he have to go to the bathroom?

"I'm fine."

"Oh! Tezuka, it's been a while since you've been under the radiance of Ore-sama!"

"Hn."

"Gomen Kuni-chan, but I tried to get him to move…"

"Don't call me that in public."

Atobe's dead animal is seriously toxic… I feel like passing out. This is ten times worst than the time Yanagisawa had a farting contest with himself in my room. It was the middle of winter and it was freezing outside, yet I was forced to leave my window open for practically a week. That's not all, when I went to classes I've been told that I smelt of ass. At least that traumatizing experience is over…

Oh… I'm done my drink. I'm wondering if I should order another one. It's really good… unlike the homemade soda that aniki makes… or any homemade thing aniki makes. Why am I so unlucky?

"It's violet Fuji-kun." Uh oh. Hajime's twirling his hair faster. That means he's pissed.

"It's purple, Mitsuki-kun." Aniki looks pissed off too… I can never tell when he's always smiling. And the name calling thing? That's getting really old. Find new ways to insult each other please!

"Ore-sama for once agrees with the ugly mortal. It's violet." Right… Atobe has a strange obsession with that colour too. I couldn't stop laughing when he invited himself over to obasan's funeral because aniki would be there. It was hilarious! The purple trench coat… Purple frill dress shirt… Purple leather pants…

"Is something funny Yuuta-kun?"

… Purple umbrella…

"Something must be... since Tezuka is also laughing."

… Purple-feathered hat…

"Ore-sama does not appreciate being ignored!"

… Purple sunglasses… Once he arrived it was no funeral. He turned the whole thing into a purple freak show. Oh! I forgot to mention the small purple dyed poodle he carried around! That was just a classic! My stomach hurts! Too much laughing! I think I'm going to explode…

"Ignore him."

"Aa."

"What were we discussing before?"

"How Ore-sama is ashamed to be seen in public with something as foul as you." Being Hajime's boyfriend, I should defend him from such comments… Do I make a bad boyfriend? I'll have to check that up on the Internet later… I'll do one of those online quizzes that'll tell me. Hm… While I'm at it I should do a 'Are you the seme or uke' test, or maybe the 'Is your aniki the seme or the uke in his relationship with a wall' test.

"Uke." Why the hell does Tezuka-san to that? I swear that when he just coughed it sounded just like 'uke'. I could be my imagination but… Shit, man! It's just too much of a coincidence.

"Yuuta-kun you've been quiet all day." Aw! Hajime's so caring…

"Tezuka? Are you catching a cough?"

"No."

"Aniki. Get me another drink." I'm so commanding! I bet for shit that I'm the seme in my relationship with Hajime. I have proof that I'm a true man too! As you can see from my family, more specifically siblings, Yumiko-neesan is my eldest sister. She is very much female. Like, she likes to wear the make-up, the skirts, etc. Then there's aniki. He is also female. Like, from time to time he likes to cross-dress and go out in public like that… he wears make-up… He fucking spends an hour every morning in the bathroom! What does he have to do in there? Brush your freaking teeth, wash your face, good you're done!

"Tezuka? Are you sure you're feeling well? You're heating up." Aniki is such a housewife. Did he order my drink yet?

"Aniki! So! Da! Soda!" Take forever will you?

"What was that? Saa… If you stop giving me midnight visits I wouldn't need to spend an hour in the bathroom... Ne? How do you know that I spend an hour there?" Okay. I don't like being ignored. Where's my fucking soda?

"Ore-sama is interrupting your conversation since it doesn't relate to yours truly." Atobe is such an egotistical pig. If placed next to Echizen he'd surely give the little brat a run for his money. "All in all, Fuji will meet Ore-sama here same time tomorrow and Ore-sama will show you how a real date's done." ... You know... I'm a Fuji too. Those assholes.

"Saa… Only if you get rid of your purple collection." And we're back to the purple. Where the hell is my soda?

"What do you expect Ore-sama to wear? Oh! You'd like to witness Ore-sama's prowess in all its glory!" He's not talking about his penis is he? That's disgusting.

"Ever think of wearing grey?" No offence, but I couldn't stay quiet. Atobe just… bothers me.

"Grey is too dull of a colour Fuji's otouto. Violet is the true colour of power." I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. I hate Atobe. My name is Fuji Yuuta. No. Just Yuuta is fine. Yuuta. My name is Yuuta! YUUTA!

"It's purple Atobe." For once I agree with aniki.

"Violet." Just shut the fuck up for once Hajime!

"Ore-sama wears violet for he notices that you are drawn to such colours." Atobe is hitting on aniki again! But… In a way that does make sense. Doesn't Tezuka-san own a purple shirt? Though it's a really light purple shirt making it look sort of pink. I wonder if he's the uke in their relationship…

"Fuji threw away all my purple shirts. And I am the seme in my relationship with your brother." Whoa… This was just too weird. Too much of a coincidence. Too much… But in a way, Yumiko-neesan says that I'm easy to predict. I quote: 'It's like I'm watching a SOAP opera when I see my cute little otouto!' Hm… I admire how Tezuka-san is able to read people like Yumiko-neesan can. Though it's sort of freaky…

"You're my husband?" Aniki's so embarrassing! The whole café is staring at us!

"…"

"Aww! Kuni-chan! Will you take me home and accompany me up to my closet?" What? Closet? That's sick! Ew! Mental images of aniki and Tezuka-san doing naughty… crap! I'm not going to sleep at all tonight… "Yuuta? We're going to go now, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Ore-sama will not be ignored!"

"I'll come down to make sure that weird smell is out of your room. Saa… Don't be mad Yuuta but it smells like butt in there." Hm… Maybe aniki can read minds too. I wonder if I still smell like ass…

"Yes, you do." What the fuck?

"Who are you talking to Tezuka? I think a little bit of kinky sex will get you back to normal. Ja ne!"

"Ore-sama will not! Will not! Be ignored!"

Hm… That was strange…

"Hehe. Yuuta-kun it's only you and me now." Crap. I forgot, Hajime's still here.

"Yea?"

"Is this shirt violet or purple to you?" This is a trick question! I swear it!

"I'm not answering until I get a soda."

The End

Urchin Power: I did not get this beta-ed so I hope you can all deal with the spelling/grammar errors. If not, feel free to leave comments! Any who… I hope you all had fun reading this!